1,116 thoughts on “Better than Facebook

  1. Our condo complex are at the very edge of the city. The complex literally backs onto farmland. Every once in a while, like today, you can smell the livestock

  2. Today’s movie is The Devil Dolls

    “These little worry dolls look too cute to be evil. But when murders start to happen, there’s a lot of worrying to do”

  3. Goddamn it, Phoenix got “Suffragette City” from Weird Al last night. For our Tuscon trip, we just got “You Really Got Me.”

  4. I’ve been back to the chiro twice now (It’s covered by insurance).

    It’s weird; he’s a cool guy who likes to shoot the shit, about my age. So it’s like I’m hanging out with a friend…. who does weird things to my body whenever we get together.

    • A ticket… what now? Box…office?

      In all honesty I am that guy who, when possiblem will only buy from a box office. Mainly cause it saves me 10-20 bucks a ticket in goddam fees

  5. Well travel insurance purchased, so apart from buying some actually dollars, i’m All set for seeing most of you in Denver and Phoenix.

    • I bought my insurance with my ticket.
      Van, does your insurance exclude “high risk activities”? I ask since a certain Texan mentioned something about skating and I’m not sure where that falls on the spectrum since it often includes falls.
      (I can’t because of other reasons but am willing to be a spectator)

  6. I’ll say it here:

    I’m fortunate to be married to a woman who’s been to hell and back with me as a stepmom, and in 3 months has proven herself to be a world class bio mom. I appreciate her mama skills every day.

    Happy Mother’s Day, Tiffany.

    • Freedom isnt free.
      There’s a hefty fucking fee
      And if you don’t put down your buck o’five who will?

      Buck o’five
      Freedom costs a buck o’five

  7. Because I’m never happy, I’m now going to complain about the heat. 28C today and 30C predicted for tomorrow. Nothing compared to AZ I know, but really unusual for May here

  8. And thanks to whoever recommended Locke & Key. The first GN in that series is excellent.

    I’m also glad I didn’t know who the author is until after I’d started reading. . . that definitely would have colored my perception.

  9. So – – question for you all – – especially those with large, diverse music catalogs:

    What are you using these days? Apple Music, Amazon, Google Play, etc? iPod? Spotify/Pandora?

  10. I enjoyed Deadpool 2.

    Be aware the although they are some sequences that play out as the credits rolling there is no sequence right at the end.

    • This is a real shame. The one off monster of the week shows were excellent this year. What really killed it was the terrible “wtf is going on” mythology eps that no one gives a good god damn about anymore. Ol Chris “Worse than Lucas” Carter needed to stick to what the fans love and want. A real shame.

      Yet we have more 24 and Prison Break to look forward to.

      Fuck that.

  11. I just booked my flight and hotel for Deadpan MMMMMeetup 2018! Yay! 😀 I will be coming in on Thursday and leaving on Sunday night. I am definitely down for both skating and watching the Deadpan Jr. Auxiliary skate. 🙂

    Re: music: They can have my iTunes library when they pry it out of my cold, dead hands. I’ve been buying so much music that way for so long that I’m reluctant to change over to a new system. That, and I care a lot about having my music files stored locally.

  12. Random comment aI saw.

    Referring to Ryan Retnolds. “Ryan really is God’s perfect little snickerdoodle.”

    What the shit!?!

  13. I really enjoyed Deadpool 2. It did not disappoint.

    And the two trailers they showed prior to the movie that were exclusive to DP2, were funny as hell.

  14. When you see the go fund me page for the husband (whonis dying of lung cancer) whose wife was working two jobs to pay for his medical bills and who was murdered in the Santa Fe shooting..that

    • It’s about making the richest richer. Compassion be damned. Everyone else be damned.

      Possibly unpopular statement ahead: I don’t know how bad it was before Reagan, but he deserves a lot of blame for the “fuck-everyone-but-the-richest” mindset in modern American culture.

