737 thoughts on “Unshow and 17

  1. helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet helmet

    Good night, helmush.

  2. Yeah, the Pan is recovering its double X paired chromosomes.

    On Watchmen: I’m pasted the halfway point of my read and it’s facinating so far. If any movie needs to be three hours long Watchmen will be the one. I wonder what the odds of an extended DVD cut are? Does anyone know if they are shooting for an R or a PG-13 rating. Please tell me it’s going to be R rated. 🙂

    Don’t tell Jack, but I think we should call in with our Watchmen reviews and make an impromptu WatchPan.

  3. I’m sure Snyder is pushing for an R rating. He used it to good effect for 300, so he knows what he’s doing. As for the movie, I expect a theatrical release around 2.5 hours and an “extended” DVD version at 3.5 hours.

  4. I remain cautiously optimistic about the Watchmen movie, especially after reading the interview with the director. Though, I do fear the theatrical release will end up being too compromised by time constraints. The DVD should prove epic.

  5. This is a fine bit of illumination into the minds of the dissent:

    “In a dissent he summarized from the bench, Justice John Paul Stevens wrote that the majority “would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.””

    Justice Stevens seems to fail to realize that the major purpose of the Constitution was to limit the power of government in general to a minimum necessary to keep order. Sadly, both left and right side ideologies have not been content and have been seeking expansion of government powers ever since.

  6. Being brought up in the Midwest, I actually support today’s decision. I personally do not own a gun and have no plans to purchase one, but I do support the right of law abiding citizens to own guns. But I’m also in favor of waiting periods, background checks and bans on assault rifles.

  7. RapidEye AND Tosus are freed from mod.

    Not caught up yet, looks like I have some helmets to read. Did I miss an e-mail, Van? The problem is more likely with sphericaljackm than it is with his email.

  8. SsssOkay Rhett.
    Have to say I support the SC decision as well.

    The D.C. ban on weapons was a bigger failure then the prohibition on alcohol.
    Gun ownership is far and away MUCH more widespread then people know.

    I had a conversation similar to this a few years ago and a quick poll of the room showed that 7 out of the 11 people present, owned a gun. This included a Minister. In his case it was an Israeli assault rifle he had inherited from his grandfather.

    The percentage of people committing crimes with guns vs. those who own them is miniscule but we will never get an accurate count because the responsible gun owner doesn’t go around talking about their gun in casual conversation or wearing/carrying it as a fashion item. Your neighbors likely own some form of fire arm and you don’t know it and likely never will.
    Why punish the many for the actions of a few?

    Yep, I’ve owned a gun since I was old enough to legally purchase my first .22 rifle.

  9. My friend and I were talking about this over lunch. Neither of us personally owns a gun and, quite frankly, we’re both fortunate enough to live in areas where neither of us feel we need one. But, it is a right I do have high respect for.

  10. Well, Rhettro, I must confess, I found your puppy photo vaguely creepy. I see those dogs faces and I in their I see them thinking

    “oooh, doesn’t he look tasty!”

    But, maybe I’m just weird.

  11. BTW – The “Awesome Bar” in Firefox 3 truly is.

    I start typing dea and at the top of the list is…..www.jackmangan.com

    IE used to have a similar function where you could put a keyword into the address bar. They had a deal with some company such that it would have a site associated with the keyword. So, if you just put GM in the address bar, it would take you to http://www.gm.com and so on.

    This, I think, works even better since it learns what I put in most often and makes a better guess and what site I want when I put dead in the address bar.

  12. Sounds like it Jack, I sent the email Just after Midnight Monday – so technically Tuesday morning (British Summer Time so still Monday in the USA) to the sphericaljackm address.

  13. I’m getting jerky scrolling in FF3 in Vista. Enabling smooth scrolling is fine for webpages with little content but for something like like the Deadpan comments is unbearably slow compared to FF2.

    Still no sign of FF3 on the official Mandriva repos.

  14. But the the closest I’ve come to being threatened by a person wielding a gun, was a female French police officer at a checkpoint who thought the telescope me and a friend were carrying in the car was a weapon.

    She never pulled her gun, but made sure we were aware she was packing.

  15. Must remember to write that down, the customs check was a dumb ass memory that could easily have ended up with me and a friend getting shot.

  16. I will also add, that if you’ve never seen a total solar eclipse with your own eyes (seeing it on TV or a webcam don’t count), put it on the list of things to do before…

  17. I actually did not get that greasy jelly bean e-mail, Van. I’m kinda psyched that the screw-up was not my fault. woo! Go crappy yahoo mail! (or crappy gmail).

    Aren’t Venusians women? And men are Martians?

  18. On the gun thing:

    I agree that banning the general populace from access to guns truly doesn’t do any good. Bad guys will have them either way. — That said, Scalia has some incredibly stupid quotes from the hearing. I have weapons for self defense, btw, but I don’t own a gun.

    ……. No, I think that the Supreme Court’s shitty, evil ruling of the day was in favor Exxon vs. the Alaskan Valdez Disaster victims.

  19. First lines:

    ‘Marzi leaned on the counter and watched, with dread twisting in her belly like a knot of rattlesnakes, as Beej trudged up the stairs.’

    – The Strange Adventures of RangerGirl by Tim Pratt

  20. ‘Seattle burned. The night sky smoldered a hellish red, as flames reflected off dust and steam. The horrible smoked rendered most senses useless.’

    -Nobody Gets The Girl by James Maxey

  21. ‘After dinner I sat and waited for Pyle in my room over the rue Catinat; he had said, ‘I’ll be with you at latest by ten,’ and when midnight struck I couldn’t stay quiet any longer and went down into the street.’

    – The Quiet American by Graham Greene

  22. ‘Talby was counting stars again. He didn’t remember exactly when he’d lost count. Probably they were all noted down somewhere neat and official in the astronomer’s records – or had he disconnected the tracker? It was hard to recall. There seemed to be something about uncoupling all the scientific instruments a while back, uncoupling them because it seemed blasphemous for such splendor to be reduced to a mere listing in a book.’

    -Dark Star novelization by Alan Dean Foster

  23. ‘Five hours’ New York jet lag and Cayce Pollard wakes in Camden Town to the dire and ever circling wolves of disrupted circadian rhythm.
    It is that flat and spectral non-hour, awash in limbic tides, brainstem stirring fitfully, flashing inappropriate reptilian demands for sex, food, sedation, all of the above, and none really an option now.’

    -Pattern Recognition by William Gibson

  24. Oh, one last note on the gun thing.

    I don’t own one for “protection”. I like the loud noise and the ability to reach out a large distance and put holes in stuff. Probably some sort of “guy thing”.
    The one time I lived in a place where it was conceivably a good idea to carry a gun for self defense … I specifically chose not to.
    I figured that in a tight spot I would rely on fast talking or faster running to get myself out of danger … I had no desire to have “kill someone” as one of my options.

    BTW: I also REALLY like fireworks! hehehehehehehe ssssssssssssBOOMcracklecrackle!

  25. ‘Forbin leaned back in the plastic-smelling opulence of the armour-plated car of the Presidential fleet, gazing at the dartboard neck of the Marine driver. The great moment was a bare five minutes away – the moment he had worked unremittingly towards for twelve hard years’

    -Colossus by DF Jones

  26. Just don’t combine the fireworks and the guns.

    A thousand points to Colin Mochry, and a thousand points to Van for the William Gibson paragraph. That’s an excellent book.

  27. ‘There is a sweet little horror story that is only two sentences long:

    The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door…’

    -Knock by Fredric Brown

  28. EssBee, re: the Food Network. Darcy and I have been calling it Food Porn for a while now. It’s people doing all sorts of wild things you know you’d like to try but may never actually get up the nerve to…

    Just like porn, except with food instead of commemorative statuettes.

  29. Hi j0e!!!! *swoooooooooooon*

    [NBA draft talk]

    Rose has been drafted. Hugh is happy.
    Now instead of hearing: ‘They better fucking draft Rose’ every day I can hear ‘They drafted Rose! I can’t wait for the NBA season to start up again!!’

    That is all

    [/NBA draft talk]

  30. Hugh sez: you should be happy about the NBA draft, it’s cheered me up after the dow drop today, do you have any idea how much head I would of needed to get over a 358 pt drop?

    Thats my husband ladies and gentlemen, Im so proud of him! *sobs*

  31. Tosus: Hi! *waves* Feel free to stay a while!

    CP: “King of Hearts” – Manuel Iman


    Actually, I can use that in a for-real sentence: I want to get back into cycling as an exercise routine. I really need a new helmet, though. The helmet I’ve been wearing isn’t my helmet, and it doesn’t fit me very well.

    (that was 4 in this post!)

  32. Congratulations on graduating Amy.

    ‘There is no mystery to happiness,
    Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out to scorn – or worse, indifference – cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn’t look ahead. He lives in the present.’

