1,081 thoughts on “Am I Evil? Kickstarter is LIVE

  1. So, instead of death and taxes on this April 15th, the only things certain are a new Deadpan page and that Jack will be publishing new content.

  2. So after watching the first Episode of HBO’s new series ‘Run‘, I’m left hoping the toilets on US trains are cleaner than UK trains.

    • He was just so hatable in First Blood, before Rambo became self-parody. That defined most of his career for me. Great, great actor. RIP.

  3. Halfway through Locke & Key. Digging it. The keys are just brilliant. My sieve brain has already forgotten a lot of details of the graphic novels, so that helps.

  4. A couple of our books have two covers, one for the e-version, one for the print. The boss asked me to change the website on those books to reflect the two covers.
    I made changes.
    She wanted it different.
    Unfortunately, she can’t tell me what she wants. It’s one of those “I don’t know what I want but I’ll know it when I see it” kind of things.
    Looks like it’s going to be a day of fiddling.

  5. As a rule, I do not ask my medical providers for political or financial advice.

    Conversely, I would NEVER take medical advice from politicians or financial advisors.
    Certainly not when my family’s life or mine is on the line.

      • From a Canadian perspective, your system was broken before the last election. Unless you can get your house and senate to start working together, You’ll always have a broken system.

        • To dig deeper-
          I think I system broke when the US society tipped over into a “leisure time”’society.
          We became pre-occupied with being entertained. Put to much societal value on “fun”.
          The result is a society that can’t be bothered to get involved in it’s own governing. For the majority of us, that sort of thing is not “fun” and in fact is “work”.
          So we get willing to hold
          Our collective noses at an increasingly stinky outcome as long as “government” just keeps running itself and leaves us be.

          … and here we are.

        • When all the other developed nations were opting for a single-payer system, American doctors lobbied hard against it. Now we have lobbyists for doctors, insurance companies, drug companies, and lawyers who all have a vested interest in keeping the system as is. As great as a single-payer system could be, the reality is it would mean a pay cut to all those listed above and they are well funded to oppose change. The best path forward would be a planned, gradual phase-in of a single-payer system over a 10 year period. But most likely the system will have to fail completely and then be rebuilt for things to change.

        • Yes. There are other broken parts in the engine, but yes.

          Our choices are between a likely molester and the confirmed molester who currently holds the big seat. That’s all the evidence you need that the system is broken.

    • I love “Criminal” but this is a little too “art-house-ee” for my taste. 3 songs in and I lost interest, but I’m sure the mainstream Apple fans will dig it.

      • Same here. Sadly. I recently read an article blasting men for not digging her later records. I. . . . fully love her vision, but the only music of hers that I truly love was from “Apple.”

        But goddamn, it had nothing to do with her attractiveness or that MTV sexed her up – – I really loved all of the songs on that album. Just brilliant stuff.

        • You know I absolutely loved that first album. Was crazy about it before I had ever seen her. I just mathew led
          At how someone so young could sing with so much soul.
          Then I finally saw her do a live performance on MTV and she was terrible. Couldn’t hardly stay on pitch. It’s possible she was drunk or stoned but it was really disappointing.
          I went back and listened to that album after that and I realized she IS very pitchy. That the genius of that album may have actually been the producer.
          I still will occasionally listen to That album and enjoy it by forcing myself not to listen to closely … but I never made an effort to follow her after that.

  6. Crap joke for the day:

    As we enter the next 3 weeks of lock down here is a summary of the advice:

    1. You MUST NOT leave the house for any reason, but if you have a reason, you can leave the house

    2. Masks are useless at protecting you against the virus, but you may have to wear one because it can save lives, but they may not work, but they may be mandatory, but maybe not

    3. Shops are closed, except those shops that are open

    4. You must not go to work but you can get another job and go to work

    5. You should not go to the Drs or to the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you are too poorly to go there

    6. This virus can kill people, but don’t be scared of it. It can only kill those people who are vulnerable or those people who are not vulnerable. It’s possible to contain and control it, sometimes, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster

    7. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help so wear them sometimes, or not

    8. STAY HOME, but it’s important to go out

    9. The virus has no effect on children except those children it affects

    10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

    11. You will have many symptoms if you get the virus, but you can also get symptoms without getting the virus, get the virus without having any symptoms or be contagious without having symptoms, or be non contagious with symptoms…

    12. It’s important to get fresh air but don’t go to parks but go for a walk. But don’t sit down, except if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant or if you’re not old or pregnant but need to sit down. If you do sit down don’t eat your picnic

    13. Don’t visit old people but you have to take care of the old people and bring them food and medication

    14. If you are sick, you can go out when you are better but anyone else in your household can’t go out when you are better unless they need to go out

    15. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but they can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver

    16. You are safe if you maintain the safe social distance when out but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance

    17. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours … or four hours… six hours… I mean days, not hours… But it needs a damp environment. Or a cold environment that is warm and dry… in the air, as long as the air is not plastic

    18. Schools are closed so you need to home educate your children, unless you can send them to school because you’re not at home. If you are at home you can home educate your children using various portals and virtual classrooms, unless you have poor internet, or more than one child and only one computer, or you are working from home. Baking cakes can be considered maths, science or art. If you are home educating you can include household chores to be education. If you are home educating you can start drinking at 10am

    19. The number of corona related deaths will be announced daily but we don’t know how many people are infected as they are only testing those who are almost dead to find out if that’s what they will die of… the people who die of corona who aren’t counted won’t be counted

    20. You should stay in lock down until the virus stops infecting people but it will only stop infecting people if we all get infected so it’s important we get infected and some don’t get infected

    21. No business will go under due to Corona virus except those businesses that will have already gone under.

  7. So apparently some too trump aide is comparing the dimwits storming the US capitols to Rosa Parks and I can’t even with this species.

      • Some tool.

        The press shouldn’t even be covering these puppets.
        The represent a tiny percent of less than a fractional percent of the electorate.
        … and the counter protestors who represent the ACTUAL US citizen, are being responsible and social
        Distancing … SO YOU WILL NOT SEE THEM ON TV!
        On the other hand, these deplorable represent a problem that will probably self correct itself in an incubation period of 10 to 14 days.

    • You know that part in the movie where it gets quiet and the people trapped in the room say “maybe it’s gone” and “we should go out and see”…
      …and the whole audience is thinking, “YOU IDIOTS! IT’S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR!!!!”

      Yeh. That’s where we are in this horror story.

    • I will also say this, though – – and I’m absolutely open to counter arguments:

      I get the temptation to spend time with your isolation crew/family at the beach, especially if you live in an oceanside town.

      I’m not talking about going and joining in on beach volleyball or walking a boardwalk or letting your kid play with other kids in the surf. If the beach isn’t crowded, then social distancing of 20 feet or more would be safe and easy. I know that you can’t control what other people do, but I suspect you wouldn’t have assholes come and invade your space.

      The above would obviously require light crowds. If there were lots of other beachgoers there, then don’t even park the car. Just keep going.

      This is a disagreement-safe zone. Tell me I’m wrong, if you disagree. (It’s moot for me anyway. The nearest beach is 5 hours away)

      • So there is the rub.
        If humans could act responsibly and humanly … there is no reason why we couldn’t keep most things open. Reasonable, sane people would give each other space and be careful not to infect each other.
        So you’re right. Uncrowded beaches and parks and stuff would be safe
        Except that brings us back to our reality. Have you SEEN the people who are demanding to be exposed to the virus?
        Do they appear to be sane, rational or humane?
        Those people are pathologically unable to play nice.
        … and while they are far from being a majority, the few have always had the ability to ruin things for the many.

  8. In Celestial News –

    Seems Betelgeuse is NOT about to explode .
    Back in late 2019 astronomers noticed the Star had suddenly faded in brightness getting people who follow such things pretty excited.
    By February though, it had brightened again. Observations also showed that it has not dimmed in a uniform manor (darker on the bottom) and the darkness is across ALL spectrum of emissions which is more consistent with something being between us and the star.
    Through process of elimination they have decided that Betelgeuse emitted a great puff of dust, something stars like that tend to do.

    Source sciencenews.org April 11

  9. Morning Pan
    Good some good news yesterday. A specialist I’ve been waiting a year for but then was cancelled because the world ended is going to do a telephone consult with me next week.
    Not quite the same as in person, and I’m not sure how we’ll deal with the testing I know will need to be done but, hey, better than the nothing I was expecting.

  10. We’ve started watching Tales from the Loop on Amazon. Only saw the first two episodes so far.
    Really good but also quite heavy and tugs at your heartstrings.

    • My 2-second hot take: forget about our incompetent government responses and alllllll the ways they’ve failed us for a minute: the big cities have the highest amount of throughput from international travelers. It’s just natural for *anything* to take hold faster in those hubs. It was no surprise that Seattle was the first spot that COVID-19 appeared in the US.

      Unfortunately, this gives agenda-based media the opportunity to convince their main audience in Bumbletown, Middle of Nowhere USA that this is all librull big cityfolk telling lies to disgrace the orange-skinned lord and savior.

  11. So, if you happen to find yourself on a bike in Houston, I’ve spent the last couple of days assembling a map of all the Bike Tags that my fellow Houston cyclists have put down so far.


    Each location include the picture that was taken to “tag” a spot. Next rider who finds the tagged location then rides somewhere else and sets up a new tag. Definitely some interesting sights around town, even more than I and my riding buddies had already come across.

  12. In this serious situation (my diminished wealth, not the pandemic), I’m willing to take risks (not for myself, for you) to make the economy (my bank account) strong again.

    The things that matter most in life (my money) are worth dying (you, not me) to protect. Great losses (of your lives, not my finances) are sometimes necessary to maintain a high quality of life (for me).

    • Well, you’re in luck then.

      In just (if something that’s never happened before – a vaccine for a human coronavirus is successful) 18 (to 24 maybe 36 months?) we’ll have been able to vaccinate everyone….then you’ll be morally justified in leaving your house for the first time.

      Oh, except that, at best the vaccine will probably be about 50% effective so, you’ll still be willing to let half of those who’ve avoided exposure die. But hey, it’s only money we’re talking about, right?

      • https://www.businessinsider.com/anderson-cooper-las-vegas-mayor-cnn-interview-2020-4

        That’s not an attack on you, Ed. There are people out there who have studied the science, as well as people who have made careers of studying the long history of pandemics. I’ve worked with some of them. The good ones have zero political agenda.

        When it comes to saving lives, I’ll stick with their recommendations, based on proven science and history, however inconvenient. I will not listen to people with their own personal or political agendas.

        When it comes to finances, I won’t go to disease experts, I’ll again choose people who have proven money expertise and no political agenda.

        “Moral superiority” has nothing to do with my take on the irresponsible words and directives coming from people like that Las Vegas mayor or your Lt. Governor. “Innocent people will die, but oh well” is Bond movie villain speak.

        • And to contradict myslef a bit: this person is not a disease expert (she’s a mathematician), but there’s a lot of rational logic in her suggestions:
          A lot to absorb, and again – – if Dr. Fauci or Dr. LJ Tan contradicted her, I’d believe them over her.

          Also, for the record: nothin’ but love for Ed. If Ed and I are in public arguing about this sometime in 2021, and someone gets aggressively in his face, I’m punching them out, not Ed.

          . . . . OK, I’m actually hiding under the table if punches are thrown. But you get the point.

          • Hmmm, apparently the Illuminati or the Girl Scouts or the NRA doesn’t want me to see that link. Keep getting an error back from the site. Maybe the Florida Orange Growers doing DDOS her.

            Here you go providing something thoughtful for me to check out and the site appears to have crashed.

  13. OMG people.
    All large summer events have been cancelled by our minister of health. I’m fine with that. However, you can tell those who aren’t. On the Facebook group of one of the events I attend (not the Stampede which has also been cancelled), a person complained about “Dr. Doom” pulling the plug on something that will happen in a few months.
    Luckily, this person is in the minority. Most everybody else agrees this is a good idea.
    *sigh* People are silly.

  14. So yesterday I watched Wrinkle in Time (missed it at the cinema) and well it was ok.

    Giant Oprah couldn’t save it from being ok.

  15. Morning Pan
    Hubby and I were talking this morning and I think, tonight, we’re going to switch sides of the bed.
    I’m telling you, it’s complete anarchy in the bunny house.

  16. I have to confess when Ed does a Facebook post about one of his bike rides with RT, I keep wondering if it’s the folk singer with the same name..

  17. Desert Pixie has put on an episode of David Chang’s latest food show. . . It’s basically him and Seth Rogen smoking weed and laughing while wandering around Vancouver.

  18. So I’m watching Martyn Joseph (singer/songwriter I see every year in concert) do a live concert via Facebook Live.

    Bloody great.

  19. Morning Pan
    We were on line playing D&D with some friends and hubby’s computer died. Apparently his C drive decided to stop working. Because it’s still under warranty we took it in to be fixed. I guess everybody is on their computers because they said they were very busy and it could be as much as a week just to install the new drive and re-install Windows

        • It depends on a huge number of things. This is a massive simplification, but as I understand it, it takes a lot of work and money to grow crops. Plus the crops pull nutrients from the soil. If the farmers are going to take a massive loss to try and sell a crop to a market that isn’t there, then tilling it back into the soil will add nutrients for next year’s crop and reduce the fertilizer they have to add. The farmers will likely not need additional farm hands to help either.

          Dairy farmers have to dump milk because they can’t store it. They have to milk the cows every day. That is something they can’t avoid, but with no market to sell the milk, the only choice is to dump it.

          There are probably hundreds of thousands of family farms in this country. Farmers often make very little money. Now, when the market has cratered, the only help they have gotten is the payroll protection loans and that has been a challenge to get. They need just as much help as restaurant owners and small businesses.

          Our food market is going to be very different next year, I expect.

        • Also, keep in mind, farmers don’t distribute food. They sell it. There are a lot of companies involved in the commodity market. And, there is often not room to stock pile unprocessed goods. So, there has been reduced buying because of that, but mostly because of reduced demand by restaurants, etc. So, even if the price isn’t bad, if no one is buying an shipping, farmers are still screwed.

          But prices have greatly dropped. Live cattle for instance has dropped from over $120/lb to $84/lb; corn from about $390/bu to $314/bu; and soy from about $960/bu to $839/bu. Those might not look like huge amounts, but it is more than enough to push many farmers deep into the red.

          • Seriously – – that has opened my eye a bit.

            I hope that the corporate gigantors and the farming industry can find creative ways to deal with some of that daily excess production, so we’re not simply destroying and discarding food and resources, while also facing a potential shortage.

            Also noted: I saw a headline today that the trump admin has ordered Tyson food plants to remain open. I’m confident that the rump administration will mishandle it, but from a high level, this seems like the right call. Just put protections in place for those workers inside the factories.

          • I guarantee that the farmers hate doing this more than anyone. You don’t do farming to make money. It’s a passion or a family tradition. The farm mega-corporations are a different story, obviously.

            There are a lot of reasons why the midwest and farmers are pissed off at the rest of the country. They are tired of being marginalized, ignored, and getting very little help when they need it.

        • Lost in all this… Early this spring I remember reading an article saying that farmers of certain crops couldn’t harvest them from the fields because trump’s harassment of foreigners at the border had made access to legal, seasonal migrant workers nearly impossible to come by.

  20. Hubby says, the way my hair is growing in, I’m starting to look like Velma from Scooby Doo.
    I can’t decide if I’m flattered or insulted

    • Maybe it’s because you were on all fours?

      Looking for your glasses, I meant! Velma’s always crawling around on the floor, looking for her glasses. Sheesh.

  21. Due to a number of recent mass outbreaks of coronavirus at several meat and poultry packing plants, trump has declared these as essential industries and issued an order that protective gear be made available to all plant workers and plants immediately have access to Covid-19 testing.
    Oh wait… That’s in a different timeline.

    In our timeline, Trump has simply ordered that the plants must stay open.

      • Ha! It is not. Actually, it’s earlier than usual. While I always change my tires in late April, it’s known you don’t plant anything until mid-May as anything you plant before then is very likely to freeze or get snowed on

  22. Lockdown lingo:

    The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.

    Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

    *Blue Skype thinking*
    A work brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium”. Naturally, they are to be avoided if at all possible.

    *Le Creuset wrist*
    It’s the new “avocado hand” – an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

    As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

    *Furlough Merlot*
    Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

    An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.

    *The elephant in the Zoom*
    The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

    *Quentin Quarantino*
    An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

    *Covidiot* or *Wuhan-ker*
    One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.

    The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

    *Antisocial distancing*
    Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

    *Coughin’ dodger*
    Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

    Extra make-up applied to “make one’s eyes pop” before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

    The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”.

    …and finally: One sentence to sum up 2020, so far: At one point this week, 1 loo roll was worth more than a barrel of crude oil!

  23. Today’s bit of data you may not want to know…
    You know how bad they say Covid in Georgia has gotten?
    Well death rate is worse than is being reporting. My neighbor’s daughter is an intern in a Hospital in Rome, Ga. she reports that patients who are brought in and not deemed not likely to survive are NOT being given Covid-19 tests because there just aren’t enough tests to go around.

    Since they haven’t received the “official” test, state doesn’t count them as having died from the virus.

  24. No jinxes, but I may have gotten some very good news today.
    Not related to AIE, but other big situations. I haven’t exhaled yet. . .

  25. Had not realised the animated Mulan was released 22 years ago.

    Watched it last night, as good as I remembered it being.

  26. Uggghhh. Up til 5. Not doing cool stuff, just covidsomnia. I’m lucky to have a great partner who covers for me when I need to sleep in.

  27. Happy birthday, Van! Woop it up! Safely and responsibly!
    There’s some “Robert” guy on Facebook who also shares your birthday. He seems a little strange, but nice enough.

  28. Happy birthday, JustaJoe! Woop it up! Safely and responsibly!
    There’s some “Robert” guy on Facebook who also shares your birthday. He seems a little strange, but nice enough.

    Oh shit, I seem to have gotten you both the same birthday card. How embarrassing.

    • I dunno, the “Age” lasted what, all of two weeks from Ultron’s creation to destruction? I don’t think this one translated out of the comic page very well.

      • Ultron tried to start an Age, so the title gets a pass, IMHO.

        It’s good. Some memorable jokes, good action, important MCU events occur.

        Lower tier for MCU movies though, for sure.

  29. Bad Boys for life …
    Don’t. Just don’t.
    So much doesn’t happen.
    It’s been a while since I watched a movie that I just wanted to end. Yet it keeps going on.

  30. May 4 – – the anniversary of the death of Adam Yauch, aka MCA.

    We just watched the Beastie Boys Story on Apple TV. Definitely entertaining and pretty well done.

  31. It’s the 4th of May. 4th id May. Star Wars fucking begins today. So call up your favorite Vader, or at least your favorite Leia.

    • You know, Neil Gaiman occupies this weird place in my mind. I’m only somewhat acquainted with his works, the first issue of Sandman and the American Gods series. I’ve talked at length with Geoffry Notkin, the Meteorite Man at Mike’s house and he was a childhood friend of Neil. He played bass in a punk band that Neil was a part of. When Teresa and I ran into him at Phoenix Comicon a few years later he had produced a movie about Neil. It is sad about his relationship, but I end up thinking more about the people around him than the man himself.

      • I never knew that the Meteorite Man was an old friend of Neil’s.

        Ryah has met him. He certainly seems like a sweet, charming guy. And he has written some great stuff. I highly recommend the Sandman books and Good Omens – – co-written with Terry Pratchett.

  32. Crap joke for the day:

    While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

    Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, “Are you okay?

    As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for.
    “I’m okay I think.” I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

    She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

    “That’s nice of you,” I answered, “But I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”

    “Oh, come now, I’m a nurse,” she insisted. “I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”

    Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

    We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”

    Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile. “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

    “My guess is that she’s still in the ditch.”

  33. From my sister-

    I went in to Target Monday and passed by two women( maybe late 50’s, no masks) bitterly complaining that they couldn’t try on clothes. Then one said “we probably shouldn’t be handling everything”( they were looking at earrings) and the other said” if they don’t want people to touch them they should cover it all up. I’m going to touch everything”

    This was prompted by my other sister who sent us the following warning-

    FYI everyone. I have a client who works in a Dr’s office. She just emailed me to tell me that they had “several” cases of Covid19 come into the office THIS morning, (needless to say we are postponing her apt). Its still out there you guys!

  34. OK, how the fuck do I send money to someone in Canada? The postal service has lost the check. . . . And fuck PayPal.

    Fustrated? Oh, a tad. . .

  35. So I finally got around to watching the original
    Tron. It was better than Tron Legacy, low bar I know.

    Although dated, some of the CGI was still impressive, like the light bikes and the tanks. But I did wonder how the actors could keep a straight face in the computer with those silly costumes.

    • I HAD THIS!
      I got it for my birthday and was so colossally disappointed because I wanted a REAL pong, TV video game … and then … I played with it and it was actually kind of fun to play.
      I wonder if I still have that somewhere?

  36. CW: Tron Legacy

    The deaging CGI is pretty crude..2010 seems so long ago.

    That fucking British actor Is playing a bad guy..AGAIN!!!!

  37. 5 o’clock
    Finished putting a coat of paint on my cabinet project so I got a beer and climbed up in a tree house.
    So there.
    I also fixed the zip line while I was up here.
    So … not totally useless.

  38. I used to love the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers and was really excited about someone making an animated series out of it. I was also excited that it has quality people like John Goodman. I was really excited… right up until the part in the description where the mysteriously wake up in modern times. Blech. I watched the mini episode and it was complete and utter shit. Way to destroy a fantastic piece of my youth.


  39. Well, I have reached (almost) worst case scenario… I have to go to the DMV.

    I had planned on going last month but the DMV has been closed for six weeks. Now my license is expired and I am out of options.

    Gather my mask and gloves and practice my Zen.

    • That’s interesting, the DMV here so far doesn’t have a planned date to reopen for the public. So far, they are focusing limited resources to support licensing for commercial drivers.

      For the rest of us, we’re just coasting. The one impact is that I’m not in a position to get my son a learner’s permit.

    • I need to add my motorcycle rating and get my traveler’s thing squared away. Seems like something I should be able to do online, but probably not.

    • So I punted.
      The socially distanced line was out the door and into the parking lot, (which they had cordoned off) and it was raining.

      This was a country song I had no interest in being a part of.

      A search on-line shows that I should have a 60 day grace period. I just have to hit that sweet spot between when they finally catch up and when the next wave makes it too dangerous.

    • Once again, im reminded of how out of touch with video games I am. The only ones I really knew anything about were the ones related to NES games. And Undertale.

    • Agreed – I know almost none of those games. Personally I think it’s cheating to slot a position (actually most of them) to a game series.

      Also, without the original Wing Commander (and Wing Commander 2) anywhere to be found on this list, much less not at #1, means this is seriously fake news. Not to mention the first couple of Warcraft games, those were some truly ground breaking pieces of gaming music that are probably older than whatever punk thought they had the right to compile such a list.

      of all time, my ass.

    • Yeah, seems to be verified. 🙁

      The guy was a self-parody for most of our lives – – but so so so so so important to music history, black history, and LGBTQ+ history. RIP

  40. My lovely husband insists on doing the grocery shopping. My husband doesn’t cook though, so sometimes he veers from my shopping list when he doesn’t understand what I ask for.
    This morning before going out, he looked at the list. I decided I want to roast a chicken this week so I put whole chicken on the list. He looks at it and goes, I don’t even know what that is or where I would find it in the store.
    I admit, I laughed at him.
    Let’s see what I get when he comes home
    (For context, we usually get chicken breasts, not the entire chicken)

  41. We watched Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows last night, which I’d never seen. I actually like it much better than the first. It’s kindof a shame they stopped at 2. I can’t help but to compare to Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, which is unfortunate, because RDJ is really good in the role, he’s just not Benedict.

    Martin Freeman is always excellent, but Jude Law is probably a better fit for the classic Watson character, as written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

    This Moriarty, played by Jared Harris, is much better. IMHO. Sure, he was fun in the show too, but a bit too over-the-top with the crazypants.

  42. I’m standing in a line about 30 people deep of carry out orders at the Italian restaurant. About 1 in 4 of us has a mask. Not much distancing. Rolling the dice with other peoples lives.

    • For those following along at home:

      I was there for 1 hour waiting for my to-go food. FIne, it’s Mother’s Day. I should have been expecting that kind of thing. It’s fine. I’d say about 25% total of the many patrons who came and went wore masks, and none of the staff did.

      The worst part was when other customers started getting cranky and yelling at each other. Luckily, it didn’t progress any further than that.

  43. Ok. So has anyone else noticed the three-winged transport ship with the smiley face front in the Clone Wars show? Anakin has flown it a few times, but not frequently.

    It looks like an early model of the stolen imperial transport ship that our heroes use to fly to Endor in ROTJ – – just with a smiley face grill. Anyone?

    • We actually don’t watch a lot of TV. Of that list I’ve only seen two in their entirety. Some of them I’ve see a few complete seasons, some only the occasional episode, most not at all.

    • Ha, I say! Ha!

      A quote from the article: “I was six years old when “Six Feet Under” first aired so it’s safe to say I missed its original run.”

      A few of those I’ve seen. . . of the rest, there are 1 or 2 that I’d personally consider tackling.

    • As with all lists, ymmv. Some I’ve watched, some I haven’t, some I am completely uninterested in, and some I don’t agree belong on the list.

