Jack Mangans Deadpan #184: The Minivan Story

Mini Show Notes.

No political thing.

Jack Mangans Deadpan #184: The Minivan Story

Is Jack from The Beyond

Congrats to Dan and his new wife. We all wish you many years of happiness.

Promo – Explorers Beyond the Horizon (http://deadrobotssociety.com/anthology/)

Paul Maki motors down the road

The Prophets of Deadpan
Vanamonde (first of the week)
Nomad Scry
Lo Pan
Rhettro
Used Hair
Cj
Ditto
Ditto

Paul continues his trek

EssBee & Sly B regail us with stolen lyrics

Jack gives us a dumbass memory of when he snickered

Amy Bowen gives a dumbass memory and serenades us

Paul passes Nathan Lane

Paul has a chemical reaction on his drive

Dysprosium: –noun Chemistry.
a rare-earth metallic element, highly reactive and paramagnetic,
found in small amounts in various rare-earth minerals,
as euxenite and monazite: used to absorb neutrons in nuclear reactors.
Symbol: Dy; atomic weight: 162.50; atomic number: 66.
– Dictionary.com

Little Deadpan moments with Paul Maki

Closing music

Nine Inch Smurfs first track recording (dare you add to it?)

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

902 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #184: The Minivan Story

  1. I hope you get to sleep that off, Lo Pan.
    JohnBoze: This episode has a lot of you in it. Most of us will miss out on your PBP from the previous episode.

    Congrats, Kurt! You win a play of your Deadpan bumper in this episode!

    Goodnight :Goon:

  2. Hey Pan.

    It seems, if I’m going to sleep in, I’m going to do it on a Thursday. Don’t know why. Must just be one of those things.

  3. Today’s Dead Pan was pretty smurfy. I’m not sure what I more excited about, the new smurftastic version of “Closer” or the Deadpanized version of “Still Alive” that I think Amy is now obligated to sing all the way through.

  4. Well like all big cities it has it’s no go areas, but they have pumped a lot of money into the city in recent years and it’s a nice place to visit..especially if you are a fan of the new Dr Who.

  5. I want to get a donair for lunch but I’m also expecting a delivery. I guess, if the delivery person doesn’t show up on the next hour, I’m stuck eating what ever’s in the house

  6. “The yard guys ate here to clean the leaves. Unfortunatly most of them are still on the trees”

    ????
    You had to feed the yard guys first?
    Why did they go into the trees? Was it something you fed them? Did the yard service hire monkeys?

    I . am . so . confused.

  7. Good bye good bye good bye bye. Leave it. Damn, now I have to fish out a cassette.

    Amy, if you need a backing track for “Still Alive” I volunteer to make one for you, although with my limited skill it could take some time. 🙂 Perhaps my skill will be better after our smurfy upcoming project.

  8. I FINALLY was able to see The Boondock Saints as well as its sequel. I fucking hate Troy Duffy. Hate him like genital warts. However these are great fucking films. The original still holds up 10 years later as a piece of magic and its much maligned sequel of last year (probably because no one wants to give Duffy credit for anything anymore) is right on par with the original, tho it is a few notches below. Love these films and love the soundtracks.

    Try blasting The Skids “Here Come the Saints” while not thrashing about all giddy like. Delicious.

    Goodnight MacManus.

  9. It occured to me this morning … given the time of year, we should help Ed with some home buying tips.

    If the Realtor showing the home has an eye-patch and a hook for a hand you should move along.

    If there is an old cemetery/grave/Indian burial mound on the property … despite the stainless steel appliances, you should look for another house.

    If it is a multi-story house and there is an upper room for which the Realtor can’t seem to find a key … yeh, next house please.

    Finally, if the walls bleed … at the very least you are going to need to negotiate an exorcism into the closing costs. Paint is NOT going to cover that up!

  10. Keeping in mind “location location location” –

    Actually stop by the local schools. An unsettling sense of fear and despair surrounding the school is normal, the slight smell of rotting flesh is not.
    Also, a preponderance of twins in the school yard could be not so good.

