1,012 thoughts on “Un Mas

  1. Your crap joke for the day:

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”..”Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”..”But, officer, I just wanted to say,…”..”And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”…A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”…”Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

  2. So for the first time iTunes refused to update tonight, tried reinstalling and it was still crapping out.

    Had to uninstall all the bits of Apple software on PC, then delete left over directories, reboot and then reinstall.

    Now it works..grrrr!

  3. I could probably slide to a later June weekend. July and August do get difficult for me as well.

    I knew we were talking about Father’s Day weekend, but I didn’t have an issue. As holidays go, it’s in the pile with Grandparents day and Boss appreciation day.

  4. Since we’re talking MMMMMeetup scheduling, I will weigh in with my thoughts on the possible weekends that are being discussed:

    May 16-19 – I can definitely show up for this one, although it’s not my first choice.

    May 23-26 – (Memorial Day weekend) – OK, no problem here

    Any other weekend in June – OK, no problem here (except for the below)

    June 27-30 – Same as May 16-19 – can show up, but would prefer to avoid this weekend

    Note that due to my work schedule and not having any more personal time I can use, I will get into town either late on Saturday night or early on Sunday morning, depending on when I can get a flight.

  5. The only weekend I know for sure is bad is the first one in June due to Relay For Life. Any thing else might work but I dont know for sure. We will fo the best we can, but it is more important to pick a date foe Van, imo.

  6. Weird dream about the meetup. I got stranded on the Breaking Bad set and we all ended up dining with Benedict Cumberbatch.

    Must lay off the Frosties before bed…

  7. Your crap joke for the day:

    A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!” The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Aitn’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before. The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”

  8. People can be so cute. A young lady just found out we have Brandon Sanderson as our guest. I could hear the quiver of excitement in her email, enquiring about how she can see him

    :cheerful:

  9. Hubby says he has a mystery door in his room. It’s locked and he wants to know what’s on the other side. I asked if it was linked to the room next door but he said it isn’t.

    His last text told me he thinks it’s a secret time and space portal. I told him to take pictures if he does end up in another time or dimension

  10. We finally got to play our new board game, last night — Ticket To Ride.

    It is a super fun game, with potential to unleash a lot of strategies.

    I highly recommend it for you and yours!

  11. I just brewed an English Red Ale. This was my 7th brew, I think, and by far the smoothest experience. It’ll be called Deadpan Red, because Van. And also Alvie recommended a Red for this round. Deadpan! Red! Ale!

    Mr. Lo, you must come next time.

    It’s been a fun day all around. I went and stood in line at 6:30 a.m. today for some free Broncos swag with 1,000 other cold people, then took my mother-in-law shopping for a table-top a.m./f.m. radio so she can listen to Rockies games this season. We also had lovely greasy Five Guys burgers for lunch. Full, fun day!

  12. To the fucktards that broke into my cars last nite and only took the 5 year old GPS – it only stays charged for 5 minutes and you forgot the charger. Fools.

      • Nothing in particular. I’m going to see about signing him up for some game demos, probably real dungeon. He and his buddies play these “games” were they make up stories and act them out with swords, lightsabers, superhero gear, etc. I’m trying to help him make a transition to doing the same sort of things indoors with dice. We’ll see how that goes. He’s got one friend who isn’t even allowed to watch Harry Potter, so I have to be careful to avoid “demonic” things if some of his friends play.

        He’s also excited that there might be some video game demos there too.

        I think it’s going to be quite mind-blowing for him, in the best way possible.

    • I saw that! One of my employees is working at home today and called from her bathtub – the guy next store started shooting a gun . . .

          • In defense of myself and other parents of teens with severe depression… believe it or not, there are other factors that can lead to depression than “poor parents”. I know we have a tenancy to blame everything on the parents, but let’s get the whole story before we start throwing potentially unwarranted stones, shall we?

          • Good point UH.
            Getting access to help for depression is often difficult and expensive. That added on top of the social stigma against getting help and the general difficultly of trying to figure out if you have a normally moody teen (“all I wanted was a PEPSI!”) or one with sever depression … Parenting is a tough and vastly underpaid, middle management position.

