Posted on April 16, 2012 Shows Jack Mangans Deadpan #236: Selling Something Buy 1 Show Note, Get 1 Free. http://jackmangan.com/show-files/JM_Deadpan_Ep236.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
384 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #236: Selling Something”
If I had a sonic screwdriver…
Goodnight :Tom Baker:
I would buy you a fur TARDIS (but not a real fur TARDIS, that’s cruel…)
“I’d sonic screw in the morning, I’d sonic screw in the evening, ’til screwing was done.”
We’ll sell it to you wholesale yesterday for a hamburger today.
Hey deadpan. I have nothing pithy to add
How about an orange? 😉
How about a helmet?
Don’t think TEB is capable of growing a bushy moustache.
That’s what fake moustachios are for! 😉
Show notes are going to be a little late. Have to take kitty to the vet for a check up in about 15 minutes
I managed to drop a Tervis cup on my face this morning. I bruised my right temple and my cheek bone. Yeah, it’s going to be one of those days.
Explanation, the cups are kept on top of the fridge and someone stacked them too high.
I had to look up Tervis cup.
Good thing it wasn’t the Davis Cup. That could kill you.
Did you get your weekly Free Amazon SF book? http://www.phoenixpick.com/ (near the top of the page click “LOOKING FOR OUR FREE WEEKLY AMAZON PROMOTION CLICK HERE”
Yup, signed up a while back.
The yard people are hear to do a spring cleaning. I guess I can say winter is official over???
hear = here Damn synonyms
Yes, but hear hear for hot, fresh synonym buns!
Actually Van. The one you sign up for is a monthly free book, which I signed up for too. For a short time they are also giving one weekly. This week it’s The Arm of the Stone by Victoria Strauss.
At least, that’s how I understand it.
(and yes, feel free to move these comments under Van’s.)
*shedding a tear*
Now don’t go sentimental on me old man.
Hooray for scientific regression!
Fuck it. What did space exploration ever do for me personally???
*waits patiently for microwave to cook food*
That reminds me. We got a call that someone was afraid of the health risks of a microwave passing through them….. Really?
Umm, you do remember how they discovered microwaves could be used for cooking?
Dead, strangely warm, seabirds around radar stations.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, noooo!
I was going to say … If they call back tell them they will be fine if they will just keep out of the top of the radar tower!
I’m cold. Had to change into a sweater.
“Form OF … a cardigan!!!”
Group email sent! Check your spam filters.
Mmmmm. Fresh spam.
Who of those attending don’t have my number? It hasn’t changed from the last mmmmmeetup. If you want it, drop me a line.
That reminds me, not sure my phone will even work over in deadpan land.
I kinda figured on buying a cheap one at the airport in case of emergencies, is this realistic?
I don’t think you’ll need a phone at all, Van. You’re staying at Jack’s and spending down time with me (Friday morning, Monday day). The rest of the time you’ll be sorrow dex by others. I’ll send you my number, and maybe get Jack to do the same, (I would send you his too but I kind of remember him saying something about changing it when he got the new phone), just in case someone from over there needs to get a hold of you
sorrow dex = surrounded. Where the hell did that come from?
True TEB, just a bit worried about missing Cj at the airport, not a small place by the looks of it.
I’ve already talked to Cj. We’ll both be there. We’ll be at the baggage area down stairs. You know what I look like but, just in case, I’ll wear a bright red t-shirt that says Canada on it 😉
Oh yeah, I know what you look like too so it’ll make looking for each other easier.
I double checked, my Canada t-shirt is actually a more muted red. I’ll wear my bright red Calgary Flames t-shirt instead. Easier to spot in a crowd. http://shop.canada.nhl.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3926050&cp=3176429&clickid=body_bestsell_txt
I think I put way too much thought into these things.
Ta TEB and Cj, beware I can get lost in a broom cupboard (insert smiley here —>)
Aw come on, you guys. My deceased African uncle would want very much for his fortune to sit safely in your bank accounts.
Ther was something wrong with Jacks, last statement. Hmmm… I know! It should have been:
My dEceased african uncLe want much for HIs fortune sit safely your bank AcCount
1. Hooray for groupie emails!
2. Calls for a giant Group Hug! ((((Pixie hugs group/ies))))
3. Miss Bunny — thank you so much for the Canadian Mint deets. Im going to pass on the $0.25 coin for $30 at this time. Hmpf.
4. My body has nearly recovered from the brutual weekend at work. My mental status, however, still teeters on the breaking point. Maybe I should say, my mental health is fractured by others’ immeasureable broken mental health.
Carry on Pannites!
5. Lets Go Coyotes! HOWWLLLL
*group (and grope) hugs*
The poor guys who are cleaning the yard had to do a dump run part way through. Silly ing is, they didn’t know where the nearest dump was, I had to print out a google map for them
They also didn’t realize they had to do the part going to our front door. Silly yard men :silly:
CP: Lovers In A Dangerous Time — Barenaked Ladies
While in Arizona I might want to visit the Mayo clinic. I think mine might need more eggs 😆
Crap joke for the day:
Girl has baby. The midwife says.
“He’s black” girl says
“I needed money so i did a porn film and the guy was black” Midwife says
“He’s got blonde hair”
“Well, the other man in the film was blonde” Midwife says
“He’s got slanted eyes”. She replies “The third man was chinese” The midwife slaps baby and he cries
“Thank Fuck for that” says the girl,
“I thought he was going to bark”
No crap about this one, Van thats all porn
I cant. I wont.
CP: Three Strikes — Jello Biafra And The Guantanamo School Of Medicine
Ok Van, I think I’m done choosing my wardrobe for Thursday. Now for the rest of the weekend… :sideways:
Must go pick up my kitty. Later Panites.
Part 2 of the Group Email sent. Cough.
The airport is not that big.
I am hard to miss.
I’ll wear a plastic flower in my hair.
On the news they were talking about rumours. Today there were two separate rumours stating Ryan Gosling and the lead singer of Nickleback died. While not true, it makes you wonder how such things get started
Probably a feminist day dream in regards to Gosling.
..tongue firmly planted in cheek.
Thi afternoon, I dreamt of a demented Mickey Mouse Fantasia interactive theme ride/dinner show. Incredibly bizzare.
I came out of the end of it with a wizard hat/shawl thing that I had no idea what to do with it.
This is what I get for working a night shift tonight.
Remember you can grab some beer at the Castle of Illusion.
Paper Monsters goes free for a while:
Nice little platformer.
I will be bitter about watching Cocoon, I tell ya.
Y’all like it with your extra dose of fiber!
No one picked the Kings? Van will get off scott free! Unacceptable!
I will not choose the Kings solely based on my Pride. Ever.
Well, movies were still assigned to the Kings. Van will likely have to choose between LA Story and Born in East LA> (No one gets off scott free!)
Does anyone get off Scott Niedermayer free?
Lindros does not get off Scott Stevens free, that’s for sure.
I remember seeing LA Story at the cinema many moons ago and only finding it so so.
No one gets out of here alive?
I like it! 😉
Wow. Now thats a game!
In regards to the meetup itinerary:
Would have to pass on the hiking, as not sure my health is upto it in the heat.
Thanks for the phone numbers TEB.
You know what they say, “It’s not the hike, it’s the humility”.
Then I’m very, very, very, humble JJ
I might not have that quote exactly spot-on.
All of those other suggestions are purely optional,*if* they happen at all.
No one should feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to do.
Well that’s good. For a moment there I thought I might have to drink responsibly.
It’s ok van, long walks make me break out in a rash now (literally. It’s something to do with the medication I’m on)
Later this morning I get to go out and choose the new tiles for my bathroom. I’m thinking something in a powder blue if it’s available and in my price range
Hubby gets to go to head office and help with the schedule for the high school. It’s tough when you have two masters
Hubby and I have been quite enjoying the Geek and Sundry channel on You Tube. The Wil Wheaton table top gaming and Felicia Day’s VLOG are both quite fun.
