1,263 thoughts on “Un Hundred

  1. Your crap joke for the day:

    Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

    As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. “Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing to the bowl. “Oh, yes” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful?

    I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter!” The pastor fainted.

  2. To get the ball rolling on the subject in this new thread – at this point, the weekend of September 13th looks workable for me.

    • Noooooo!
      Once again it will be on a day when I will be out of town.
      Just used the interwebs to try and find a comic shop where I will be and it looks like about an hours drive.
      🙁

  3. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is now on Netflix in the UK.

    Tom Baker (pre Doctor Who) as the villain. Lots of animation by Ray Harryhausen. Oh and tgat guy who played the Angel in Barbarella.

    Last saw it at the Flicks in the 70’s..

  4. Your crap joke for the day:

    At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

    While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,
    “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

    “Good question ,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”

    “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

    “Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”

    “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.

    “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”

    “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

  5. Just reading about a documentary team that unearthed a bunch of old Atari games in a Mexico Landfill.

    I’m wondering what current pop-culture item we should re-entomb in the hole.

  6. So it seems Amazon is already messing with Comixology.

    The old app on iOS and Android is being retired and you can’t buy comics with the new app you have to buy them through the web store.

    This means they don’t have to pay Apple.

  7. Well Pan today is the start of 2 weeks holiday for me, plans have turned to dust so I suspect it will be two weeks of chilling out.

    • /slightly spoilerific
      I love that I have absolutely no idea who is really the “bad guy”.
      I am beginning to suspect there IS no “good guy”.
      /slightly spoilerific

  8. Well Done, Anaheim Ducks, my hometown team for *finally* taking down the Dallas Stars!

    I look forward to a most excellent Round 2 series with your California foe.

  9. Ah twitter, I had commented that the 3 ‘Hereward and Fitz’ stories by Garth Nix weren’t enough.

    The author replied that two new ones were coming out this year…

  10. As promised, here is the hockey pool stats. First, to make sure I have people and their teams correct:

    I had Montreal & St. Louis
    Pixie had Anaheim
    EssBee had Dallas & Boston
    LoPan had Colorado & Pittsburgh
    Jack had San Jose
    ditto had Tampa Bay

  11. San Jose wins:
    Food: An Italian pasta dish. (I ate lots of Italian food with my aunt and uncle during my first trip to SJ).
    Song: “Red Seas, Black Sea” by Shearwater.
    Movie: Choke.
    Picture: A restaurant sign, place, thing, person, etc. with the word, “Jose” on it.

  12. Dallas Wins:
    Food – a Ribeye (unless your a vegetarian, then have one leaf of iceburg lettuce)
    Movie – Boys Don’t Cry
    Song – All My Exes Live in Texas – George Strait
    Picture – You in either a Stetson or cowboy boots

  13. Boston Wins:
    Food – New England Clam Chowder (unless you’re a vegetarian, then eat one can of creamed corn)
    Movie – Gone Baby Gone or any Lehane adaptation
    Song – Debaser – Pixies
    Picture – You drinking a Sam Adams, any Sam Adams

  14. Anaheim wins: (EssBee, this is your punishment)
    Food– you eating an Anaheim chile in any fashion and submitting the recipe, along with your thoughts on the dish
    Movie: Any Disney movie or Disney cartoon (PIxar movies pre-breakup from Disney Corp)
    Song: “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit (little known fact that 2 band members went to my high school)
    Photo: A pic of you at Disneyland!!!

  15. Guys, I don’t think making Bunny re-enact a scene from Oz is an appropriate debt for losing a hockey series. That was a violent show.

    Come on!

  16. Essbee, I think I’ve mentioned this before
    (It’s on EZTV and piratebay), but Hinterland is rather good, Swedish noir made in Wales as one critic put it.

    • Thanks, Van! I have the first couple of episodes but haven’t watched yet. I’m a bit buried in TV currently – Mad Men, GoT, VEEP, etc, etc. But this is just the type of show I love! Will watch on the elliptical – thanks for the reminder!

  17. Ranking the songs on Faith No More’s ‘Real Thing’ album in order of preference:

    Real Thing
    Zombie Eaters
    From Out of Nowhere
    War Pigs
    Falling to Pieces
    Surprise! Youre Dead
    The Morning After
    Epic
    Woodpecker From Mars
    Edge of the World
    Underwater Love

    /random ME list
    Epic

  18. You know, probably the most impressive thing to me about the cast for the next Star Wars movie is that it will have Max Von Sydow. Whatever part he plays is going to raise the level of the movie, but really – he was already not a young guy when he gave us Ming the Merciless 30 years ago. Whenever I see something about him, I keep thinking he must have died years ago.