    Take the time to check out th zoning in your neighborhood. Avoid any area’s that allow “light industry”, “mobile homes” or “Inter-dimensional portals”.

  11. Meet the neighbors before you make an offer and pay attention to their homes.

    An excessive amount of chainsaws, extensive collections of puppets, well equipped surgery rooms and the presence of Bruce Campbell are all things that might lead to “buyer’s remorse” in the future.

  12. On a different note, I wanted to record something but hubby seems to have taken all the microphones. May have to improvise.

  13. Today’s movie is Goblin. The DVR Says:

    Halloween spawns a goblin that is bent on taking a baby form an unsuspecting family, and it’s up to their teenage daughter to save her little brother from becoming the creature’s meal.

  14. Huey was sort of throwaway fun back in the day. About as relavent as pet rock now. Hey were talking about music, you know what that means. I have to talk about Nevermore. 🙂 Jeff Loomis and Warrel Dane will be releasing more solo albums in the near future, the new Sanctuary album already has three tracks written. Nevermore is still a priority so the wait should be less than five years. 🙂

  15. Mangan in the bathroom, please dont freak
    The door is locked, just you and me
    Can I take you to a studio that has glass laptops
    You can watch yourself, while you are casting.

  16. So the other day I was at Fry’s electronics and the girl at the counter had the most awesome breasts. It didn’t help that she had ample cleavage showing. It took all my will power to keep eye contact with her.

    (homer) Mmmm boobs (/homer)

  17. Sounds cool Ed.

    In keeping with the last meme, be sure that the previous owners take any sealed urns out of the basement. Those ashen footprints are a bitch to get off the ceiling.

  18. Ed – re: next door to Bruce Campbell

    Sure.
    If you have a moat.
    and maybe a chainsaw sharpener.
    … and don’t mind large breasted, “B” actresses coming and going all the time.
    … did I mention “Check to see if dimensional doorways are allowed”?

  19. Hello boys and Bunny. We just got a new HD TV, and are kinda enamored already, but are kinda disgusted with the costs associated with “free HDTV for life”.

    I posted Obama’s “It Gets Better” video on either my blog or FB and said “Nice message, as long as you don’t ask or don’t tell” which I realize is . . . well, judgey. To that I say SUE ME.

  20. Tonight’s video theme is questionable sanity. Started with Firefly Ep 14, now watching The Dark Knight, and if I’m still awake Fight Club

  21. The whole “I can order the assassination of American citizens and I don’t have to explain it because that’s a security secret” kind of spoiled my appreciation for the POTUS.

    Ooops, I got some politics on my shirt.

  22. I recently set up my sisters setop box so she could see some HDTV content on her 42 inch LCD TV.

    She wasn’t impressed, neither was my nephew, gives me hope some people won’t buy into this bullshit.

  23. we have prejudged you

    I sez: I am english, Irish, German, black, dutch, united states-ian, and a bunch of other shit.

    LOL

    Dre sez: Jack is a sparkly vampire *swooooooon* that would explain his late nights…

    I sez: Have you ever seen or spoken to him in the daytime?

    Dre sez: hmmmmm… Yes I have. But maybe he has a ring like those vampires on Vampire Diaries that allows them to be in the sun.

  24. Dre sez: Cuz all your playlists have the same damn name!!

    I sez: Does not!

    Dre sez: Hugh1, Hugh2, punk1, punk2, punk rawk1, punk rawk2

    I sez: leave me alone! *sobs*

    dre sez: awwwww, I am so sorry pobercito

    I sez *snicker* works every time 😉

  25. Good evening deadpan, and special good evening to the incomparable TSH.

    I just had a conversation with my 8yr old niece about the LoTR movies 0_0

  26. Jack

    We are enjoying your music muchly

    LOL.. we can’t finish this because your 9″ smurfs started

    I sez: Dre baby, i want to smurf you from the inside
    Dre sez: swooon. I’ll be the smurfette to your papa smurf
    I sez: swooon!