            Next big change needed in society is the view on Depression as an illness (a treatable one) and NOT just “suck it up and quit whining” thing. Of course we’d also have to get insurance to pay for counseling and treatment.

            my .02 cents

          • Hey, UsedHair – – I agree 100%, and I hope my shorthand statement didn’t come across as “depressed kids = poor parents.” My comment is aimed at sick parents whose actions ambush their kids’ futures, kids with depression issues who might have had a chance, if not for the rotten adults in their lives. I’ll throw stones at those people all day, every day.

    • Best part of the whole story: “One of the cafeteria workers also suffered minor injuries when she broke the glass to access the fire extinguisher” Nothing like products designed for safety that end up causing injuries themselves.

    • Desert Pixie and I had the same discussion this evening. The point isn’t to just get this thing done at all costs, the point is to have as many attendees who wanna be there be there.

      It’s probably gonna need to be September-ish, though.

  13. Will the icepocalypse come upon us, or not? This is the question upon the minds of Southeast Texas. Most schools have announced closure for tomorrow, so the kiddos are happy.

  14. The NHL Western Conference is amazing. The Avs 71 points is good for 5th place overall. Conversely, that same 71 points would be good for 2nd overall in the East. Crazy.

  15. I love this man.

    I will grow old with this man.

    I will care very deeply for this man.

    I will be “here” & “there,” for this man.

    I will smile for this man.

    I love this man.

    Jack Mangan– these words, and, my heart, are for yiu.

  16. Watching the noon news. Apparently there’s a petition in the US to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. What makes you think we want him back?

  17. I had a cortisone shot in my knee yesterday, and the jury is still out. Right now, worse than before the shot. I’m told it take 2-3 days.

  18. Strangely working tech:

    The sound bar I bought recently has a auto off function if no sound is playing.

    I use the AUX connection on the soundbar connected to the headphone socket on the TV.

    When I watch Netflix on my PS3 I have no problems, however when watching live TV on the skybox (or recorded tv on the skybox,) the soundbar switches off every 15 minutes.

    Grrrrrr!

  19. Your crap joke for the day:

    This Morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

    I was staring at her boobs when she said “would you please press one?”

    So I did.

    I don’t remember much after that…

  20. RE: Ed’s comment earlier on Agents of SHIELD – I’m only on ep 10, but yeah, if theyre going where I think theyre going with Skye’s mom its gonna be a big pile of boo. The shows already on thin ice with me, growing shattier each week. Its the opposite Sleepy Hollow.

    • I hope we get more decisive action this time around. We better not get another long rambling excuse of why it can’t be done….like we did with the Deathstar petition! /s

      • Ironically, Canada can deem folks inadmissable if they have been convicted of DUI or any other felony. Sooooo there’s that little conundrum as well.

  21. Crap joke for this chilly morning:

    A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest. “Oh I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

  22. Well went to the Docs today, another High BP reading, now to endure all sorts of tests over the next few weeks.

    At least I got my blood sampled quickly.

  23. I have a question for the beer drinkers that were using Pintly. Has everyone switched to BeerAdvocate or some other platform? Apart from and excel spreadsheet, I’ve been tracking my beer bottles on Pintly, but they are missing so many of the beers that I have (hence the spreadsheet). BeerAdvocate seems to have far more beers listed. However transferring 500+ beers from one system to another seems a gargantuan task with little return on investment. Opinions?

      • I don’t use anything. We just drink what looks good.

        There was a time when we had one of every bottle of beer we tried lining the top of the kitchen cupboards. Once they reached three deep I decided it was getting a little ridiculous and recycled them all.

          • I started to hit some of Pintly’s limitations (like not having some of the beers I had) and I just stopped using it. Now I don’t use any. Guess it did not “enrich my user experience” enough to give it my time. *shrugs*

  24. So the olympics start next week. I know there was some talk of a pool, did it go any farther than talk. I remember saying I’d root for Canada, of course.

    • I watched it live and it was about the scariest thing I had ever seen.
      Not “scary movie” scary but “OMFH this is real life a human is gonna die now” scary.

      I shall attempted to watch it again now that time has passed and see if it is still as intense.

      • So yeh. Still quite powerfull but here are some bits they edited out.