    – The Interpretation of Murder by Jed Rubenfield

  33. Morning Pan!

    I survived the sickness. Only to have the battery go on my laptop. Boo. Stuck with AC Power until another one can come in.

  34. In Today’s News:

    Rio DeJaneiro: A sharp increase in drugs and cell-phones found inside a Brazilian prison mystified officials – until guards spotted some distressed pigeons struggling to stay airborne.

    Inmates at the prison in Marilla, Sao Paulo state had been training carrier pigeons to smuggle in goods using cellphone sized pouches on their backs.

    Official ssaid the pigeons, bread and trained inside the prison, lived on the jail’s roof, where prisoners would take their deliveries before smuggling the birds out again through friends and family.

    -Calgary Sun

    Those poor pigeons!

  35. Not sure if it’s a myth. There is a story that when they were developing that were the early radars, they kept finding dead birds near the dishes that were curiously warm. When somebody realised the radar was cooking the birds this lead to microwave ovens.

  36. Yes EssBee. TEB is back, front and sideways.

    Haven’t heard the episode yet, but I get the feeling comments are now called helmets and we need 500 of them.

  37. It’s good it’s Friday. Evil, Inc. is testing my patience this week. Yesterday, I sat in on 4 conference calls that accomplished nothing. Today, looks like I have 3 scheduled.

    CP: Yesterday’s Democracy Now

  38. ‘Behind every man now alive stands thirty ghosts, for that is the ratio by which the dead outnumber the living. Since the dawn of time, roughly a hundred billion human beings have walked the planet Earth.’

    -2001 a Space Odyssey by Arthur C Clarke

  39. Morning Pan.

    Now playing … Wham – “Everything She Wants” (hey, it’s internet radio … you take what they give you)

    Ed – did you see the McCain green-screen fun the other night? It was brilliant! I think it says something for the caliber of artist/geek that watches that show!

    Now … on with the day. On the road again by noon. I will NOT forget my suitecase this time.

  40. ‘One afternoon, at low water, Mr. Isbister, a young artist lodging at Boscastle, walked from that place to the picturesque cove of Pentargen, desiring to examine the caves there. Halfway down the precipitous path to the Pentargen beach he came suddenly upon a man
    sitting in an attitude of profound distress beneath a projecting mass of rock. The hands of this man hung limply over his knees, his eyes were red and staring before him, and his face was wet with tears.’

    -When The Sleeper Wakes by HG Wells

  41. ‘Mr. Sherlock Holmes, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he was up all night, was seated at the breakfast table. I stood upon the hearth-rug and picked up the stick which our visitor had left behind him the night before. It was a fine, thick piece of wood, bulbous-headed, of the sort which is known as a “Penang lawyer.” Just under the head was a broad silver band nearly an inch across. “To James Mortimer, M.R.C.S., from his friends of the C.C.H.,” was engraved upon it, with the date “1884.” It was just such a stick as the old-fashioned family practitioner used to carry–dignified, solid, and reassuring.’

    -The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

  42. ‘”A GENTLEMAN to see you, Doctor.”
    From across the common a clock sounded the half-hour.
    “Ten-thirty!” I said. “A late visitor. Show him up, if you please.”

    I pushed my writing aside and tilted the lamp-shade, as footsteps sounded on the landing. The next moment I had jumped to my feet, for a tall, lean man, with his square-cut, clean-shaven face sun-baked to the hue of coffee, entered and extended both hands, with a cry:
    “Good old Petrie! Didn’t expect me, I’ll swear!”
    It was Nayland Smith—whom I had thought to be in Burma!’

    -The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu by Sax Rohmer

  43. Harnin stared into the eyes of the dead. It was his ritual for so many years of patrolling the badlands east of Eldone. He had never forgotten what it felt like to see the innocent dead, but in the past it hadn’t come without others milling about to bury them, and pepper him with questions. To be alone with the silent voices of the dead crying out to him for justice left a terribly cold and empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. So often regret shrouded his steps as the people who would look to Eldone for protection continually faced the dangers of bandits in the badlands.
    Reasons escaped him why the governor of Eldone would not root out Baron Kel and his thugs, but they were too well entrenched, too well hidden in the coastal highlands of the East. He felt almost responsible for each raid, though it was beyond his power to stop them. Regardless, he had always looked into the eyes of the dead when he could, reminding himself of why he had taken an oath to protect and defend.

    – The Visionary, Volume I of the Keldarian Chronicles, by Jim Perry

  44. ‘The Nellie, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without a flutter of
    the sails, and was at rest. The flood had made, the wind was nearly
    calm, and being bound down the river, the only thing for it was to come
    to and wait for the turn of the tide.’

    -Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

  45. ‘One thing was certain, that the WHITE kitten had had nothing to do with it:—it was the black kitten’s fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it COULDN’T have had any hand in the mischief.’

    -Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

  46. Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

    1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

    2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

    3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!

  47. 6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.

    7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.

    8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

    9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.

    10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

    11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.

    12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.

    13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

    14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.

    15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.

    16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.

    17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.

    18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.

    19 An so teh furth day w00t.

  48. 26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

    27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

    28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

    29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.

    30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

    31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

  49. Alathros pulled his right hand out of concealment in the fold of his cloak, with a long curved dagger poised to strike. He thought he was fast enough, but the supplier was faster and met his blade with a shorter, straight blade. As the realization of his failure came to Alathros, the other man smiled and hit him in the jaw with his free hand, sending him toppling out of the saddle, and his dagger flew from his grasp. His horse bolted, leaving nothing between him and the supplier.

    He dismounted as Alathros scrambled in the dirt for his dagger. He found it, but the supplier kicked dirt into his face and the grit entered his eyes. He instantly doubled over, raking at his face with stiff fingers, when his attacker struck him in the side of his head. Whether with a fist or a foot, Alathros couldn’t tell. He straightned and flung a backhand where he thought the supplier’s head should be, but found only air. Suddenly a violent blow struck his right kneecap. His once straight leg bent unnaturally. He heard a crack and felt a tear as he screamed. He fell onto his back and the man leapt atop him, striking him now on the left cheek.

    “Planning on robbing me in the desert?” he demanded, landing a blow to the opposite side. “Where are you going?” He struck again. Alathros raised his forearms over his face, but the man forced his way through and pressed his elbow into Alathros’ throat. “Try to kill me, will you?”

    In a panic, Alathros pressed his palms into the man’s chest to try and force him off. A sudden heat flowed into his hands, and the supplier flew off of him like a rag doll. He heard the sound of the other man sliding in the dirt, and Alathros lay still, coughing and gasping for air. There was silence for a long moment. He held his hands out in front of his face, his jaw slack. What in the name of the depths had he just done? The silence was soon broken by the sound of approaching hoofbeats from deeper in the hills. Brarag and his two men soon came to his side.

    “Are you injured, my lord?” Brarag asked when he dismounted beside him. “We heard your scream.”

    “Quite,” Alathros groaned hoarsely. He was thirsty. He grunted as Brarag helped him to his feet, then he motioned for a waterskin. When his thirst was quenched he said, “You’ll have to help me into the saddle. We’ll fashion a splint when we reach camp.”

    He then laid eyes on the supplier, lying on his back with a steaming, cauterized open wound in his chest. He was breathing his last. Alathros motioned for Brarag to take him closer. He stared at the wound with morbid fascination. The nubs of his broken ribs gleamed a pale white at the edges of the wound. One lung had been obliterated, and his heart poured blood into his chest as part of it collapsed. It pooled darkly around him. Alathros clutched Brarag’s arm with his right hand, then bent down to pull the coinpurse off with his left.

    He smiled down at the man, his life seeping out of him. “Thank you for the supplies. I will consider it a gift.” He laughed abrubtly, and lifted the bag slightly. “A compliment to your generosity.”

  50. My…work…computer…is…running…really…slow…


  51. NEW YORK – With a bruised forehead, Stephen Colbert has found a new cause celebre: fighting the glamorization of “face violence.” As he did after breaking his wrist last year, Colbert has transformed a real-life injury into a mock crusade. Colbert was injured Saturday, and while he’s been cagey about the cause, he’s made no attempt to hide the scarring between his eyebrows this week on “The Colbert Report.”

    Colbert has claimed it could have happened by smashing watermelons with his head or by “practicing for a walk-on role in Cirque du Soleil and overestimating the number of French Canadians my forehead would support.”

    -Longmont Daily Times Call

  52. Back from grocery shopping. When I came back something happened I was going to tell, about my mother, but I think I’ll record it as a dumb ass memory instead.

    Off to record, then to bake cookies

  53. Jack, I sent you something to the sphericaljackm address. Hopefully it won’t get lost in e-mail limbo like Van’s GJB guess

  54. Ed, I bake enough to share with the gaming crowd. If you want to come over for gaming, you’re welcome to have some cookies 😉

  55. Current Shuffle

    Pink – Aerosmith
    Nothing Else Matters – Metallica
    I Want That Machine – Time Rider Soundtrack
    Nikita – Elton John

  56. Well, I’ve got a few minutes. So, in an effort to help reach the comment goal I’ve set my i-tunes shuffle to show the next 50 songs – they are:

    1) Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad – Meatloaf

  57. Ohhh, hubby’s home! Must leave.

    If that list doesn’t say waaaayyyy too much about me….

    Although, several albums didn’t seem to make it to the shuffle… go figure.

  58. ‘”It’s going into a wide elliptical Earth Orbit,” Judith Hoffman said. “Perigee about ten thousand kilometers, apogee about five hundred thousand. It’ll make a loop around the moon every third orbit.” She pulled back from the video screen to let Garry Lanier have a look from where he sat on the edge of her desk. For the time being, the Stone still resembled a baked potato, with no meaningful detail.’

    -Eon by Greg Bear

  59. ‘The nearest iceberg looked firmly grounded. Waves, with the whole fetch of the Atlantic behind them, exploded upon it, just as they would upon solid rock. Further out there were other large bergs, also stranded by the falling tide, and looking like sudden white mountains. Here and there among the them smaller ones were still afloat, with the wind and the current driving them slowly up the Channel. That morning there were more, I fancy, than we had ever before seen at one time. I paused to look at them. Blinding white crags in a blue sea.’

    -The Kraken Wakes – John Wyndham

  60. ‘He was not alone.

    There was nothing to indicate the fact but the white hand of the tiny gauge on the board before him. The control room was empty but for himself; there was no sound other than the murmur of the drives—but the white hand had moved. It had been on zero when the little ship was launched from the Stardust; now, an hour later, it had crept up. There was something in the supplies closet across the room, it was saying, some kind of a body that radiated heat.

    It could be but one kind of a body_a living, human body.’

    -The Cold Equations by Tom Godwin

  61. ‘Patrol Cruiser “IP-T 247” circling out toward Pluto on leisurely inspection tour to visit the outpost miners there, was in no hurry at all as she loafed along. Her six-man crew was taking it very easy, and easy meant two-man watches, and low speed, to watch for the instrument panel and attend ship into the bargain.

    She was about thirty million miles off Pluto, just beginning to get in touch with some of the larger mining stations out there, when Buck Kendall’s turn at the controls came along. Buck Kendall was one of life’s little jokes. When Nature made him, she was absentminded. Buck stood six feet two in his stocking feet, with his usual slight stoop in operation. When he forgot, and stood up straight, he loomed about two inches higher. He had the body and muscles of a dock navvy, which Nature started out to make. Then she forgot and added something of the same stuff she put in Sir Francis Drake. Maybe that made Old Nature nervous, and she started adding different things. At any rate, Kendall, as finally turned out, had a brain that put him in the first rank of scientists—when he felt like it—the general constitution of an ostrich and a flair for gambling.’

    -The Ultimate Weapon by John W Campbell

  62. Jack, I wholeheartedly agree. I am surrounded by toolish MBAs who speak in MS Excel. Something that they love THAT much must be evil.

    CP: Love On The Run – Galactic

  63. ‘Nobody ever saw the message-torp. It wasn’t to be expected. It came in on a course that extended backward to somewhere near the Rift—where there used to be Huks—and for a very, very long way it had traveled as only message-torps do travel. It hopped half a light-year in overdrive, and came back to normality long enough for its photocells to inspect the star-filled universe all about. Then it hopped another half light-year, and so on. For a long, long time it traveled in this jerky fashion.

    Eventually, moving as it did in the straightest of straight lines, its photocells reported that it neared a star which had achieved first-magnitude brightness. It paused a little longer than usual while its action-circuits shifted. Then it swung to aim for the bright star, which was the sol-type sun Varenga. The torp sped toward it on a new schedule. Its overdrive hops dropped to light-month length. Its pauses in normality were longer. They lasted almost the fiftieth of a second.’

    – A Matter of Importance by Murray Leinster

  64. ‘The telescreen lit up promptly at eight a.m. Smiling Brad came on with his usual greeting. “Good morning—it’s a beautiful day in Chicagee!”

    Harry Collins rolled over and twitched off the receiver. “This I doubt,” he muttered. He sat up and reached into the closet for his clothing.

    Visitors—particularly feminine ones—were always exclaiming over the advantages of Harry’s apartment. “So convenient,” they would say. “Everything handy, right within reach. And think of all the extra steps you save!”

    Of course most of them were just being polite and trying to cheer Harry up. They knew damned well that he wasn’t living in one room through any choice of his own. The Housing Act was something you just couldn’t get around; not in Chicagee these days. A bachelor was entitled to one room—no more and no less. And even though Harry was making a speedy buck at the agency, he couldn’t hope to beat the regulations.’

    -This Crowded Earth by Robert Bloch

  65. ‘On the day that the Polish freighter Ludmilla laid an egg in New York harbor, Abner Longmans (“One-Shot”) Braun was in the city going about his normal business, which was making another million dollars. As we found out later, almost nothing else was normal about that particular week end for Braun. For one thing, he had brought his family with him—a complete departure from routine—reflecting the unprecedentedly legitimate nature of the deals he was trying to make. From every point of view it was a bad week end for the CIA to mix into his affairs, but nobody had explained that to the master of the Ludmilla.

    I had better add here that we knew nothing about this until afterward; from the point of view of the storyteller, an organization like Civilian Intelligence Associates gets to all its facts backwards, entering the tale at the pay-off, working back to the hook, and winding up with a sheaf of background facts to feed into the computer for Next Time. It’s rough on the various people who’ve tried to fictionalize what we do—particularly for the lazy examples of the breed, who come to us expecting that their plotting has already been done for them—but it’s inherent in the way we operate, and there it is.’

    -One Shot by James Blish

  66. ‘I scarcely know where to begin, though I sometimes facetiously place the cause of it all to Charley Furuseth’s credit. He kept a summer cottage in Mill Valley, under the shadow of Mount Tamalpais, and never occupied it except when he loafed through the winter mouths and read Nietzsche and Schopenhauer to rest his brain. When summer came on, he elected to sweat out a hot and dusty existence in the city and to toil incessantly. Had it not been my custom to run up to see him every Saturday afternoon and to stop over till Monday morning, this particular January Monday morning would not have found me afloat on San Francisco Bay.’

    -The Sea Wolf by Jack London

  67. 2006: Stopped wearing wedding ring because weight gain made wearing it turn my finger blue.

    2007: Finally got my act together and had a jeweler increase the size of the ring. Fits great.

    2008: Start exercise program and loss 20 pounds. Ring keeps falling off my finger. I’m going to feel really stupid getting the ring shrunk a year after getting it embiggened.

  68. ‘The Jury chortled happily. The type bars blurred with frantic speed as they set down the Verdict, snaking smoothly across the roll of paper.

    Then the Verdict ended and the judge nodded to the clerk, who stepped up to the jury and tore off the Verdict. He held it ritually in two hands and turned towards the judge.’

    -Why Call Them Back From Heaven? by Clifford D Simak

  69. I’m a bit pessimistic about my weight loss. People keep asking me why I don’t buy new clothes that fit me better, I reply “I don’t believe I can keep the weight off in the long term’.

  70. Yeah Essbee, I’ve thought of that. LOL You’ll have to let me know how you like Sandman. I haven’t read any of the comics but it seems like everywhere I’ve read reviews of Watchmen, people recommend Sandman.

  71. That’s sort of were I am Van. I can wear a belt with my fat pants, but can come to work with my fly unzipped in skinny pants if my weight goes up again. LOL

  72. -‘m

    I can hear the rain hitting the windows as I type.

    Gawd I love the rain, I cannot put into words my love of the rain.

  73. Shuffle:
    Children of the Damned – Iron Maiden
    Land of Broken Hearts – Mango (woo!)
    James Alley Blues – Wilco

    I know the Smarty Hotties love Sandman. No idea; I’ve never read any of Gaiman’s comic book work.

  74. Just got back from WALL-E.

    Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. Yes, I loved it and it is definitely one of the best movies Pixar has done.

  75. Either Jack gave us a comment goal this week or someone is trying to pad their greasy spoon numbers 🙂

    Ah ok. I took a quickie glance there and see we are trying to reach 500 methinks?

    The Smarty Hotties® will do their part in said goal

    Hugh sez: just not right now

    nope, not right now 🙂

    Hey, I hope everyone here is celebrating pride this weekend!!

