Textpan V: Yoda Coda

This was originally heard in Deadpan 144: Gross.

Do you think for Yoda’s last birthdays, his family lit 800 candles on a cake and sang “to you, birthday happy”?

What if Yoda was also dyslexic?

Do you think Yoda uses that creepy Darth Vader tree for storage when he’s not training a student? Like that’s where he keeps his hedge trimmers?

Do you think Yoda even notices when his toilet on Dagobah overflows?

Do you think Yoda would have preferred to just die in peace, without having some punk jedi acolyte badgering him with questions during his final moments?

Wouldn’t Yoda have quadrupled his credibility if he’d grown in a mustache and goatee?

Forget earmuffs, does Yoda’s species wear earsocks in winter?

What is Yoda, 20 inches tall? How the hell could you throw a pitch into his strike zone?

And if he didn’t use any force powers, who’d win in one-on-one basketball, Yoda vs. Mini-Me?

Do you think Luke Skywalker still has the ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin hanging around him, even after the Empire is destroyed? Dispensing advice, wisdom, and encouragement as he goes through day-to-day activities? Building that extra room on the house, uncomfortable bowel movements, clipping nosehairs, helping the kids with algebra homework, negotiating with jawas for droids, having sex with Mara Jade. . . What would happen if he called the ghostbusters on them?

Olympic Hockey Results and Anthem Requirements

So, a few of us at Deadpan selected some Olympic hockey teams in a little no-money wager. If a Deadpanite’s selected team loses to someone else’s, then the losing player must record themselves singing the winner’s national anthem. Get it?

The image below shows the participants and their teams, plus the results as of the completion of the first round, or the Olympic Tournament’s “Regular Season”, if you will. The circled names on the chart are required to sing their opponent’s team’s national anthem. The medal round is up next; ie: “The Playoffs”. There may be further Deadpan-relevant matchups to come.

The medal round rematch rule: If your team loses a second time to the same team, then you don’t need to re-perform that national anthem. If your team won in the prelims but goes on to lose to that same opponent in the medal round, then I guess you and your rival are both due to record some singing.

I’ve made this seem more complicated than it really is. Many thanks to The Energizer Bunny for creating this chart.

Olympic Hockey Results and Anthem Requirements

Jack Mangans Deadpan 155: Social Media Bleah

un-Bleah Show Notes.

Jack Mangans Deadpan 155: Social Media Bleah

Jack Mangan is The Seventh Victim

Three weeks til the Deadpanmmmm meetup. (March 11(ish) to 14th(ish) is the Deadpanmmmm meetup.) Are you coming?

Promo – Tuning in to SciFi TV (http://tuningintoscifitv.com/)

Broken Lyrics Challenge by Paul Maki
Cj got one point from last challenge

Polite rap songs

“The Shave” – Claudine

Vanamonde reads the Finnish national anthem

The Troll Master calls Jack

Stolen Paragraphs – Ed from Texas

Jack reads More Polite Rap

Rich Sigfrit discusses the podcasters webathon to raise money for Sonic Boom, Tee Morris’ daughter. Tee’s wife and Sonic’s mother passed away recently. Tune in to theboomeffect.org on February 27th. There are even some bid item up now. Please help in any way you can. (www.theboomeffect.org)

Jack’s Big Doll House

“The Marriage Without Us” – Claudine

Greasy Nipples
Nomad Scry (first comment of the week)
Lo Pan

Outro Babble

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

Closing music – Circle of Doom

Troll Master Orgo has something more to add

Howling Mad Unshow – – featuring J.R. Murdock

Fun conversation with J.R. Murdock.

Howling Mad Unshow – – featuring J.R. Murdock

Jack calls the Pirate Hot Line and gets J.R. Murdock

Listen to J.R.’s tale V & A Shipping and upcoming Billy Billy Barbarian. Check out his website (http://www.ofgnomesanddwarves.com/) or (http://jrmurdock.com/)

Greasy Nipples:
The Smarty Hotties® (First comment of the week)
J.R. Murdock
Nomad Scry
J.R. Murdock

Jack and J.R. discuss their Facebook experiences.

March 11(ish) to 14th(ish) is the Deadpanmmmm meetup. Why haven’t you booked your trip yet.

J.R. gives us a dumb ass memory.

Jack and J.R. are part of the mutual admiration society.

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

Jack Mangans Deadpan #154: Finger There

Lazy show digits.

Jack Mangans Deadpan #154: Finger There

Don’t mess around with Deadpan

Promo – Geek Cred (http://www.geekcred.net/)

Promo – Jack Mangan’s Deadpan (created by JR Murdock)

Amy Bowen gives a NANOWRIMO report

Stolen from the 80’s with Ed from Texas

Amy Bowen gives an excerpt from her NANOWRIMO work

Jack and the Energizer Bunny discuss the Deadpanmmmmmm meetup

The Energizer Bunny gives Jack a spelling lesson

Dicussing the Olympic hockey contest

Rapideye calls in.

Jack joins Facebook

Greasy Nipples – read by Oden
Lo Pan
Nomad Scry
Johnny Null
Vanamonde – First comment of the week

Amy’s errors

Outro Babble

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

March 13th is the Deadpanmmmm meetup. We’re swelling the ranks!

Closing music