370 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #250: Final Mast

  1. Nomad (this is Jack) – – what’s the baby status?

    And feel free to share your 50 Shades thoughts for those without the Social Media wiring.

    Goodnight :Kellogg’s Chocolate Fisties:

  2. And here is that “review”:

    I have a painful gut reaction to many sitcoms. I can feel when a bad setup is coming, when someone is doing something stupid and from that something supposedly funny will come. Except, I don’t find it funny. And it makes my gut hurt.

    That’s how I felt from the first page of 50 Shades. My gut hurt from how stupid the characters were acting and how stupid everything was going to follow from their actions.

    There is something about fan fiction that is palpable. And the stench of it is painfully obvious here. Anastsia is supposedly clumsy (like Bella) but then she’s dancing and cooking in one scene early on. Gyrating with knives is not exactly the behavior of a clutz. (Seriously, experience speaking here.) Grey is a cold-blooded controlling stalker, just like the Twilight “hero.” Ugh.

    I mean, I really enjoy retellings of old fairy tales. I enjoy the story when Marvel reboots their universe (as they do every few years.) But this re-imagination of Twilight does a piss poor job of it. It takes out the possibility of magic that the supernatural characters permit. It makes the innocent heroine utterly ridiculous by ramping her age up to 21, while having her act like a tweenager. And then Grey has such a sick and sad back story that it just makes his entire rational pathetic. He’s no hero, he’s no Romeo, he’s just a sick and twisted man who passes his abuse on to others. Hence his great attration to the virginal Anastasia.

    As for the sex, let’s just say that erotica isn’t my cup of tea. I’ve read enough to know. And what I’ve read was much better than this. MUCH! The scenes are neither well-written, nor well-imagined. Blah.

    Finally, I never ever ever ever ever want to hear about your inner goddess. This book RUINED the entire concept for me. If she’s talking to you or dancing at you or what-not… keep it to yourself. And stay the fuck away from me. Even if I had liked something else about the book, this particular detail would have made me hate the book.

  3. Today’s movie is The Eves

    The DVR writeup: a shocker about a group of vacationing students who seek shelter in an abandoned lodge after their car breaks down. When dark forces emerge, blood is spilled and lives are lost

    Wow, I can count the tropes in that write-ip alone

  4. Is anyone here an Octavia Butler fan? I read Wild Seed several years ago and was kind of m’eh. I just finished Parable of the Sower, though, and am now about midway through Parable of the Talents and am loving them.

  5. Thanks to Van’s link, I wasted 46 minutes of my life, er I mean I watched the pilot of Revolution. Only the firnal 45 seconds of the last two clips were appealing to me. I don’t think I will be watching on a regular basis. I am excited for Elementary, though.

    I sense a delicious beer is in my future this evening.

  6. I watched Buckaroo Banzai with my daughter last night. It was not her first time seeing it, but she was so young the first time it might as well have been. Now I just need to think of something to contribute that isn’t pure fan-boy gushing (e.g., in Simpsons Comic Book Guy Voice: Notice that Perfect Tommy changes outfits no less than three times in the closing credit sequence. He’s like a male, clean, version of Barbarella).

  7. Actually an interesting political post here. . . (sorry).

    Never mind the source, never mind that neither will live up to their stated goals; it’s just an interesting snapshot of both parties’ platforms for 2012:

    http://news.yahoo.com/dems-platform-backs-gay-marriage-abortion-rights-020730209–election.html

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/04/gop-platform_n_1852733.html

    Or, if you prefer science, there’s always Voyager:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48897403/ns/technology_and_science-space/#.UEZiGsGPUTY

  8. Well, so much for an easy month of 3-12 hour shifts per week. Now I have to add in Education, Extra shifts, Shared Leadership, Staff Meetings, more effin Education per week.

    I need a mental break. How can I get my Calgon Moment going?

    Happy Hump Day to you fine folks.

  9. You don’t have to work long in public transport to realise people don’t like change.

    Easy to appeal to keep the status quo.

    That applies all over the world.

    Groan.

  10. So……… I just realized that my “jack@jackmangan.com” email is notv working., and hasn’t been for about 2 weeks or so. The spherical jack m gmail account is still working just fine, its only the domain one that’s choking. I’ll fix it, but in the meantime, I request that you contact me using the gmail address. Apologies if you’ve sent an email and received no reply; I probably never saw it.,

  11. Today I will be taking a vacation in my head…. pass the sunscreen and hand me my tropical fruity drink… Too bad the sun looks like fluorescent office lighting.

  12. Wonderful to hear a ‘Seeegggaaaa’ incoming messaging on women’s mobile..who must have played Sonic the Hedgegog as a kid judging from her youth .