        The exit from the capsule took several minutes more than they showed. There were a series of things he had to do first. After he opened the capsule door, you could hear him breathing harder and over the following minutes until he jumped, his responses with ground control seemed to grow slower and confused.
        They often had to repeat things a few times to get a response from him and when I watched it live it gave me the real sense that maybe something had happened to his oxygen supply or something.
        In reality, his visor heater had failed and he was facing the life or death decision as to whether to scrub the mission. In one interview I heard him admit he was fighting a rising bit of fear/panic.

        • Another thing from seeing it live (spoilers if you didn’t view Pixie’s link yet)-
          If you were the sort of geek who followed this sort of thing (me), you knew that one of the biggest dangers of a fall from that altitude was the flat spin or a tumble. Things tend to start that and pick up speed in a hurry. When it starts, a human has a very short window of time before it causes them to black out. Unconscious people can’t deploy shoots, much less get in the right position to have a shoot “auto deploy”. When Felix jumped there was no live feed from his suit. So we had this long range, black and white speck from a tracking camera. After falling for a few moments that speck flashed “Light” … “Dark”.”Light” … “Dark”.”Light”. “Dark” .”Light””Dark”. “”LightDark”.””LightDarkLightDark”
          You knew it HAD to be “The spin”.
          Supposidly, one of the things being tested in this jump was a special emergency system that would deploy itself in the event of one of these spins. For some reason it didn’t or wasn’t being deployed.

          In the audio (I noticed it was edited in this video)you could here his breathing start to get very rapid and loud. Ground control was calling him (very calmly, I might add) but he was NOT responding.
          Then the sound of his breathing quit. I’m not sure I was breathing at that point. Another moment or so and then the “spot” stopped flashing. He had stopped the spin.
          I read afterwards that he pulled himself together and (having now fallen into atmosphere that finally had some density to it) was able to use his arms to stop the spin. I have seen it discussed that there are few free fall jumpers in the world that might have pulled that off in the situation he was in.
          ANYWAY – that is why you hear such a response of cheering when he said he had stopped the spin.

          If you ever see the external footage of him landing, when he kneels and kisses the ground it is not for the cameras. He was truly honestly that happy to be back on earth and alive.

          That guy = “The right stuff”.

          • AND ANOTHER spoiler thing …
            Because his visor heater had malfunctioned, the inside had iced over and he couldn’t see his altimeter clearly. Sadly, this led him to deploy his shoot about 20 seconds to soon to break the record for longest free fall. He gets “fastest” and “farthest” though and that’s not too shabby.

            Okay. I’m through with my fanboy/geekout now.

          • I also recall watching that historic jump with the kids, thinking “I might be streaming video of a person’s awful death here”. They were disappointed that he didn’t reach the longest freefall record – – I had no idea that was the reason he didn’t get it.

            Incidentally, “The Last Cyberpunk,” my first-ever published story, ca 2003-2004, focused around a “stratodive” from space.

  25. Switching to Forgotify. This selects tracks from Spotify that have never been played.

    Until now…

    CP: Fidelio, Op 72c: Overture – Beethoven

  26. So, while it’s no Google Gigabit, I just had the techs rollaway from the house after upgrading my from 18Mbps downloads to 45Mbps. I actually ran some speedtests and am getting about 47.

    We’re in some tall cotton right here!

  27. From the “It’s a mad world” files –
    The State Department finds that there is no environmental problem with allowing the Keystone pipeline because – (fasten your seatbelts) – the oil IS 17x more polluting then other oil sources and is actually worse for the environment but since the company selling it will find a way to get the oil to market even with out the pipeline … our help (US)does not make it worse for the environmental.

    It’s the old, “He was going to die anyway so our killing him isn’t actually murder.” defense.

  28. Perhaps I’m just too cold and cynical. I’ve seen this story from people in my Facebook feed a few times this past week:

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20780776,00.html

    I gotta say, if my wife passes before I do and I spent the rest of my days sitting by her graveside, she’d slap the shit outta me for wasting those years when I finally died and caught up with her.

  29. So I am going to be watching (at least the second half of) the Super Bowl on the big TV screens at work. I’ve been called upon to work a single night shift tomorrow night (Sunday night into Monday morning). It will be only my second time ever staying up all night. The first time was almost (but not quite) ten years ago. This will be an interesting experience, but I think I can handle it. If I can, I might sneak in an update from my phone while I’m there.

    Off to get as much sleep as possible in preparation. Good night, Pan.

