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Textpan V: Yoda Coda

This was originally heard in Deadpan 144: Gross.

– Do you think for Yoda’s last birthdays, his family lit 800 candles on a cake and sang “to you, birthday happy”?

– What if Yoda was also dyslexic?

– Do you think Yoda uses that creepy Darth Vader tree for storage when he’s not training a […]

Textpan IV: The difference between politics and billiards

This one has appeared in a number of episodes. Politics and Billiards:

In billiards, you put English on the balls to spin them into a corner. In politics, you put spin on the English when your balls are in the corner. Just don’t scratch.

Textpan III – The Catholic Church Reaches Out to a Younger Crowd

This is from an old, old episode. I don’t know. . . #17, maybe? Sorry, I truly can’t remember, can’t find it in any non-lazy Show Notes.

Warning, the following skit is actually very tame. So if you find yourself offended, then you really need to get a clue.

The Catholic Church is finding […]

Textpan II – OC/DC

If Angus Young were to come out on stage playing guitar while wearing rubber gloves, would the band really be OC/DC? With songs like: Dirty Hands, Disinfected Cheap Back in Bleach You Scrubbed Me All Night Long Have a Mask on Me Fly on the Wall (so we have to move) If You Want Bacteria, […]

Textpan I – If Rappers were RPG Players

This is a new feature around here. . . . I’m going to start occasionally releasing the scripts from certain old Deadpan skits and segments. These scripts were often pretty roughly assembled, and won’t always match exactly to what was heard onpod, but that’s the magic of podbiz.

I’ll list the episode where the […]