1,425 thoughts on “Undeadpan

  1. So I finally get a wired xbox 360 controller so I could actually play Spelunky (I don’t have a enough fingers for keyboard play) , turns out the the way the screen updates on my laptop gives me an headache after extended play.

    Ah well.

  2. Reporting on correct Show. Ugh

    Who is ISIS??

    In other news, congrats to Mike Modano, I would kiss him if I knew it would not get apprehended.

  3. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-was-cia-weapon-1578808.html

    For the TL;DR set (which includes me, since I skimmed it):

    “The Central Intelligence Agency used American modern art – including the works of such artists as Jackson Pollock, Robert Motherwell, Willem de Kooning and Mark Rothko – as a weapon in the Cold War.”

    “Why did the CIA support them? Because in the propaganda war with the Soviet Union, this new artistic movement could be held up as proof of the creativity, the intellectual freedom, and the cultural power of the US. Russian art, strapped into the communist ideological straitjacket, could not compete.”

  4. BTW – I jumped well last weekend.
    Went 2.90m (9’6″ – ish) and took 2nd in the “Don’t you think you are really to old to be doing this?” division!

    I have another meet this weekend. I think I have a real shot at 3.05m

  5. Next work travel for me is Houston July 14 – July 18 or so. Not so far from where Mr. From Texas resides. Let me know if you (or anyone that just happens to be in the Houston area) want to have dinner or something. I will be working at the airport and will not have a rental car, so I can only go where the public transportation (if any exists in that area) goes.

  6. Vonnegut’s Cats Cradle is 99p on kindle, I’m tempted.

    triple Cross is playing on the TV:

    Yul Brynner looks snazzy in a German uniform.

    Romy Schneider was a looker in 1967

    Gert Frobe is Gert Frobe

    Christopher Plummer looks very young.

  7. Although tempting, I did not run away to become an Eddie Izzard groupie. I did however go bowling and play miniature golf for work. This job is definitely different than my last :).

  8. I bought Cat’s Cradle for Kindle.

    Thankfully my phone doesn’t ‘t smell as bad as the library copy of CC I read years ago.

  9. I present for your consideration as I just watched a pair of movies yesterday:

    A mere 25 years ago (gads I’m old!), the movie “Dr. Alien” presents a 1998 sex symbol in the form of Judy Landers:


    By 2002’s American Psycho II: All American Girl (and certainly until now) the body type of someone like Mila Kunis is considered a sex symbol:


    When (and why) did we, as a culture, loose the concept that hips are sexy? Somewhere along the way, our society decided that shape in women is only allowed in the chest. I lament for the loss of beautiful bodies and apologize to anyone that finds this a sexist (I am an asshat after all) post. Maybe we need a set of public service announcements modeled after old Wendy’s commercials with someone yelling “where’s the hips?”

  10. Well, after weeks of playing with it, I have decided the quality of this audio book is beyond repair. I think it would have taken me less time to have the thing completely re-recorded than it took for me to reach this conclusion.


  11. Your crap joke for the day:

    “You never surprise me” a woman moaned one day to her long suffering husband.
    “Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that can accelerate from 0 to 150 in under 4 seconds, …… and I’d prefer a blue one!”, she hinted.
    Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
    And finally she got the beautiful present her husband had thoughtfully chosen for her …..


        • β€œHe’s a rebooted Mad Max, but it’s a new interpretation.”

          So I have no trouble with them doing a re-imagining of this film … but if it is a different film, why not just give it a different name? Why couldn’t they drop the “Mad MAx” and just call it “Furry Road” ?

          Things that make you go “Hmmmmm”.

  12. Just following up from above – there won’t be any wedding bells for us. We’re pretty happy with what we have. We can still celebrate the news in October!

  13. Catching up to Van’s Eli Wallach obituary post from yesterday:

    I only just realized he was “The Ugly” from “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” Possibly one of the most iconic performances of all time. RIP, Il Cattivo.

    • Just reading in the latest Ansible that Eli wrote in his autobiography he got more mail for playing Mr Freeze in the 60’s Batman than for any other role in his career.