  13. So our new water softener is running through its’ initial cycle but in 73 minutes we’ll have soft water.

    The guy did warn me that it may feel slimy for the first few days. That’s because our skin is so used to the hare water it will take a few days for it to adapt to the new feel.

  14. Does anyone know if an app for the iphone (or an existing function) tht is a sleep radio so i can fall asleep to my itunes music w/ an auto shutoff?

    Say Good Night, Pixie

  15. Speaking of “are you better then you were 4 years ago?” –
    As I look over the market open today I see that the S&P 500 closed at it’s highest level in 4 years yesterday. The Nasdaq closed at it’s highest level in 10 years. So I went back and looked at the market close for the DOW Jones 4 years ago? Yesterday’s close was 1,887 points HIGHER then it was 4 years ago.
    Surprise.
    Seems the last 4 years has yielded a robust stock market and very profitable corporate climate. Not what you would be led to believe from the headlines, would you?

    Bizarro world.

    • Sadly the Republicans think they an lie their way into office this time. They’re confident that a majority of voters will believe Romney is a stand up guy because he wears magical underwear. Yes, his wife said in an interview that they are devoute Mormons and wear undergarments that protect them from evil and harm.

      That frightens me.

      Beyond that, nearly everything Romney has said has been researched and the number of kids he tells about Deomrats and his history are all readily available for research online and wow is this guy one of the worst liars of all time. There’s even a website dedicated to the lies he’s been telling with references to either things he’s said or done before, or links to the real numbers or facts.

      This political season is the scariest I’ve ever seen from the Republicans. At least Bush had the balls to say up front he was going to screw us and he was a cheerleader in college.

  16. Good news: nothing has changed with my eyesight. Bad news: paying for a year’s worth of stuff with no insurance can be ouchy to the pocketbook.

  17. It’s Friday! I can haz weekend!

    I just ordered:

    -A ticket to next week’s food and beer-sampling event (where I’m also volunteering, but I still have to buy a ticket to get inside :P )
    -A LivingSocial deal for an eye exam + glasses (I have spent far too much time reading text off my phone…)

  18. Is this a trailer for a real film or is it just a more wacky Python? (trailer probably NSFW in that Python animation kind of way)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbW842eMNtI&feature=em-subs_digest
    “A LIAR’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY”

    – Not a documentary, not a Monty Python film, A LIAR’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY is Chapman’s own take on his bizarre life and his search for self-knowledge, bringing Chapman back to life in an ingenious tour de force of animation, told through 17 different animation styles from 14 different animators.

  19. The Google doodle is Star Trek today! (Disregard if that’s what you were talking about yesterday).

    As for that other geek-revered franchise started in the 60s: J0e, it’s great to see the Pythons back together.

  20. I ordered the parts for my new computer. I was going to put it together myself but Memory Express only charged $70 to build the system and install Windows so I decided they can do it. That way, if there are any issues when it goes together, I don’t have to swear at it.

    I’m all a quiver. In a week or so I’ll have a new honking system. *insert happy quivering emoticon here*

  21. But! In keeping with my current trend of bad news weekends, my Boo’s fiancee found out yesterday that his father has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. May not affect me directly this time but still… *shrug* Weekends are starting to bum me out.

  22. My thoughts too i know this letter uses colorful language, but dammit! We need to keep hearing it and allow for changes and equality

    http://m.deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it

    Then

    http://m.deadspin.com/5941541/heres-chris-kluwe-explaining-why-he-wrote-todays-response-to-an-anti+gay-marriage-politician

    I love that this guy is using terms like, “progressive” Long live the 1st Amendment.

    & go UCLA!

  23. to Van and Nomad,

    I did some investigating on my iPhone and the Sleep Timer issue. I guess iOS 5 changed from “Sleep iPod” to “Stop Playing”

    I can now fall asleep to my Amazon Cloud Player.

    Thanks, men.

  24. ok, I was just going to post something silly on here and the 50 Shades review at the top caught my eye as I was scrolling. I have a personal life goal to prevent all intelligent human beings from reading those books.

    So I will just say – 100% agreed on your review of the quality of the writing, agreed also on the annoying inner goddess stuff, the female lead character was so disappointing and insulting to the entire female gender. My only disagreement was that Grey was sick and twisted. He was most certainly fucked up, and had childhood issues that made him emotionally unstable. But he was a very responsible in his explicit contracts for the benefit and safety of all involved parties. He would of really been sick and twisted if he forced his way on her or any of his previous female companions. He used the lifestyle and the contracts to keep emotions out of his sex life, which again was very responsible of him considering how fucked up his childhood was.
    Also found it annoying that they only every referred to his mother as “the crack whore” really?

    UGH. Hate that book. HATE IT!!!!!!

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