*sigh* As per usual, my work computer is acting stupid again.
I cleaned out my purse yesterday. Apparently I was collecting pencils. I had eight in there.
You realise they breed and you only had two originally?
But aren’t they all males?
No, those are pens. Haven’t you ever heard of http://www.penisland.net/
I don’t think I’ll be able to do a play by play this week. I’m just too busy. Consider yourselves lucky.
Might try next week.
CP: Red — Treble Charger
Work has decided I need to fly to Ontario for a few days next week. *sigh*
Phooey on EssBee and Bunny’s work travels. 🙁
Got to pick out my vanity, tub, tiles, etc today. Now I can ignore it until they start work in June.
Work is…fun? Last June they changed out my boss and gave me a new one. Now they’ve decided to give me back to my old boss. They also want to expand my duties so I have to go to Ontario for some training. In theory, I’m leaving on Monday and coming back on Thursday. This means I may actually have to work during the days. Play by plays may be affected :cheerful:
Sudden travel plans are driving me nuts. Planned to take the cars in to have the snow tires removed next week. Now I have to rearrange the schedule to fit taking three cars in three separate days, travel to Ontario, Travel to Arizona and month end. I see a lot of pain killers in my immediate future.
*sigh* to use carry on or not to use carry on, that is the question. The other question is, with my work laptop and my purse, how will the airline react to another carry on item?
Oh yeah, I guess I won’t be doing show notes next week, Jack.
The good news is I’m flying West Jet. I was worried they would book me on Air Canada
(I know this means nothing to you, just be happy for me)
Now TEB, dish the dirt on Air Canada, just in case we are in the area.
Air Canada is… horrible. Last week every pilot called in “sick” so many flights were delayed or cancelled. Also, service it terrible, they’ve had so many cut backs etc that check in and actually flying on the plane is not the best experience. For the most part the staff is fine but you can tell they are over worked and over stressed. West Jet is a smaller company and not government subsidized and it shows. When flying on them, it actually feels like they are having fun. Unfortunately, they don’t fly everywhere. But! They do fly to Arizona :happy:
And they are ridiculously expensive.
RIP Dick Clark… Im glad the suffering is over
Kudos to him for a good run, Sympathies to his loved ones. I hope they never take his name off of the New Year’s Show. . . Ryan Seacrest is a pale, pale, pale, fake-tanned imitation.
It’s pissing down here tonight, I may go out the back to get drenched.
It’s just …
Oh. Just see for yourself.
Re-listening to one of my favourite stories on Podcastle:
Busy today, so I’m going to compact my usual posts as bullet points in this one post.
1. RIP Dick Clark.
2. Downloaded the new Jeff Loomis album today – mind blown.
3. On Facebook today, my old boss said that he and his wife awoke to see a set of patrol cars parked outside his house. The officers were sorry to inform his wife that he was dead. Apparent mistaken identity.
4. Great job Amy on your HF segment. I know you invested a lot of time into it and it shows.
5. While driving to work this morning, I stopped behind a car that had an arrangement of fake flowers attached to the rear radio antennae. The rear window had rear window graphic of a winter scene, snowmen and snow flakes.
7. This weekend, in Reno, my son placed 5th place overall in his regional (California, Hawaii, Nevada, Arizona) gymnastic competition.
*two thumbs up, a kiss, and a twist*
Yes !!! Congradts to the Rhettro 2.0 unit.
Woot! You show those Hawaiians, Californians, Nevadans, and especially those other Arizonans.
Thanks guys. 🙂
Working, mostly, from home, it occurs to me I don’t have much in the way of “office” clothes. I think I can get away with buying just one blouse this weekend (I hope). This sudden trip is really becoming a pain.