  14. Van, we’re watching a British cop show on Hulu – Bailey and Scott or something. Why do those women call each other “cock”?

  15. Your crap joke for the day:

    A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked that it be turned down because he was too hot, and so it went for about a half an hour.Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient. He walked back and forth and never once got angry. Finally, a second customer asked the waiter why he didn’t throw out the pest.”Oh, I don’t care,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

  16. So the BBC are going to do a reading of ‘I Am Legend’ on Sunday (split into two parts).

    At least it should end properly…

  17. Your Crap joke for very early on a Sunday:

    According to a study in the new scientist magazine
    women talk almost three times more than men. This is because the first two times men are not
    Fucking listening..

  18. Greetings from BritishFest, a brand-new geek convention here in Omaha! TARDIS dresses, Fourth Doctor scarves, and steampunk outfits abound.

    Unrelated Thought: A Pinata Full of Scorpions would be a good name for a death metal band. (This Unrelated Thought brought to you by Cards Against Humanity.)

    Good night, geeks.

  19. Morning Pan

    My Boo is completely moved out of their apartment and it has been made spotless. The inspection is today, then they can take their time unpacking. Boo and I both pushed ourselves so we are both planning to to nothing today. My nothing consists of video games and reading. Not sure what her nothing is. Probably sleeping until noon, then then same thing as me.

    I was going to to dome grocery shopping today but decided “screw it”. I’ll do it tomorrow.

    Hubby is still in Atlanta and will be until Wednesday.

    I guess I should get dressed now.

  20. Finally got my car battery charged, installed, started the car … and oil poured out the bottom as something failed catastrophically in the engine.
    Got that cleaned up off the driveway and decided to mow the yard. It started raining.
    Finally stopped raining, so I hurriedly got the mower back out to try and get the lawn mowing in, between rain showers … immediately threw a drive belt off the mower. Have now spent an hour laying on the ground trying to force the belt back on or get the damned pulley bolt loosened. Neither has occurred.

  21. “Lavendar Fields Forever.”

    We cut our own lavendar bouquet, as we strolled amongst the purple-hued, fragrant fields of eastern Arizona high country.

    There were bees. Lots and lots of bees. Apparently, they were drunk on lavendar juice.

  22. Crap joke for the day:

    A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair.”I’m goin’ to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.” “That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut!'”

  23. You know what I haven’t done in a very, very long time? And,you know what I decided to do when hubby is out of town so I couldn’t call to help?

    Lock myself out of the house.

    It’s shaping up to be that kind of Monday *sigh*

  24. wow.
    – Justice Ginsberg called the majority’s finding “a decision of startling breadth,” saying that the ruling means “commercial enterprises … can opt out of ANY law (saving only tax laws) they judge incompatible with their sincerely held religious beliefs.”

    I can’t wait for a Muslim business owner to step up to the plate and take a swing at this one.

  25. On the DVD front, that Captain Phillips movie was pretty exciting.
    (This is the Tom Hanks movie about a harrowing Somali pirate encounter, not to be confused with Captain Ron, about the wacky hijinks of Martin Short on a boat with Kurt Russell.)

  26. Watched “WWZ” on Netflix last night.
    I found it to be an about average zombie film.
    I was entertained but then again I had not read the book(Graphic Novel?) so I had no expectations.

  27. So I was dragged to see A Million Ways To Die In the West with my Mom.

    I laughed alot. Very remindful of Spaceballs but with the 2014 vulgarity of Seth McFarlane.

    And fart jokes.

  28. Just watched “Iron Sky”.
    It was okay. Kind of a mess, but a fun little action pic with some nice visuals.
    On a scale of 1 – 5 I’d give it a 3.
    Well actually maybe a 2.5 but I’ll throw in an extra .5 for villainesses in leather.

  29. Final movie of the evening was “Odd Thomas”
    Took a while to get going, had an awful lot of set-up to get you into it’s world but by the last third it sucked you in.
    Worth a viewing.

