The end of Deadpan is nigh, in case you didn’t know.* What better way to take this thing out than, with a Massive Duel of the Fates? This won’t be your grandpod’s Doodle, though. This will be an interactive, super-sized, single-serving battle royale with cheese, featuring as many characters and condiments as we stuff between its sesame seed buns.
As we’ve done in the past, we’re taking suggestions for Duel of the Fates combatants (see the updated list below). The format of the Duel will also be basically the same; all characters will be compared in 5 silly categories:

-Who’s the most Iconic?
-Love Prowess
-Who’d Win in a Fight?
-Rotating Category (TBD)
-Intangibles
-Tiebreaker Rotating Category (if necessary)

What will be different:
-The Judge(s) will award points to each character in each category. The character with the most points at the end will be declared the winner.
-Rather than a one-on-one comparison, all characters in the final list will be in the DotF ring, trying to win each of the silly categories – – more a rumble than a duel, really. Your recorded audio contributions will be necessary *for each of the categories* to explain why your favorite should win. Your audio can be as clever, creative, succinct, sound-edited, Audacious as you wish. Anything from “I think [my favorite character] would win a Fight against any of these other losers! Woo!” to a mega-produced Roger Waters concept album about your character. The Judge(s) will award points to the characters in each category based on the audio submissions.

Ways you can play along, one last time:
-Suggest characters for the final rumble. The final official participant list will be announced in Deadpan #284, so that’s your deadline. Email or social media message me with your suggestions before that episode releases. You know how to reach me. I only request that your suggested character have some link to Deadpan’s past. However tenuous.
-Record/produce/call the voicemail line with your input as to why a certain character should win each of the categories. (Rotating Category will be announced along with the full list of Final DotF characters).
-I’ll be the host and judge, but I’m open to co-judges for this final Rumble of the Fates. Email me if you’re interested or curious.

Pure podcasting isn’t the priority for most of us that it once was, but if you’re reading this, then it’s highly likely that you’ve contributed or participated to podcasts in some way in the past; whether it was Deadpan, Wingin’ It!, someone else’s, or one of your own. I’d appreciate a few minutes of your time and few energy units of your sense of humor – – one last time – – to help us send Deadpan and DotF out on a high note.

If you’re unfamiliar with Duel of the Fates, then check out the first two seasons on Podiobooks.com (lazy hyperlink) – – or check out season 3 on Deadpan episodes 145-151 (lazy hyperlinks).

Current list of characters suggested for the Final DotF Royale with Cheese:
-Mush
-Gremlin on the wing
-chicken scissors
-Huey Lewis
-Krista Now (Southland Tales)
-Smurfette
-Galdalf the Gay
-Neil deGrasse Tyson
-Jules Winnfield
-Cthulhu
-Arthur Dent
-Clyde from Pac Man
-Van’s crap joke of the day
-Daisy Duke
-Pitfall Harry
-Chamberlain Skeksis
-Lando Calrissian
-Santa Thing
-Barbarian Tribal Leader
-Ash from Evil Dead
-Iron Man
-General Lee Millennium Falcon
-Zmed
-Kelly LeBrock from Weird Science (Was she somehow connected to something in Deadpan’s past, Justa J0e?)

*Yes, Deadpan will cease at episode #288. Stencil the message onto your sandwich boards and wear them at busy intersections.