  15. I looked up the recipe for snickerdoodles and I have made them. They’re just a modified sugar cookie. Really, one of the smiplest cookies you can make. I think it’s more of an insult to call someone that

  16. Oh Regan kicked all this bullshit off. Absolutely.

    Go-Fund-Me right now is the “insurance” company of choice for the American populace… because it’s all we have. I have what is considered excellent insurance and I’m being driven into the ground by med bills.

    • Well that’s good. I think I went about two books ahead of the show before season three aired. But, I found the limited POV character model the books use less engaging without the show to back it up.

      For example, Chrisjen Avasarala doesn’t appear in the book that was the basis for the first season. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t appear as a POV character again after that one book. And the priestess Anna, introduced this season as the Secretary General’s speech writer doesn’t appear until what will be the season 4 story. The TV show is telling a much richer story IMHO by giving expanded roles to several of these characters.

      I mean honestly, I can’t imagine having to make due with only one season of Shohreh Aghdashloo’s sass. Maybe I’ll find a way to get through the remaining books now.

  17. When going gaga over how much a movie makes these days, remember that when adjusted for inflation Gone With the Wind made a tidy $1,850,728,774 domestic.

  18. Yesterday hubby and I went for a walk. We both have the same model of phone, and we both had our phones in our front pants pockets.
    His phone said we walked 8.5 klicks, my phone said 5.2k. and Google Maps said the walk was about 6k.
    I’m so confused.

  19. Morning Pan
    Busy day for the Bunny today. In no particular order I plan to:
    get out newsletter
    start ebook box set
    start book layout
    laundry
    clean washrooms
    gather garbage

    With luck, I can sneak in a walk somewhere in there.

  20. I did sneak in a walk. I took the same route as yesterday, and had my phone in the same pocket. Even so, I seemed to have walked a kilometre more than yesterday

  21. The next chapter in the music delivery method saga:

    I found yesterday that 3 KMFDM songs were just gone from my iPod. Just gone. And it was the best 3! Luckily, I was able to re-upload them – – but still – – that kind of thing shakes you to your core.

    How and why did this happen? How many other songs were lost? I appreciate your consideration during this sensitive time.

    • I believe ditto posted a link to a review of her music a few months back. I ended up streaming one of her albums and it was pretty inventive. Then I realized I had seen her act as well a few times, notably in Amazon’s “Electric Sheep” and “Hidden Figures”.

  22. This is the year Ovi finally makes the finals…. only to have the cup snatched from a goddamn expansion team in Las fucking Vegas.

  23. A small dilemma. Once a month or so, I get together for lunch with a couple of others. Last time we got together, after we were done lunch, as we are going to the parking lot, one of these people mentioned he left his new dog in the car. It was 25C at the time. I commented that I didn’t like Him leaving a dog in a hot car.
    He said it was ok because he put a shade on the windshield.
    We are now talking about getting together for lunch again in a couple of weeks. (Our schedule is enough that we have to book weeks in advance) How do I say, leave the dog at home and not in a boiling car without starting a war?

    • It sounds like he won’t take a direct comment on this well. But I’d agree that it’d be better to tell him somehow ahead of time. And yeah, dogs die in hot cars every day. Would he be open to links to horrible statistics about dogs and children dying in hot cars? It happens everywhere, not just in AZ.

    • I say, “hey it would make me feel so much better if you would leave Fluffy at home this time. If you dont trust him home alone, ala Macauley Caulkin, maybe you could have a dog sitter play with him for a bit. It makes me nervous and worried to know he’s in a car. Alone. Melting. Getting deydrated. Having tachycardia. Peeing all over your seat, out of anger, etc.”

  24. Congratulations to our sweet Sophie, on her “promotion” to High School.

    Yep, we have a high schooler and an infant in the hizzzouse!

  25. Saw Solo with the teenager tonight. She liked it. I liked it. There is a big surprise that will almost definitely be spoiled for you, if you wait too long. And no post-credits scene.

  26. What I learnt today:

    If you leave out bird feeders for humming birds and live in a area that preying mantises (indigenous or non native). The mantises can get onto the feeder and will kill humming birds that get close enough to be grabbed…

  27. “It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it… anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

    Happy Towel Day.

  28. Crap joke for the day:

    Did you hear the one about the clown who donated a million dollars to charity?