  27. we sez: this is really good, Jack

    can’t wait to hear how it turns out.

    Can we contribute?
    Dre sez: we have no way to record anything

    I sez: i have no idea what I would do anyway. I ain’t gifted musically

    Jack if you can think of something we can do to contribute in our limited fashion let us know

    breast
    dre and hugh

  28. Jack came back after the music

    Dre wins!

    Jack we think that was awesome and can’t wait to hear it

    got something to say Mennennennennnennngay?

    he didn’t play his outro line

    Dre sez: we enjoyed round 1 or the 9″ smurfs

  29. From the list of smurf characters

    Hugh is:
    Painter Smurf is a brilliant artist and is active in most visual arts. He often wears a red jacket with a black tie, and is often seen either making a painting or a sculpture. In the cartoon, he speaks with a French accent and refers to his paintings as masterpizzas.

    wait.. there is another girl smurf:

    Sassette was created by the Smurflings to serve as a sister for Smurfette. Like Smurfette, Sassette was evil at first, as she was created using Gargamel’s original spell, but with a smurf-sized lump of magical blue clay. Papa Smurf used the same potion on her that he had used on Smurfette to make her a real Smurf. Sassette is a little freckled redhead girl with pigtails, and pink overalls. She calls Papa Smurf “Pappy” and Grandpa Smurf “Grandpy”. She has somewhat of a warm place in her heart for Gargamel since she was made by his spell, calls him “Pappy Gargamel,” and even goes to visit him despite Papa Smurf’s orders.

  30. and anohter one:

    Clockwork Smurfette Schtroumpfette Robot/Mecanique Cartoon
    Like Clockwork Smurf, Clockwork Smurfette is a wooden robot who was built by Handy Smurf. She was made to be the female companion of Clockwork Smurf. Like her male counterpart, Clockwork Smurfette is capable of feelings and morality.

  31. ooooo.. papa smurf had him a hottie!

    Nanny Smurf (a.k.a. Granny Smurf) Mémé Schtroumpf Comics + Cartoon Susan Blu
    An old flame of Grandpa Smurf’s, Nanny enters the cartoon series after being trapped inside a cursed castle for centuries. It is unclear if she is a naturally occurring female Smurf or if she was somehow created via sorcery like Smurfette and Sassette. She’s introduced in Season 8 of the series, and she owns a pet rabbit named Smoogle.

  32. a naturally occurring smurf?

    Do I want to know what that means?

    Smurfette and Sassette were created by sorcery, because of COURSE women can’t come from anything natural or good.

    *fumes*

    Hugh sez: its only a cartoon babe. Give the computer back to me. BACK AWAY from the smurf wikipedia. NOW!

  33. there is a “feral” smurf

    Wild Smurf wears clothing made of leaves and he`s barefoot. He is feral and isn’t understood by the other Smurfs. He can communicate with animals and ask for their assistance. In the cartoon Christmas special, Papa Smurf says that it is Wild’s first Christmas, therefore he doesn’t understand it. He appears to be the same age as the rest of the Smurfs, which would be quite old compared to humans. It is presumed this must be the first time he’s been at the village during Christmas.

  34. ok. wait. Hold on. Everyone stop.

    Gutsy is a new Smurf character for the 2011 movie. He is described as ‘brave to a fault’ in the synopsis.

    the 2011 Smurf movie?
    Are you fucking kidding me? A smurf movie?

    Goodnight smurfs,

  35. I’m disappointed that there isn’t a brewer smurf or since it’s originally belgian, at least a monk smurf.

    oh and Mango Smurf sounds like a perfect name for a Jack Mangan coverband.

  36. Van: re: RLSH sounds like a nice idea, but i think i’ll skip the spandex for a suit.

    And please keep the card tricks to a minimum, I already owe the tumbleweeds 2 tons of water after the last poker game.

  37. goodnight/goodmorning deadpan i’m off to finish sleeping off the alcohol before my eye doctor’s appointment. Have a pleasant monday.