    Hugh sez: if anyone was planning on visiting Chicago this weekend DON’T

    The gay pride parade is Sunday in the north side and the Taste of Chicago is going on downtown AND our 2 baseball teams are playing against each other in the south side. The entire city is immobilized.
    Of al these wonderful events, we are going to be hitting the Pride parade this weekend 🙂

    Hugh sez: Please, like pride is only Sunday. We are going to hit the gay bars tonight because the festivities really run tonight THRU Sunday

    True that

    L8r pan

  76. ‘The most extraordinary historical record in the world can be seen today in the Public Record Office in Chancery Lane, London. Look at any page and you will not take long to fall under it’s spell. It is an account of England drawn up 900 years ago, in 1086, and written up in the next twelve months; 888 leaves crammed with column after column of facts about eleventh century England and it’s people. Some people call it ‘The Great Survey’, ‘The Inquisition’, ‘The Book of Winchester’, ‘The Great Description of England’, but there is one name which has stuck since the twelfth century – Domesday Book. ‘Domesday is what the man in the street calls it in the English language, ‘ said a Norman writer of that time; ‘that is, to us, “The Book of the Day of Judgement”, for it’s verdicts are just as unanswerable’

    -Domesday_A Search for the Roots of England by Michael Wood.

  77. ‘After a midnight meeting of the cabinet the British Ambassador in Berlin gave the German government notice at 0900 on Sunday 3 September 1939, that unless they agreed within two hours to wiithdraw their troops from Poland, which they had invaded two days earlier, Great Britain would declare war.

    At 1115 that morning the Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, broadcast from Downing Street thhe announcement that Great Britain was at war with Germany. The broadcast was followed almost immediately by an air raid warning, which proved to be a false alarm.

    That evening Kapitanleutnant Fritz-Julius Lemp, commander of the U-30, torpedoed the Donaldson liner Athenia, west of the Hebrides, in the mistaken belief that it was a troopship. In fact it was carrying passengers, including women and children, to America. The U-boats had struck the first war blow.’

    -U boat Aces by Geoffrey Jones

  78. Thank you, everyone!

    J0e: LOL!!! Sure, I like “Sash-a” as a new AKA name, but I’ll always be the Deadpan Ambassador first and foremost.

    EssBee: The helmet I’ve been using is my sister’s. I’ll be fine.

    Okay, time for some recording.

  79. So, I’m new to the whole JMDC (Jack Mangan Deadpan Comments) thing, so I’m sure I’m missing a lot of what goes on here. I may be mostly lurking until I get a feel for things.

  80. That’s fine. You can expect to see a lot of interesting links and discussion thereof, day-to-day news of people’s lives, alphabetical listing games, and the occasional play-by-play of episodes of the Deadpan Podcast, courtesy of The Smarty Hotties.

  81. morning pan!!! or actually goodnight! Smarty hotties relived the olden days last night. We danced until the wee hours of the night, then we went to this awesome breakfast diner called Nookies (perfect name for a breakfast diner in boys town)

    Hugh sez: I was molested repeatedly by men all fucking night

    oh you loved it 😉

    Hugh sez: Only when Warren does it

    thats cuz warren appeals to your dominant side. He knows you and is STILL trying to take you from me

    Hugh sez: No worries dre baby, he has no boobs, you will always win


  82. ok so we had to go and catch up a bit cuz it seems like we’ve missed some things so….

    Vanamonde- I am sorry about your grandfather I think you said? That is a tough decision.

    Amy Congrats!!!!!!! w0000000t!!!!! You go with yo bad graduating self girl!!!

    Tosus! Welcome to da pan de muerte comment nipple helmets

    Hugh sez: nipple helmets?

    to protect your nipples from people who want to touch them all the time

    Hugh sez: I have no idea what you are talking about

    LOL 🙂

    There are few rules here at Deadpan comments:
    1. No judging
    2. Don’t be hating
    3. if you are having a bad day and happen to violate rules 1 and 2, please return and apologize, we are damn forgiving folks.
    4. Have fun

    Beyond that.. this is a taint free, say what you want (and be respectful about it), come on over and just chill with us zone. As Amy said people talk about lots of things, join into a conversation or just start your own.
    We had started a Deadpan lexicon over at far point forums.. to explain some of our oddities, you can check that out.

  83. ok so what else did we see on the comments Hughie?

    Hugh sez: j0e

    Oh yes Have a good trip j0e

    Hello to RapidEye

    We saw Jeremy asking for us!!! awwwww!!!! We lovers you Jeremy!!! *smooooch*

    Jack likes DDD boobs it seems

    Hugh sez: who doesn’t??

    good point!

    ditto- we want to see Wall-E!!!

    k methinks that was it.. sorry if we missed somehting important from someone

  84. alas we must go to sleep now

    Hugh sez: I’ve got something to put in you, at the gay bar!


    Those are Electric 6 lyrics in case anyone is thinking Hugh lost his marbles

    we are going to fit some Deadpan play by play time into our pride weekend at some point. So we’ll see you later

    night pan
    night hughie
    night babe
    night mush

  85. Nice one, ditto!

    Nice day in Longmont today. Hope you all are doing very well today. My folks are on the way for the weekend. We have plans for Benihana tonight, and maybe some shopping/bumming around. Mostly, though, we’ll lounge in the back yard and drink beer, I’d imagine.

  86. I missed that, happy birthday Essbee.

    So according to a review in the latest New Scientist:

    People who hang up inspirational posters in their bedroom are emotionally unstable

    Happy people don’t have colourful bedrooms

    Creative people don’t own loads of one type of magazine but do own a wide variety of magazines.

    I feel so much better knowing the above.

  87. ‘No account of submarines would be complete without mention of Squalus, resurrected from the dead in May of 1940, after 113 days of salvage operations and later rechristened Sailfish. “Squailfish” as the cognoscenti called her, chalked up an enviable record in the unremitting submarine war against Japan by sinking forty five thousand tons of high priority shipping. Under Lieutenant Commander R.E. M. Ward (presently Rear Admiral) Sailfish performed the herculean feat of sinking the escort carrier Chuyo during a typhoon. This story, an account of the day twenty six men died aboard her off the New England coast, will serve well to point up the thin line of demarcation between life and death in a submarine.’

    -Dive, Dive! by Stan Smith

  88. ‘Abbeyleix, village Laois, Ireland

    The village was built in the mid-18th century and named after a vanished abbey founded 1194 by Conor O’More of Leix, with Leix being a variant form of Laois. The Irish name is Ministir Laoise, ‘monastery of Laois’.

    Abbey Town, village, Cumbria, England.

    The village was originally named Holme Cultram, this being the settlement of cottages around the abbey, founded circa 1150 by Prince Henry of Scotland and rebuilt in the 1880s. The earliest recorded form of the name is in the Public Record Office’s Parliamentary Surveys deposit for 1649, as the towne of Abbey, Abbey Towne.

    – A Concise Dictionary of Modern Place-Names in Great Britain and Ireland by Adrian Room.

  89. ‘By Egyptian standards Amon was not a particularly ancient god. He was an infant compared with the falcon headed sky god Horus, the sun god Re in his various manifestations, Osiris the nature god who was murdered and rose from the dead, Set his brother who committed the crime, and Ptah the creator god, all of whom emerged in remote times. He was not in evidence when the two countries of Upper and Lower Egypt were first united under one ruler in 3100 BC or thereabouts and he was still inconspicuous when the pyramids were built hundreds of years later. Even the city with which he is most associated, Thebes, was of secondary importance until quite late in Egyptian history, by which time the Great Sphinx itself was so old and neglected it was half covered by sand blown in from the desert by the regular storms of early summer. Thebes was the great city of the New Kingdom and Amon, it’s god, became the promoter of an unprecedented aggressive nationalism. This was the sixteenth century BC.’

    – Warrior Pharaohs_The Rise and Fall of the Egyptian Empire by PH Newby.

  90. ‘I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife’s grave. Then I joined the army. Visiting Kathy’s grave was the less dramatic of the two. She’s buried in Harris Creek Cemetery, not more than a mile down the road from where I live and where we raised our family. Getting her into the cemetery was more difficult than perhaps it shouldhave been; neither of us expected needing the burial, so neither of us made the arrangements. It’s somewhat mortifying, to use a rather apt word, to have to argue with a cemetery manager about your wife not having made a reservation to be buried. Eventually my son, Charlie, who happens to be mayor, cracked a few heads and got the plot. Being the father of the mayor has its advantages.’

    -Old Man’s War by John Scalzi

  91. ‘In Cambodia people are used to ghosts. Ghosts buy newspapers. They own property. A few years ago, spirits owned a house in Phnom Penh, at the Tra Bek end of Monivong Boulevard. Khmer Rouge had murdered the whole family and there was no one left alive to inherit it. People cycled past the building, leaving it boarded up. Sounds of weeping came from inside. Then a professional inheritor arrived from America. She’d done her research and could claim to be the last surviving relative of no fewer than three families. She immediately sold the house to a Chinese businessman, who turned the ground floor into a photocopying shop. The copiers began to print pictures of the original owners.’

