259 thoughts on “Secret Unshow”

    • You know, I don’t think I have ever seen Tony and Jack together in the same place. Have they really just been one guy living two lives this whole time?

  9. All is working here! I can see this post, but not the Final FPM Post.

    I confirm the absence of the Recent Comments feature from its rightful place in the right sidebar.

    I also see the domain redirect to tonymast.com/jmdp. Hmmm…. *gets plot bunnies for new stories*

  12. A patient (grown adult) goes to an ER.
    ER nurse does assessment. ER nurse manages to find cash hidden inside the rectum of said patient.
    ER nurse #2. “How did you know the cash was there?”
    ER nurse #1. “The patient’s Mommy told me, ‘That’s where the drugs are normally hidden.’
    ER nurse #2. ” How much money was it? Was it bills? Were there coins?”
    ER nurse #1. “I DIDNT COUNT IT!”
    wait for it….

    ER nurse #2 ” Awww C’mon! Ever since the 80’s, I’ve always wanted to know how much a buttload of cash was!”

    /no coat required

  27. Hey, :jack: (hoping emoticon works)

    Where are you in our new Deadpanland Digs? Is Smurfette holding you hostage as Cthulhu’s love slave?

    • Talking of crap jokes:

      I was sat on the toilet the other night, straining really hard, with all my might when suddenly, there was a loud POP and everything when dark.
      “Honey are you OK!?” Called my Girlfriend from the other room. “There’s been a powercut!”
      “Thank God for that!” I shouted back. “I thought my fucking eyeballs had burst!”

  31. there, I went in and bought the Hugo Nominees on my ipad. Usually I have these read long before the awards but I seem to be a bit behind this year. *sigh*
    I just haven’t been reading as much as usual lately. I better get my act together.

  36. Just … wow.

    Despite Fact Checks, Romney Escalates Welfare Work Requirement Charge.

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2012/08/22/159791065/despite-fact-checks-romney-escalates-welfare-work-requirement-charge?ps=view&ec=mostpopular

    “The fact-checking website PolitiFact says Romney’s claims are “pants on fire” bogus.

    The Washington Post’s fact checker awarded four Pinocchios, its highest rating.

    And Annenberg Public Policy Center’s FactCheck.org reached the same conclusion, that the claims are false.”

  38. I haven’t read much expanded universe fiction, but I thought I should at least get up to date on what happened after “Return of the Jedi.” The “Thrawn Trilogy” is in the mail.

  62. My socks are wet for the second time today. It’s raining. I didn’t know this until I ran out in my socks to catch the guys who cut our lawn and give them heck for not doing the back yard the for the last couple of weeks. Now my feet are cold. Where’s my warm hubby when I need him.

  64. That was under windows 7.

    On my other netbook running Ubuntu, the refresh problem remains in Chromonium, but the grey bar has gone.

  68. Morning Pan.

    You know, while, for the most part, I enjoy China Meiville’s work, I think I would enjoy it more if he stopped making up words

    • I’m posting from a Mac…. I feel like I’m driving on the wrong side of the road here.

      After reading Kraken, I fear that China Mieville is turning into Neil Gaiman. Not that I dislike Gaiman…. I just really liked the guy who wrote The Scar.

      CD: Orange blossom tea.
      CD: Checking in with my favorite :panties:

  69. On a gaming note, I’m enjoying LA Noir but I suck at reading people’s face to decide if they are lying or not

    Also thinking of getting Assassin’s Creen Revelations just so my lore is complete before the new one comes out

  71. Crap joke for the day:

    Me and my pigeon chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

    The counsellor asked us; “What seems to be the problem?”

    “Well,” I said, “Dolly Parton here thinks I’m too sarcastic.”

  72. From 50 Sheds of Grey on twitter:

    @50ShedsofGrey: ‘That was amazing,’ she sighed, ‘Did the earth move for you too?’ ‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘Don’t worry, it’s just natural subsidence.’

    • What I’d like to see is a headline that indicates literary groups are joining the mass burning based on how poorly written the book is and BDSM groups are joining in based on how “wrongly” it portrays their community.