    It was a really nice jester.

  29. FB repost.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/america-is-back-president-trump-tells-naval-academy-grads/ar-AAxNFVW

    It IS!!!! It’s back to:
    Profound ‘in your face’ racism and bigotry
    The subjugation of women
    Climate change denial
    The complete ignoring of unconstitutional laws
    The poor becoming poorer
    The rich becoming richer
    No middle ground
    The denial of scientific based facts like evolution

    Feel free to add more in the comments.

    ‘MERICAH IS BAAAACK BABY!!!!!!

    • True, but she doesn’t have a clue about what Philip had been doing…particularly Kimmy.

      Also, to be fair, Paige asked her mom directly about using sex as part of the craft a few episodes back and she said they didn’t do stuff like that. Elizabeth probably should have been more honest about that aspect of “the job”.

      I am curious to see how that confrontation comes into play wit the finale.

      I can’t believe the show is about to be over.

  30. Busy day! Started with Deadpool 2, which was fun – – then a visit to Mike Mennenga.

    Then ep 1 of Cobra Kai, which is funny, and far better than I expected.

    Now I finish the last book of Locke & Key. This is one where I’ve slowed my pace near the end just to make it last longer.

  31. Solo is not doing great with critics or at the box office. Personally I think it was extremely stupid to release it so soon after Last Jedi and SO soon after Avengers (for monetary reasons.) Really should have kept Star Wars films at xmas time. We’ll see but so far it’s by far the lowest rated SW film since Attack of the Clones. And btw…it’s only 5 RT points away from that.

    Let me say that again.

    Solo is only 5% better than Attack of the Clones on RT

        • Remember that the idiots have co-opted Rotten Tomatoes. They show up en masse now to give Star Wars movies bad ratings, because somehow, Star Wars has become a dipshit battleground.

          • Agreed. They ruined the Last Jedi and Black Panther audience meter but the critic meter for RT and Metacritic stood strong for both those films. This is not that. Those two films also Hulk Smashed at the box office. This is not that.

            IMO no one wants to see the iconic SW characters played by anyone else than the original actors.

          • Well there’s an interesting thought… did you feel the same about Rogue One? Do you prefer it not exist as well? For me, Rogue One is a mandatory Saga film now. I never thought I would have felt that way

          • That is an interesting distinction. Rogue One felt exciting and new, because almost nothing had been said about that mission – – to the point that many fans thought they were going to get the Bothan story.

            A big part of Han Solo’s cool is built on these bits of legend that are told throughout the films. I think seeing those on film detracts a bit from the mystique.

            Also, Rogue One is a better movie.

          • I disagree. I don’t find Rogue One to really be a better film. It has flaws too, not the least of which is a lack of characterization. Fans forgive that because they think the story is cool–which it is. I think the Solo film is quite good. And, it does a great job at an origin story for Han and Chewy. This is also the first Star Wars film where no one said, “May The Force be with you.”–which is awesome in its own right.

            It’s fine that you prefer they had not make this film, just to save Han’s mystique. I think that’s clouding your judgement of the film. But, you have a right to feel that way.

          • Oh ditto I couldn’t disagree more. What they pulled off in Rogue One was amazing, unexpected, and wonderful. There is a shit ton of characterization in the film. Especially since this is the only film we will ever see them in. So Ill take a not fully realized characterization of characters that we grow to love in an awesome film over a half assed wannabe of a beloved character that no one really wanted to see but is “cool”. This is fine, but don’t do it again. I don’t want to see a single other Star Wars Origin story. I just don’t

          • Ohhhh, they’ve only just begun. Boba Fett has already been greenlit.

            The only one I’d actually be interested in – – Obi Wan’s lost years secretly keeping Luke hidden on Tatooine, starring Ewan McGregor – – is still nothing but vaporware.