Hubby is off to another meeting. Luckily it’s not expected to be a late one so he’ll be back before bed time. Unlike tomorrow when he won’t be home until much later :ermm:
Dear Penguins-Flyers series,
CD: Great Divide 18th Anniversary Wood Aged Double IPA
Thank you lord
Oh come on, it’s funny.
“He’s Herman Cain, without the charisma. He’s Michele Bachmann, without the crazy eyes. He’s Rick Perry, without the childlike fascination with maple syrup. He is anything you want him to be, so long as you don’t want him to be anything. He is…the Least Interesting Man in the World.”
Pondering relationships where the level of interest in each other is different.
You – Wish to make her the queen of your universe, the focus of all your hopes and dreams.
Her – Wishes you’d stop asking her to “spread the lotion on itself”, pull her out of the pit and just let her go home.
Reverse genders and you’ve hit the nail on the head.
I call bullshit, sir.
Hey from Virginia, DP.
She doesn’t own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin’ she won’t confess
NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN EVER EVER!!!! *thud*
Whew! I have finally completed the busiest vacation of my life and I am back. We had a family of 5 staying with us for a week and a half (almost tripled the size of our household). During that time we had one day where a second family came down here and we had to abandon the first family to hang out with the second for a day. I had also completed an assignment at employer 1 and had to deal with endless phone calls about the new assignment I start today. I even had to go in for about 3 hours on Monday to get a training behind me that would allow me to start today. Unfortunately for employer 1, I was also spending my vacation doing several interviews and accepting an offer from employer 2. I get to go into work for a new assignment today and give them two weeks notice. I actually feel really bad about it, but I have to do what’s right for my career. The new employer is actually interested in the graduate work I have done and wants me to work in the field I’m passionate about. Employer 1 wants me to either change careers to Integration & Test (which I hate) or spend the next few years developing training manuals (which doesn’t excite me a whole lot).
Long story short (too late). I am back now and quite happy.
Here Here for “quite happy” !!!
Great news Used Hair!
My schedule for today
Finalize my travel arrangements for next week
Renew the registration for the cars
Lunch with my Boo
Purchase travel size shampoo, toothpaste, etc.
Write a great novel
sacrifice a virgin
conquer the world
whew, I’m tired already and the day has only just begun.
What’s the schedule for AFTER noon?
My afternoon will be spent curling up on the couch… At least I wish.
… and WHAT’S the deal with the temperature in Phoenix?
I hear it’s supposed to be 100•F
Canadian Deadpanites may have to have a medical crew standing by. Van will simply need to be packed in ice.
Currently it’s hovering around the freezing mark here in Canadaland. It’s 8C (46F) in Van’s part of the world. Being a coastal land, I’m assuming Van’s place doesn’t have the weather swings we do here in Calgary. Thus, over all, is probably warmer.
Do you ever reach -40 Van? We do once or twice over the winter.
Nowhere near that bad, usually a few degrees below zero is as bad as it gets (although upon the penninies it can get colder).
But 100F…WTF I thinkmI’m going to melt..
..or sleep through the whole weekend..
100 degrees Fahrenheit?! Wow, I hope it’s that cold for the MMMmmmeetup weekend.
Homage to ‘old school’ Dick Clark.
System of a Down (syndrome)
Hubby not home until very late today. 🙁
On a side note, I’m looking for a virgin. I don’t know any, do you? I promise a quick and painful death.
The dragon will be pleased, provided you find one.
I think the AV club at most high schools will rent you one as part of their fund raiser event.
If your not planning on returning them in “mint” condition and therefor, need one of legal age … there is always DragonCon :whistle:
… errr, the “virgin” I mean. Finding the dragon is a different task.
Just find the Star Frontiers gaming table.
Nooope. Been there. Did her.
CP: Entering the Rat Race — Overcolored
Good instrumental guitar rock
I can’t believe Dick Clark was only 82. He seemed older.
I could have sworn I saw old press photos of him with Lewis & Clark.
