249 thoughts on “House of Un

  1. Since I did pretty much nothing yesterday, I have a large plate in front of me. Today’s schedule includes:
    Quarterly royalty reports for authors
    Calling Government of Canada (expect lots of hold time on that one)
    Continuing the edits on one of our audio book releases.
    Edit fall catalogue.

    Let’s see how much I actually get done this morning.

  2. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you just sit down and put your mind to it. I’ve already completed three of the four items on my list. Although, to be fair, the Government of Canada is now me waiting for them to call me back so I guess I’ve only got 2.5 items done. Still… :happy:

    • That’s the same girl who killed Eddie Van Halen’s “Eruption” on video. Good for her!
      My greatest accomplishment at 14 was beating The Legend of Zelda.

      (…….. OK, it was a Laser Tag Novice League championship, but look where that’s gotten me…….)

  3. Crap joke for the evening:

    A couple was going out for the evening. They’d gotten ready, all dolled-up , dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as they start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don’t want the dog shut in, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.”A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. “Sorry I took so long” he says. “Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her out in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!”The silence in the cab was deafening.

  4. CW: 2-headed Shark Attack

    To quote hubby, “the production quality matches a lot of porn… In fact, I’m willing to bet most of these women did act in porns”

  5. Why is the atoll sinking now? It obviously has been ther a while since there wer fisher men’s huts on it. A couple of docks…

  6. There, dressed and ready to go.

    My to do list for today:
    Contact Patricia Briggs
    Minor edits on our next book release (not a Patricia Briggs book)
    convert book to e format
    Contact the Calgary public library supplier to see when they want it.
    Work on audio edits.

    Let’s see how much I actually get done today.

  7. Your crap joke for the day:

    A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?””No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.”Will you use it to gamble?””I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay live.””Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?””Are you NUTS! I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The bum was
    astounded.”Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”The man replied, “Hey, man, that’s OK! I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf!”

  8. This morning, I was looking for the phone # for my local Dick’s Sporting Goods for a totally normal reason for a girl.

    I’ve had three employee meetings where they sat with me and looked at my computer screen. I just realized that my little google search window on the top-right corner of my browser has said “dicks” since around 7 a.m.

    sigh . . .

  9. Morning Pan

    This morning I haven’t even made it as far as a towel. Still in my sweats, thinking about heading for a shower.

  10. Today’s tasks:

    Make minor corrections to ebook conversions
    Format and print WWC program participant stickies
    Review the WWC program book (which I managed to actually not create this year, bwa, ha, ha, ha!)
    Audio edits (which I did none of yesterday)
    Pick up books to be sold at WWC on our behalf.

  11. How can they dress up Data in “mid 21st Century clothing” and think he would really fit in on Earth?

    (Scene from Star Trek: First Contact)

  12. I havent verified the story, but its still cute and funny. Happy Birthday, Julie Andrews

    Julie Andrews Turning 79 – this is hysterical!
    To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used: (Sing It!) – If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

    Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
    Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
    Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
    These are a few of my favorite things.

    Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
    Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
    Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
    These are a few of my favorite things.

    When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
    When the knees go bad,
    I simply remember my favorite things,
    And then I don’t feel so bad.

    Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
    No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
    Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
    These are a few of my favorite things.

    Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
    Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
    And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
    When we remember our favorite things.

    When the joints ache, When the hips break,
    When the eyes grow dim,
    Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
    And then I don’t feel so bad.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>
    (Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews’ clever wit and humor with others who would appreciate it.)

  13. I still make it a point every summer, to catch a firefly.
    I no longer get the jar, poke air holes in the lid and see how many I can catch. In fact, it is a more of a “catch and release” strategy and really, just the one.
    Some how, it feels important for me to make sure I do this.

  14. CW: Rain (fucking Raymond) Man

    God, I love to laugh at the 80’s fashion and video graphics.

    Oh, and a young, big snauze Tom Cruise

  15. Tonight I suffered through “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”

    I had managed to make it this far in life without seeing it. Why oh why did I break that streak. 🙁
    I am simply amazed that the entire franchise didn’t die right there and then with that festering pile of meh. It didn’t know if it wanted to be a cutesy family film or a gruesome teenager’s creep fest or an adult’s “action adventure romance”. I didn’t know what it wanted to be so it just threw it all up against the wall to see if anything would stick. Oh the horror.

    I’m listening to Cake to try and get the blech of this film out of my head but it’s not helping much.

    • There are so, so many transcendent moments in that film. Along with many terrible parts (evil mind-controlled Indy? WTF? The heart scene and the dinner scene were also pretty scarring for young viewers in the theater, ca 1984(?)

      I am surprised you’d never seen it before.

      • I don’t know how I had managed to miss it in the theatre but by the time it was available on video, I had heard bad things about it so there was not much motivation to see it. I now have the DVD box set so I decided to give it a go.
        Wish I hadn’t.

    • Suffered thru???? This film blows Last Crusade out of the water. I’ll defend this film to the hilt, I don’t give a good goddamn what folks think. And please, its not like Raiders “knew what it wanted to be” either. It just knew to be a good action flick and that’s what Temple of Doom was too. I wont defend Short Round or Kate Capshaw’s screaming other than to say they’re nowhere hear as terrible as people say. It made great money and it was actually quite critically lauded overall. SO no, I assure you there was no way for it to kill the franchise. While I can appreciate the hatred for Phantom Menace, even tho I dont agree with it, I’ve never understood the backlash for this film.

      • Well I can site some stuff that bugged me right from the start.

        The opening cheesy musical number. Okay. I’m down with cheesy if that’s what this wants to be. Then some guy posing as a waiter and is apparently some long time friend of Jones who is willing to die for him gets killed seconds after we meet him. Who is he? Why did he agree to follow Indy in here why is he willing to die for him? We aren’t told so we have to assume he is disposable except Indy gets all bent out of shape about it.