          • I would think that the pattern of Star Wars going wrong with origin stories started with the stink bombs that were Episodes 1-3. I haven’t seen Solo yet, but I can predict that my problem will be much the same as with Episodes 1-3 (where I wanted to see what made Vader turn to the dark side and become so deliciously evil, only to find that Lucas couldn’t bring himself to show a generation of children how a cute kids turns to evil and had to opt for whiny angst instead). Solo should be about what made Han into the selfish outlaw we met in Episode IV. Instead, I expect I’ll get a much more moralistic Han than I ever wanted to see.

  32. ‪ I enjoyed Solo, it was a fun action film.‬

    ‪My biggest annoyance is people saying it was unnecessary film. ‬

    ‪Hate to break it to you but no work of creativity is necessary.‬

    Food and water on the other hand..

  33. I just want to take the time to say how appreciative we all should be to be able to live this Marvel cinematic event for the past 10 years…in real time. I honestly don’t think there will be a cinematic experience like this again. It’s truly unprecedented and it’s awesome to be able to have been there from the beginning.

  34. Your crap joke for the day:

    According to Schroedinger, his pet carrier may or may not contain a cat.
    I think he was hedging his vets.

  35. And so, my internet is restored at home. We’ve been scrapping by with cell phone hot spots since Saturday. Oh, the humanity!

  36. Morning Pan
    Last night, at 2am, the alarm went off at hubby’s school. Hubby had to get up and go to the school to make sure everything was ok. Luckily, it looks like they couldn’t get in so nothing was taken. Still makes for a tired Bunny house this morning.

  37. We have this major report due to the provincial government tomorrow. My part, which was the majority of it, has been done for two weeks. Has anybody else given me what I need? No. I did ask for the stuff to be in with enough time for me to review it and make sure nothing is missed or needed before I file it. “Enough time” is apparently less than a day. *sigh*

  38. My grandmother turns 99 today. It’s really tough to talk to her now. Dementia is starting to kick her butt. For example, she knows we moved (albeit 2 years ago), but not to where or when. Every phone call includes telling her about this place. Then we will talk for about a half our where she will tell me something, then tell it to me again, then again…
    But, like a good granddaughter, I will still call her today to wish her happy birthday.
    It’s not the talking about the same thing over that’s really the issue but the obvious deterioration that bugs me when we talk. However, since she did move to BC several years ago because her health was failing and she was expecting to die, I guess she’s doing ok.

  39. I’m really bad
    Not only did I get a blizzard, which is currently in my freezer, I got a cheeseburger and onion rings too

  40. Your crap joke for the day:

    “Why can’t anyone hear pterosaurs go to the bathroom?”

    “Uh, because the ‘p’ is silent

  41. Epic comeback win tonight at the Evolution boardgame for Desert Pixie. My alpha predator strategy had her on the ropes all game, but her lesser predator got flight in the last round and wiped out half of my population. Well done!

  42. Crap joke for the day:

    Not many people know that Nelson was 5′ 6″ in real life.

    His statue in Trafalgar Square is 17′ 4″

    That’s a Horatio of around 3:1

    • Admittedly, I was apparently one of the few people on the planet who found the finale of BSG satisfying.

      That said, once I got over the shock of it all, I agree that the Americans managed a most satisfying ending. Not so much from the perspective of the characters themselves #freeoleg, but from the foreknowledge that the viewers have of what the world will be looking like for these characters a few years after the ending.

      • I was actually okay with the BSG ending. I found it a little rushed, but it seemed like all the characters ended up in a place that made sense for their background. The American’s ending wasn’t what I expected, but I give it points for that.

      • I liked the ending to BSG. Could’ve been better, could’ve been worse. And you can’t really say that it was that unexpected considering how the final season went.

  43. Watching the pilot of The Americans and i’m Left wondering why they changed the actor playing Henry so many times.

    • I mean this should be great cause he’s not fucked ANYTHING up he’s touched so far.

      *disclaimer. I don’t count him as fucking up Justice League

  44. Well The Terror was going cheap on Amazon so I bought it.

    I may even get round to actually reading one of these days.

      • I watched the whole damn thing. Not sure why though, the show was very British. Very droll with intricate dialog, artful cinematography and a plot that moves at a snail’s pace. Why did these guy’s end up freezing to death in a frozen wasteland? Hubris, lots and lots of hubris. And class struggles and shame. The moral of the story? It’s better to be a one-handed man living with the Inuit than in Victorian England.