“Time for Boehner to update his talking points.”
Lunch today = ham & turkey on wheat + a side of carrots and humus dip.
Steals justa’s lunch and gives her peanut butter and jelly and apple sauce to him
CP: Caravan Girl — Goldfrapp
How the Halo movie falied:
Fascinating read. I don’t think I’ve ever heard/read a positive comment about the modern day Fox studio.
ZP is a wee bit postive about the latest Silent Hill game:
Even the moon wants to come to the Mmmmeetup.
Back from lunch with my Boo. Still haven’t found a virgin. I may have to postpone that part until tomorrow. Which means pushing back conquering the world by a day. Sucks, but the gods won’t look favourably on my bid to conquest if I don’t appease them first
Magic 8 Ball, will DJ Bunny conquer the world today?
Ask again later
Flashes a few dollar bills.
Quick! Let me work out for 8 months first…
CP: Without You — Junip
*shouts at EssBee to get the hell down from the top of the Washington Monument*
I have no proof… just a feeling.
I just innocently logged in to say hi, and this is what I find??
A quick break now, then dinner keynotes and junk. So tired.
Hope you all are doing fine! mwah!
The keynote speaker at this conference is a former undersecretary of defense and he talked a lot about war and defense spending. Interesting a bit.
“A bit” is better than “jack shit”
Have fun in DC and stay safe, EssBee!
And under NO circumstances should you accept an invitation to hang out with the mayor and his friends in a motel room.
Look at Jack with the crack joke! ZING!
Well at least she doesn’t mention sexual deviancy:
Why I won’t be going to Australia anytime soon:
I’m not going to look at this, nope, uh uh, no way.
As I read the text, I used my iPad to block the image.
And… then… it gets one-upped
Ah, at last…internet.
Whole neighborhood was down yesterday with an outage. Thankfully everything is now back in order.
/first world problems
My plans for backyard domination are slowly coming to fruition. Had a successful test yesterday. Eventually there will be pictures.
I’m all tingly. Though, that may just be the rum.
Welcome back, Mr. Kot-tehr.
Yeah… thats pretty goddamn impressive. Great story you have going on the ice in the desert…
Pixie hugs Lo. I appreciate you and your love for the game 🙂
Yeah I bet youd think differently if I had propped up the Blackhawks 😉
Boedker! Boedker! Boedker!
I will need some Xanax on Sat night to make it through the game. Excited to be there in person! woot
How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
That’s not what you said last night!
*runs away crying*
YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE!!!
“4. Great job Amy on your HF segment. I know you invested a lot of time into it and it shows.”
Thank you! Also, congrats to your son! :happy:
Good night, mush.
My body has had it with all this MF pollen in the MF air. I think my face is trying to remove itself from the rest of my head.
Crap joke for the day:
After 30 years delivering mail on the same route, a friendly mailman was going to retire, and all his customers were sad to see him go. On his last day, the family at the first house on one block came out on the porch, gave him an envelope of vacation money and a bottle of Scotch. At the next house the people gave him a box of Havana cigars and wished him well. The lady at the third house met him …at the door in a flimsy negligee, and without saying a word, led him upstairs to the bedroom for a half-hour of passionate lovemaking, then downstairs to the kitchen, where she finished preparing a lavish breakfast of ham and eggs, buckwheat pancakes with maple syrup and a big pot of coffee.
As she was refilling his cup, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the saucer.
“This is all overwhelming,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?
“Well,” she answered, “this morning I told my husband that you were retiring and asked him whether we should do something nice for you. He said, ‘Fuck him! Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my own idea.”
*puts Van’s coat back on the hanger, replaces it in the closet*
You see a joke, much like a fine beer, is best when time is taken to craft it.
Saw ‘The Cabin in the Woods’ today.
Want to see!!!! Will rent when it comes out and hope not to be spoiled before hand.
I think it’s safe to say I’ll be hit and miss on the boards for the next week or so.