  38. I still don’t get how “this” is Monday.

    My workweek is done in 12 hours. As much as I love my job, I can’t wait to have a nice warm 3 days with my pillow.

  39. CP: Maybe Not — Cat Power
    We all do what we can
    So we can do just one more thing
    We can all be free
    Maybe not in words
    Maybe not with a look
    But with your mind

  40. BTW: You get the last laugh Essbee, local newspapers are on their final legs. For better or worse, their relevance to society has become almost non-existent.

    I suspect that you will continue to be gay looong after the guy who made that endorsement has had to look for an entirely new career.

  41. I know JOe, it’s a sad fact (the newspaper thing, not the me being “gay” thing). I love to hold and read a newspaper. I’m moving my paper $$ to a Denver Post subscription. I don’t know how I’ll be able to scan the police blotter now, though, to find out what the neighbors have been up to . . .

  42. It does!

    I have seriously been reading the Longmont police notes, though, to get the dirt on why the cops knocked on our door at 3 a.m. last Tuesday to interview us about an incident next door.

  43. Currently, I’m playing Bioshock 2. The more I play, the more I realize that it is a gigantic anti-Ayn Rand screed. Which is pretty interesting. I think quite a few gamers weren’t aware of that.

  44. “You can choose who your partner is. I think birth has an influence over it, like alcoholism and some other things, but I think that basically you have a choice,” Buck said.

    He also defended his handling of an alleged rape in 2005 that he declined to prosecute because he believed some of the details appeared to show the woman in question consented to the sexual encounter. Months later, he told the Greeley Tribune that “a jury could very well conclude that this is a case of buyer’s remorse.”

  45. Van – I would think that would be MUCH harder to ignore a ringing doorbell when you don’t actually have one!
    Especially on Halloween.

    Another tip – if you unplug your land-line phone on Halloween and it rings anyway … DO NOT ANSWER IT!

  46. I am still alive. Been wholly unproductive these last few days thanks to a nasty bought of the crud. Finally made it to the doctor yesterday. Still have that “run over by a truck” feeling, but at least my other symptoms are finally abating.

    Just got caught up scanning through the last few days. Carry on.

  47. I’m about to suffer gaming overload. Still playing Fallout but Fable 3 has shipped.

    Just finished creating my special villager from the bonus pack.

  48. Speaking of dreaming . . .

    I’m CP: yesterday’s Fresh Air, which is an interview with Keith Richards. LOVE HIM. He just described how “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” came to him in a dream. Terry asks, “like a sleepwalking incident?” Keith answers, “no, darling, I wasn’t walking, I was lying down.”

  49. Its true, Van. Americas “first come first serve” or “how hard do iI need to punch you in the face before you move” way of movie seating is indeed more better….

  50. I watched yesterday’s The Event this morning. I’m so “meh” about this show. If I didn’t swoon so much for Blair Underwood, I’d stop watching.

  51. I have to say I’m glad I live in a society where a young lesbian couple feel free to snuggle upto each other at the cinema…especially with an old hit like me sitting next to them.

    Cough

  52. We get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles
    Maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver
    Maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

  53. Don’t get me started about the Devils, ditto. I loved Johnny Mac as a player, but he has yet to impress me as a pro coach.

    Rhett – I will definitely check out that Six String Bliss download.

  54. My task for today: completing my Vote-By-Mail Ballot.

    Like the rest of the U.S., I get to vote for Congresspeople. I don’t get to vote regarding gay rights this time. None of the nine ballot initiatives we get to vote on here in California are related to that.

  55. We didn’t have gay rights initiatives on our ballot in Colorado this time either, Amy, but I got mine by voting against the guy who likened homosexuality to alcoholism, and against the guy who would close the Colorado borders ala 1960s Brown Scare Denver shit.

  56. Oh, I see. I haven’t gotten to the voting-for-people section of the ballot yet; I started with the voting-for-propositions part. I’m not particularly fond of either of our candidates for governor this year.