  45. Oh hai.

    I took a couple days off in July ya know… for this thing with the people and the visiting.

    I was going to post it to the FB group but then remembered I could come here. I need to be poked to come here more often.

    Silly job that takes up all my time …

  46. “Major” publication reviews are finally coming in for Ghost’s Prequelle album. About what you’d expect. However does not a 6.1 on Pitchfork translate to a 9.5 on most other sites?

      • I’ve never been a big Ovi fan. He’s a great player, but he was too easily smothered during the playoffs. This year, however, he really lead his team *and* his team was there for him as well. So, I’m glad he’s finally got his Cup.

        • It’s great for the narrative. Ovi and Sidney Crosby are both -once-in-a-lifetime talents who joined the league in the same year, and who sparred head-to-head numerous times, but until this season, Sid had always come out on top. Now, Ovi has made the story a little more interesting.

  47. Good day tomorrow. New Dead Sara. New Zeal and Ardor. Tickets go on sale for Blood Red Shoes and Zeal and Ardor shows.

    Wallet hates me

  48. CP: Tequlia – Terrorvision

    It amuses me that the group’s most poppy of songs is the first song you see when you look the group up n Spotify.

  49. Baby crashed s little early tonight.

    Due to:

    A) 107 degrees outside
    B) playing in her jumparoo
    C) teething
    D) tummytime
    E) all of the above

  50. So, an old, white guy walks into the Subway (sandwich shop) and asks the workers if they have change for a $100bill. They say no. He thens asks the male customer if he has change. That guy says no. He boldly ignores me and the other woman in the shop and walks out, bummed he couldn’t get change.

    I felt very fucking offended he didn’t even bother to ask me or the other woman.

    • I need to send an email to the group about our weekend itinerary. We have some unexpected – but great – obligations, but I also have ideas for group activities, in the sweltering July doom.

  51. Today’s Audible (US) daily deal is Alfred Bester’s The Stars my Destination.

    Well worth picking up if you want dip into the golden age of scifi.

    Personally I prefer The Demolished Man but this is good.

  52. Decided to reinstall DEFCON, spent a pleasant evening nuking south east Asia and getting eyestrain reading the very small on screen text.

  53. Your crap joke for the day:

    A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple’s house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

    “What are you doing?” she asked.

    “I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

    “But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

    “This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

    “Love dress? But you’re naked!”

    “Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy.”

    The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.

    Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.

    “What are you doing?” he asked.

    “This is my love dress,” she replied.

    “Needs ironing,” he says” “What’s for dinner?”

        • There are differences between the xenophobia of Hitler, Trump, your aunt Helga, yourself as a teenager, Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Richard O’Brien, and Einstein. Those people should not all be lumped together.

          • There were some people who did not feel that way about Asians even in Einistein’s time.

            There is no excuse for xenophobia no matter how much you have contributed to science.

          • You’re 100% right. I should have also said: this is still incredibly disappointing. I think Thomas Jefferson did amazing things for humanity, but also said some horrible things about his fellow human beings.

  54. I’ve ordered Catcher in the Rye for next to nothing. I hope it’s readable. It’s been *cough* years since I read it the first time.

    Does anyone want to go in on this middle-aged revisit of teen angst with me?

  55. I was suppose to have a meeting this morning but it was cancelled. So I decided to clean my house. Not sure the connection but there you go

  56. Baby has joined me for an afternoon at the hair salon. Im doing some much-needed hair maintenance, plus a new fun ‘Do. She has been fantastic, while we both sit in chairs for several hours.

    She has also been entetaining the other salon guests and hairstylists with her cuteness and her zest for bouncing in her bouncer.

    • I guess we’re getting old and unhip. As you say it, I can see it. But I never would have figured that out without prompting.

    • Note: I recognize that for some families, this is how it goes every night. And for many families, no A/C would just mean a night (nights) of discomfort and some health risk til it got fixed or the weather cooled off, even with a baby, even in Heat Miser County, AZ. I recognize that we’re fortunate in some ways. I complain with the bigger picture in view.