    -Pol Pot’s Beautiful Daughter by Geoff Ryman.

  92. ^Thanks for the reminder! I’ve been watching/listening to the live feed and chat room for the last half-hour or so.


    I actually managed to find a bike helmet that fit decently for this morning’s ride. It was fun, too. 🙂

  93. ‘Brown vines dried and crumbled along the village Refojee-Ten’s edges. Everything thirsted for the impending rainy season: the dry jungle, the hard-packed dirt roads winding through the village, the two wells, and the drooping emerald ears of corn.

    Wiry elders sat hunched over rickety tables outside playing cards, their eyes scanning the late-afternoon sky as they shuffled and dealt.

    In the distance over the green fringe of the treetops, the hazy Wicked High Mountains cut and shredded dark clouds, forcing them to release sheets of rain several days’ walk away from Refojee-Ten. The elders flicked their cards, flashed their gums, and licked lips as they eyed the pictures in their calloused hands.’

    -Crystal Rain by Tobias S Buckell

  94. “they say that when your head gets chopped off, it can still see andv hear for a few seconds, so I’ll have to go with beheading,” saidvSpyder Lee to Lulu Garou.

    Spyder Lee was drinking shots of Patrón Añejo tequila with Lulu,
    his business partner, at the Bardo Lounge just off Market Street in San Francisco.

    Lulu looked into her empty glass and thought for some time, took a drag off her Marlboro Light and winked at the woman tending bar. “Being beaten to death,” said Lulu. “Badly. I don’t mean like with a baseball bat or rebar so you’re out cold, but something small.” She crushed out her Marlboro in the ashtray the bartender slid in front of her. “An eight
    ball in a sweat sock. That’d give your killer a good workout.”

    -Butcher Bird by Richard Kadrey

  95. ‘It was a museum, in a way like any other, this Musee de l’Homme, Museum of Man, situated on a pleasant eminence with, from the restaurant plaza in back, a splendid view of the Eiffel Tower. We were there to talk with Yves Coppens, the able associate director of the museum and a distinguished paleoanthropologist. Coppens had studied the ancestors of mankind, their fossils being found in Olduvai Gorge and Lake Turkana, in Kenya and Tanzania and Ethiopia. Two million years ago there were four foot high creatures, whom we call homo habilis, living in East Africa, shearing and chipping and flaking stone tools, perhaps building simple dwellings, their brains in the course of a spectacular enlargement that would lead one day-to us.’

    -Broca’s Brain by Carl Sagan.

  96. ‘O mighty Caliph and Commander of the Faithful, I am humbled to be in the splendor of your presence; a man can hope for no greater blessing as long as he lives. The story I have to tell is truly a strange one, and were the entirety to be tattooed at the corner of one’s eye, the marvel of its presentation would not exceed that of the events recounted, for it is a warning to those who would be warned and a lesson to those who would learn.

    My name is Fuwaad ibn Abbas, and I was born here in Baghdad, City of Peace. My father was a grain merchant, but for much of my life I have worked as a purveyor of fine fabrics, trading in silk from Damascus and linen from Egypt and scarves from Morocco that are embroidered with gold. I was prosperous, but my heart was troubled, and neither the purchase of luxuries nor the giving of alms was able to soothe it. Now I stand before you without a single dirham in my purse, but I am at peace.’

    -The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate by Ted Chiang.

  97. Good night, Deadpan. The nest is empty for the next two weeks as the kids are spending time with my parents.

    It seems the hard part is going to be keeping my wife from driving back to San Antonio to get them back already 🙂

  98. Day follows night and it’s Sunday Morning again…how time flies.

    ‘Isaac Newton said he had seen further by standing on the shoulders of giants, but he did not believe it. He was born into a world of darkness, obscurity and magic; led a strangely pure and obsessive life, lacking parents, lovers and friends; quarrelled bitterly with great men who crossed his path; veered at least once to the brink of madness; cloaked his work in secrecy; and yet discovered more of the essential core if human knowledge than anyone before or after. He was chief architect of the modern world. He answered the ancient philosophical riddles of light and motion, and he effectively discovered gravity. He showed how to predict he courses of heavenly bodies and so established our place in the cosmos. He made knowledge a thing of substance: quantitative and exact. He established principles, and the are called his laws.’

    -Isaac Newton by James Gleick.

  99. ‘Modern breech-loading cannon date from, roughly speaking, 1880. The basic field carriage, with hydro-pneumatic recoil system, on-carriage sights, metal cased cartridge and general ‘quick firing’ ability dates again roughly speaking, from the turn of the century. The first major war in which these types of weapon found use was the 1914-18 struggle, and the reason I start out a book on Second World War Artillery with this theme is to point out one fundamental difference between the two wars. In the first, technical artillery was scarcely our of its swaddling clothes; there was still very much an element of “Fire over my sword!” in tactical handling, and the demands of the more far-seeing artillerymen were a long way in advance of the abilities of the gunmakers. In the Second World War great technical strides had been made in the concepts of construction, tactics, handling, communications and general expertise, so that while First World War is often considered an artillery war-and rightly so, for in some of the major battles there was so much artillery support that a third of the engaged troops were gunners-the Second World War really saw the culmination of six hundred years work by unners of every age and nation.’

    -The Guns 1939-45 by Ian V. Hogg

  100. Good evening pan!!!

    Hugh sez: Its 4:45am, I wouldn’t call that evening

    well then Mr Perfectionist… Good morning pan!!!

    Hugh sez: Thank you, much better

    🙂 I am so glad I can make you happy my lord.

    Hugh sez: You do make me happy occasionally wench. Next time I have to beat you I will keep that in mind.

    LOL. Ummm.. Thank you my lord

    Hugh sez: At ease wench

    at ease wench? Now I’m a military wench?

    Hugh sez: LOL. Like in Head Of State, the prostitute corps or whatever that was


  101. Happy Birthday EesBee!!

    I like Vanamondes comment version of the stolen paragraphs 🙂

    Jack – hope you had fun at the pool party

    Ed- don’t get too wild and crazy with the kids gone

    Hugh sez: Party at Ed’s house!!!

  102. ok panitos, methinks you know why we are here

    Hugh sez: to have our way with you and leave you wanting more

    wow, is that what we are doing?

    Hugh sez: that is my way as you know, babe

    I do know my lord. how sexy of us

    Hugh sez: You know you better quit with the my lord stuff. You know my ego, I might require that title always

    LOL. If that happens then I will just start calling you dickhead

    Hugh sez: I’m always fucking up situations?

    🙂 Maybe I could combine them and call you My lord, dickhead

    Hugh sez: Hmmmm… methnks I prefer simply ‘my lord’

    Yes, my lord 😉

  103. Today was day 2 of pride weekend. We did our usual yoga/tai chi stuff

    Hugh sez: yoga was awesome today

    it was 🙂 Then we had sushi

    Hugh sez: because we are fucking addicted to sushi.

    We are. Its a sickness. Someone help us!!! We can’t stop eating the stuff!! *sobs*

    Then since we hung out with the dudes last night, we went to the lesbian bar tonight

    Hugh sez: I love the lesbian bar. *swoooon*


    Hugh sez: No see, I don’t mind going to the gay bar. I know most of the guys and they tease me, they know I’m straight and that I’m with you. I go along with their jokes, it doesn’t bother me. I’m comfortable in my hetero manhood, gay men don’t intimidate or bother me when they flirt with me. But there are very very few straight men that will go into a gay bar. Everyone in our circle of friends will, but we are fucking cool and know fucking cool people 🙂

    We are! 🙂 why is it that straight men won’t go to gay bars?

    Hugh sez: cuz men suck 🙂

    Thank God they do!!

    Hugh sez: easy wench! 😉 But at the lesbian bar, there will be LOTS of straight women, and they don’t seem to mind partaking of each other whilst among the lesbians. Its a beautiful thing.

    you perv

    Hugh sez: There is nothing wrong with a man getting turned on when his wife kisses another girl

    Ok I will accept that 🙂 So I want to see the straight men kiss each other in the gay bar

    Hugh sez: I should of known you were going to say that. I have no desire to kiss a man, you on the other hand, seem to have such desires and its a wonderful wnderful thing about you

    LOL. You are still a perv

    Hugh sez: i am. I am a perv

  104. Ok I need to fucking chill on the smileys

    Hugh sez: really

    thanks for the support Hugh

    Hugh sez: no problemo

    Speaking of no problemo.. Secret Diary of A Call Girl??? We watched ep 1 last night and we give it 2 thumbs down

    Hugh sez: We were really disappointed in it. But we will give it another couple episodes to see if it improves.

    Cause Billie Piper is SO hot

    Hugh sez: *swoooon*


  105. 1993? where the hell were we in 93 Hughie?