  30. Crap joke for the day:

    On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said, ‘Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty; it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, and beautiful sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout. There shall be forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon.’God continued, ‘I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.’..’But Lord,’ responded Gabriel, ‘don’t you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?’..’No, not really.’ God replied……….’Just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them.’

    • Will read… but I remember not too far back bemoaning the fact that I heard Sleigh Bells on a Honda commercial, Quieens of the Stone Age on T-Mobile, Tegan and Sara on M&M’s…etc. It all makes sense now.

  31. On an unrelated note, what’s happening in New York? It’s not where hubby’s coming from but the Airport board show three flights coming from there as cancelled

  32. Dallas Buyers Club was definitely a bleak experience, but worth enduring once. I can certainly see why Matthew McConahdjtbdsoanabfbfejsbaghey won the Best Actor Oscar. Wow.

    Goodnight :McConahdjtbdsoanabfbfejsbaghey:

  33. Well it’s looking like this weekend and following week plan just went up in smoke.

    Ah well I shan’t miss the midge bites.

  34. Here’s a homebrew question for those in the know: I’m attempting a clone of Sam Adams Summer Ale this weekend but can’t find Grains of Paradise. Has anyone brewed with black pepper? Advisable or not?

  35. http://www.people.com/article/bethany-townsend-bikini-colostomy-bag-crohns-disease-inspiring-viral

    So, this is all over my Facebook feed. It is an interesting and eye-catching story. I have mixed feelings about her decision, but mostly, I think it is courageous to tell her story and to make a discreet and not-so-pleasant topic, public.

    But… Im guessing her pic is airbrushed and those ostomy bags were put on 5 minutes before she took the picture. (and I will leave it at that, so as not to go into disgusting poop talk)


    • My $0.02: she shouldn’t be shamed for wearing a bikini.

      Are people really making a big deal of this? No one should object to her wearing it in public, unless she’s coming over and emptying the bag on or near their stuff. I suppose her actions could lead to further cultural awareness and acceptance of something most of us automatically find repulsive. . . So sure, give her some points for that.

    • I’m not sure it’s any big deal.
      Does she WANT to wear a bikini? Then wear the bikini.
      No one wears something like that to begin with if they are really worried about what others think.
      If you don’t care what other people might think about seeing you in a bikini, why should the bags or only having one arm or a having a giant birth mark make you feel differently about wearing the bikini?

      • I think the short answer is that people, in general, are just plain mean. And we, at least in this country, are shallow and self-centered and mean.

  36. On a related note, I told hubby we need an orange tabby named spot. He looked at me with a straight face and said, “but then the horse wouldn’t know what to do.”

    I nearly fell down laughing.

  37. Your crap joke for the day:

    Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.One lad raised his hand and said, ‘Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

  38. Stumbled upon “Independence Day” on the TV while the extended family was over enjoying my tasty burgers for the 4th.

    Our commentary was a lot of “Oh, he was in this?” and “Man, they look so young!”

    • We were watching Captain America, and I noticed that Dr. Who’s current companion is one of the dates at the start of the movie. I also forgot there was a nice Raiders of the Lost Ark homage too.

  39. Finally (for now) – got to listen to the latest unDeadpan episode. I’m all in for a “Helluva Deadpan Palooza” for Big Trouble in Little China.

  40. Just back from spending 5 HOURS at a Catholic wedding/reception.
    I have noticed this before of such events …
    /potentially offensive remark about a specific religion
    … when you take the cork off of all of that bottled up, repressed joy … it’s one a heck of a party!
    /potentially offensive remark about a specific religion


  41. http://comicbook.com/blog/2014/07/06/crystal-clarke-and-pip-anderson-cast-in-star-wars-episode-vii/

    “Crystal Clarke And Pip Andersen Cast In Star Wars Episode VII”

    “British actor Pip Andersen is a skilled practitioner of parkour, a discipline that involves propelling oneself through any given environment with incredible grace and agility.”

    I hereby vow that if Episode VII has Parkour in it, I will personally punch J.J. Abrams in the junk if it’s the last thing I ever do.