  57. Star Wars releases at the box office adjusted for inflation:

    1 Star Wars $1,307,443,600
    2 Star Wars: The Force Awakens $990,334,300
    3 Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace $777,004,400
    4 Return of the Jedi $741,807,800
    5 The Empire Strikes Back $722,378,100
    6 Star Wars: The Last Jedi $619,169,000
    7 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story $553,645,200
    8 Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith $543,413,200
    9 Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones $476,432,300
    10 Star Wars (Special Edition)$275,913,300
    11 Solo: A Star Wars Story BV $183,764,100
    12 The Empire Strikes Back (Special Edition) $134,900,900
    13 Return of the Jedi (Special Edition) $90,742,700
    14 Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (in 3D) $50,254,200
    15 Star Wars (Re-issue) $48,218,600
    16 Star Wars: The Clone Wars $44,857,900
    17 The Empire Strikes Back (Re-issue) $41,364,100 11/19/82
    18 Return of the Jedi (Re-issue) $29,033,600
    19 Attack of the Clones: The IMAX Experience (IMAX) $13,338,800

    • Check out the grainy, shaky cam cideo of each of the four performances from the ice show today. Footage provided by the CIA circa 1967.

      (Well Desert Pixie on FB)

  58. Because I’m me, and I start vibrating if things aren’t done NOW, I’m sending out an email. I understand there’s still several weeks before the mmmeetup so feel free to ignore it. A lot of people who know me tend to do that, until it’s closer to deadline date

        • Me either. Right now my condo association is trying to figure out how to deal with it as, like me, not everybody wants to deal with the smell. Calgary has said it is not allowed in multi-unit housing. We’re hoping Airdrie will do something similar so it solves our problem for us.

          • You’d be surprised. Smell has never really been a big issue here save for the plants themselves at the greeneries.

            Plus just because it’s legal now doesnt mean user numbers are going to jump.

          • Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with treating it the same as alcohol. As far as plants, current proposed legislation allows for personal plant growth (I think it’s only one or two plants per household). And I don’t expect a major spike. However, we now live in attached housing. All it takes is one home to partake and it will make it through the ventilation of the other five houses. That’s why Calgary has decided not to allow it.
            I think it’s a bit like cigarette smoke, I’m more sensitive to it because I don’t partake.

          • I don’t partake either. I don’t enjoy the ritual, and I get nothing out of it. Still – – I’m good with responsible legalization.

            I admit, I hadn’t considered the close quarters part of it. That could be a challenge with stinky neighbors.

    • I had to look up Zimmer Frames. It translates to “walkers,” for all of us Yanks, which makes it a pretty good joke.

      And I loved the first Ip Man, but I wasn’t aware that there was even a part 3, to allow for a 4.

  59. A shit load of crap jokes for you today:

    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
    ‘No,’ she answered.
    I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’

    She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
    So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

    And that’s when the fight started…

    ________________________________

    I took my wife to a restaurant.

    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

    “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
    He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
    “Nah, she can order for herself.”

    And that’s when the fight started…..

    _____________________________

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
    reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
    drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, “Do you know him?”
    “Yes”, she sighed,
    “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
    right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
    hasn’t been sober since.”

    “My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?”

    And then the fight started…

    ________________________________

    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
    making beer.. Always something more important to me.

    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
    scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
    the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
    I handed her a toothbrush.

    I said, “When you finish cutting the
    grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

    _____________________________

    My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, “What’s on TV?”
    I said, “Dust.”

    And then the fight started…

    ________________________________

    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
    boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
    downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
    would be bad all day.

    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back;
    now with a different anticipation,
    and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

    My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

    And that’s how the fight started…

    _______________________________

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”

    I bought her a bathroom scale.

    And then the fight started……

    ______________________________

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
    for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

    for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

    and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

    I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

    The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

    She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, ‘You should have dropped
    your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’

    And then the fight started…

    ________________________________

    My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

    She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
    “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
    to pay me a compliment.’

    I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

    And then the fight started……..

    ________________________________

    I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a REALLY bad day!