      Hard to remember the last time so much public attention has been given to a book that was so undeserving of it.

  81. sad to hear of the loss of Neil Armstrong; but I’m guessing he lived a very happy, fulfilled life.
    Will be missed. Makes me love my own family and friends that much more today.

  82. I promise not to devolve into politics any further today. . . . but, on two occasions now in recent memory, the “press” – – with/without the corroboration of certain elected officials – – have exposed the secret identities of American service operatives. How is this ok??
    The people who cry treason over imagined 0.2% tax increases should be pooping in their colonial U.S. cosplay garb are strangely silent on this issue.

    /End of my billiards game.

    • Thanks for listening! Yeah, the Deadpan needed crash space and I’ve got a bit of extra room.

      Jack and the rest of you jokers are good people and I’m still paying penance for that whole Doodle of the Fates thing back in Wingin’ It #69. 😉

  85. Tis Sunday, crap joke follows:

    “I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night
    when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

    “This is the 21st century, old man” he said.
    “We don’t waste money on newspapers.
    Here, you can borrow my iPad.”

    I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it…

  89. Heads up. I may or may not be on the boars tomorrow. My mom has been rushed into the hospital with a blood clot in her lung. Basically I’m to sit by the phone for the next 12 hours or so. If she pulls through, great but, if things go down hill, I might be flying out to BC tomorrow.

    I know I talk a lot of smack about my mom but… She is still my mom.

  91. Wee doggie, I’ve been negligent in checking in lately.

    We’re entering into the full panic timeframe getting ready to host fifty people at our house next weekend for a family reunion.

    Hopefully, our pool will be repaired in time…

    • If you had to empty your pool to repair it, I’d be more worried about it being the right temperature in time. It took weeks for our pool to heat up after refilling it. If you didn’t cheap out like me and you have a heater, you’ll probably be fine.

    • I really dug Brave Men Run… so much that I bought the book as it was being podcast because I didn’t want to wait for the end.

      I backed this. Looking forward to see what’s next in the story.

    • As I watch this I think how cool it would be to have a spoof video of a martian standing on the surface who sees the heat shield detach and slowly watches it fall in the distance saying “what the hell is that?” as Curiosity squashes him. I think the real reason I think this would be so funny is because watching one thing fall from the sky while another clearly (and completely missed by me) falls right on top of me, is EXACTLY the kind of thing I would do.

  99. Ok. I may or may not do movie play by plays in the future. Whenever I hit refresh in bot Safari or Atomic web. On my iPad it brings me tho the home pages so I have to click and scroll down. Whenever I post a comment in atomic web it brings me to the top of the page so I have to scroll all the way down to post again. Safari doesn’t make me scroll every time I post but it does delay a few seconds before it lets me type. Lots can happen in a movie whole you’re screwing around with the web.

    It could also be, I’m just a little grumpy this morning and have no patience for anything. Lack of sleep will do that

    • Bunny, don’t give up on the movie replays just yet. Jack and I are fiddling with bits behind the curtain over here. Once we are done and emerge with smiles on our faces, we’ll wipe off our chins… err hands… and all should (hopefully) be as it once was.

      Thanks for your patience.

  101. I spoke with my uncle. They are pretty sure they got mom to the hospital and got it diagnosed quick enough that she’s going to be ok. They are keeping her in the hospital under observation for a couple of days to make sure. I asked if I should come out and was told probably not. She’s been getting lots of visitors and they don’t want to tire her out too much. They are seeing mom again later today and will call with an update then. That being said, I may go out anyway once she’s released to help out and make sure she gets bed rest.

  106. Ditto, what had you bookmarked to? That could be something that I might be able to tweak to bring the old feed link back. We had to take a lot of settings from scratch to make them work. Thanks.

  111. So it looks like the changes that were made today are still propagating through the intarwebz. From work I saw the changes earlier today. When I got home the site still looked borked until just a few minutes ago.

    Slowly but surely, we’re getting the Deadpan back to it’s former glory.

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