  57. Cool Jack I think you’ll enjoy it. 🙂

    Speaking of cool music and halloween, “And the Maiden Spoke” was based on a real ghost story.

    TMR: My personal favorite track on “The Obsidian Conspiracy” is “And the Maiden Spoke” I was wondering what is the meaning behind this track lyrically and was there any inspiration for that or anything?

    Warrel: Yeah, actually. We recorded “This Godless Endeavor” at Andy Sneed, our producer’s place. He owns a farm in Derbyshire, which is out of London in the middle of nowhere, and it’s this huge farm and it was built in 1617 and we were staying in a guest room and Andy’s mom and Andy’s girlfriend told us stories and said don’t be surprised if you hear women talking if you hear strange things going on, because they’re okay ghosts. Ri-ight. Sure chicks, you’re all trying to make me scared and shit. But one night, sitting right in my bedroom above the kitchen downstairs, Andy’s girlfriend Tabitha told me sometimes these particular ghosts move the chairs around in the kitchen downstairs and I’m like, “Okay, whatever you say.” So I wake up one night, like, two in the morning. And I hear this creek, like a slow scratching of one of the chairs moving downstairs in the kitchen. I fucking jumped out of bed, bolted and ran down there ’cause I thought it was her fucking with me. The door was locked, I searched every room down stairs and I’m like, “Okay, somebody is fucking with me” so I went back upstairs and of course I couldn’t get back to sleep. Twenty minutes later, same goddamn thing happened, but in a different place. It was a different chair. I ran down there, and the first time, the chair was pushed in, and now, it was almost by the door and I’m like, “Okay, I think I might believe these people.” And I don’t know if there are ghosts and to this day I don’t know if they were fucking with me, they could’ve been. But that’s where the inspiration for that song came from.

    TMR: And you decided you just needed to write a song about this, then?

    Warrel: Yeah.

  58. I LOVE Tegan & Sara!!

    And what’s with the wind? If I was smoking, it’d be one of those days where my hair blew into the cigarette and left me bald as . . .

  59. Had a bubble bath. Now laying in bed (sans clothing I might add), watching the news. Have my reader beside me and my phone in my hand.

    Might watch the beginning of the Calgary/Edmonton game in an hour.

  60. According to the news Calgary has the 4th highest murder rate in Calgary. We’re actually doing well this year. And we are doing better than Edmonton which has popped up to third

  61. They are now showing a Crimestoppers re-enactment of a guy who’s been exposing himself to young girls here in Calgary. It’s very strange watching them trying to act it out without showing anything

  62. I really dislike the Fountain Tire commercials. They actually have the opposite effect on me in that the last place I want to take my car is there

  63. I never understand the Score n Win. The idea is if a single player scores five times in a single game then some random Safeway shopper will get a million dollars. What do you thing the chances are they ever have, or ever will have to pay?

  64. I hate new makidyup words. Just saw a commercial for an herbicide that protected against scalaritinia (sp?). That never existed before. Where did it come from? Why now? Silly new plant diseases.

    (already googled it so don’t need to give me a link. Just grumping for the sake is it)

  65. The commercial told me I’m supposed to tell the world I’ll never give up joy for practicality. I figured telling Deadpan is close enough

  66. Overheard at a hockey game, “difficult to do on the back end with that much power.”

    Is this a hockey game or a Porno I’m watching?

  67. I was reading something earlier that said our eyes start to glow in the dark as we age. Some sort of buildup that accumulates in our eyes. But now I can’t seem to find any mention of this, so I’m left wondering if I misunderstood or if the information was just misleading.

  68. Lipofuscin – seems to build up in the body as we age, including in age spots and in our retinas. It apparently fluoresces, rather than “glows-in-the-dark.”

    Well, that wasn’t as exciting as I’d hoped.

  69. After reading the comments:

    Van, my husband read the first two Halo novels and thought they were ok. Better than most tie in novels.

  70. My vet always writes me a novel whenever my cat sees her. After reading her multi-page write up, it turns out I’m going to have to give my cat weekly vitamin b shots. Added to the other meds I give her, at some point she’s not going to want to get near me.

    On a side note, her eyes glow in the dark :happy:

  71. We have two cats, one very old. We SHOULD take her to the vet and figure out what to do to med-wise for her, but she absolutely freaks when she has to go.

  72. EssBee, my cat hates going to the vet too. We have to sedate her before she goes (the vet supplies sedatives) and even then, it’s not good.

  73. I’m nit carving a pumpkin. Not decorating the house. The only reason we do the candy thing is because I buy a whole bunch, knowing we only get about a half dozen kids. Then we eat the rest it I bake with it (Smartie cookies are teh yum)

  74. I think so, Jack. There are some str8 folks who’ve done videos (Sara Silverman, and Jewel – but she might be bisexual). Sly B and I are going to do one soon, I think, or at least I am, and would be happy to post it as a Deadpan video if the community decides to do something.

    I’m struggling with something in my work life re: this. My company is at the forefront of bully-prevention and I want to ask them to get into this, but for some reason hesitate. hmm . . .

  75. *sigh*
    As I Christian, I want to state that I FEAR the likes of Odonnell and these other extremists who are trying to support a government take over of Religious worship.

    One only has to look at what happened to religious worship in NAZI Germany to see an example of NO separation of church and state. Yes, everyone knows what they did to the Jews … but few know about the murders and persecution that CHRISTIAN church goers underwent if they didn’t agree to tow the line for the Nazis. They were actually given OFFICIAL prayers and hymns, direct from the Government.

    This is where this anti-separation bunch is trying to take us. I can only assume that the majority of Christians remain silent about this because they are either already AFRAID of this bunch of bullies … or they foolishly believe that it is THEIR own personal beliefs that will become the official legal doctrine of the land.

    The horror.

  76. I’m not exactly sure what O’Donnell and her ilk’s motivation are. What is it that they are trying to accomplish? Separation of church and state allows us many benefits, primary among them to independently choose our religious path based on our own judgment and not have it dictated to us via law. It allows us to participate in a pluralistic society regardless of our own personal points of view. Do they not understand that the government not having an opinion on their religion actually helps it flourish?

  77. Here are some of the words in your post that might be offensive to O’Donnel and ilk:

    independently
    choose
    judgment
    not have it dictated
    pluralistic
    society
    opinion

  78. Well, motivation could be logical, illogical or thoughtlessly observed. I suspect the the third category for her, which there is no defence against.

  79. The scary thing for me is that the Colorado guy who also thinks separation of church & state is a bad idea IS WINNING in most polls. This is the same guy Lo Pan talked about earlier in the week who 1) refused to prosecute a rape case because to him it sounded like “buyers remorse” and 2) compared homosexuality to alcoholism on Meet The Press recently.

  80. Laugh for today: more ducks died (approx 350) on a tailings pond (that’s not the funny part). The local news asked for people to write in their comments on the deaths. They broadcast two. One asked about a net covering over the ponds. The other…

    “come on, they’re just ducks. You’re putting too much value on their lives. It’s not like they’re people”

    That made me laugh, in a sad kind of way

  81. Hubby texted me saying he’s “tipsy”, doing wine tastings on an empty stomach. I told him he didn’t have to try everything they had. I dint thing he understood.

  82. Actually, I think the conference doesn’t actually start until tomorrow. They did tour a school this morning and are now doing the touristy stuff set up by the organizers for the rest of the day

  83. And Fletcher’s mask for his costume is done.. though nobody will click this link because you are all going to be going to the other show that Jack posts after this one, but I’m putting it here anyway because tho, I lack any artistic ability.. I don’t think it’s half bad.

    http://x.co/JXj6

  84. Today we are training one of my good operators into a different role. That’s a good thing. Except that means that I’m taking a different decent (though insane) operator to run a machine she doesn’t know and leaving a barely-pretending-to-be-trained (bad) operator to run her machine…

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