        There is the girl who comes over and gets involved in a gangster shake down. Why? Why didn’t she leave as soon as guns were pulled? What investment did she have in any of these charactures? It isn’t explained.

        So the movie starts to get tense and all serious … then decides to have a 3 stooges type “slapstick” fight scene with balloons and an apparently endless supply of nightclub patrons who just keep running back and forth.

        At this point, why does the girl continue to run around with Indy?
        He doesn’t have anything she wants. She doesn’t know anything about him other than where ever he runs, people continue to shoot at him. Why doesn’t she run FROM him?

        Then they jump out a window and end up in a car driven by some kid that Indy has decided to run around with. Why? Having a partner in adventure, much less a kid as a partner doesn’t fit with the image we were left from the first film. He had “associates” and friends sure but a “buddy” to run around with? No. Also,did they just meet? Have they been a team for years? No one ever explains this.
        So it had a REAL forced feel of “we’re going to create this family unit for Indy to show what an accessible family guy he is”. Sort of a family friendly, Disney-a-fied Indy.

        Okay if that is what they want.
        But then that doesn’t work with the “ripping out the heart” scene, the beating and kicking of kids scenes, the burning the dude alive scene.

        As for the kid though, given the choice I would have taken him over the girl. She was a useless appendage for this film. She had nothing Indy needed for this adventure and he had no connection to/with her. Personally, I found her antics neither cute or funny so her scenes served to simply drag down the pace of the film. Plot wise, if Indy had left her in the bar at the open (or at the airport), it wouldn’t have changed the coarse of the film’s plot a bit. It would have made it faster paced and (for me)vastly less contrived and forced.

        As for Raiders, for me it had a VERY definite genre. It was “action adventure” flat out. No forced attempts to “move you emotionally” or constant, comic side-kicks to make Indy seem “lovable”.

        I found myself wanting to fast forward through about the first half of TOD.
        I guess the analogy is that Raiders just wanted to get hot and heavy with you, right here and right NOW!
        While TOD wanted to spend about an 45 minutes cuddling and talking about your feelings first.

        • So if a film has different genres wrapped into it that means it doesn’t know what it wants to be? If that’s the case you need to tear down the original Star Wars, Iron Man, the entire Star Trek franchise,and yes the original Raiders as well. This film is a nod to the serials of the past (more so than even Raiders) – of which you had comedy, romance, action all wrapped into different portions. I didnt find any of the scenes in this film contrived. Who cares who Indy’s compatriot was? Who cares why Willie left with him (tho being a gold digging ho I’m pretty sure its because she saw a new, more flashy meal ticket in Indy).

          Don’t forget this is a prequel as well, so its not going to be the same Indy we saw in Raiders, tho I really dont think there was any Disneyfication (Disnification? Disnardiferperation?) going on here. The Indy in Raiders was molded directly from the events here.

        • Purely from memory, because I haven’t seen ToD this century, I recall that the opening musical number and action sequence were everything right about the Indy franchise. Dazzling spectacle mixed with good jokes and fun, clever, exciting action – – although granted, the poison/antidote premise was far-fetched – – right up until the boat escape on the mountain.
          The middle is a mess, but then the climactic scene on the bridge was also pure movie magic.
          There is no defense for Billy or Short Round, but they’re still both preferable to Shia LeBouf.

  16. Your crap joke for the day:

    A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. “Screw me or climb the ladder to success,” she said.

    No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. “Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success,” she said. “Well,” thought the man, “might as well carry on.”

    On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. “Screw me now or climb the ladder to success,” she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.

    On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. “Screw me here and now or climb the ladder to success,” she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.

    “Who are you?” the man asked.

    “Hello” said the ugly fat man, “I’m Cess!”

  17. From the latest Ansible:

    • True Romance Dept. ‘But then the tips of her breasts became erect on their own, and the flood in her loins washed morals, despair, and all other abstract assessments away in a cloud of some sort of divine cologne of his. Now his big generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips and maw – all this without a word.’ (Tom Wolfe, Back to Blood, 2012)

  18. Had Happy Hour with some mates last night who said “Pacific Rim” was very good. Described it as a 1950’s B movie done really well.
    I don’t know what that means but am now intrigued.

  19. In other news –
    Trying to replace my Brake, Master Cylinder. First brake line fitting came loose with no problem. 2nd one refused to budge and has now rounded off.
    My unfinished project list grows larger.
    Please feel free to insert comic book cursing HERE.

  20. Your crap joke for the evening:

    An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.
    ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
    ‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’
    ‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it, give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..’
    It wasn’t a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.
    The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’
    ‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor…
    ‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye
    and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’
    ‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘ Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’
    ‘Freakin’ jaysus, ’twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again…

    • I find it rather weird the William Hartnell was roughly the same age when he played the first Doctor.

      Make up obviously has improved over the years…

  21. Went to see the Goo Goo Dolls and Matchbox 20 last night. Both put on a good show, but Matchbox 20 were the obvious headliners with a set that cost at least 100 times more than the Goo Goo Dolls. Excellent night.

    • 45%
      Im okay with this score but I take offense to the pretentious commentary that followed.

      “You’re just “meh” with technology. One minute smugly downloading a cool new smartphone app to show off, the next staring in despair at the Microsoft Word help system to write a simple letter.”

      Im not just some wannabe, hipster chick.

  22. Last minute delayed catch up:
    Essbee: I would recommend an IPA receipe for your amber malt. considering your previously stated preferences.

    Pixie said: “and it has Joss Whedon as a writer, so how much more grimm could it be than some of the Buffy episodes?”
    You mean Joss ‘kill every beloved character’ Whedon?

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