431 thoughts on “Jack Mangan's Deadpan #95: Magical and Dangerous

  1. Splenda in hot drinks is eeeevvviiiillllllll!

    Maybe if I survive to retirement age, they will have invented an artificial sweetner which actually tastes good in hot drinks.

    I’m not holding my breath.

    Oh female characters, try and find Oni in the bargain bin (for PCs and PS2), a female computer character that kicks ass and isn’t over sexualised.

  2. Yay ! new Deadpan, just what I needed to help me start today.

    All artificial sweeteners are evil in anything. Of course I am biased, so you can take that opinion with a grain of real sugar. 😉

  3. Indeed it is. My Deadpan is consumed. It was most tasty.

    Jack, I’m proud of you for going back and getting your daughter a car. Though, I don’t know that anything was worse than those American Idol toys.

  4. Morning Pan!

    They’re saying we might get a spot of snow in the next couple of days…

    I loves living next to the mountains 🙂

  5. Re: the news link from Van. I see pros and cons to this. I can see it being a good thing for people like my daughter who has certain issues as a side effect (maybe not right word?) of her schizophrenia.

    However, in today’s stupid society, how much trust do you really want to put in some people before you get burned?

  6. Apparently I am in this show. That’s cool, my first time! Well, for this show, obviously not first time ever… excited, will listen on way to shopping.

  7. In the news today:

    WELLINGTON: Road workers in a small New Zealand town got their wish granted when a woman stripped saying she was fed up with their cat-calls.

    The Israeli tourist was about to use a cash machine in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association reported.

    She calmly stripped, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walked away. The woman told police she didn’t take too kindly to the whistling from the men repairing the road.

    “She said she had thought ‘bugger them, I’ll show them what I’ve got,” police Sgt. Peter Masters said.

    -Calgary Sun

    This sounds like something my mother used to do

  8. LONDON: It sounds like every student’s dream – turn over and exam paper and finding the answers on the back.

    But that was what happened to 12,000 lucky British teenagers when they took their music exam last week.

    The OCR (Oxford, Cambridge and RSA) examination board said yesterday that, because of a “printing error,” papers sent tot he schools had the answers to questions on the back page.

    “All exam papers have a copyright statement dealing with source material on the back page”, and OCR spokeswoman said. “This one in particular had more detail than is usual in a music paper.”

    the exam board said only 5% of the overall marks on the paper were possibly affected and students would not have to take the exam over, as most students seemed to have been unaware of their good fortune.

    – Calgary Sun

    The students TOLD them they didn’t know the answers were on the back…

  9. There, my quackers are clean.

    And I don’t put any kind of sweetener in my hot drinks, I’m sweet enough 😉

  10. I’ve missed so much!

    a repeat pan on Thursday, and a new pan on Friday.. whats going on here?!?!?!?!?!???!!????

    OMG we have to catch up Hughie

    Hughie sez: we shall catch up my child, do not worry

    ok 🙂

    RE: New Zealand.. I should try that next time I get oogled

    Dear Rhettro

    YOU HEATHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOu shouldn’t drink splenda.. tis not natural, sugar is natural.

    breasts and cocks
    Dre and Hugh

  11. Re: “Love Hormone” thats really interesting Van, but you don’t seem too shy to me.. or is it more the inperson thing that freaks you out?

    I hope something like that will help your daughter Ryah

    But I agree it is getting harder and harder to trust people whether or not you have schizaphrenia (spelling???) or not

  12. Listened to the episode on the drive in. Great stuff Jack. As the father of a daughter and a son I have the same concerns for my daughter. I think in the past I brought up how may daughter used to look at toy packaging and see if there was a picture of a girl on it. If she saw a picture of a girl she would say,”girls can play with this!” and if there was only a boy’s picture, she may ask “Can girls play with this?” And this always bothered me, because I didn’t want her to limit her choices based on what society expected of her. So I’ve always made it a point to tell her, she can play with whatever she wants to, toys are for everyone boys and girls.

  13. Rhett, do you say the same thing to your son?

    I think its cool that people don’t limit girls to only doing girly things, but we shouldn’t limit boys to only doing boy things. My nephew for instance is 5 and the only boy in dance class. He has a recital next weekend and is excited to all hell about it.

    The other mothers look down on my sister in law for letting her son be in dance, but i think its fucking awesome. The kid absolutely loves it, and all the girls in class love him and I just think its cool.

    ok thats my final thought of the day

    l8r pan

  14. ASH, I do. In fact when my son was very young he had a baby doll he used to take care of. And when you think about it’s a pretty natural thing. Father’s spend a lot of time caring for children it’s not just a femine role. On the opposite spectrum, women drive and race cars so why wouldn’t girls want to play with Hot Wheels.

  15. Yeah, I didn’t even touch on the toy aisle.

    Some of you may recall a discussion here awhile back after I’d bought my daughter a pink guitar with Disney princesses on it. I see absolutely nothing wrong with little girls enjoying pink princesses and the like — as long as they don’t think that women should be damsels in need of rescue.

  16. Looks like we got our first WI refugee.

    I’ll pass on the rainbow smelling. LOL

    My daughter has a pink guitar too Jack. She loves pink and make up and ponys and Hanna Montana and High School Musical. I don’t care about her passions that happen to be mainstream, I just don’t want her to repress things she wants to do if they don’t fall into the mainstream. 🙂

  17. You guys are great daddies.

    The conversation you are having right now is identical to one that I had in a graduate-level Women’s Studies course. Awesome!

    What up, Tosus?