    Man, 85 and still kicking – http://www.cinemablend.com/new/4-Key-Roles-Show-Star-Wars-Max-von-Sydow-Dark-Side-42791.html

  19. Just a friendly shout out to TEB, the new Penny Dreadful series features a few 8 legged critters..and that’s just the title sequence.

    It’s actually too dark for my TV, I can’t see a lot of the action even with the brightness turned up.

  20. I’m going to watch a movie this afternoon. However, I’m not sure if Smurfs 2 is PBP material. Not because it isn’t silly (which I’m sure it will be) but more because I’m not sure if people want me to spoil this movie as they may want to watch it themselves.

    Thoughts?

  21. A tad bit more billards –

    I do not support torture and I am not part of the “make ’em suffer” crowd when it comes to convicted murderers.
    That being said, I honestly find I have no sympathy for this man who’s “quick and humane execution” didn’t work out that way. I take no joy from it but I also feel no sympathy.

    “Lockett was sentenced to death for shooting 19-year-old Stephanie Neiman and watching as two accomplices buried her alive in 1999.
    Ms Neiman and a friend had interrupted the men as they robbed a home.”

    • I agree with you. I know there’s alot of people who say just let them rot in jail… and that would be fine if I didnt have to pay for their jailing as a taxpayer.

      Yeah. He’ll get NO sympathy from me. Less than zero.

  22. This week has been one of good news for the company I work for. A short story in one of our anthologies has been nominated for an Aurora award (the Canadian equivalent of the Hugos), and two of our titles have been nominated for the Alberta Publishers Award in Spec Fic. This last one is especially good since only three titles make it to the short list.

  23. Hi, Deadpan!

    I just posted my last hockey debt pictures from the Olympics challenge to the Facebook group. If it’s not too late to claim a team for NHL playoffs, I want to play. Is Nashville in the playoffs this year? If so, I want to claim it. If not, I’ll take any unclaimed team.

    I’m posting this from the cruise terminal at Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My godparents organized a group cruise to Barcelona. I might post again later if I have a chance to charge my phone before I lose 3G signal. Or I might go ahead and pay for satellite Internet on the ship, just once. My plan is to maintain radio silence on the Internet for most of my vacation. Bon voyage, Pan!

    P.S.: The Deadpan voicemail line is still active, so I still call in airport updates whenever I’m in an airport. Jack, are you still receiving them? 🙂

  24. Just listened to the Ask Me Another podcast content for today. What do you know, it turns out to be the First of May…

    My basement flooded on Monday, about 1/4 to 1/2 inch in many spots. Lovely.

    So I might be late on my predicted release date for Ghostlight Podcast Season Three Episode One…

    But only a little.

    Meanwhile, recording on the rebooted Idjitcast continues to be a bit problematic, but we will get it sorted by the time we record actual episodes.

  25. If you saw my car right now, you’d see a new toilet, sink, and two faucets.

    Also, today is our 1 year anniversary of our civil union, and next week is our 15th anniversary.

    If this isn’t romantic, I just don’t know what is.

    • Yes, hubby uses Comixology a lot. The email they sent when in-app purchases stopped didn’t really make it clear that was happening, and why. Hubby just assumed it followed the amazon way of making your purchases on line and they would automatically loaded to the ipad. *shrug*

  26. It’s official. I’m old. We painted our new room (converted the garage into a bedroom) last night after dinner and am EXHAUSTED. When we bought the house 12 or so years ago, we worked on the house after work for a few weeks. Can’t do that kind of stuff any more!

    This weekend, bathroom redo.

  27. Your crap joke for the day:

    A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just in case this guy shows up again.” The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whispers to the wife, “Honey,i’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he’s going with this.” She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, “Do you have a Vagina?” “Yes I do.” says the lady. The man replies, “Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours!”

  28. This is so wonderful I could cry. I was at this conference and was one of the people that got pranked. I’ve been talking about this event and how ridiculous it was at work for days and I still have my silly headband. By they way, the way they crashed the conference was by telling us that Colin Powell was on his way to speak to us and these guys were the speakers that were to come before him.

    http://www.democracynow.org/2014/5/2/posing_as_us_officials_yes_men

  29. Well I attended my first freecomicday event, got a stash of comics to peruse later.

    A lazy day ahead with a pizza night with family later for my birthday, later pan.