  30. So, I got a fancy new phone and *gasp* a new phone number. If you are a regular here, then you probably oughtta have the new number. Please go ahead and send a message and I’ll get it to you.

  31. One for Cj, told to me by a bus driver.

    Driver pulled up to the stop, and this little child was sucking on a lolly.

    The driver in a playful mode asks the child if he could have a kick of the lolly.

    The child looks the driver up and down and replies.

    “Fuck off!!”

    Kids these days…

  32. Well, that was a steaming pile of poo this evening. While I’m happy for Jeremy and disappointed for EssBee and Lo Pan, I would have preferred something a little more competitive either way.

  33. There, I had a productive morning.

    I did two hours of audio edits.

    I vacuumed the whole house, even moving as much of the furniture as I could to get under them. I mopped the kitchen floor, cleaned the kitty litter, changed the bed sheets, and have a load of laundry in.

    Next, I’m going to glue an eye on a teddy bear that seems to have lost his.

    Then, watch the news and maybe, just maybe, do a movie PBP.

    I’m tired.

  34. “I’m Pretty Sure” #12

    I’m pretty sure Avicii is this generation’s BT and “Wake Me Up” is this generation’s “Never Gonna Come Back Down”

  35. I wanted to clarify on a statement I made the other day, regarding PSH and his death.

    I am so sorry if the tone I used hurt anyone’s feelings- as I believe it has done so.

    The tone I used was harsh and direct and left no room for “the reality of things.”

    People who choose and continue to choose the lifestyle of drinking too much, gambling too much, using mind-altering drugs too much are the ones who I have no sympathy for.

    Now, the millions of people who have sought out help and pursued treatment and/or are previous abusers who have stopped and recognized that those days were poor choices; KUDOS for taking back your life.

    For those who bounce in and out of treatment, I feel bad for some of these folks who are trying and keep on trying to beat the demon inside.

    PSH, I dunno. I hear he has been battling addiction for a long time off and on. He was a brilliant actor. That is the extent of my praise of him.

    Jack and I have had numerous discussions about actors and artists and songwriters and singers and the use of drugs and the question of, “Are they brilliant because their mind is altered from drugs?” or “Are they brilliant regardless?”

    That is food for thought and an interesting debate.

    Again, I am sorry for the tone I used the other day, as I did not mean to attack anyone personally here in the Deadpan zone.

    • Pixie, I can only speak for me on this one. My feelings weren’t hurt. As a person who was/is/will be really impacted by addiction five ways to Sunday (sundown? I never know), I’ve probably used the tone you used at times in my life. We all have our own stuff that informs what we say and how we feel. I am of the opinion that empathy can go a long way to protecting feelings; in other words, when I read your comment, I got it.

      The one thing I’d challenge you on from this post is the “People who choose” part. Choosing has very little, if anything, to do with it, in my humble opinion/scarred and bloody experience. That being said, people who respect each other as we do can agree to disagree on such matters with no wounds.

      xox

  36. Thank you for clarifying!

    Really, it wasnt so much a PSH issue ( I dont think we have any uber fans here, tho he was well liked). I think what has to be treaded carefully on here is the issue of “choice”. Granted, there are some that choose to be self destructive and dont care about the ramifications to others. But to most addicts I’ve known (and this may or may not include myself) the choice boils down to the mental make up in the brain that’s been formed thru use. One can choose to stop and really.. REALLY mean it… but find themselves on the end of a needle or bottom of a bottle over and over.

    /heavy for Deadpan

  37. The back of this packet of Chocolate Limes is full of nutritional information but if you want to know how many calories in one sweet…

  38. I have spent a ridiculous amount of time fixing my iTunes library. And I can’t even have a beer since I’m very sick with the flu. 🙁

    • And here comes the scientist to shit all over everyone’s good time:

      1. If anything, this dog has relative pitch. Perfect pitch is something else entirely.
      2. As with Clever Hans (the horse that could do math problems)(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clever_Hans), the trainer may not even realize it, but she is looking and nodding directly at the key she expects the dog to play. He is responding to her commands rather than processing music and interpreting which key matches the tone he’s hearing.
      3. This woman SUCKS at playing tones on her whistle. If the dog really had perfect or even relative pitch he would likely be lunging for her throat (or maybe I’m just transferring my own desires here).

      • As in the Clever Hans case (which I first heard about whilst reading Sagan’s ‘Broca’s Brain’) the mundane explanation takes nothing away from what the animals are doing, still clever.

      • This one got me: One truism of addiction science is that long-term abuse rewires your brain and changes its chemistry, which is why triggers (or “associated stimuli,” in scientific parlance) are major risk factors for relapse.

        I know lots of people in recovery, and the one thing I’m absolutely sure about is that the thing about people in recovery is: sometimes they’re not.

  39. Saw this on a Pawn Shop today driving in:

    “Get Cash for Guns”

    I honestly dont know if they meant that you can sell your guns there and get cash in return, or sell other stuff for cash with which to go buy guns…

  40. Observation #2

    saw this store for the first time – “Polish Pottery”

    I dont know if its pottery from Poland or pottery you need to shine well.

  41. In the distant future, when civilizations rise again from the ashes of the apocalypse, the most shocking thing those distant historians will learn is that the final world war erupted not between the United States and China…

    http://imgur.com/0Lc0zXN

  42. Your crap joke for the day:

    A lawyer was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.

    His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.

    A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!”

    Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was “cute.” She asked, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

    His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”

  43. Hi all y’all… Anyone ever post results of that Survey monkey survey? I’m still hoping to save the monies and book our cruise for September so I need dates and decisions!

    #ItsNotReallyAllAboutMe

    #HashTagInThePan

  44. These were both early write-in suggestions:

    -Watch a movie with a DP Play by Play

    -cook/eat an ethnic dish by winning team home country (olympics) and write post about experience on boards

    If you like these, then write ’em in yourself too!

  45. Wow. The new season of Comic Book Men premiers SUNDAY night at MIDNIGHT. AMC is rally trying to kill it aren’t they? I;m indifferent.

  46. Your Olympic Men’s hockey teams:

    Austria
    Canada -claimed
    Czech Republic -claimed
    Finland -claimed
    Latvia
    Norway
    Russian Fed. -claimed
    Slovakia
    Slovenia
    Sweden
    Switzerland
    United States

  47. I spent my youth spinning yarns
    With the lady of the manner
    Now everyone’s avoiding me
    Because I’ve got the ‘scatter’.

    AH, Dick Valentine. Writing wonderful STD lyrics since 2007

  48. Crap joke for this Saturday morning:

    A guy with a gun enters a bar.

    “Who the fuck had sex with my wife?” he snarled.

    A voice was heard in the background, “You don’t have enough bullets mate!”

  49. Got hit with an Oreos commercial before a video on YouTube and realized it was Tegan & Sara. Verified with this:

    http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/tegan-and-sara-sing-latest-oreo-commercial-and-its-pretty-great-155480

    Believe me, I understand the need to make a living and it was cool that it was actually a good song. I’m not trying to throw any bad juju at Tegan and Sara. Still love them to death. But none of that stopped my first reaction from being… Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  50. Apparently the CBC has a very nice Hockey Night in Canada app for both Android and iOS. I like it much better than some of the other apps I’ve tried.

  51. Considering the Olympic hockey has already started, what were the results of the Survey Monkey? What will be my penalty when Latvia inevitably looses?

  52. For non FBers:

    The new Robcop film, two thoughts:

    It’s not as good as the original (yeah yeah I’m an old fuddy duddy).

    When a certain character breaks out the MF word you will laugh….

  53. To answer UsedHair’s question from above:

    The Olympic SurveyMonkey poll closes at midnight tonight. The voting to do both the Olympics AND the NHL playoffs was unanimous.

    The voting for the consequences is still close. It looks like it will be one of these 4:
    Listen to a song chosen by you and record an Earbuddies-style response for play on a future Deadpan or Unshow .
    Record themselves singing a snippet of a song chosen by you, for play on a future Deadpan or Unshow .
    Take and submit a photo of one object from a (group-approved) list of 3 items chosen by you, to be posted on the Deadpan Flickr and Facebook page.
    Record themselves for 60 seconds while watching a movie chosen by you, for play on a future Deadpan or Unshow .

  54. So I competed again today.
    Didn’t do as well as last time 🙁
    Due to there being only two 19 year olds in my group though, I took third.
    I have a medal.
    Which I guess makes me bona fide.
    My back hurts.

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