  18. Thanks Essbee, there are still some aspects of my being a father I’m trying to improve on and I get a lot of help from my wife. I really admire Jack and Ed’s devotion to their children and all the moms of deadpan as well.

  19. Rhett, I hear you brotha

    Hi Jeremy!!!!!!!!!!!! *mwa!!!!!*

    can I man swoon too? *man swoooon*

    The A’s are currently living in a plane of existence above our own where there are none of these “united states” or even “countries” you humans speak of.

  20. Black is the Colour of My True Loves Hair is a beautiful song.

    Cara Dillon’s version is the one for me…but I have a soft spot for the cat version by that guy from the B bards.

  21. So over at Gogamer.com I can buy Dungeon Siege 2 for $19 or Dungeon Siege 2 and it’s expansion together for $17.50. Tough call.

  22. I actually liked the second Dungeon Siege better than the first. Both are very linear, however, 2 is less obvious about it.

  23. I really like the Twilight Singers’ version too. Though in my case, there’s no man swooning involved.

    Gimme a minute TEB — I’ll fish your comments out of murgatory.

  24. Well, this is depressing:

    “One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.”
    – Kurt Vonnegut

  25. Prime Time – Don Maclean

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

    I was ridin’ on the subway in the afternoon
    I saw some kids ‘a beatin’ out a funky tune
    The lady right in front of me was old and brown
    The kids began to push her, they knocked her down
    I tried to help her out but there was just no way
    A life ain’t worth a damn on the street today
    I passed the ambulance and the camera crews
    I saw the instant replay on the evening news

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

    Well will you take the car, or will you take the trip?
    Remove annoying hair from your upper lip
    What’s it really worth? Does she really care?
    What’s the best shampoo that I can use on my hair?
    Hey what’s the real future of democracy?
    How’re we gonna streamline the bureaucracy?
    Hey, hey, the cost of life has gone sky-high
    Does the deodorant I’m using really keep me dry?

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

    Well spin the magic wheel and try to break the bank
    Think about your life when you fill in the blank
    Here’s a game that’s real if you wanna try
    One spot on the wheel that says you must die
    American roulette is the game we play
    But no-one wants to have to be the one to pay
    You get to pass “GO”, you get to pass away
    But before we start our show, here’s our sponsor to say:

    “Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way”

    Well down in Mexico, the laundry’s on the line
    There’s where you can go if you land on the nine
    Canada is nice if you’re fond of ice
    If you land on the two then we’ll send you there twice
    We interrupt this game for a news release:
    A man has gone insane and been killed by police!
    Now back to the game, that’s a dangerous play
    ‘Cause if they see you in C-U-B-A you must pass away

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

    My supper’s on the stove, the war is on the screen
    Pass the bread and butter while I watch the Marine
    The shot him in the chest–Pass the chicken breast!
    The general is saying that he’s still unimpressed.
    “We had to burn the city ’cause they wouldn’t agree
    That things go better with democracy!”
    The weather will be fair, forget the ozone layer,
    But strontium showers will be here and there

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

    Well livin’ in the country watchin’ shadows fall
    My reception ain’t too good in a power stall
    Bombers in the air, missiles in the sea
    Chemicals in everything, including me
    They don’t keep their promise in the promised land
    It’s getting mighty hard to find an honest man
    But coming very soon, a show you’ll die to see
    It’s called “The End Of The World”, on channel “C”

    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime time
    This is livin’ in the U. S. A.
    Well this is life, this is Prime Time
    This is livin’ the American way

  26. No one’s gonna take me alive,
    The time has come to make things right,
    You and I must fight for our rights,
    You and I must fight to survive

  27. Jeremy – on the Myth Cheif cover — Yes sorta — Phil Foglio did the drawing and I turned into the painting for the cover.

    which brings me to the other thing – my day job is coloring comics, in particular the Gaslamp Fantasy (steampunk) kick ass, super smart mad science Girl hero epic


    drawn again by Phil — This comic has garnered Phil (and by extension, me) a Hugo award nomination this year — so those of you that can vote in the final round… please do

    and don’t let my ability to build a Death-Ray influence your vote in any way.

    Please Vote your conscious

    I can build a Death-Ray

  28. Congratz Cheyenne. 🙂

    Sorry about the Ed. I will see Indy 4 eventually, but base on the mixed reviews, I think I’ll wait for the DVD. Iron Man is probably the most likely contender for me to see at the theatre.

  29. Um, let’s see.

    Rainbow fart ~groan!~

    Robert Asprin R.I.P. Yeah, Foglio did most of the covers, no? Did Gurney do a couple too, or am I confused? Maybe for the Ace paperbacks?

    The A’s are formerly of Boulder now, though still in that vicinity, I forget just which town, tho I think Longmont’s not the one…

    Hey EssBee, dunno if you saw on the other comments, I was wondering how you had heard of the deadpan? I was wondering, because last time we were in Denver, Darcy and I went out for dinner with the A’s and then went to have coffee at a lesbian bar/coffeehouse. I left a page of content in their notebook, short story content and made sure to plug the Deadpan. I doubt that is where you heard of the Deadpan, but I had to ask.

  30. Good evening Deadpan, I’m bored and inebriated so any posts made tonight should be “interesting”.

    Hearkening back to an old DP meme

    Who: LostRalph (where the hell am I?)
    Where: hotel in Bum fucking kentucky
    Inebriation level: gamma (this will explain much)
    Doing: cruising online waiting for laundry
    Wearing: t-shirt, and shorts “commando style” *snicker*
    Drinking: water
    Listening: The Adventures of Indiana Jim ep#8

    Re: Girls and societal models: I have 2 little sisters who have been exposed to me since an early age (poor them). I have been encouraging them from the beginning to be independent and to say fuck off (paraphrased) to society.