  30. ..and your crap Star Wars joke from twitter:

    @Darth_VaderSW: If you are dating a girl who doesn’t like Star Wars puns, you’re looking for love in Alderaan places.

  31. …and an early crap joke for this Star Wars day:

    Two guys were fishing on the Ohio River. One catches the biggest catfish either one has ever seen. He says to his buddy, “We need to remember this spot so we can come back here again.” His buddy pulls a pen out of his pocket and makes a big ‘X’ on the bottom of his boat. The first guy looks at his buddy, shaking his head in disgust. “You idiot- what if we bring another boat next time?”

  32. Crap joke for the day:

    Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, “I’ve got it!” The second cowboy said “What?” “I’ll shave the main on my horse.” Let’s do it!” So the cowboy shaves the main on his horse. But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are having a really hard time telling them apart. Then the one cowboy said, “I’ve got it! “What? What? What’s your idea now? says the other” “I’ll cut the tail on my horse really small.” “Alright! Let’s do it!” So he cut the tail really short. But after a while it grew back. “Then the second cowboy said, “OK, this time I’ve got it!” You take the black one and I’ll take white one!!!!”

    • That one just earned itself a high place on my “Ultimate Truth” list…especially since I fear I would be the one to write that return note.

    • Yes, Cynful (don’t we all speak of ourselves in third person) is considering options of going to the mmmmmmMeetup, so you all have to decide timing 🙂 There may be a real Cynful sighting. I may just hug Jack and Lo til their eyes pop…. with respect to significant others of course.

  33. Fun fact – Dean Menta, guitarist for Faith No More, also in the music editor for The Clone Wars. Now THATS two great tastes!

  34. Well yesterday I had a play with the Chromecast dongle I bought.

    Easy to setup, the app on my phone detected the chromecast without a hitch.

    I think I had some misconceptions on what is possible and the experience was underwhelming. No apps on my phone support streaming video files stored on the phone. There is a third party plugin for the Chromwbrowser that will let you stream video files from a computer but I thought that was a bit pointless (I have other hardware that would do that).

    Netflix and BBC iplayer work fine, but didn’t work as I expected. There is no directly controlled app on the Chromecast, control is via the apps on the phone or browser plugins on a computer.

    It’s limited to 720p output, which was fine for me.

    • I must admit, as much as I’m an android guy, I have found it hard to understand the point of Chromecast in its current incarnation. Your illustration of the limitations underscore why.

    • My latest Blu-Ray player seems to do everything I would want a Chromecast or Ruku to do, mostly just stream Amazon video.

  35. Your crap joke for this Bank Holiday Monday:

    A hitchhiker was standing by the roadside near the law school with his thumb out. A motorist stopped and asked, “Are you a lawyer?” “No,” the hitchhiker replied. The motorist drove off.A few minutes later, a second motorist stopped and asked, “Are you a lawyer?” The hitchhiker again replied that he wasn’t, so the second motorist drove off.Finally a third motorist stopped and this time the driver was a voluptuous redhead. “Hi, are you a lawyer?” she asked. After telling her that he was, she told him to get in and off they drove.After sitting and admiring the driver for a few minutes, the hitchhiker thought to himself, “This is incredible. I’ve only been a lawyer for five minutes and already I’m thinking about screwing someone!”

  36. There, my cupboard is now full. Although I was a little disappointed. I wanted to buy stuff for dinner I like but hubby doesn’t for the days he is away. Unfortunately, all the items I wanted were in “family size” quantities, not singles. Will have to rethink my dinner choices for the next three days.

  37. I don’t want to tape and tack articles on my wall. I’m the one who would have to repair and repaint once it all comes down

  38. When I grow up, I want to do something that’s scary… As long as it doesn’t involve spiders or other creepy crawlies

  39. I think I’m playing hooky from work today. It wasn’t my original intention but, the sun is out and I haven’t really done anything this morning. I think I’m just going to give into the trend and ignore the rest of the day.

  40. Speaking of Nazis in teh sky… the director’s cut of Iron Sky is now on Netflix. I’m seriously so excited I could poop. The original is one of my fav bad movies ever ever.

    • I guess we can just close the internet now.