    Hugh sez: we were in a world of continual self inflicted pain

    jeez. ouch.. but you are right, we were 🙁

    Best AKA name evAR

    hugh sez: I think we say that everytime

    We do! Sodom.. lol

    Test post!!! LOL

    Hugh sez: Test post?

    Jack made a test post on Deadpan because I guess there were server troubles and I looked at it 1 day and j0e had made like 5 comments where he kept mixing up the letters in ‘Test Post’. So I joined him and we went for a while and no one else noticed or at least they didn’t join in, so I emailed j0e and told him we should call in our test post variations delivered in our best Deadpan.

    Hugh sez: LOL. Ok I vaguely remember when you had to call those in. I just thought you were nuts

    Thanks Hugh, thanks 😉 *smack*

    Hugh sez: hit me again baby


  106. its me!

    tset pots!

    more archaeologist reading

    Amy Bowen is traveling! Oh cool Amy! Good luck

    Hugh sez: You realize she is probably done with her internship, this episode was what? Like 3 months ago

    Oh yeah.. LOL.. The Smarty Hotties live in the past

    Hugh sez: We’ll catch up eventually

    So.. I hope your internship was great Amy!

  107. Tee is pretty upset here.. oh I guess it was actually Wil Wheaton 🙂

    Vanamonde is in his breakfast routine

    Hugh sez: with you and j0e talking over his breakfast

    Sorry Van! How rude of us!!!

    Hugh sez: now heavy breathing. His breakfast has suddenly gone porno

    Dr Zoidburg!

    Cool hwhip!!!!

  108. Greasy Spoon Nipples Udder Bangles Susanna Hoffs Dickens Comments Cockles Spooges Comment-a-palooza shitzus donkus nose hairs nipples Comments solo nipples privates nipples sphincters comments comments through Ep unshow 12

    Smarty Hotties® – 21
    The Energizer Bunny – 18
    justa j0e – 15
    Vanamonde – 13
    Mr ditto swooon – 11
    Rhettro – 10
    Dubshack – 10
    Ed From Texas – 7
    Rhettro – 6
    Leann 2.0 – 5
    Jeremy- 4
    Alvie – 4
    Thomas – 3
    Jackamo – 3 (even though it doesn’t count according to him)
    Amy Bowen – 3
    WNDR wolfie – 2
    Addie in boulder – 2
    Lost Ralph – 2
    Trucker Overdrive – 2
    disgruntled scientist – 2
    psion andy – 1
    EesBee – 1

  109. most of us our in for something

    comment taint?


    Hugh sez: I know what you are in for Dre

    you do? What am I in for?

    Hugh sez: you’ll see soon wench

    Vanamonde won!!!!!!!!

    Don’t let Jack fall into the crack

    spherical Jack mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    your welcome Jack

  110. Jack won’t come back after the music henceforth

    Hugh sez: methinks he will

    your on Mister Hughie

    Hugh sez: winner gets to be on top tonight

    riiight, you’ll just top from the bottom

    Hugh sez: of course I will. Thats why you love me

    true 🙂

  111. So back from seeing Wanted…gory fun….the wonders of an 18 rated film..not many people there.

    Too many kids for Kung Fu Panda, I’ll see that during the week on my day off.

  112. ‘In 1992, the West – by which I mean nations and cultures that are either European or derived from Europe’s expansion of the past 500 years – celebrated the quincentenary of Columbus’s first voyage from the “old” world to a “new”. Conventional history, written by the winners, has always taught us that this “discovery” was one of mankind’s finest hours.

    The inhabitants of America saw it differently. Their ancestors had made the same discovery long before. To them the New World was so old that it was the only world: a “great island” as many called it, floating in the primordial sea. They had occupied all habitable zones from the Artic tundra to the Caribbean isles, from the high plateau of the Andes to the blustery tip of Cape Horn. They had developed every kind of society: nomadic hunting groups, settled farming communities, and dazzling civilisations with cities as large as any then n Earth. By 1492 there were approximately 100 million Native Americans – a fifth, more or less of the human race.

    Within decades of Columbus’s landfall, most of these people were dead and their world barbarously sacked by Europeans. The plunderers settled in America, and it was they, not the original people, who became known as Americans.’

    -Stolen Continents_The Indian Story by Ronald Wright.

  113. ‘ Full Moon At Tierz: Before the Storming Of Huesca

    The past, a glacier, gripped the mountain wall
    And time was inches, dark was all.
    But here it scales the end of range,
    The dialectic’s point of change,
    Crashes in light and minutes its fall.

    Time presence is a cataract whose force
    Breaks down the banks even at its source
    And history forming in our hand’s
    Not plasticine but roaring sands,
    Yet we must swing it to it’s final course.

    The intersecting lines that cross both ways,
    Time future, has no image in space,
    Crooked as the road that we must tread,
    Straight as our bullets fly ahead.
    We are the future. The last fight let us face.

    John Cornford_killed in action,Cordoba, 1936

    -The Terrible Rain_The War Poets 1939-1945 – an anthology selected and arranged by Brian Gardner

  114. You must understand something. When Jack issues a comment challenge, he’s really putting out a honey pot to bring the Smartty Hotties out of hiding.

    Works everytime 🙂

    That Mangan’s a crafty MoFo, I tell ya.

  115. ‘Anything that happens, happens.
    Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
    Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
    It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though.’

    -Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

  116. TSH: Yes, I am done with my internship, and it was *awesome.* The segments you heard in Deadpan 93 were recorded on April 9. I traveled back to California on May 31. My name is now a link to the WordPress blog where I wrote about my internship almost every day that I was there.

  117. ‘Martel was angry. He did not even adjust his blood away from anger. He stamped across the room by judgment, not by sight. When he saw the table hit the floor, and could tell by the expression on Luci’s face that the table must have made a loud crash, he looked down to see if his leg were broken. It was not. Scanner to the core, he had to scan himself. The action was reflex and automatic. The inventory included his legs, abdomen, Chestbox of instruments, hands arms, face, and back with the mirror. Only then did Martel go back to being angry. He talked with his voice, even though he know that his wife hated it’s blare and preferred to have him write.’

    Scanners Live In Vain by Cordwainer Smith.

  118. ‘We go about our daily lives understanding almost nothing of the world. We give little thought to the machinery that generates the sunlight that makes life possible, to the gravity that glues us to an Earth that would otherwise send us spinning off into space, or to the atoms of which we are made and on whose stability we fundamentally depend. Except for children (who don’t know enough not to ask important questions), few of us spend much time wondering why nature is the way it is; where the cosmos came from, or whether it was always here; if time will one day flow backward and effects precede causes; or whether there are ultimate limits to what humans can know. There are even children, and I have met some of them, who want to know what a black hole looks like; what is the smallest piece of matter; why we remember the past and not the future; how it is, if there was chaos early, that there is apparently, order today; and why there is a universe.

    -A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking.

  119. ‘The first time I was offered a whole dish of wild vegetables I was frankly scared. The plant was marsh samphire, a skinny little succulent that grows abundantly on saltings. It lay on my plate like a mound of shint green pipe cleaners, and I went through all the usual anxieties one experiences when confronted with an unfamiliar food. Couldn’t the tradition of eating the stuff be a horrible mistake? Might it not contain cumulative poisons whose effects appeared years later, when the fateful meal was forgotten? Did my friend really know enough about shore plants to have picked the right species? To be embarking upon such a strange and risky eating venture seemed-dare I say it-unnatural. When caution was finally abandoned for the sake of science, the taste, needless to say, was a revelation.’

    -Food For Free:A guide to the edible wild plants of Britain by Richard Mabey.

  120. ‘Everybody falls, and we all land somewhere. So we rented a room on the third floor of a colonial-style hotel in Padang where we wouldn’t be noticed for a while. Nine hundred euros a night bought us privacy and a balcony view of the Indian Ocean. During pleasant weather, and there had been no shortage of that over the last few days, we could see the nearest part of the Archway: a cloud-colored vertical line that rose from the horizon and vanished, still rising, into blue haze. As impressive as this seemed, only a fraction of the whole structure was visible from the west coast of Sumatra. The Archway’s far leg descended to the undersea peaks of the Carpenter Ridge more than a thousand kilometers away, spanning the Mentawai Trench like a wedding band dropped edge-up into a shallow pond. On dry land, it would have reached from Bombay on the eastern coast of India to Madras on the west. Or, say, very roughly, New York to Chicago.’

    -Spin by Robert Charles Wilson.

  121. ‘Historians have not had many kind words to say for Charles VIII of France. He was, in most respects, utterly undistinguished:small, pale and ugly, he had an oversized head, blank, staring eyes and a nervous twitch. ‘He was not off for sense than money,’ observed one of his followers. He died young-after bumping his head in a low doorway-and without issue.