    Cheyenne: I’ve read Girl Genius before and would like to congratulate you on the level of artwork in it. I wish I could vote for you for the Hugo award, you certainly deserve it.

    Jack: Yet another good show, thank you for all the work you put into putting the Deadpan out on a regular basis.

  31. Wot’s dis?

    I crawl back into the Deadpan from a bout of the plague and I find LostRalph exposing himself … worse yet, he’s talking about exposing himself to his little sisters.

    I’d better back out slowly before “Dateline” shows up.

  32. ah, the qualifications require a little more then that. You will need to acquire a lamp shade (or Shriner’s hat), a bad brittish accent, and several ounces of fissionable radioactive material. (bonus deadpan points if you can pull this off whilst wearing swim fins).

  33. Hey, Pan. Girl and I are going to see Iron Man at the earliest show this morning. Hoping for a quiet theater. We’ve already this morning: had coffee, changed out the bait in the wasp trap outside, pulled grass out of our xeriscape front yard (grass is really hard to get rid of), and loaded the dishwasher. I’m hoping for a relaxing weekend with a little bit of yard work mixed in.

    JB: Sorry, I missed it earlier. I’ve been listening to the Deadpan for a long time. I loved Jack’s Duel of the Fates on Wingin’ It, but just never subscribed until y’all called in the WI voicemail show about a year and a half back — which was hilarious, btw. I am not much of a joiner, but after being disappointed in Twitter, and looking for an online community where I wasn’t looked at as a fan/target for infomercials/ego sounding board, I decided to say howdy to the Deadpan comments board and I’m sure glad I did! It would have been a way cooler story if I’d seen your recommendation at the lesbian coffee shop, I know!

  34. I started writing this last night, but got called away. So, here it is, my expanded ‘meh’ on Indianna Jones:

    Well, Indy had potential and certainly had it’s moments. I think they needed to spend more time on the writing and story. Some elements just made no sense.

    Also, I think it was poorly edited. I don’t know if it’s ever really stood out like this to me before – scenes could have been cut a lot tighter and it would have worked better. Things were just drawn out and the various bits went on way too long. I think they could have easily cut 15 minutes or so and the movie would have been better for it.

    The time frame of 1957 with the Soviets replacing the Nazi’s as the baddies seemed more about taking an opportunity to tie that era’s McCarthyism to modern America. To me, it felt pretty heavy handed. The irony is is that, while McCarthyism was about the exaggerated fear that the Reds were everywhere, in the “reality” of the movie, it seemed like the KGB and Soviet Army were operating in America with impunity.

    I didn’t really get the point of the ending, it just seemed an opportunity for a big special effects show.

    And, while Shia Lebouf played his material well enough, his character was too obviously written for the potential of continuing the franchise with himself as the new lead. The plot gymnastics required for this made the overall story suffer.

  35. I watched Southland Tales yesterday … almost twice.
    Would it frighten you to know that I liked it? *

    BTW – I used Amazon Unbox to download it to my TiVo. I found the picture quality to be fine. Didn’t like the time limit too much (I “rented” the film) but the time limit varies with each film.


    * why yes, there was an asterisks after my statement but you’ll have to tune into the Slandapolooza to find out what it is.

  36. Joe, I too finshed Southland Tales yesterday. I had been watching in parts in the morning while getting ready for work (Colbert was in reruns this week).

    We started from the beginning yesterday afternoon so my wife could see what it was about. She walked out on it after about and hour and I finished it from there.

    I’m still digesting it.

  37. afternoon pan!

    It is a beautiful perfect 70F day in Chicago. We are sitting on our porch working on our tans waiting for Hugh’s sister and brother to get here with their gaggle of children and then we are going to go to the beach.

    ooo.. baby did you save them a parking space for their ginormous van?

    Hugh sez: yep

    Parking around here sucks ass. If we got someone coming who needs primo parking we scope it out and park our car on the street to hold spaces. We’ve got a 1 car garage that only the smallest car can manage to get itself into.

    anywho… we were thinking of panning in the sun while we waited.

  38. EssBee, I am glad you felt welcomed here 🙂 We are good people and we only bite when asked. May I bite you?

    Hugh sez: there she goes flirting with the newer deadpanites again

    🙂 heh. That is my job here Hugh. To flirt.

    Hugh sez: and you are doing an excellent job babe.

    Ed- we were thinking of going to see Indy this weekend with some of the older nieces/nephews… think they would like it? Like 12-15 yr olds?

    j0e I wait in bated breath for your slandapalooza review

  39. I’ve never wanted to be a mother, but I don’t look down on people who choose that for their life. To call it servitude is a bit much.
    I do feel that motherhoood requires quite a bit of selflessness, but you are never a servant to that role. I would think each person who decides to become a parent also decides on what that means to them, I imagine there are many women out there who feel they are a slave to their husband and children, but those women allowed themselves to be put into that position.. that position is not an inevitability of motherhood.

    Oh look at that.. Hugh’s fam just called they are a few blocks away. Time to do the car switcheroo, than head to the beach.

    We will be back at some point… have a great day pan

  40. Well the weather report says they will be heavy rain on Sunday and Monday.

    If I had a super power, control of the rain would be nice. However I fear I would be a villain and use the power to ruin every bank holiday with bad weather.

  41. TSH – On the violence level, I would rate it slightly more graphic than Iron Man. I can’t remember if you’ve seen that one yet for comparison. It is rated PG-13 and I think they do push it to a more violent level.

    As I think about it, it’s probably in line with what we saw in the original Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Nazi’s get melted and sucked into the ark. If you think the nieces and nephews could handle that, then they can handle this new one.

  42. She comes in colors evrywhere;
    She combs her hair
    Shes like a rainbow
    Coming, colors in the air
    Oh, everywhere
    She comes in colors

    She comes in colors evrywhere;
    She combs her hair
    Shes like a rainbow
    Coming, colors in the air
    Oh, everywhere
    She comes in colors

    Have you seen her dressed in blue?
    See the sky in front of you
    And her face is like a sail
    Speck of white so fair and pale
    Have you seen a lady fairer?

    She comes in colors evrywhere;
    She combs her hair
    Shes like a rainbow
    Coming, colors in the air
    Oh, everywhere
    She comes in colors

    Have you seen her all in gold?
    Like a queen in days of old
    She shoots her colors all around
    Like a sunset going down
    Have you seen a lady fairer?

    She comes in colors evrywhere;
    She combs her hair
    Shes like a rainbow
    Coming, colors in the air
    Oh, everywhere
    She comes in colors

    Shes like a rainbow
    Coming, colors in the air
    Oh, everywhere
    She comes in colors

  43. So ok – made a last minute decision to hit the Police concert (better not fucking rain, this is Phoenix for fuck’s sake); gonna miss game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

    I have seen lots of picks for the Pens.
    I’m definitely rooting for Pittsburgh, but I believe the Wings will win in 6.
    This is a matchup between 2 powerhouse teams, could make for a classic.

    Good afternoon, mush.

  44. The Police !
    very cool.

    I expect a full report. BTW – Tried to phone in the contents of someone ELSE’s refridgerator (I was at a party) but got busted before I could connect,

  45. *steps up on the Deadpan Soapbox*

    RE: Parenthood (especially motherhood) = Servitude.

    It is.
    No question about it. Many of us don’t want to admit it because we all have parents and don’t want to come to grips with the fact that to some extent they acted as our servants. Let’s face it … anyone who brings you your food and your clothes (that they have cleaned) and has to wiped your bottom and bath you is in fact your servant.

    Whether they are getting paid to do this or whether they are doing it out of love is merely semantics. The workload and the sacrifice are the same.

    Now, if the question is “Do you feel you are HAVING to do this … or do you WANT to do this?” That is simply NOT answerable on a generic level.
    One size life DOES NOT FIT ALL!

    While one person may find this to be their core reason for being … another just as intelligent, just as compassionate person may find it a barely endurable burden.

    Parenthood IS servitude. The degree to which you submit to it and the degree to which an individual feels about that servitude is handled in a million different but equally valid (from the aspect of human response) ways.

    It is not hard to imagine that the child of a parent who was outspoken about what a burden it was to have to raise a child … would then go out of their way to make sure their own child never felt the guilt that they themselves must have had to endure. I’d bet it’s not uncommon to find parent’s trying to re-create the childhood that they felt THEY never had.

    *steps back off soap box*

  46. I only disagree to the verbage. Servitude you can’t really walk away from, because you’re assuming a person is owned by their burdens. Responsibility on the other hand… Thats a choice no matter which way you split it.

    Everything else, I agree.

  47. Good evening Deadpan, I hope everyone had a good Saturday, and is enjoying their evening.

    And as promised, the drinking game rules I thought up for Southland Tales

    Southland Tales Drinking Game
    1. Take 2 drinks before starting movie, trust me it will help.
    2. ½ drink for gratuitous political reference or commentary through video or audio. 1 drink if you laugh at it.
    3. 1 drink when you feel bored with the movie
    4. 1 drink for when a character says something particularly dumb, only ½ a drink if it’s Sarah Michelle Geller
    5. 1 drink for when the bible is quoted or referred to
    6. 1 drink for pretentious dialogue
    7. 1 drink for a bad costume choice
    8. 2 drinks for midget sighting
    9. 1 drink for blood splatter
    10. 1 drink for bad animation, digital or regular
    11. 1 drink for product placement
    12. 1 drink for a poor music choice in the soundtrack
    13. 2 drinks for gratuitous voice over
    14. 2 drinks if you think the scene would be improved with muppets

    Hopefully they make sense since this is the first time I’ve done one of these.

  48. Iron Man was WAY fun!

    TSH: Bite away.

    jOe: I agree with you, and am like TSH in not wanting to be a mother personally.

    ditto: good Saturday!

    Okay, back to Saturday evening.

  49. The fun factor of the weekend has definitely dialed lower. Our second car is bleeding oil and it seems there is some internal engine damage. It didn’t seize, but the pinging sound means something isn’t firing right internally. If the bill goes north of $1500, well probably say screw it and get a new vehicle. =P What a way to start a three day weekend. Oh well.

    In better news I assembled our new trampoline that was purchased a few weeks back. The kids love it.

  50. Hey pan!

    mmmkay lemme see here…

    Ed- thanks for the Indy info. I think we will let the parents decide how much violence their children can see.

    Jack- enjoy your show! [singing] Every breath you take. Every move you make, I’ll be watching you [/singing]

    j0e- although on the surface I agree with your basic description there, the fact that all of that is choice makes it not servitude. Talk to a true slave and ask them if motherhood is the same thing than what they have experienced. Motherhood is completely a choice. and no thats not a political statement. The second a woman has sex with an unprotected man she is agreeing to the possibility of that role. ESPECIALLY if her moral fiber includes the idea that once she is pregnant she is in it for the long haul. Sex is a responsibility and parenting is the reason it is so. Thats not servitude. Anyway you look at at: Feeding and clothing someone you can hand off to someone else to do that to is not servitude. Having a close family where you are all instrumental in raising the children of that family is not servitude. Having a child and putting it in a cage is not servitude. Having a child and putting it in daycare for most of the day is not servitude. Loving your children and your family is NOT servitude.
    If Hugh ever came into the position where he needed to be fed, clothed and bathed by me I would sure as hell fucking do it and I don’t see that as servitude either.
    Finally I agree totally with your last statement about the child recreating their childhood with their own children

    LOstRalph- I can’t wait to watch Southland Tales with those drinking rules now!

    ditto- sorry you had a bad Saturday 🙁

    EssBee – *bite*

    Rhett – Car=boo, trampoline=yay!

    JB- I will talk to the offending CTA bus for you, what the hell was it doing joyriding in Saint Paul? Stupid buses.

    Didi I get everything

    Hugh sez: yeah babe


  51. [suburbia] I hate buses [/suburbia]

    Who do you think will get our obscure punk rock reference there Hughie?

    Hughie sez: Jack has seen Suburbia right?

    Yep, I’m not sure who else.

    Hughie sez: Weneeds to watch that again

    and you call ME the masochist

    Hughie sez: 🙂

    Suburbia should be the next Deadpanpalooza

    Hughie sez: babe everyone will fucking hate you for making them watch that movie

    LOL 🙂 true dat

  52. I remember absolutely nothing about Suburbia, except watching it with real-life punk rock girls and going, “Hey, that’s Flea!”

    Police concert was fantexcellent. Sting hasn’t lost one shred of his vocal ability. There were 3 important songs omitted: Spirits in the Material World, Synchronicity I and Synchronicity II. I believe the first 2 were cut because of their keyboard requirements, but no idea why they’d skip Synchronicity II. Gordon has some explaining to do. That’s not a gripe, though. They didn’t play a single bad song, and did some excellent jams on Roxanne and Can’t Stand Losing You. Wrapped Around Your Finger was awesome.
    Sting is well past his greased-up Feyd Rautha days, but I think Stewart Copeland had been preserved in formaldehyde since 1984.
    Elvis Costello did a decent job opening up too.

    That’s my report.

  53. Well, we just got back from an early matinée of the new Narnia movie. Definitely better than Indiana Jones, IMHO. Took both the kids. My 7 year old greatly enjoyed it and was able to keep up with the story and action. Alas, it proved too long and not shiny enough for my 3 yr old, so my wife spent a good bit of time taking him out into the lobby.

    Found out the AMC theaters here run a bargain matinee for $5 for any showing before noon on Fri, Sat, Sun, and holidays. That’s about a decent price for a movie ticket, I think.

    Oh, and this one is definitely not the “white male action hero and his eye candy damsel in distress” formula. Susan in particular (the oldest of the two girls) is a strong character role model for the girls, I think.

  54. Morning Pan, up on a rainy morning in Longmont.

    I’ve got short ribs rubbed in the fridge – 1/2 with my 4-3-2-1 recipe and 1/2 with a mustard dry-rub I’m trying out for the first time – and hickory chips soaking. I’m going to try to smoke them in the rain. Start cooking at 8:00 means BBQ at 1:00. My illegal gay brother-in-law and his family are coming for lunch today.

    Ed, thanks for the recommendation on Prince Caspian. I haven’t seen the 1st film yet, but have it here to watch today.

  55. Morning Pan!

    Flood warnings in effect for the Bow and Elbow rivers so beware if you live near their banks.

  56. Ok, going back over some of the past comments. Re: Parenthood = servitude.

    I would often tell my girls I was only the three C’s as far as they were concerned…

    … cooking, cleaning, and cash machine 🙂

    (usually I said that when I was ticked off at them for something or other)

  57. You make plans till the cows come home, but in my experience you never know how you will react when the shit hits the fan.

    That goes for parenting, a spouse getting seriously ill, etc. etc…..

  58. TEB – Re: the thee Cs – being able to say this with a smile is why any of us were allowed to live to adult … er, what ever stage of development we have arrested at. But it’s one of those “funny ’cause it’s true” things.

    Smooth as Buttah – Re:4-3-2-1 Please self-refer to the Monte Python “Holy Hand Grenade” sketch as I haven’t had my coffee yet and am not up to “presentation speed” yet.

    We all gotta duck, when Van’s can hits the fan!

  59. /Rant

    Some guy on Skype is driving me nuts!!!!

    So far he tried to get me to add him to my contacts. When I refused because I didn’t know who he was, he tried calling me, then he tried IM me, now he’s trying to call me again!

    I don’t mind talking on Skype (actually I enjoy it), but only if I know who you are. I hate it when complete strangers try stalking me.

    /end rant

  60. Ahhh, Bow River is so pretty. At least when it’s not threatening to overrun its banks, I suppose.

    Sorry you have a Skype barnacle, TEB.

  61. I find that I occasionally get pinged by people I don’t know on Skype. Usually it’s by other people who live in Calgary (must just do a search on the city), but sometimes it’s the very strange SWM (or even SWF) looking for fun. I could never understand that.

  62. J0e, I wish there was a destroy function. I always tell people if they want to Skype me, make sure I know who you are in the opening message or there’s a very good chance you’ll be refused 🙂

  63. 4 T sweet paprika
    4 T Kosher salt
    4 T garlic powder
    4 T black pepper

    TEB, tell that Skype fool to piss off.

    Hope everyone is having a good, non-floody day. It’s actually COLD here today, but the smoker is still smoking so, I can’t complain much.

    I just remembered that Andromeda Strain starts on A&E tonight, so must go set the DVR to record it.

  64. People seem to occasionally want to try to label folks one meets on the internet as “imaginary” or “unreal,” and it always puzzles me…

  65. SInce it is Memorial Day here in the states I thought I’d take a moment to mention my Grandmother’s brothers – Wilbur and Stanley.

    They were born in Ohio (or Indiana – isn’t clear to me) so I guess that makes them midwestern farm boys.

    Wilbur joined the Navy and was in what is now called the Seabees. He died when his under water breathing equipment failed.

    Stanley joined the Army and was killed in France. He was shot by a sniper as he road in the back of a jeep … 2 days after the war in Europe had ended.

    Lot’s of people have served in the military and certainly lots have died so I don’t mean to raise these two up as more special then anyone else. They were family though and my Grandmother still really misses them. They were just a couple of farm boys who stepped up when it was needed so I thought that mentioning them was the least I could do.

    If you have room for an extra toast today, may be you can raise a glass to Wilbur and Stanley and to those who still miss them.

  66. So back from seeing Indy 4 (no roman numerals it’s the 00’s for goodness sake).

    Can’t disagree with Ed’s criticisms other than they didn’t stop me from enjoying the movie (the plot is S-I-L-L-Y). Nice to see the man with the hat is back.

    The local arty farty cinema has been renovated and very nice it is too, even the toilets have been enlarged…so less queuing.

  67. The UK equivalent of Memorial day happens in November (Remembrance Sunday is on the 9th this year) and it isn’t a bank holiday.

    Most of my parents family survived WW2, although one Uncle was killed in the Atlantic when the ship he was serving on was torpedoed by a U-boat.

  68. My grandmother’s 2nd husband fought in WWI, I remember the American flag over his casket at his wake.
    One of my best friends growing up was deployed to Afghanistan. He came home and became a metro.
    That’s about it for me, but both worth noting.

    Shoobeedoo whop whop wow yeah.

  69. Good Memorial Day afternoon, Pan. Spent the day with the extended family enjoying just about perfect weather.

    My family has been fortunate as I’m not aware of any who have served that have died in war. I’m grateful for that and I’m grateful for all those who have given their lives so that I’m free today to be Deadpan.

  70. I just got done with Balticon… It was very cool. I got meet alot of people Tee even kind of knew who I was. It was little creepy that very time I said farpoint people looked like I was talking about the dead.

    Either that hate farpoint post Evo or they feel burned by Podango. I feel like have been riding a dead horse by pimping and following Farpoint show. I feel like have to dump my friend to me part of podcasting. I not alone when I say most of my friends postcaters. I hate to pick or not even get to talk about some friend around other friends.

    Still very one is very nice to me. I just wish we could all be friends.

  71. I saw the first part of the new Andromeda Strain. Wow. Uh…. Hmmm. It sure seemed like they didn’t have any science or military advisers on staff. There were some interesting moments, but for the most part, my wife & I kept stopping the DVR about every 10 minutes to talk about all the things they got wrong.

  72. Got the new Andromeda strain a while back, I quit after the first part.

    Morning Pan, much cooler today, and off to work I go.

    A shame about FPM TO.

  73. Morning Pan!

    Got hit with a massive amount of work late yesterday. Looks like a long day in front of the computer today.

  74. But I find the following quote a bit disturbing:

    “She never complains, even though passengers touch her all over the place.”

    Must be a few cat fondler’s in Japan…

  75. Big concert weekend for me. Rhett and I went to see Iron Maiden last night at the Cricket Pavilion. (I see you snickering – – they put on an incredible show!)
    Great great stuff.

    Hope everyone enjoyed their weekends. . . .

  76. Ballads? I don’t remember any ballads. LOL

    Honestly, one the most entertaining shows I’ve been too. And technically, it’s NWOBHM not “hair” metal in this case.


    There was a lack of tiny stone henges, but there was a 15 foot tall zombie shooting band members toward the end. Oh and things on fire! wOOt!

  77. Jack decryed that the last time he saw Maiden, they didn’t perform “Aces High.” Guess what the first song of their set list was yesterday. LOL

  78. Van: You may be right, but fans of “Watchmen” have long wondered if the Black Freighter storyline would be part of the film or not. It’s an important part of the story, but it would be way too hard to incorporate it into the film. So, this DVD release is really just for die-hard fans.

  79. Yes, and I expect it will be included in some “special” collection. But for those that want to watch it when the movie itself is released….

  80. Actually, I think my car’s clock read 6:24 when I arrived at Rhett’s house.

    There was still plenty of time to get a burger and buy a t-shirt before Maiden went on.

  81. Let’s play the twitter game!

    I will say something really obscure and clearly snarky and directed at someone, and be mad, but never say what or who it’s all about. And then you try to guess what is going on and kiss my ass. Or I will say something like *headdesk* and you can direct message me and make me feel important.

    Ready go!

    Twitter is really really funny today.

  82. EssBee: No I mean funny as in the usual sycophants are slapping each other today. And it is HILARIOUS to watch bitches bitchslap.

    Stupid bitches.

  83. Right.
    Twitter rule #1
    Never let anyone know exactly WTF you are talking about. It makes you more mysterious and attracts more inquiries.

  84. OHHH yea!
    Forgot about the *facepalm*

    Good one!

    It is clearly time to sloth out on my awesome couch…..zzzzzzzZzzZzzZZzzzz

  85. I’m amybowen on Twitter, and I try not to be grumpy on there. When I am grumpy on Twitter, it’s always because of work, never because of other people on Twitter.

  86. I just got home from the Evil Empire, AKA Deathstar. Wow, what a craptastic job. Have I told you, Pan, that I work middle-management in the publishing industry?

    I think that when I grow up, I will switch jobs and work somewhere in the substance abuse recovery field.

  87. Whoa. It’s Leann. It’s like I spoke her name and she was there.

    FYI: Trucker talks funny because he’s got Menengasia and he’s on the road so his wife can’t edit for him.

    Also: Twitter is for stupid people. I’m surprised my mother isn’t on there. I don’t understand why Dani continues to bitch about the Obama fans on Twitter when clearly you can delete the fuckers and just listen to the other idiots you want to listen to. And I told her this and she’s like “But its a great way to connect with my listeners!” And its like, well clearly you hate your listeners, or you are without logic. Which is what I’m going with. She is definately without logic when it comes to Twitter.

    Maybe that will be the first segment for Brain Bleach. Hamlet, as translated through Twitter. Including the 140 character limit.

    Or maybe ten thousand years from now when Mankind is praying to the Twitter God for deliverence, and we get the vision of a little bird in the sky saying “Sorry, down for maintenance for a bit… Be back soon!”

  88. Sounds better than my bottomrung deadend media duplication job. I figure I’ll grow up fast when the rug gets pulled out and I’m forced to take the next job that I get.

  89. So 4runner repair – $4400. The conservative value of the 4runner if it was in working condition – 10K. I’m starting to think the best option it to have it fixed, then put it up for sale for 9K, pay off the credit card and use the difference for a down payment on a brand new car. What a pain in the ass. *headdesk*

  90. Well, Dubshack, just let me offer to have Brain Bleach at the top of my list of shows that I shall promise to get around to making content for, but rarely, if ever, delivering. There’s a vacancy on that list of late anyhow…

  91. If I were to whip out a *headdesk* would someone here smack me down with a *footass?*

    I think it would be a precedent worth establishing.

  92. Well… If you are in say… Spokane ferinstance, and the people you wish to stab are… somewhere in the Carolinas or Florida hypothetically, then no, no trouble at all. If you find yourself on the line with a travel agent, then that would be worse, I guess.

    But do try not to spread too much name-naming around, it only spreads taint to those blissfully unaware of taints, in some cases.

  93. I’m so sick of hearing this stupid Obsidian thing I just unfriended Mr. Hutchin’s. Take that New Media! Yeah! Fuck you!


  94. I’m sorry my last message was unclear. Some people of noticed the attrition rate of farpoint media shows. Simply put all pod casts are in flux and it has nothing to do with farpoint media. Although I will say at Balticon it seemed like many shows did not want to acknowledge being part of farpoint media. The one view is that Podango is the problem. Others simply refuse to listen to shows without Evo. He left just as I was starting to really get into the shows. I know it’s a big change but personally I’m tired of hearing people crab about how a show changes. Yes, it’s sad. But it’s still life. It is a little bit annoying that there isn’t a singular home for all the podcaster’s. Unfortunately this is inevitable. I think many people on the show might find the following panel I attended with my friends Susan and Biscuit enlightening. I recorded it and it’s on geek radio daily.


  95. J0e: Nope *penisdesk* is perfectly appropriate especially at my house, all because of my check your pants at the door policy.

    And HulkDub: you are going to blow a gasket, it is far more fun to sit back and watch quietly, and just give that all knowing Arsenio Hall nod.

  96. As a matter of fact, I think that is what should be said from now on, no more *facepalm* *headdesk* bullshit.

    Wasn’t there a comedian who did some funny skit about a dick and a table, or am I just making shit up again?

  97. If you guys haven’t listened to this 5 minute audio bit from Wired’s Alt text PLEASE do so.


    It is titled “Twitter Your Life Away With Social Networking” and should provide the ironic comic relief that YOU NEED right about now.

    Do it for the children. (No, I don’t know which children but it is an election year so you are allowed to throw out completely useless but heartfelt lines that involve children).

  98. So are we social networking here?

    Are we networking this social scene?

    This is pretty funny J0e. 🙂

    HEY! He made fun of GeighJournal! I have a GeighJournal dammit!

    HAHAHAHAHAH, he tweets about hashbrowns. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  99. We saw a guy at the pool this weekend who was batshit crazy, talking on his phone really really loudly, but that wasn’t the worst part.

    Speedo guy insisted on standing around in the Captain Morgan’s stance….yea.

    And insisted on bending over at the waist RIGHT at us…..the knees people, bend at the knees.

  100. Jack is on the phone receiving updates about the happenings as of late.

    He says to tell all of you he is scared to get caught up.

  101. Good evening deadpan, yet another busy day, at least it was at the office and not on the road.

    Ed: Yes, that list would lead to alot of drinks while watching Southland Tales, feel free to edit where necessary.

    So would this condition be the new definition of twitterpated?

  102. Is greendonkus some sort of, er, social disease. is that what this whole social media thing is bringing us? Greendonkus?

  103. Penispenispenispenispenispenispenis

  104. WNDRWolf aka The Master of Patience Says:

    May 27th, 2008 at 7:48 am
    JaJ – Man I am going to need my fix…. Don’t leave me hangin’ like this!

    is “JaJ” that me?

    I am working on part 11 “Doorways” now.

  105. Can’t remember I passed this earbud along before, but….
    Red Sparowes
    From Wiki: “Their sound is characteristic of soundscape-influenced experimental rock, with an otherwise uncommon extensive use of a pedal steel guitar.”

    Basically, it’s good, moody, ambient rock.

  106. Nope Trucker – that twould be me.

    eyebuds – just finished watching “The Life Aquatic”. A very bitter/sweet surreal dark comedy. That is all.

    Goodnight Deadpan. Goodnight penis. Goodnight Mush.

  107. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!

    That went all over my head.

    Maybe the hulk is just compensating for having a small package.

  108. Twitter – looked at that site once and never went back, and I hope to keep it that way.

    I did consider 1 good use for Twitter- if you were a recovering addict in an anonymous program and you needed that 24/7 support, you and your sponsor could Twitter each other all day since it is free. A recovering addict friend of mine was telling me about how his sponsor would text message him all day to check on him and he was saying how expensive his cell phone bill got. I thought Twiter could be a good alternative to that.

    This site is the only posting about myself your gonna get and thats just cause I feel comfortable around some of you. I mean shit I am paranoid as hell about my photography being online.. I feel exposed enough online as it is!

    I wouldn’t stalk Twitter either because no one is that interesting to me

    Hugh sez: you liar. If Trent Reznor or Greg Dulli twittered you would be addicted to his twitter page.

    LOL.. you do have a point baby. But those people are actually rock stars, they do rock star things. I would be interested to see when Trent twitters that he has a new album coming out not when he goes to pee.

    Hugh sez2: I call liar again. I can hear you now: Oh Hugh, Trent is peeing!!!!!

    LOL2. Fuck you Hugh

    Hugh sez3: yes ma’am. Ready to fuck when you are.

    and Greg already tells us what he is doing, so I wouldn’t need to follow his twitter page

    Hugh sez4: I don’t buy it. [fake Andrea swoony voice] Hughie, Greg is peeing!!!! [/fake Andrea swoony voice]

  109. ok Hugh and I were just figuring out our online exposure

    Deadpan – I tell you people too much

    email – ok really there is some truly sensitive Smarty Hottie info circulating via emails. I would hate to think someone is reading them.

    flickr – for all you Hugh and Dre nekkid pictures

    Shopping – Books, wonderful kinky things, contact lenses, medicines, music, clothes, housewears, shoes, etc, etc.. Identity theft waiting to happen.

    Stock market – our market net worth can be accessed online

    Banking – our liquid net worth could be accessed and removed

    Porn – someone could fnd out all of Hugh’s sick perversions if they checked his porn sites

    methinks that it

    Hugh sez: shit we are so exposed!!

  110. ok enough if that conversation.

    ditto, thanks for the earbud- we’re gonna check em out

    Hugh and I went to a midnight viewing of Indy4 at the half off movies and free popcorn on Tuesday nights theater here tonight.
    Then we went to a late night diner and had some pie 🙂

    wethinks it was fun mindless entertainment and enjoyed ourselves. The Russian sterotypes were a bit strong but I guess it was supposed to be the 50s.. but they were pretty stereotypical.

    wealsothinks Shia Lewhateverthefuckhisnameis isn’t suave enough to take over as Indy. Harrison Ford is one suave mo’fo.

    I would do Harrison Ford in a heartbeat

    Hugh sez: If Harrison Ford wanted to do me I might think about it for a few seconds


    night pan, night mush

  111. The family watched the new “National Treasure 2” on DVD last night. Must confess, enjoyed it more than Indy 4.

    Both are silly stories about the search for the lost city of gold. NT2 seemed to have more fun with itself and it’s hard to go wrong with Nicholas Cage in such roles.

  112. Dude, you’re a f*cking programmer. LOL

    There’s probably a more elegant way, but I would start Audacity, import-audio-MP3, then open a second instance of Audacity, import-audio-MP3, edit – select all copy, then go back to the first instance, and paste – save as ….

    Think of it in the same way as copying and pasting text between Word documents and you have the working basics.

  113. Re: audio programs
    Audacity (for as much as it blows … and not in that GOOD way) was waay easier to figure out for me the Garage Band. I gave both a half an hour and was able to produce with Audacity in that period of time. I still don’t know how to use Garage Band.

    I like cheese.

  114. It’s not time critical, but I’ve been swamped with other things and it’s been sitting there. Basically, I just want to get it out of the way. It’s a 2.5 hour recording that got broken into 4 parts. Two parts are fairly large: 87MB and 56MB.

  115. Yep. Leann is the mack mamma Garage Band editor – she improvised together some great stuff – in minutes – on Deadpan nights. (I’m talking about audio bits, you…..) But of course, if you don’t have a Mac, you can’t use GB.

    You’d also need the LAME encoder for Audacity if you wanted to export your audio as an mp3. Yes, it’s really called the LAME encoder. Then, it’s just a matter of selecting your audio and cut/pasting it together in your Audacity window.

  116. I hate when the I.T department moves the “furniture” around over a holiday weekend. I can’t tell you how many times I have tripped over the couch.

  117. hello and guess whom. dont worry if you dont remember me, you dont have to.

    i was at balticon 42 hanging with the podcast contingent and thought a lot about the ‘old’ days. i’m considering returning to the mike (well, as soon as i move the hell out of dads house and back on my own again) and i might as well catch up with your shows since i am like 50+ behind?

    either way…glad to see you doing what you do 🙂

  118. That would be a faux four hundred. LOL Welcome back Systris, it’s good to see you again. We need more people behind the mike.

  119. Funnily enough, I don’t think my wife would let me room with you, but If I pull my crap together, perhaps I’ll see you there.

  120. Er, not meant to offend. Actually probably says worse about me.

    Uh, anyone know a good way to get this toenail of mine out from between my teeth?

  121. JB: thanks! Holy crap that was LONG ago. in a galaxy/state/fucked up/Georgia away…..

    actually I JUST did some stuff for Holyfield….and I soo need to hook my shit back up this internal mic ain’t gettin it.

    I am such an audio brat.

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