    • lmfao.
      Yeah, that is a pretty interesting game. I’m not sure how familiar you are with the genre it is lampooning, but it still has its funny moments regardless.

  44. A friend’s brother is a Gastroenterologist in Florida. Florida has decided elective surgeries are back on so he had 30 colonoscopies scheduled for today.
    Regardless of what the state said, his hospital made all 30 take coronavirus tests. Although none of them were showing symptoms… Three tested positive. So there you go.

  45. So I’ve been mum on this, but today was my first day at a new day job. It was actually a very good move anyway. . . every single thing about the company and role is an improvement over the last place.

    So there you go – – some good news!

  46. Crap joke for the day:

    Just arrived home after seeing a good friend take his last breath, I was honoured to have been there at the end. This was a man when had dodged a snipers bullet in the Falklands, had survived many armed patrols in Northern Ireland. A man who had walked away from a high speed motorbike crash. At the hospital, just before he went, he beckoned me toward him, he couldn’t speak due to the pipes and tubes that were attached to him so I moved closer as he pointed at his mouth. I said I didn’t know what he wanted and asked if he could write, he nodded vigorously so I passed him some paper from his bedside cabinet and took the pen from my pocket. Unfortunately, as he was writing, he stopped, the pen fell to the floor, the machine that he was attached to started to make that ominous monotone that tells you its all over. The paper dropped from his hand as the nurses rushed in and tried in vain to revive him but all to no avail, he now knew all the answers to all the questions ever asked, including the ultimate. I returned to my car in the car park with heavy heart, trying to avoid looking into the faces of the mixed patients, visitors and hospital workers. I somehow managed to get to the car without breaking up, and, as I fumbled for my keys I rediscovered the note from the recently deceased. By now it was all crumpled up so I attempted to iron it out on the bonnet. It just looked gibberish so I returned it to my coat pocket. I have now got home and was about to throw it away but the though hit me, it might be some sort of final message with hidden importance, there are no spaces between the words, it just appears to be a jumble of letters. I decided to share it on Facebook to see if anyone could decipher it, I never was any good at anagrams or conundrums so here it is in its entirety (I’m not sure whether or not he finished before he shuffled from our mortal coil ) it says “GETOFFMYFUCKINGOXYGENPIPEYOUFATBAST”…..any ideas?

  47. I know there are all kinds of annoying MFers in the world, but over the past few years, I’ve really become especially unimpressed with the IT variety of “Busy, I’m so busy. No time because I’m too busy. Oh, look at you slackers eating lunch. I’m too busy. We have a ping-pong table but I’m too busy. I’m the only one who works around here. Busy busy busy.”

    • Are these the same ones that get the atta boys and bonuses for working a bunch of overtime to fix an issue that was the result of their incompetence in the first place?

      Asking for a friend…

    • I hope you put in a ticket on that complaint, or I just don’t have the time to process it.

      I thought it was just my IT guys who did that. One is famous for bending over backwards to help you 90% of the time. But that other 10% he can be a total and utter piece of shit about things.

  48. So I finally watched all the episodes of Upload, it’s the new series on Amazon Prime.

    A romcom/mystery, really good, well worth checking out.

    • Been watching that myself.
      About halfway through. Was surprised (and pleased) they didn’t let the show be nothing but it’s obvious gimmick. It does look like it has potential to be more but I’ve been afraid to let myself give in and like it for fear that it would just suddenly get lazy.
      Nice to know it’s worth going the distance!

  49. So I finished the 2nd book in nK Jemisin’s big trilogy – – The Obelisk Gate. What a ride.

    The first book was very impressive, but the ending was a gut punch, and kind of disturbing. This one also had some seriously fucked up moments, but was a great expansion of the world and mythos and story. I am excited to read part 3.

  50. Because of what’s happening in the world, the pandas at the Calgary zoo are being sent home (a couple of years early), because they are having trouble getting bamboo flown in. 🙁

    • Evo used to jokingly refer to that song as “The Wreck of the Ella Fitzgerald.” I think I was the only person who caught it.

      He was referring to the original, of course.

    • Very interesting. The title of the article put me off and I almost didn’t read it, but it is worth a read to learn of the author’s journey. I also found that the 2nd to last paragraph reflects my thoughts on cultural appropriation.

      • I’m not a Trek scholar, but I didn’t realize Spock had spent that much time on Pike’s crew.

        Cool. I really really like these characters on Discovery, though it did feel like Pike was sometimes a pushover of a captain. Especially for Michael.

        I wonder how they’ll handle his tragic storyline.

  51. So tonight I finished the lastEst addition to the murderbot series, Network Effect.

    Great fun, if you’ve enjoyed the novellas you are probably going to enjoy this.

  52. I tried Alan Moore’s Promethea, because. . . well. . . it’s Alan Moore. . . and I dropped it after the 2nd issue. He is one of the true greats, but this is awful. The writing is just terrible. He’s attempting wry, witty social commentary that just feels out of touch. . . and the dialogue is embarrassing.


  53. There’s an ice cream truck roaming around our neighbourhood. I guess that means normalcy is returning to our world?

      • It sounds like he is behaving in a responsible manor. That being said, I get why they would be concerned by this.
        We’ve all seen the movie.
        You open the door to let one guy in and the monsters flood into the room behind him.