    Only one episode in his reign captures the imagination. In August 1494, in pursuit of a heroic dream, he set out to make good his family’s claim to the Kingdom of Naples, an objective which he achieved with quite extraordinary speed, conquering a considerable part of the rest of Italy in the process. Unfortunately, he lost what he gained with almost equal speed, when a hostile alliance of Venice, the Pope, Milan and Spain banded together to drive him out, and his adventure did France the dubious favour of entangling it for generations in the tortuous poliitics of Italy.’

    -The New Maginot Line by Jon Connell

  122. ‘The stars, like all man’s other ventures were an obvious impracticality, as rash and improbable an ambition as the first venture of man onto Earth’s own great oceans, or into the air, or into space. Sol Station had existed profitably for some years; there were the beginnings of mines, the manufacturies, the power installations in space which were beginning to pay. Earth took them for granted as quickly as it did all its other comforts. Missions from the station explored the system, a program far from public understanding, but it met no strong opposition, since it did not disturb the comfort of Earth.’

    -Downbelow Station by CJ Cherryh.

  123. ‘“Draw me a picture of someplace you’ve been that you liked very much,” Mrs. Patterson suggested, pronouncing each word with the firm, specific articulation peculiar to those who work with children. “It can be anyplace at all—an amusement park, a playground, a tree house, or your bedroom. Maybe you went on vacation once and visited the beach. You could draw the ocean with seagulls and shells. Or maybe you went camping on the mountain. You might have gone down to the waterfall for a picnic, or up to Sunset Rock. Pick a place special to you, and when you’re finished, we’ll put your pictures up on the bulletin board in the hallway.”

    I cringed, staring down at the blank sheet of coarse cream paper. Before me was a plastic tub filled with fat, fruit-scented markers, ripe for the choosing. While the other kids at my table dove into a frenzy of scribbles I stalled for time, popping the lid off each color and sniffing for inspiration.’

    -Four and Twenty Blackbirds by Cherie Priest.

  124. ‘I am a botanist. I will write down the story of my life as an exercise, to provide the illusion of conversation in this place where I am now alone. It will be a long story, because it was a long road that brought me here, and it led through blazing Spain and green, green England and ever so many centuries of Time. But you’ll understand it best if I begin by telling you what I learned in school.

    Once, there was a cabal of merchants and scientists whose purpose was to make money and improve the lot of humankind. They invented Time Travel and Immortality. Now, I was taught that they invented Time Travel first and developed Immortals so they could send people safely back through the years.

    In reality it was the other way around. The process for Immortality was developed first. In order to test it, they had to invent Time Travel.’

    -In the Garden of Iden by Kage Baker.

  125. ‘Dr. Ashton—Thomas Ashton, Doctor of Divinity—sat in his study, habited in a dressing-gown, and with a silk cap on his shaven head—his wig being for the time taken off and placed on its block on a side table. He was a man of some fifty-five years, strongly made, of a sanguine complexion, an angry eye, and a long upper lip. Face and eye were lighted up at the moment when I picture him by the level ray of an afternoon sun that shone in upon him through a tall sash window, giving on the west. The room into which it shone was also tall, lined with book-cases, and, where the wall showed between them, panelled. On the table near the doctor’s elbow was a green cloth, and upon it what he would have called a silver standish—a tray with inkstands—quill pens, a calf-bound book or two, some papers, a churchwarden pipe and brass tobacco-box, a flask cased in plaited straw, and a liqueur glass.The year was 1730, the month December, the hour somewhat past three in the afternoon.’

    -The Residence at Whitminster by MR James.

  126. ‘A considerable number of hunting parties were out that year without finding so much as a fresh trail; for the moose were uncommonly shy, and the various Nimrods returned to the bosoms of their respective families with the best excuses the facts of their imaginations could suggest. Dr. Cathcart, among others, came back without a trophy; but he brought instead the memory of an experience which he declares was worth all the bull moose that had ever been shot. But then Cathcart, of Aberdeen, was interested in other things besides moose—amongst them the vagaries of the human mind. This particular story, however, found no mention in his book on Collective Hallucination for the simple reason (so he confided once to a fellow colleague) that he himself played too intimate a part in it to form a competent judgment of the affair as a whole….’

    -The Wendigo by Algernon Blackwood.

  127. ‘3 May. Bistritz.–Left Munich at 8:35 P.M., on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late. Buda-Pesth seems a wonderful place, from the glimpse which I got of it from the train and the little I could walk through the streets. I feared to go very far from the station, as we had arrived late and would start as near the correct time as possible.

    The impression I had was that we were leaving the West and entering the East; the most western of splendid bridges over the Danube, which is here of noble width and depth, took us among the traditions of Turkish rule.’

    -Dracula by Bram Stoker.

  128. CP: Friday’s Democracy Now!

    Wow, excerpts from the U.S. House torture hearings is infuriating. These guys really think that they are above any law or oversight.

  129. Man, quiet Deadpan!

    Back to the bedroom decor question. In our bedroom, the walls are an asparagus green with oak trim and baseboard. We have 5 Blue Sun travel posters — framed just in cheap poster frames — on the walls around the room.

    I’m not sure how that fits, Van. I feel pretty darn happy!

  130. Thanks, Jack.

    For me, today is quiet. Evil, Inc. works with school districts, 99.9% of which are closed down this week because of the U.S. holiday this week. Thus, sitting here catching up on non-Pan podcasts.

    CP – Slice of SciFi #167

  131. Donkus…

    Although I’m sorry to say that that myth is greater than the man. My S.O. is prone to hyperbole when high levels of alcohol are involved. LOL

  132. I got a “Visit Wonderful Skullcrusher Mountain” t-shirt for my bday. I can’t wait until I’m wearing it and someone comments on it. Great t-shirts are my favorite way to meet new geeky friends.

  133. I was so proud of my Iron Maiden T-shirt purchase, but I’d forgotten the prime rule of buying concert Ts and got a medium. So now, after it’s been through the dryer, it’s a little too snug.

  134. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best
    I’ve been gone for a month, I’ve been drunk since I left
    These so-called vacations will soon be my death
    I’m so sick from the drink I need home for a rest.”

  135. 0100101001100001011000110110101100100000010011010110000101101110011001110110000101101110001001110111001100100000010001000110010101100001011001000111000001100001011011100010000001010000011011110110010001100011011000010111001101110100

    Doesn’t that just roll of the tongue?

  136. Not forgetting that classic Neuromancer first line:


  137. Hey Rhettro, too bad I missed your call Saturday night. I was totally buck cherry nude on the couch watching the X-Files. Would have loved to hear about your 8 inch penis.

    Oh well. Maybe next time you can leave more than girlish giggling as a message.

  138. Amy-
    Cool. I am so glad to hear you liked it, it sounds so rewarding. What an amazing experience. I sometimes feel like I have no time to give to help a worthy cause, but whenever I do help just a tiny bit I feel so much better about myself.
    Hugh and I were unable to do the teaching to the inner city kids this year but we have done absolutely everything we could of done to help them. I wish we could of done it, those kids and those classes were so amazing, so rewarding and inspiring. To see kids that their families and society ignores and gave up on find joy and fulfillment from creating art instead of drugs or shooting each other.. God, it was incredible. The pain and the talent those kids hold inside them that gets ignored…. ugh.

    ummm…. I need to hear more about this new info that has been revealed about you. Actually I would rather see it then hear about it. Call me!!! 😉

    ok I think this comment is officially hi-brow low-brow

  139. Got my iPod Shuffle in the mail today, purchased with a gift cert from my b-day. Really didn’t fancy dropping my $350 iPod in the yard whilst mowing.

    Got it engraved:

    Why sure, climb into my spoon! H. Chef

  140. Amy
    sorry 1 more comment about your internship
    I think its cool how you were able to do so many different things and how towards the end you were given the challenge of organizing all the pick ups and stuff, it sounds like you really learned a lot from the experience. It can be overwhelming when you have to set all this stuff up that needs to help so many people.
    I think that was really cool.

    l8r paniacs

  141. Well Dub, I can totally understand why you would want to hear about it, I mean who wouldn’t? LOL

    But alas alcohol seems to have added a few inches to my wife’s memory. I see no rush to correct her on the matter however. 😉

  142. TSH: Thanks for reading the blog!

    Re: inner city kids: I hear you, and appreciate your goodheartedness.

    It *was* cool to get to do so many different things. I did learn a whole lot, and yes, I was overwhelmed by scheduling conflicts a couple of times during those weeks that I was organizing pickups and deliveries. It’s a good thing I had coworkers who helped me straighten things out.

    And yes, that was definitely the most Highbrow-Lowbrow comment we’ve had around here in a long time. 😀

  143. So the moral of the story is that when a woman claims “size doesn’t matter”, break out a ruler and see if her nose has grown that just little bit longer…

  144. On second thoughts, best forget about the ruler, it could be taken off you and used to have a good laugh at your expense.

  145. Morning, Pan!

    Amy, your blog is really great! I spent some time reading this morning.