  42. I just made my hotel reservation for the Deadpan MMMMMeetup in Denver. I will be coming in to town as early as I can on Sunday morning (because I don’t have any more vacation time I can use, sorry) and leaving on Monday evening. Can’t wait to see y’all! πŸ™‚

          • I also had an engine start puking oil last week.
            I couldn’t face the music. Just rolled the car back to the side of the driveway, put a cover on it and am pretending it didn’t happen.
            I’m guessing gaskets but you’d have to pull the engine to replace them.
            I’m not ready to face that music.

          • Ah, that is much more a piece of shit situation than mine. I used gasket generically… its actually blowing out anti-freeze… but with my budget that’s enough. Not to mention our main car nees 600$ of work. Boy me hates autos.

            Unfortunately my car is stuck in a supermarket parking lot, so I gotta do somethin.

  43. An anti-war song with a sense of humour:


    Oh, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle against the war.
    Use your arms for cuddling; that’s what arms are for.
    Escalation* could be bliss.
    Start off with a cuddle; end up with a kiss.

    Cuddle a Frenchman from gay Paree.
    Sit yourself upon his knee.
    Run your fingers through his hair,
    And leave the rest to laissez-faire.

    Oh, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle against the war.
    Use your arms for cuddling; that’s what arms are for.
    Escalation* could be bliss.
    Start off with a cuddle; end up with a kiss.

    Cuddle a Russian, a peasant hussar.
    Let him show you his samovar.
    They say the Russians all say “nyet.”
    I’ve never had that answer yet.

    Oh, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle against the war.
    Use your arms for cuddling; that’s what arms are for.
    Escalation* could be bliss.
    Start off with a cuddle; end up with a kiss.

    Cuddle an Indian; do it with verve,
    Then you’ll break down that brave’s reserve.
    Get into a big powwow,
    Then he’s bound to show you “how”β€”

    Oh, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle against the war.
    Use your arms for cuddling; that’s what arms are for.
    Escalation* could be bliss.
    Start off with a cuddle; end up with a kiss.

    Cuddle an Australian, a wizard of Oz,
    On the beach with Santa Claus.
    Rub his back with suntan oils,
    And wait until his billy boils.

    Oh, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle against the war.
    Use your arms for cuddling; that’s what arms are for.
    Escalation* could be bliss.
    Start off with a cuddle; end up with a kiss…

  44. Your crap joke for the day:

    A Bear walks into a bar and asks the barman:

    “Can I have two………………..pints of beer please?”

    The barman replies:

    “Ok but why the big pause?”

    The bear replies:

    “I don’t know I was born this way…”

    • In my experience, a decent set does a good job where you have a droning constant type of noise like on a airplane or train. Not so well at trying to silence annoying coworkers in an open office.

      Also, cheap ones that I’ve had the misfortune to use seem to just crank up their own volume to try to drown out the outside noise, rather than really cancelling anything outside.

    • OMG, I can contribute to 1/3 of this conversation!
      I’ve read the first two Manhattan Projects paperbacks, which I assume are omnibus editions of the periodical comics releases.
      It’s brilliant, bloody, and completely nuts. Sometimes a bit too out there, but still worth your time, if you can tolerate a bit of mania.

  45. http://geektyrant.com/news/geektyrant-vs-dumbledore-vs-gandalf-fantasycon-panel

    How I think a real Dumbledore vs. Gandalf showdown would go:

    Gandalf: Dubledore my old friend. How are things at Hogwarts?

    Dumbledore: A bit of a kerfuffle with the dark one. All worked out in the end though. How about Middle earth?

    Gandalf: Much the same old bean. Much the same. Some leaf and wine for you?

    Dumbledore: Certainly.

    Not exactly an interesting showdown, but what would you expect from two wise good old farts?

  46. ugh. Calgon, take me away. And by ‘Calgon’ I mean ‘cocaine’.

    FYI, Ive never done cocaine…but I’m 90% sure if offered I’d do it in an instant.