  54. Morning Pan
    We watched Gattaca last night an Contact the night before. Apparently we’re watching The Abyss tonight.
    My husband is obviously in a specific moon right now. It’s a good think I like all those movies.

    • I don’t think I’ve actually seen Gattaca. I know it’s gotten a mostly “meh” reaction, but that there’s a small devoted fanbase for this movie. I should get around to it.

      Of course, Contact and The Abyss are both great.

  55. So watched the pilot of Stargirl another DCU tv series and it was a fun watch, will probably keep watching this one.

    • Well, I definitely have to agree the novelizations of the prequels greatly elevated the material. I know I read them all prior to seeing the movies and appreciated the movies more because of it.

      I know I tried to read the original Star Wars novelization, but didn’t manage to get but halfway through it before giving up. I don’t think I ever read novels for Empire or Return. Read a lot of the EU novels starting with the Zahn trilogy. They started off solid, but progressed further and further into incoherence and I finally gave up somewhere late in the Yuzan Vong mega arc. They at least took the original characters in some natural directions and introduced a lot of new interesting ones.

      Still, while I don’t care much for what Disney did with it, I do agree a “clean slate” was needed to try to tell new Star Wars tales set 30 years after Return of the Jedi.

    • True…. but I think anti-campiness has also been the movie-making trend.
      Which is why we got semi-realworld takes on Batman and the darker Justice League. Even the MCU has done its best to avoid anything campy, except by design.

      • I don’t think it is the fear of camp. It’s just that so much of that has already been done, why retread the same old paths? People want something different. Some friends and I have had this discussion before, especially around the reboot of BSG.

        • “Anti-camp” – – while a great name for a Punk band – – may not have been the right term. I think the past 20+ years have overall been more about than gritty and dark than the shiny and campy. BSG is a great example.

        • There’s good camp “Resident Evil, Austin Powers etc.”
          and bad camp “Batman & Robin, Aquaman etc.”

          To me, the difference is razor-thin. Mostly I think it is a combination of the actor’s buy-in and if the scenes are creatively funny or just a lazy handwave of plot resolution.

        • I’m really not sure on the camp/anti-camp front, but I can say (with more surity than I can say in most things in my life) that “people” and especially Hollywood are not, in any way shape or form, wanting something different and/or afraid to retread the same old paths. Reboots, re-imaginings, re-envisionings, modernizations, etc. are everywhere and not about to go away any time soon. It pains me to no end. But I have at least come to accept it (although I will never relish it or even enjoy it).

  56. So my NAS enclosure is getting rather long in the tooth and Zyxel no longer update it. So when I saw a new low end model from Synology was on offer from Amazon I thought it was time to get a new one.

    However since it’s a different make, I can’t just put the HDs From the old enclosure in the new one and have it read the HDs.

    So not looking forward to copying over a terabyte of data over WiFi..

    • Are the drives as old as the enclosure? Would it be better to just get new drives at this point and then be able to copy from the old enclosure to the new one? Disk space is pretty damn cheap now, all things considered.

      • No, they have been replaced over the years as drives failed (RAID 1 is good for that).

        Plus I would still have to copy the files over wifi as my mesh router only has ethernet ports, one for internet and other other for the old NAS, everything else has to connect via wifi.

  57. You know, I’m old enough that installing a new piece of tech without a hitch still comes as a pleasant surprise.

    New NAS enclose appears to be work fine, now I just have to copy all the files back on it..

  58. Episode 4 of “The Gallery” on Disney+ today may be the most amazing hour of television I’ve ever seen. The future of TV and film making in beyond imagination and the other applications are staggering to consider.

    As amazed as they were by it, I don’t think Favreau and company fully appreciate what they have there.

  59. Under, late to the party, we’ve just started watching The Magicians. Only three episodes in, so far, but are enjoying it.

  60. We’ve been pushing through Handmaid’s Tale season 3. I thought seasons 1 and 2 were excellent, but this season has been a slog. I think we’re on episode 478. We’ll stick it out, but goddamn.

    • This is not a controversial statement in my circles.
      His movies are not the best Batmans, but he is the best in the suit.

      Christian Bale is probably a better Bruce Wayne, but not by much.

  61. So I discussed this with Ryah this morning:

    The Deadpan FB page has recently gotten a few new join requests, but they seem to be people that no one knows. It’s possible that they’re listeners from the old days, but it would be odd for them to have zero connections to anyone in our old podcast community. I assume they’re bots or scammers of some sort, but just in case, I’d say we let them sit there for a bit, in case they prove some actual connection.


  62. We’ve just begun our full Star Wars theatrical re-watch in timeline order (IDK yet if we’re going to watch the Clone Wars animated movie, IDK yet if we’ll save Rogue One and Solo til the end, or if we’ll watch them before Star Wars 1977).

    So, The Phantom Menace. . . Goddamn, this is a lot worse than I remembered. It’s about 25% awesome, 65% pretty bad, and 10% OMFGWTF.

    The random “Ooops” moments behind every one of Anakin’s major plot resolution successes drive me nuts. Always have, since 1999.

    Midi-chlorians. Ugh. Thank Jedi Jesus this whole concept is basically ignored in everything Star Wars that would follow.

    Jar Jar is sooooo much worse with subtitles. Audio only, a lot of his jibberish just sails past, but when you’re hearing him and reading his inane dialogue too, you get every idiotic, unfunny word. The rank stupidity just swarms around you like gnats. Only more annoying than gnats. The script and the movie needed a ruthless editor in the worst way.

    The good:
    The podrace.
    Every single moment Darth Maul is onscreen.
    The emperor’s machinations.
    And look. Jake Lloyd was no childstar prodigy, but he really wasn’t disastrously bad.

    I can’t believe that the consensus feels that Attack of the Clones is worse than this. That’s not how I remember it.

    • That movie nearly made me give up on the franchise.
      I saw it in the theater and have never watched it again.

      I may be misremembering but it seems like that was a time period where Hollywood decided films needed an inane comic sidekick. Wasn’t that the same year that they surprised us with “Short Round” … Indie’s unexplained, child co-star?

      • Short Round pre-dated Jar Jar by about 15-16 years. Same concept, although Short Round was not nearly as ubiquitous onscreen – – or as painfully unfunny/annoying – – as Jar Jar.

        TPM isn’t a terrible movie, but I really don’t need to sit through it ever again.

        Really, I don’t believe all of you who say that Attack of the Clones is worse than The Phantom Menace. I’ll confirm my modern opinion in the near future.

  63. Welp, posted author readings to YouTube. Made a sheet to check off correct answers for our trivia questions. Did a personal post about the launch. Did some website updates.
    So far, a productive morning.

    • Blazing Almighty Thunderclap
      Your grace crushes me into a fine powder someone could snort
      Bop bop, buh doop dop bob!
      Tear us down with the power and destructive capability of an F-5

    • Blazing Praise Thunderclap

      I can feel you moving through me (4x)
      And we just want to drown in your great big flood! (8x)
      Tear us down with the power and destructive capability of an F-5 (128x)
      Your chords are:
      G, D, Em, C (throughout)


  64. Ok … I need to activate the powers of the Deadpan Hive mind.
    I want to show some young 20 somethings that we DID in fact have good movies in the 80’s and 90’s.

    Looking for good solid films of almost any genre … except horror. Not really that time of the year.

    I can say that they have seen Brazil, Baron von Munchausen and Heathers as well as the Star Wars films.

    Any films come to mind?

    What was the Chicago Gangster film with Sean Connery? I recall that was good. Wonder if it would hold up to the passage of time?

    • 80s and 90s, eh?

      Yes, The Untouchables with Sean Connery is a great movie.
      I recall finding Platoon to be dreary and depressing – – but – – Platoon.
      Anything James Cameron:
      The Abyss.
      Both Terminator movies.
      Just about anything Spielberg (too many to list).
      Army of Darkness is not actually horror, even if the first 2 Evil Dead films were.
      Wayne’s World.
      The Doors.
      The Princess Bride is obvious, but I’m sure they’ve seen it.
      The Thing.
      Big Trouble in Little China.
      Escape From New York.
      Raising Arizona.
      Barton Fink.
      First Blood (forget the rest).
      Good Morning Vietnam.
      Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.
      A Fish Called Wanda.

      A Fish Called Wanda.

      A Fish Called Wanda.

      A Fish Called Wanda.

      A Fish Called Wanda.

        • Good list to get the brain going.
          The Terminator was a pivitol movie for me at the time but last time I watched it … oof.
          Some others there I loved but I do wonder if they would still be as good.
          Glad to see that we have watched a bunch of those.

          I WAS wondering about “A Fish Called Wanda”. I remeber it as being a brilliant and funny film but someone else was telling me it had some sexual content that might be uncomfortable to watch with family members. I don’t really recall anything like that but haven’t seen it in probably 2 decades.

          • There are a few scenes in A Fish Called Wanda that would cause everyone to squirm in their seats if watched with family.

    • OK, I only read the top 3 comments, but all 3 were comedy gold.

      I have zero reason to defend Ace of Base (spoiler). I also find it plausible that at least one of the members had previously been in a nazi punk band and held nazi beliefs.

      Everything else is a stretch. Is he hinting that Ace of Base led to America’s current wannabe-Fuhrer? Yeeesh.

    • I’m watching live here. Weather has been dicey in Central Florida today. We’ll see what happens. If I’m lucky I get to see a little light heading up and a streak of cloud. Close enough to make it worth while to walk outside. Would have to drive an hour or so to get a really closeup view.

        • After hearing the audiobook where Luke’s friends are all buttheads, aside from Biggs, I’ve begun to think Uncle Owen might have been right.

          He also had a good point about Luke following in his father’s footsteps.

  65. Morning Pan
    Another quiet day at work. Without our regular brunches, my boss can’t give me paperwork. I know I have a ton piled up once we finally do get together. Until then, it’s fun, fun, fun, fun, fun until daddy takes the t-bird away.

  66. Van and I are having a conversation about pickles on FB. We’ve determined I like both US type pickles (made from cucumbers) and UK (pickled onions). Van does not seem to be a fan.

  67. Locus Award nominees are posted. https://locusmag.com/2020/05/2020-locus-awards-finalists/

    There’s one southwestern US author whose name shows up every year on every major awards ballot. . . . I encountered her at a few long ago cons, and she was always so unpleasant, that I just never had any interest in reading her