    The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
    He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’
    So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’

    That’s how the fight started.

    ________________________________

    One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
    as a Christmas gift…

    The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
    When she asked me why, I replied,
    “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

    And that’s how the fight started…..

  60. So, we’re caught up on Doctor Who. Capaldi’s final season, including the regeneration episode, featured some of the best Doctor Who episodes of the modern era. He was a truly great Doctor, and it’s a shame he’ll never be held in the same regard as the handsome ones.

    Also – – David Bradley (Filch, Walder Frey) needs his own spinoff series as the original Doctor.

  61. Got my “good” condition Catcher in the Rye paperback from some shitty Amazon reseller.
    Its previous owner, Kareem, has added notes and underlines on almost every page. The spine is coming unglued, so it’s probably not going to survive a single reading. The book barely cost anything, but it was still money wasted. I’ll just find it at B&N or a readable copy at the used bookstore.

  62. Today s movie is called Satanic
    The write up: four college kids heading to Coachells can’t resist a detour to some occult true crime sites that could derail their trip… and their lives

    They were only chasing a little fun and some seriously weird crime. Until the creepy fun turned horrific.

  63. Wow. ‘Solo’ would have fit nicely on the CW Wed nights right between Supergirl and The Originals.

    Fun. Thin. Forgettable. Unfortunate.

  64. Pasting parts of a message I received earlier:

    I wanted you to know, if you didn’t know:
    I just heard from Michelle that Dan suffered an emergency last Monday and is in ICU. He suffered what is most easily compared to a stroke, but not a stroke. Recovery is similar. All of his projects have to be put on hold. If you would like to help out, please send a card to him at the hospital. It will help to hear people’s names and small sentences to remind him of things. He’s a fighter, and he will get through this, but it will take time. His wife and family are with him and thank you in advance for any cards you send.


    Feel free to ping me in email for his room number and hospital address.

  65. My dentist sent me a reminder. Apparently I have an appointment two days before I leave. I’ll have shiny teeth for the Mmmmeetup. 😉

  66. Me: I’m a rational person

    Me: I can use Avios points to book an aisle seat earlier

    Me: But if I did that what if I jinx catching the flight

    Me: fuck!!!!!

  67. Have now seen Increadables 2.
    Fun.
    Got noticeably slow in places. Didn’t have the “James Bond Movie” feel of the original.

    On its own merits though, worth a Matinee price … maybe even full price. Wouldn’t buy the DVD though.

    Oh … and there is bonus credit sequence material but it is audio.

  68. Harlan Ellison has finally died. I never met him, but did experience him once. I walked into a Westercon lobby – maybe 2005? – and someone was yelling and throwing a tantrum. I was thrilled to see that it was Harlan Ellison, and that he lived up to my expectations. RIP

    • Although from what I’ve heard and having seen the Connie Willis getting groped video I can’t disagree with an author I follow on twitter who tweeted:

      Harlan Ellison is gone. He was a master of his craft and probably a literary genius. He was also a mean, vicious, abusive misogynist. So, goodbye Harlan. You asshole.

  69. With all that the Mangans have going on right now, I have not been able to properly let my emotions show related to DS.

    Tears are flowing in my mind.
    Memories zoom by my closed eyes .
    Smiles run across my blank face.
    Sadness overtakes me.

  70. Or I gotta Pan

    Yesterday hubby calmed home with a box of Guinness from a teacher, which I’m not a fan of, and a bottle of red wine from a parent, which I can’t drink. Then, when watching tv, he pulled out some Bugles to snack on, which I’m indifferent to. I spent the evening playing the martyr.

  71. I’m in Cumbria, the air was smoky from a recently put out fire (which had delayed the train by an hour).

    Scottish Borders and the midges await me.

  72. My first trip to White Castle in 11 years. They screwed up the order, so that remains consistent – – but alas, the food was also terrible. I’m blaming the location – – but is it possible that I’ve changed??

  73. Crap joke for the day:

    Lady Guinevere was well known for liking weapons, but she did have her favourite. She loved her lance a lot.

Leave a Reply to Ed from Texas Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *