Jack Mangan's Deadpan #93: The Archaeologist's Mystery

Laz Sho Not

Podcast delivery
Heat Miser Soze
Joe Test Post 1-6
Dragonlance Canticle Podcast Promo
Andrea Smarty Hottie Test Post 7
Amy Bowen Travel Update #1
J0e Test 8-9
Andrea Smarty Hottie 10-12
J0e 13-14
Stolen Paragraphs
::::::::Tee Morris reads Wil Wheaton (part 1)
Disgruntled Scientist Deadpan bumper
Amy Bowen Travel Update #2
SP::::::Tee Morris reads Wil Wheaton (part 2)
Mystery Woman’s Deadpan bumper
Vanamonde’s –
Andrea Smarty Hottie 15-17
J0e 18
– Breakfast
Andrea Smarty Hottie 19-20
J0e 21
– Routine
Zoidberg Deadpan Bumper
Gr –
Andrea Smarty Hottie 22-23
– easy Spoon Comments
Ash Deadpan Bumper
Amy Bowen Travel Update #3
Trucker Overdrive’s Podtaint Reaction + bonus Spherical Tomi and Duel of the Fates reactions
Broken English newsflash
poetfox Deadpan bumper
haiku Deadpan bumper
Amy Bowen Travel Update #4
Energizer Bunny Voicemail
Deadpanpalooza III Vote results. The winner is. . . .
Greasy Jelly Bean game results
Original music: Pixie

489 thoughts on “Jack Mangan's Deadpan #93: The Archaeologist's Mystery

  1. Went out to shovel the walk 🙁 The deer were obviously playing in the front yard again. Left footprints and little presents everywhere.

    (on a different note: I refuse to be funny until it warms up around here)

  2. Due to time constraints … WI is one of the podcasts I have had to put back in stasis.
    I think I have listened to 2 of them since January. :/

    Care to list who has been receiving the slamage …

  3. I find WI hit and miss for me. Sometimes they get into drunken rants that don’t work for me.

    It’s not always fun to laugh at the funny drunks. 😀

  4. Oh, hi Dub.
    Somewhere around here I have an e-mail I started with input from your last show … or was it 2 shows ago.
    crap, I can’t remember. Let’s see if I can find it.

  5. When WI is a bunch of geeks chatting about geekiness, it’s a lot of fun.

    When it’s a drunken rampage that gets into tirades of politics, religion, scatolgoy, and really crude sexual “humor” – then it pretty well sucks.

    Mennenga is not usually a happy drunk, I’m afraid.

  6. I hope it’s not my podtaint talking. I can’t help but think that your choose your own adventure episode was in reference to my podcast. If it was I’m truly touched. If it wasn’t that was really cool and you’ll be hearing from my lawyer! 😉

    Jack Mangan is not your rolling wheels he is the mother fucking “DEAD PAN” way.

  7. And I must brag about my first round picks! 7 of 8 correct! And I even did pretty well with the number of games!

    Canadiens-Bruins. Les Habs in 7. (Habs won in 7)
    Penguins-Senators. Pens in 5. (Pens won in 4)
    Capitals-Flyers. Flyers in 7. (Flyers won in 7)
    Devils-Rangers. Rangers in 5. (Rangers won in 5. grrr)

    Red Wings-Predators. Wings in 5. (Wings won in 6)
    Sharks-Flames. Sharks in 6. (Sharks won in 7)
    Wild-Avalanche. Avalanche in 6. (Avalanche won in 6)
    Ducks-Stars. Ducks in 7. (Stars won in 6)

    OK, I’m done. I’ll post 2nd round picks later.

  8. As for WI, it’s more a general impression that I get. The humor isn’t quite as light-hearted as it used to be; too many drunken rants; open mocking of certain people; and too much one-up-man-ship-cuz-I’m-better-than-you. The latest exchange between Tim and Brian was a perfect example.

  9. Same here with WI. The past couple episodes just weren’t that funny and this last one was almost uncomfortable. I thought Tim and Brian were going to go at it. This week really soured me on the podcast. But I’ll keep it in my queue as I’ve trimmed a few other podcasts so I have room for it. But if it keeps going down hill like this I may give up on it.

  10. Go Wings!!

    I changed my background at work to Ozzy vs. Roy fight to get in the mood. Too bad Roy isn’t still there, my wife liked to poke pins in the Patrick Roy voodoo doll. 🙂

  11. So my 5+ yr old Creative Zen MP3 player looks to finally be giving up the ghost. So I’m looking for a replacement.

    I’m looking at the Zune 80gb which got the editors choice at PCMagazine. Any experience with this Zune?

    And no recommendations for an Ipod. I hate Itunes and will not use an Ipod. 🙂

  12. Well I think Jack’s annoyance at CYOAs went way over my head. They don’t seem any more unfair than playing Dragon’s Lair or the text adventures on computers in the early 80’s.

    Yeah I’m probably missing the point.

  13. The world seems to be heading to media players rather than just music, so you are probably better off getting the Zune if you dislike itunes enough.

  14. I agree with Ed. Wingin It has been pretty much hit or miss lately. What do I miss? I miss the pinnicle of fan contribution in the voice mail shows like this superior example.


    Wingin It is best when it’s light hearted and funny. The long winded bitchfest, even if it is in the right, gets pretty tiring the tenth time you hear it. That’s not to say the team is lacking when it comes to comical insight. I’ve never laughed harder than at the last Farpoint Fest with Brian making jokes in the car. What it’s failing to do, in my opinion, is to inspire creative people to submit funny grade-A material. Big and Tasty hasn’t replaced the likes of Karen from Kalifornia, Alvie, Jeremy or Phillip from Australia, not by a long shot. I’m said to say that Joe really was the one who brought the love of all things geeky to the series.

    On the plus side, I have really been liking Slice lately. Especially if Crazy Joe is on. He adds the much need eliment of silly but smart humour.

  15. I dunno. We’ve all ready been through the pod-taint thing and even if Jack didn’t mean it for those guys, it certainly applies. There have been plenty of private conversations that fit the bill. The only thing I really have to point out is that even in the end when they claimed “It was all the alcohol,” during that whole blowup between Brian and Tim Brian admitted he was only drinking ice tea. So I dunno how stupid they want to believe we are thinking that what happened there isn’t any reflection on whats really happening behind the scenes. But we’re not behind the scenes so what does it matter. I wouldn’t blame anyone for not wanting to tune in to that show anymore.

    It’s actually given me second thoughts about bringing FPR back. I really don’t know if I want to be associated with these people any more if they’re going to constantly act like that. It’s like Jack says, this is fun time for us, and when it ceases being fun its time to move on to something that is.

  16. And personally I thought the best of WI was that summer when Evo was away and it was Jack and Mike running the show. And then Evo came back and Jeremy from Seattle and Andrea started sending in content. That whole period there was right at the top.

  17. I guess I need to listen to the latest episode. Brian and Tim have always be gracious when I’ve attended, and there is no denying there vast wealth of literary knowledge. Mike and Lorrie are some of nicest people you would happen to meet. Same goes for Evo and Sheila. I haven’t been privey to their private lives lately, but it’s possible that their current life situations could be making them cranky and WI is becoming their place to vent. I’ve seen that happen a couple of times. But they are people after all.

  18. Jack as Evo 2.0 was hilarious! But that time just before Serenity came out in theaters, pure magic. Evo’s “Well, Wash dies!” joke is one I will never forget. Plus I miss the cheesy theme music, “What are they doing in all those Pods!”

  19. I agree with you guys on WI – I’ve pissed off my share of folks there with comments on the site. I am a big admirer of Mike and Summer, and think Brian is a kind person.

  20. I’m back from errands.

    Thanks for the plug, Jack!

    Last week, my daughter got two snakes who promptly escaped. Never one to give up, she got another one. I wonder how many I’m going to have in my walls before she gives up…

  21. If the three Wingin It incarnations where comedians:

    Dragon Page Wingin It would be Steven Wright

    Michael and Evo’s Wingin It would be Dave Chappelle


    Wingin It 3d would be David Spade.

  22. If you got the notion, I sixth that emoticon?

    I have great memories of those Saturdays at the studio, recording Wingin’ It! I wish the WI guys the best, and it seems like they’ve got a bunch of new listeners, as well as faithful longtimers like Thomas and ComputerKing, so their formula is working, on some level. I can’t criticize, because I haven’t listened in a loooonnng time.

    Is TEB gonna get boobed? I think I might actually pick the Stars to beat the Sharks. Still on the fence. The Sharks are ridiculously talented, but not very tough.

  23. Yep, David Spade. Very funny at times, sometimes his satire is a little to biting for some.

    I’m listening to the current Wingin It VM show and I have to say, it’s pretty funny so far. The caller that has called in with the Fargo accent has raised the bar.

  24. I’d say thats not entirely fair Rhett. David Spade has at least done a FEW funny movies.

    I’d say it’s more like Dennis Miller. Used to be hilarious as all hell, but now he’s mostly forgotten and the people that do know him hate his ass because he’s a Republican and does serious talk radio.

  25. I meant David Spade for his stand up material not his movies. LOL Sometimes David Spade is very funny, other times not, just like WI3d.

  26. Well, Pan, I will be out of pocket for 3 or 4 days. My partner’s grandpa died, so we’re headed to Southwestern Colorado for the funeral early tomorrow.

    I’ll miss the fun!

  27. Wee, doggie! I finally got to listen to this week’s WI this afternoon. I don’t know how much more of that I can take.

    Somebody make sure those guys get a decent meal before they start drinking and recording!

  28. Hi new pan!

    just boobing over the days comments…

    Re boobs:
    I love boobs, especially my own. Boobs IS a verb.
    Actually yesterday when Hugh was minding his manners in front of his mommy he called me a boob instead of a bitch like he really wanted to 🙂 I was being a good bitch not a bad bitch, but a bitch none the less 🙂

    Re wingin it
    Haven’t listened since it changed to 3d. For me the best time was when they had the balance of personalities. There were some amazing moments of comedy gold between Mike, Evo, Joe and Jack.

    EssBee – sorry for your loss, hope the journey there is free of problems and you take care of yourself, and your partner 🙂

  29. So last night I mentioned vampire porn, tonight I will discuss my fav vampire show which is coming back tonight!!!

    I just found out Moonlight’s 2nd season is boobing up tomorrow night! Or I mean tonight, or whatever fucking day it is. It starts Friday night.
    We have not watched all the new shows from last season yet..Chuck, Reaper, Supernatural and whatever else, but we got instantly hooked on Moonlight.
    When I happened to glance a commercial for it today I boobed!

  30. I think only ditto reads comics on here, but did anyone see the new Firefly comic that came out?? I forgot to mention this a couple months back when I saw it announced in the previews book.

    I get my main comics delivered to my home once a month, and as with everything in my life I am way behind on my comic reading. But I finally opened my box for last months comics today. As I looked through the comics, my Firefly comic was there!

  31. speaking of comics, there are a few really good new titles.. well new to me, as I said I am way behind.

    Today Hugh and I watched the season premiere of BSG. I am not a fan of Starbuck and hate to say I liked it better when she was gone 🙂

    Ok, thats all you get from me.
    Hugh just went to sleep and I thought I would check my email before passing out myself.

    night hugh
    night mush
    night pan

  32. Nooooo! Not Jack Magnummmmmm! Who’s Jack Magnum?

    Finally got to listen to DP93 on the drive in. A fine return to Deadpan Form.

    Though, I never could get that treasure map. I must have died 52 times choosing the wrong path…..

    Oh, and HI AMY! Glad you enjoyed your too brief visit to my fair state.

  33. Yea for Comics! (Oh, all right “Graphic Novels” … geesh!)

    I used to follow several of them and although life has taken me away from that area of fun … I still have aspirations of getting back into comics someday.

    So, please – by all means – I hope that all you comic readers will continue to share you reading list and reviews with us. Keeps the spark alive. 🙂

  34. And…. I believe that Jack is being a heat miser, given the lack of we’ve been experiencing here in Alberta 🙂

  35. TSH: Yep, I picked up “Serenity: Better Days” as soon as I saw it. I’ve not been buying many comics lately since I’m very pissed off with DC & Marvel.

    Magnum? Mangan? Is Jack going to be chased by dobermans while Dub yells “OH. MY. GOD. MANGAN!”?

  36. Okay, I finally listened to this week’s WI and the voice mail show. I found the voice mail show pretty good over all and I have to admit that I did laugh a few times listening to the main show.

    The positives: Some good user generated content. Yooper’s bit made me laugh and the rap song was pretty funny as well.

    The negatives: The F-bomb sort of lost it’s shock value prior to WI3d, and it was over used here. They need to get to more light hearted/geeky content more often.

  37. Essbee: Sorry for your partner’s loss, safe travels.

    TEB: I picked up the NWN2 expansion, Mask of the Betrayor last night from Target. It was only $13. I guess I need to finish the first one. LOL

    I might actually be completely caught up with Battlestar tonight. I can get spoilerific after that. 🙂

  38. Rhettro, I couldn’t finish the NWN2 expansion. It kept crashing about half way through. There have been some updates, but it still crashes.

  39. That’s too bad. With the recent updates NWN2 was quite stable on my machine, but I need to transfer it over (along with my savegame files) to my newer faster machine. I’m going to attempt that this weekend.

  40. Oh, and we’re supposed to have a high of 100 degrees on Monday. You’re welcome to take 20 degrees of that to warm yourself up. 😉

  41. We’re supposed to reach about 9 tomorrow and 14 on Sunday and Monday (60ish? I think). So there’s hope for us yet.

  42. So I had some Jehovah’s Witnesses show up at my door this last weekend. The lady informed me that I may have heard of Armaggedon, but it wasn’t something that shouldn’t be feared. Since when do did the Jehovah’s become apologists for Ben Affleck’s acting ability?

  43. Sad to say that my active comic phase was when I was 12 years old until 14. I followed XMEN and ROM. Then I never really got back into it. Patman bought me Kingdom Come as a gift and I enjoyed it. I still want to read Watchmen, but it’s hard to find the time for more than a couple of hobbies when you’re child rearing.

  44. Oh man, I just got caught up on all the ZeroPunctuation reviews. I think my side hurts from laughing. Top honors to the Turok and Zack and Wiki reviews. “Offensively Japenese,” that was great.

  45. Del Toro kind of looks like a hobbit. I never read “The Hobbit,” but from what I understand, it’s somewhat of a comedy. I’m sure Del Toro will give the film visual flair. I wonder if he can convey the humor? Hellboy had it’s funny moments I suppose.

    Yeah, same here Ed. I’ve been one of the Wingin It faithful for a long time. I still plan on attending the pool party as well as future WI episodes. I guess the way the show developes will determine if I stay current or only listen to the occation episode.

  46. Holden: You look down and see an ent. It’s crawling toward you…
    Bilbo Ent? What’s that?
    Holden: You know what a tree monster is?
    Bilbo: Of course!
    Holden: Same thing.
    Bilbo: I’ve never seen a tree monster. (pause) But I understand what you mean.
    Holden: You reach up and you light the ent on fire, Bilbo.
    Bilbo: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or did you lose your save verses asshole?
    Holden: The ent lies in flames, its belly baking, beating its limbs trying to put itself out, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.
    Holden: I mean you’re not helping! Why is that, Bilbo?
    [Bilbo has become visibly shaken]
    Holden: They’re just questions, Biblo. In answer to your query I’ve always been an asshole. It’s a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. (pause) Shall we continue?

  47. Okay BSG fans, a challenge.

    Go on ebay, look on abebooks, etc, and try and get your hands on The Fall of Chronopolis by Barrington J Bayley.

    Would make a good ending for series, everything dissolving into Chaos and then everybody swapping roles.

  48. I will Van, as soon as I watch last weeks episode and tonight’s episode. Having watched pretty much the entire series over a period of six months I would say with the exception of perhaps the first five episodes, the moral abiguity between the human and cylon race was already established. Right now my feeling is that we will discover that the humans on Earth are actually human/cylon hybrids. I know that there is sort of a change of course in the episode that I haven’t seen yet so I concede I could be wrong. LOL

  49. EssBee: Sorry to hear about your loss.

    Mr. Mangan: Another good show, I liked the choose your own adventure story. Did anyone else keep hearing Jonathon Coulton’s “Creepy Doll” in their mind during it though? Excellent NIN link, I need to go obessively buy the rest of their albums now.

    Re. WI3D: Personally I still find it a good podcast to listen to. It’s a bunch of people drinking and bullshitting I just let the differing opinions slide by me.

  50. Thanks, Mr. LostRalph.

    I do also want to wish EssBee and her partner safe journey and well-wishes to all involved.

    Dub and Trucker, title of a 70s buddy movie or entertaining onpod collaboration?

  51. Actually, that brings me to an idea of a good art mash, Blade Runner and Any Which Way But Loose. Can you imagine Decker ordering Clyde to flip off replicants from his spinner? An angry redneck motorcycle gang constantly on Deckers heels as he retires replicants? Clyde eating Batty’s Oreos?

  52. I wish I could destroy Twitter, but apparently it just got some dude out of jail. I guess that raises some value, but by the same token, if you go to Egypt to protest its government… Isn’t arrest somewhat… expected… and maybe even… deserved…

  53. LOL!! The quality and humor of the comments in this week’s thread so far has been well above average.

    I don’t have anything humorous to contribute. I did have another very good writing day, though. I haven’t been keeping day-by-day statistics this month, but I’m pretty sure I wrote more today than any other day in April. 🙂

  54. Wow, I had fucking good time with Dub in SL! I know wingin kind of sucks at this time. If Dub could record bits off of SL off the FPR could get a fucking bost that would rock. Plus a pay off for wingin again… Then we talk about in in the deadpan. I like Dead… I can’t beleave you guys voted for South Land Tales. I really can’t…

  55. Yeah, I mean I totally think we should have done the Chipmunk Adventure. Talk about buyers remorse.

    An interesting thing happened after the Second Life thing. I decided to rework my wiring on my podcast recording setup. And I discovered that it is in fact not Vista thats the problem in dulling down my recordings by 15db… I have the thing hooked up to my XP server and it does the same thing.

    That said, it does make a nice little hub. I routed the monitoring port on that into the line in port on the Vista machine and with some mixer tweaking I think I got it to sound the same as my FPR recording quality, but without the 15db sound drop. Now I can record at that quality and talk on Skype and Second Life at the same level as well. But now with the U-Control actually plugged into the XP machine, I can record anything, such as conversations from Skype (and I know, PowerGramo) and SL (I couldn’t find anything for this). What I can’t do unfortunately is re-route audio back from the XP machine to the Vista machine or the mixer (which would be neccessary for running a group podcast where voicemails are played and everyone would need to hear them and comment) without causing massive line noise. Not sure I can get around this without a second mixer. Which I have, but its noisy… so that kind of defeats the point…

    Anyway, to sum up, yes, I have no life. But I’m set up to do interviews or bring in cohosts or anything like that if I wanted too. 🙂

  56. Downloading nin now. I’ve still been more-or-less caught up on WI, about semi-caught up on Slice and only manage about 1 in 4 C2C’s. WI definitely had a heyday that is pretty much in the past, but it still has little peaks here and there.

    Been in a funk lately, my recording commitments have been slipping a bit, and the writing is idling. Need to get back into that groove I was in for a while, if I ever want a new draft of RBT and that toyed-with podcast of my own.

    1. Finish final draft of Buffy Between the Lines Season 2, ep 11.
    2. Get RBT draft complete.
    3. Start work on Angel Between the Lines script.

    That last one I have a collaborator on, so that will help some.

    I also have a few podcast contributions I really need to be rolling on as well.

    Ed, as a purveyor of the crude sexual humor on this Saturday’s WI VM show, I apologize. Sometimes I have the brain of a 13-year old, and I couldn’t help it.

  57. Morning Pan!

    Bought Sins of a Solar Empire the other day. It was a very evil thing to do. I stayed up way too late last night 🙂

  58. TEB, I’ve heard good things about Sins, I’m not sure if I’ll every get to it. I got my NWN2 installation copied over to my Uber machine, so I’m going to get back into that campaign. I also need to finished the third module for NWN1. LOL Oh well. Played some Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii the other day. I’m diggin it.

  59. Still working through Super Mario Galaxy. Quite addictive and a source of entertainment for my kiddos (me playing for them, the kids aren’t quite there yet dexterity wise for that….though my daughter has gotten a 220 on Wii Bowling…hmmm)

  60. I’m considering getting Wii fit, but would be far too embarrassed to buy it in a shop.

    Online shops are so much more civilised than hiding things in brown paper bags.

  61. Having survived the weekend, you emerge out into a world teaming with problems and opportunities, despair and hope, cliches and wit.

    If you choose to embrace the day and set out to cut your slice of the pie, jump to comment 981.

    If you choose to declare “aw, fuck it” and return to bed, jump to comment 492.

  62. ” Your value as a person is not contingent on the amount of dollars you’re bringing in – despite what our overly materialistic society would have you believe.”

    Agree 100% on this point. I admit, I only skimmed the article, but I take the point is that people are discussing their salaries more openly. I don’t see that as a bad thing as management uses ignorance of salary range to keep them as low as possible. On the other hand, it’s stupid for people to flaunt their salary.

  63. It’s funny, the article and the DIGG comments are somewhat out of sync with each other. The article is focused more on people discussing salaries more with their circles of friends, but not so much with coworkers.

    The Digg comments suggest that the talking among coworkers is the way to go, in order to “stick it to the man”, so to speak. Now, while such a thing would certainly reveal that some “nice guys” are getting underpaid, I’d bet it would force more people to learn that they get paid less than their peers because they aren’t as productive/useful.

  64. Positive – people know when management is not paying them what their co-worker makes.

    Negative – it’s human nature to begin feeling resentment towards coworkers who make more then you for doing the same job.

    When I first entered “the work force” I would talk openly about what I made. Not as a source of showing off (frankly I didn’t make enough to show off) but because I didn’t care if people new what I made. I didn’t base my worth as a person on my salary.

    It was until much later (maybe a decade) that I realized how self-centered my view was.

    I was in some social setting with friends and somehow the topic rolled around and in my typical “I don’t care who knows how little I make” style I started talking about it.
    I don’t remember any of the details of that conversation but what I remember was the sudden sick feeling I got as I realized (from the look on one of my pal’s face) of what a complete bastard I was being. It became suddenly and painfully obvious to me that this guy made MUCH less then I and I was crushing him. Even though I had never meant to be bragging (I thought I was being self depricating) in this guy’s eyes I must have seemed a complete bastard.

    Openness and honesty is a powerful thing. Whether it is a weapon or a tool seems to depend very much on where you are standing when it gets used.

    Frak. I gotta go do my podcast now. I’ve procrastonated starting it for 2 hours now.

  65. Now that I think about it, I talked more openly about my salary with my friends back in KC because my close friends were all in architecture and we would use that information to negotiate a market standard salary. But here, I’m not really that close to most of my coworkers. There’s the young guns and the old foggies, not as many middle management. *shrug*

  66. Artistic license is a wonderful thing. Have you watched the S4 episodes as well Rhettro?

    I work in an organization where you get paid the same if you do the same job…regardless of experience or productivity.

  67. OK well please don’t BSG spoil away. I still haven’t watched any of season 4.

    My $0.02 on sharing salary info: After experiences with pathological liars, I’ve become an advocate of openness and honesty on all things with those close to you. But – you’re generally not that close with your co-workers, so that kind of openness would inevitably lead to resentment. It might be ok amongst a circle of friends, but I’d still advise to proceed with caution. End transmission.

  68. Considering how I was completely screwed by a previous company that totally relied on salary information being kept secret, I can see the benefit of openly discussing salaries. When I confronted the company about the problem, they admitted the problem but claimed the could not fix the egregious salary difference due to mysterious “rules”. So, I quit.

    I can also understand how openly discussing salaries would cause problems.

  69. JOe: They totally gave that away when he smashed the ship. I mean it was so OBVIOUS that that was just a metaphor of being gay; smashing bounds, ropes, rules, etc. I just didn’t expect Cylons to be gay. That’s some hot metal-on-metal action going on there!!

  70. ditto – I like how they had to resort to the ancient text to discover that the cylon’s dna was based on something called “Vista” which allowed them to shut down attacking raiders simply by trying to get them network together.

  71. Well they sorta touched on the homosexual elements with Admeral Cain, but that Amadala on Baltar action, no I did not see THAT coming.

  72. lunch … I found a small hunk of cheese and a box of Triskets.

    Having consummed that … I grabbed the box of Lucky Charms cereal and have that next to me here at the computer. Only the best in dinning around here.

  73. And of course if you’re going to bring up Lover Boy, you might as well bring up the other notible Canuck band like them, Chilliwack.

    Ever since left me
    I sure feel all alone
    A little misunderstanding
    I can’t get her on the telephone
    Hanging out down on Main Street
    Living in a different world
    Standing around with the gang on the corner
    Talking about my girl

    My girl – She was the world to me
    She’s gone – Away across the street
    My girl – Is just a memory
    She’s been so long away

    She didn’t have to leave me
    She didn’t have to run
    She didn’t have to go without a word to anyone
    I hope she’s doing alright
    I got no way to know
    Unless she gets to hear this song
    Hear it on the radio

    My girl – She was the world to me
    She’s gone – And that’s a tragedy
    My girl – Is just a memory
    She’s been so long away


    I hope she gets the message
    Got to ger back, you know
    Gonna track her down, I’ll find that girl
    Gonna tell her that I love her so
    Put the word on the grapevine
    Spread it all around the world
    Sooner or later i know i’m gonna get her
    I’m talking about my girl
    My girl

  74. Damn! They left out the chorus!

    “Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.
    Gone, gone, gone, she’s been gone so long, wonder if I’ll ever see my girl.

  75. I remember when they actually put the word Sugar in those cereals, “Super Sugar Smacks” ete. LOL

    Luckily, I discovered I’ve been able to replace Sugar with Splenda and hardly notice the difference. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before we get Super Splenda Smacks.

  76. Captain Crunch was designed by a sadist. I agree with Neal Stephenson: eating it dry is like eating shards of glass.

    Rhettro: I expect they’ll fix that injustice.

  77. ditto – you need that special spoon that he envisioned.

    J0e – there must be coffee creamer, at least? Although I wouldn’t suggest the powdered stuff on Lucky Charms. Not even on Marshmallow Mateys.

    No Ratt no peace!

  78. I may have just been wronged by Rhett.

    Hmmmm 2 wrongs don’t make it Rhett.

    ditto – count me in. DO you think you can talk the Deadpan into sponsoring us? We could call in with the contents of our London Anime festival.

  79. I’ve never tried a Red Bull, I have had a Monster Energy drink and that shit ain’t for me. LOL I perfer the natural refreshment of Diet Coke with Splenda. I’m pretty sure Splenda uses twice the number of honey ants compared to any other leading artificial sweetner on the market.

  80. Thx for the link ditto, I’m in London that weekend so will see if I can get tickets.

    I find splenda in hot drinks to be disgusting, it’s okay on Weetabix though.

    Ok, one thing I never got about the new BSG, was why the version of Six found on the Pegasus set off the nuke. The Cylons claimed that discovering New Caprica by accident (by detecting the nuke) so it wasn’t part of a deliberate plan.

  81. So I watched a documentary about the band Genesis last night (and the announcer sounded a lot like Vanamonde). That docu only reinforced my opinion that Peter Gabriel leaving Genesis was the best thing that could have happened to everyone involved.

  82. I thought I smelled “electrical fire” but after sniffing round my computers and desk … I determined that the smell is coming from this morning’s coffee cup.

    I’m not sure if I should be relieved or not.

  83. I’ve noticed that hissing noise to, as well as the strange froth that it seems to make at the top of a cup of coffee.

    I agree as well about Genesis, it let PG and PC take a big leaps creatively, more so for Mr. Gabriel. LOL

    Sort of the inverse happened to Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden. When Bruce went on his solo career, he made brilliant music, then he reunited with Iron Maiden and all was snoozeville. I’m still waiting for a decent follow up to the “Chemical Wedding.”

  84. What the??? The Deadpan has exploded to life this afternoon. Complete with one hit wonder and short lived band-a-palooza.

    So, Are we coming up with a script for the BSG Season 4 that wasn’t?

  85. I’m pretty sure it was Van. I’ve been loving BSG, but there are a few gaffs I want to talk about. I’ll wait until Jack ketches up. 😉

  86. I dunno if it’s even worth bringing up. It’s so stupid and yet it just annoys me to the level of pissing me off.

    Let’s just say that there is another couple of podcasts FPR likely won’t be covering anymore thanks to another podcaster being a douchebag.

  87. I wonder how many people last week noticed that George Hrab said I had a delicious penis on his podcast.

    No, seriously. I’m wondering if I can get an endorsement or something out of it.

  88. We’ve caught up with more sci fi tv watching since we last posted

    We are all caught up with Doctor Who- or no wait we are 1 ep behind.. haven’t gotten this past weeks episode yet. I am really liking Donna when I thought I wouldn’t. She is refreshing because she may fancy the Doctor, but she sure gives him a hard time.

    Hugh sez: we feel like bees disappearing might be a Bad Wolf thing.. they keep mentioning bees

    yes they do

    We finished watching last season of Atlantis finally.. we were pleased with it.

    Watched the season premiere of Moonlight.. loved it *vampire swooooon*

    That is it so far… been an excessive amount of sports watching these past few evenings

    Hugh sez: its the NBA finals babe!

    I know 🙂 and hockey final whatsits too

    Hugh sez: Yep.

    Its ok, you can have your sports, I have my vampire porn books 🙂 Book 2 in my Twilight Series has been shipped from Amazon!!

  89. Hugh sez: I’m the luckiest motherfucker on the planet.

    awwww *blush*

    Hugh sez: She sucks cock AND lets me watch sports, what else do I need?

    I cook and clean too

    Hugh sez: You do!

    Damn you are lucky!

    Hugh sez: I told you!


    ok, night pan
    Smarty Hottie vampires are out for the night. We have precious few hours before the sun rises again

  90. Darn it Dub, detail, detail, details!

    Now I will have to don a deerstalker, puff on a pipe and try and work out who the douchebag podcaster is.

    But you can remain sketchy on the taste of cock.

  91. Morning Pan.

    Wow, leave for a weekend and miss all this?! I’m back from family time, heading in to the job at the evil empire (tjatee?).

    I haven’t watched Friday’s BSG episode yet — doh! I wish I could stay home and watch it!

  92. Ok, this is both funny and disturbing:

    The Billy Letters (from Radar Magazine)
    “What better mentor for a 10-year-old than Charles Manson? Little Billy seeks life advice, and America’s most notorious killers are happy to oblige”


  93. In Bruges

    Well after watching it all I can write is….was fun with some extreme violence at the end.

    One to watch again when it comes on the TV.

  94. Well, it’s taken eight years but president Bush finally said something I agree with.

    “America’s farm economy is thriving. The value of farmland is skyrocketing. And this is the right time to reform our nation’s farm policies by reducing unnecessary subsidies,”

    Yep. Now lets stop subsidising corn ethanol and allow ethanol imports from Brazil. The corn lobby has way to much pull.

  95. “America’s farm economy is thriving. The value of farmland is skyrocketing. And this is the right time to reform our nation’s farm policies by reducing unnecessary subsidies,”

    Which means, corporate farms are raking in profits, taxes on farms are going up, and the profit for family farms is going down. Farmers are getting screwed more than ever. It’d be nice to see something done to help them, but eliminating subsidies certainly won’t harm the corporations.

  96. I’ll check it out over lunch. 🙂

    I don’t have anything against ethanol, but corn ethanol is massively inefficient, and there is a huge lobby to fund it. That money should either be going to switch grass or algae efforts, the corn focus just drives up food costs and does little for our energy independance.

  97. That whole corn subject would always get Mennenga’s blood boiling. Send enough voicemails/emails on the subject, you could probably get an entire WI! episode devoted to American corn.

    Or, knowing Mike, he’d be just as likely to change the ‘c’ to a ‘p’. 🙂

  98. Whether it’s corn or porn neither are in need of much government help. LOL Being brought up in an adjacent state to Mike, I’m sensitive to the issue as well. 😉

  99. I’d only get the Buffalo Wings ice cream if I can have a scoop of the bacon and eggs on top.

    Can’t… move… arteries hardening.

  100. 2 points on corn (next week … 2 coints on porn)

    1) Don’t let the spin Doctors convince you that CORN as an inefficient and bad idea for ethanol is the same thing as ETHANOL being inefficient and bad. The Agricultural Giants (like ConAgra and Monsanto and the like) are spending tons of money to push corn and to make you forget that ethanol can be made just as easily and with a much higher yield per acre … with things like saw grass.
    They do this because saw grass is a weed that grows wild in fields from the coast to coast … and it does this without fertilizers or the need for expensive, genetically modified and patient protected, designer seeds.

    2) Brazil makes their ethanol from sugar cane. Sweet!
    Unfortunately countries like Brazil and Argentina are starting to thrive on their fuel exports and as THEIR economies boom they are buying more cars. This means they are using more of their own fuel and starting to export less.
    Right now their supplies would scarcely make a dent in our consumption and in a few short years what they could give us wouldn’t even be noticed.

    (I watch waaaay to much CNBC)

  101. My current favoritest tune of the day is
    “The King is half-undressed” by Jellyfish.

    It is teh assume.

    (I’d send a youtube link but the video is meh and distracts from the swellness of the song.)

  102. Don’t blame farmers for struggling to find ways to make ends meet. I agree that corn ethanol is not a great way to make alternative fuels, but I don’t blame farmers for trying some way to stay profitable.

  103. I don’t blame farmers, I blame lobbiest. That said, there are better ethanol crops, like sugarbeets they could grow that would make more of a difference. My hope is that once the public gets more educated on the issue, we won’t have so much waste. But who knows?

  104. That Jellyfish tune gets regular plays on my iPod. Good stuff, J0e!

    I will try some. . . . . whatever-it-was-called 🙂 the next time I’m at a Mexican restaurant with Rhett. Posole.

    I blame the melon farmers.

  105. This just is !

    No. really. I JUST saw this on CNBC – 80% of the US oil consumption goes to transportation.
    Only like 2 percent went to “residential” uses and only about that much is used by utilities companies.

    So we could switch all our houses and power companies over to solar power … and it wouldn’t make a noticable difference in how much oil we are using.

    We HAVE to find some other way to power our transportation. There is just no way around that!

  106. I spent about 90 percent of my gas on my work commute and my daily commute equates to about 36 miles round trip. Well within today’s electrical limits. I’m guessing in the future well all own electric cars for commuting and rent cars that have a long range for trips in excess of 100 miles. That’s my 15 year prediction anyway.

  107. I’m watching last night’s Colbert on my TIVO. The Word was, as usual, pretty spot on.

    Now, they’ve got some woman named Feist as the interview guest and singer at the end of the show. Can’t say she was my cup o’tea.

  108. For those that didn’t see the recent NOVA on “cats of the future” … the “plug-in hybrid” shows a lot of promise. There is a good chance that the average commuter would rarely have to use the gas engine!

    They also mentioned how energy inefficant the average passanger car actually was. Guess what percentage of the energy that is stored in your gas tank is actually used to move your body forward.
    Go ahead guess.

    That’s right, 1% of the energy is actually used to move you.

  109. This seems somehow apropos to one of today’s topics.
    Gotta dig those whacky Canadian rockers.

    Down in his barn,
    My uncle preserved for me an old machine,
    For fifty-odd years.
    To keep it as new has been his dearest dream.

    I strip away the old debris
    That hides a shining car.
    A brilliant red Barchetta
    From a better, vanished time.
    I fire up the willing engine,
    Responding with a roar.
    Tires spitting gravel,
    I commit my weekly crime…

    In my hair-
    Shifting and drifting-
    Mechanical music-
    Adrenalin surge…

    Well-weathered leather,
    Hot metal and oil,
    The scented country air.
    Sunlight on chrome,
    The blur of the landscape,
    Every nerve aware.

    Suddenly ahead of me,
    Across the mountainside,
    A gleaming alloy air-car
    Shoots towards me, two lanes wide.
    I spin around with shrieking tires,
    To run the deadly race,
    Go screaming through the valley
    As another joins the chase.

    Drive like the wind,
    Straining the limits of machine and man.
    Laughing out loud
    With fear and hope, I’ve got a desperate plan.
    At the one-lane bridge
    I leave the giants stranded at the riverside.
    Race back to the farm, to dream with my uncle at the fireside.

    Rush – Red Barchetta

  110. What an awesome typo, JJ:

    “For those that didn’t see the recent NOVA on “cats of the future” … the “plug-in hybrid” shows a lot of promise.” Sounds great! But I’m not so sure about plugging mine in. . . .

  111. And the last time I got the kids McDonalds (sue me), the Happy Meal came in an American Idol bag with a cheap little toy singer holding a microphone. Simon Cowell and Ronald McDonald — talk about an Axis of Evil.

    And with that, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, on the flip side of 400 comments.

  112. “… like, trying to manage bandwidth in a combate zone.”

    This was in an e-mail I just got from a relative currently deployed in Iraq. He was explaining why he could look at the photos I had sent but not the video. They had taken away that ability “for some silly reason like, trying to manage bandwidth in a combate zone.”

    For some reason that line keeps running around in my head.
    ” trying to manage bandwidth in a combate zone.”

    It sounds like an REM lyric.

  113. David: Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around.
    Sofía: I’ll find you again.
    David: I’ll see you in another life… when we are both cats.

  114. Some people might get some pleasure out of hate
    Me, I’ve enough already on my plate
    People might need some tension to relax
    Mem, I’m too busy dodging between the flak
    What you see is what you get
    You’ve made your bed, you better lie in it
    You choose your leaders and place your trust
    As their lies wash you down and their promises rust
    You’ll see kidney machines replaced by rockets and guns
    And the public wants what the public gets
    But I don’t get what this society wants

  115. And you run and you run to catch up to the sun, but it’s sinking,
    Racing around to come up behind you again.
    The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older,
    Shorter of breath and one day closer to Deadpan.

  116. Are you ready?
    Are you ready?
    Are you ready?
    Are you ready?
    Are you ready for the time of life?
    Its time to stand up and fight
    So alright
    So alright
    Hand in hand we take a caravan to the Deadpan
    One by one we gonna stand up with pride
    One that cant be denied

  117. Jump in the cockpit and start up the engines
    Remove all the wheelblocks theres no time to waste
    Gathering speed as we head down the runway
    Gotta get airborne before its too late.

    Running, scrambling, flying
    Rolling, turning, diving, going in again
    Run, live to fly, fly to live, do or die
    Run, live to fly, fly to live. Deadpan high.

  118. I’ll stop the world and Deadpan with you.
    I’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time.

    There’s nothing Jack Mangan won’t do.
    He’ll stop the world to Deadpan for you.

  119. I love that old movie, “The Secret Life of Jack Mangan”. You know the one, where he daydreams all the time and gets involved in a secret plot. Mangan is pretty cool. 🙂

  120. So I was going to get an early start detailing my time card at 1:30 so I wouldn’t be rushing before the end of the day. Then I got thrown into a side project. Now it’s 5 and I can start. =P

  121. I just got caught up on the comments since I last posted. I will now reply to them.

    Jack said:
    “Taint things are afoot at the Spherical K.”

    *Amy imagines what a “Spherical K” would be like (it would be the Radio Shack of the Spherical Tomi universe), and Bill and Ted going there*

    Heh heh heh… there’s a fanfic in there somewhere.

    ditto said:
    “There has also been talk about using dirigibles for heavy transport.”

    Oh, heck yeah! Bring on the cool stuff from Metamor City and the Wasteland! 😀

    Jack said:
    “Shorter of breath and one day closer to Deadpan.”

    This NEEDS to be the intro tag to a future Deadpan episode.

    Rhettro said:
    “Mma nam ana.”

    Doot dooooo dee doo-doot!

  122. Deadpan 90 play by play continues…

    Will jack come back after the music?

    Hugh sez: Yes
    Dre sez: No

    I win! Jack came back after the music

    Dre sez: well Leann did.

    But we decided in the rules that no matter who comes back after the music, Jack put them there so that is like Jack IS coming back

    Dre sez: I know baby 🙂 you win


  123. Deadpan 91 play by play begins…

    We are going to catch podtaint babe

    Dre sez: Maybe we should out on condoms

    But we don’t have any female condoms babe, what are you going to do?

    Dre sez: Crap.. I guess I am catching Jacks podtaint!


  124. Dre sez: It’s Stewie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    cool whip

    Dre sez2: I love Stewie!!!! and his Cool whip

    you want Stewie’s Cool Whip?

    Dre Sez: LOL! ewwww, no I don’t. I want your cool whip baby

    *swoooooon* I’ve got some cool whip for you mama

  125. *pause to find last spoon standings*

    Fuck babe, when was the last play by play we did?

    Dre sez: Last week, or the week before.. i don’t remember

    Well we are going to pause and find those and I need some more water. I am so fucking thirsty

  126. Greasy Spoon Nipples Udder Bangles Susanna Hoffs Dickens Comments Cockles Spooges Comment-a-palooza shitzus donkus nose hairs nipples Comments solo nipples through Ep 90

    Smarty Hotties® – 17
    The Energizer Bunny – 11
    justa j0e – 11
    Mr ditto swooon – 9
    Vanamonde – 8
    Dubshack – 7
    Rhettro – 7
    Ed From Texas – 6
    Leann 2.0 – 5
    Jeremy- 4
    Alvie – 3
    Rhettro – 3
    Thomas – 3
    WNDR wolfie – 2
    Addie in boulder – 2
    Lost Ralph – 2
    Amy Bowen – 2
    Trucker Overdrive – 2
    Jackamo – 2 (even though it doesn’t count according to him)
    disgruntled scientist – 1

  127. Thanks for the water babe…

    3 rounds of greasy spoon privates

    Round 1:
    Mr ditto swoon – electric robotic motor

    Dre sez; he is no longer mr ditto swooon, he went back to just ditto 🙁 He hates me

    ditto, do you hate my Dre?

    Smarty hotties – fuck daylight savings time
    Rhettro – gushers
    Vanamonde – yoda-ling
    Ed from texas- podcasters
    Justa Joe- NOOOOO
    Dubshack – empowering

  128. late introbabble

    PC asplosion

    no Arnold

    Dre sez: [Arnold voice] its not a tumor [/its not a tumor]

    Dre sez 2: Jack said ‘your favorite bits’ *snicker*.. Oh Jackamo.. you know what MY favorite bit is *swoooooon*

    Control yourself woman

    Dre sez3: yes, sir

    God I love that 🙂

  129. Dre sez: It’s ok Amy, there has ever been a rule that no one could comment during a play by play, so don’t worry about it. It’s not like we are mean people who are going to yell at you about or anything.

    Maybe they think we are mean people

    Dre sez: they probably do.

  130. what you’ve described here happens within every social group

    Dre sez: Every social group Ive ever joined had this happen

    Dre sez: LOL rewind it!!!!


    Massive head, taint, crack, sucking, slow trickle, behind

    Dre sez: thats hot!

  131. Dre: No, I don’t hate you. Summer deleted the accounts, so I went back to ditto. I think if I switch the name, I’ll get stuck in Murgatory again.

  132. Jack is taking a pause for some 80s lyrics.

    We will take this opportunity to stop our play by play for this evening

    We were keeping track of the greasy spoon privates on the side here.. I will post the standings through privates rounds 1 and 2

    that is all

  133. Greasy Spoon Nipples Udder Bangles Susanna Hoffs Dickens Comments Cockles Spooges Comment-a-palooza shitzus donkus nose hairs nipples Comments solo nipples privates through Ep 91 rounds 1 and 2

    Smarty Hotties® – 18
    justa j0e – 13
    The Energizer Bunny – 12
    Mr ditto swooon – 10
    Vanamonde – 10
    Dubshack – 9
    Rhettro – 8
    Ed From Texas – 7
    Leann 2.0 – 5
    Jeremy- 4
    Alvie – 3
    Rhettro – 3
    Thomas – 3
    Jackamo – 3 (even though it doesn’t count according to him)
    WNDR wolfie – 2
    Addie in boulder – 2
    Lost Ralph – 2
    Amy Bowen – 2
    Trucker Overdrive – 2
    disgruntled scientist – 2

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