    JB, awesome engraving! I’m on my 2nd iPod video — I didn’t lose the first one to a lawnmower, though!

    In ridiculous, Dilbertesque, meetings all day today. I may sit here and throw a helmet or two into the mix just to keep my sanity.

  146. O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.

    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!

    From far and wide,
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

  147. Morning All!

    Happy Canada Day!

    TEB will be spending Canada Day alone as hubby is leaving around lunch time for a five day seminar. Guess I’ll be cuddling a teddy bear tonight 🙁

  148. Dilbertesque phrases so far from my meeting:

    – “Collaborative, shared responsibility, hand-off”
    – “Skin in the game”
    – “Soup to nuts solution”

  149. According to the wankish MBAs in this room, it’s a fancy way of saying “from start to finish.” For my business, it means that we can impact your school from student performance to superintendent performance.

    It’s dumb. I think if you say it often, though, that Evil, Inc. gives you an immediate raise.

  150. You can find that type of person for everything. I tend to just ignore it and go on with my own happy little life in my own fantasy world… which is quite different from theirs 🙂

  151. Yeah, know what you mean, EssBee, though it isn’t every day that some nut-job calls for the public execution of adulteresses.

  152. “Marketing Wankery” – not only is that the name of our band, that is a brilliant coinage.
    I once shared a cubicle with my old company’s Marketing Director. God, the bizspeak wankery that I heard all day. . . . .

    LOLBat was pretty hilarious, Rhett. Just as long as he doesn’t commit adultery. Then he should be executed.

  153. “I know you know the words I wanna hear
    it’s just that you never say them when I’m near
    to you
    my dear.
    You only reach out on my machine.
    Is it easier surrounded by beeps?
    Beep. I love you. Beep.”

  154. So what am I doing to console myself?

    I’m working to get a jump on month end tomorrow.

    My boss e-mailed me and said I was crazy. So I e-mailed her back asking what she was doing in the office today too…

  155. My brain is ljafoqeuiranvoaffha after fighting with a massive architecture document. Can’t really do much other than post interesting songs on shuffle.

  156. Well, one thing with my hubby being away, I can cook all the foods he isn’t fond of… Tonight’s menu; lamb

  157. Amy- No problem, thanks for sharing 🙂

    Happy Canada Day to the Canadian Deadpanites

    Considering I worked for the Marketing and Advertisng industry for many years of my life, I know Marketing wankery better than anyone.

    The food I eat when Hugh isn’t around is Taco Bell 🙂

  158. My brain is fried. To… many… loose… ends… Bah!

    As it turns out, I dropped my wife off at the airport at 4:30AM today. She’s going to visit her sister, her folks and my folks and bring the kids back from their extended out of state vacation. I was planning on playing lots and lots of guitar while I’m home alone, but the effects of getting up so earily and my out of control job are catching up to me. Maybe I’ll go to bed early tonight. LOL

  159. Just finished a fabulous Canada Day dinner: butter braised steak, sauteed cauliflower with bacon, and peach-mango salsa.

  160. Sheila: Times have changed
    Our kids are getting worse
    They won’t obey their parents
    They just want to fart and curse!
    Sharon: Should we blame the government?
    Liane: Or blame society?
    Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
    Sheila: No, blame Canada
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Sheila: With all their beady little eyes
    And flapping heads so full of lies
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Blame Canada
    Sheila: We need to form a full assault
    Everyone: It’s Canada’s fault!
    Sharon: Don’t blame me
    For my son Stan
    He saw the damn cartoon
    And now he’s off to join the Klan!
    Liane: And my boy Eric once
    Had my picture on his shelf
    But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
    Sheila: Well, blame Canada
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Sheila: It seems that everything’s gone wrong
    Since Canada came along
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Blame Canada
    Copy Guy: They’re not even a real country anyway
    Ms. McCormick: My son could’ve been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true,
    Instead he burned up like a piggy on the barbecue
    Everyone: Should we blame the matches?
    Should we blame the fire?
    Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
    Sheila: heck no!
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Blame Canada
    Sheila: With all their hockey hullabaloo
    Liane: And that bitch Anne Murray too
    Everyone: Blame Canada
    Shame on Canada
    The smut we must stop
    The trash we must bash
    The Laughter and fun
    Must all be undone
    We must blame them and cause a fuss
    Before somebody thinks of blaming us!

    Happy Canada Day, Canadians. And Canadiens.

  161. So we didn’t tell you guys yet that we put our house for sale 🙁

    Hugh sez: cuz it isn’t really great news to us

    But we’ve shown the house 3 weekends in a row now methinks, right?

    Hugh sez: Yeah, I think its 3 weeks

    and we’ve gotten a ton of interest!

    Hugh sez: But I ain’t fucking backing down on my price. That house is too valuable and its a buyers market so fuck em.

    Yeah Hugh Yeah!! You tell em!!

    Hugh sez: but our realtor told us today this snooty rich woman looked at it today and didn’t balk at the price and her realtor called again later asking a bunch of questions.. wethinks she might go for our asking price

    wehopes at least

    Hugh sez: yeah wemostdesfinitelyhopes

  162. oh yeah and he said she was checking out our art on the walls

    Hugh sez: of course we covered the place in our own work

    LOL. Typical self-centered artists that we are

    Hugh sez: and he said as she was looking he said, that work is by the sellers, and she seemed impressed

    yay us!!

    Hugh sez: maybe she’ll buy the house AND all the art

    that would rule!

  163. Oh yeah I had a question.. not sure if any of you will read this but I had a question about copying DVDs*

    *for my own personal use, not for any illegal purposes.. I promise

    I am on a Mac (of course) and use Mac The Ripper for all my DVD ripping needs.. never had a problem with it until I was hit with a disc with ARccOS Protection on it. Mac The Ripper no likey it at all.

    Anyone have any experience dealing with such things?

  164. Why do I doubt myself? I had the spelling correct

    Hugh sez: Yeah, why do you doubt yourself so much? I think you are awesome, and perfect, and beautiful and talented and amazing and you can stop me when you’ve heard enough

    Oh no, please.. keep going

    Hugh sez: Later mon sweet, now we deadpan, tonight I make mad passionate love to you

    *speachless*… wow!

  165. Greasy Spoon Nipples Udder Bangles Susanna Hoffs Dickens Comments Cockles Spooges Comment-a-palooza shitzus donkus nose hairs nipples Comments solo nipples privates nipples sphincters comments comments teets areolas through Unshow 13

    Smarty Hotties® – 22
    The Energizer Bunny – 18
    justa j0e – 17
    Vanamonde – 13
    Mr ditto swooon – 12
    Rhettro – 10
    Dubshack – 10
    Ed From Texas – 7
    Rhettro – 7
    Leann 2.0 – 5
    Jeremy- 5
    Alvie – 4
    Thomas – 3
    Jackamo – 3 (even though it doesn’t count according to him)
    Amy Bowen – 3
    Trucker Overdrive – 3
    WNDR wolfie – 2
    Addie in boulder – 2
    Lost Ralph – 2
    disgruntled scientist – 2
    psion andy – 1
    EesBee – 1

  166. Justa j0e and Energizer Bunny are gaining on us

    Hugh sez: and I bet our hiatus didn’t help our greasy teets standing


    Hugh sez: 🙁

    Well Hughie, we’ve won 2 of these already.. methinks we can let this one go

    Hugh sez: But I was kinda hoping if we won 3 of them, Jack would up the winnings and we could have a greasy 3some or something

    LOL.. you want to have greasy 3some sex with Jack Mangan

    Hugh sez: *sigh* I.. I.. I do! *sobs!*

  167. Hugh + Jack = true love

    Hugh sez: Jack doesn’t notice me! He doesn’t love me like I love him!! *sobs*


    Jack Mangan, you stoleded my husband from me *grrrrrrrrrrrr* I bet this has something to do with hockey!

    Hugh sez: it does!

    Curse you hockey!!!

  168. ok we’re going to do a few more minutes of pan then we were going to go snuggle on the couch and catch up on some of our tv watching

    Hugh sez: what should we watch tonight?

    There is so much… We could finish BSG.. there are only 2 episodes we have to watch. Or Torchwood maybe

    Hugh sez: Or Tudors

    ooo.. Tudors. We’ll figure it out. Now we must pan!

  169. Contents of Amy Bowens dresser drawers

    Hugh sez: The bottom of our dresser drawers would turn Deadpan into a XXX podcast

    🙂 LOL.. our dresser is holding many of our toys right now 🙂

    Hugh sez: i am making us a cabinet for our toys so they are temporarily in our dresser, you can’t leave those things lying around

    But we do leave them lying around

    Hugh sez: They went into the dresser when my sister came over

    Maybe I should call in the contents of our toy cabinet when you finish it

    Hugh sez: LOL

  170. Dumb ass