Safe travels TEB.
I don’t actually leave until Monday lunch time but I have bunches of things to do in this weekend that I was actually planning to do next week.
The hotel I’m staying at says they have free wifi so you might hear from me before and after the business day. Depends *shrug*
CP: Varuna — E.S. Posthumus
IGN is impressed with the Avengers movie:
Super excited for this one. Long as I can catch this, Prometheus, and Dark Knight in theaters it will be successful movie going year for me
Yup, not sure I can wait till I come over to the US.
I won’t be seeing it in Arizona. Hubby would kill me if I saw it without him.
But the title for international release is so bloody naff.
‘Avengers Assemble’ sounds like something out of The Bananas Splits
Some have declared zero interest in seeing the Avengers movie that weekend. Others have declared eagerness to see it asap.
*If* there’s a MMMmmmeetup movie outing, then it should happen early on Saturday, so it doesn’t interfere with the weekend’s other big plans., and so the others can plan a cool alternative.
I’m easy. Let’s get a consensus and I’ll help figure out the plan.
I would have no problem seeing the movie again, in fact would be nice to see how things are done in the USA.
Anybody now muttering that line from Common People (‘Cos nobody likes a tourist) will get the evil eye.
I’m looking forward to Brave.
Thats not what you said last night…
Today would be a lovely day to curl up with a movie.
I miss PTO 🙁
If you are afraid of spiders, don’t look at this:
Umm, look up ditto!
That’s look up the webpage and not lookup ditto on the internet.
Other people have done that with my links too.
Yep. Cant read all comments all the time. Least I cant. I double up links a lot.
Yep. It really isn’t a big deal. If the link is great, it is worth reposting. 😉
I thought he was referring to the giant spider that is DIRECTLY ABOVE YOU IN THE ROOM!!!!!
Oh, him? That’s just my minion in training. I’m sending him to say hi to you, Joe. ;P
*Tries to hit giant spider with shoe*
*giant spider snatches shoe away*
I don’t care about the game or the model. Just play the bit at 0:15. The sound she makes is hysterical!
And strangely arousing. WTF is wrong with me?
Oh for fucks sake, saying r1ngtone will trigger the fucking spam catcher?
Anyway, Lo, you should make one. 😉
OMG YES!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRIIINGTONE!
But then no one could call me. Ever. I’d need my own “pop-up blocker”…
/quits while he’s ahead
Best use of “pop-up blocker” EVAR!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone.
Shouldn’t that be cocked blocked?
Did you know if you Google Image “ditto”, 3/4 of the first page is pics of Beth Ditto? If you dont know who Beth Ditto is… just go looky for yourself. SFW results… not safe for the brain. Or eyes.
I suppose it is better than being associated with Rush Limbaugh.
A truer truth has never been told
I’m more worried why he’s trying to Google images of you.
Shes not wrong
Well she certainly has curves.
Pot calling kettle black mode ON
Lots and lots and lots of curves..
I think its all about how she…uses… them
Got room in the gutter for more?
We all float down here…
6 months in a leaky boat…
Still one of my fav covers:
I like that version too, Van. I think you were the one that first told us about it. 🙂
CW: Red Dwarf S1 E1
I had forgotten about the laughter.
Yours or the laughtrack’s?
I just can’t remember if it was a case of canned or filmed in front of a studio audience sort of thing.
RD for me, is a show I like but I just don’t break out laughing when watching it.
“No its a chicken…”
C’mon Nashville. Lets get it done, shall we?
Just the good ol’ boys. . . . never meanin’ no harm. . .
I SAID EARMUFFS!!!
Oh, ear. Gotchya.
Radulov is a local boy right?
I’m not here. Just giving you something to ponder on
For the NHL Playoff brackets we have… Can the losers do Play-By-Plays of their movies?
My first thought is yes, but I’ll go with what ever the group says.
NPR’s Planet Money podcast is one of the smartest things your can stick in your head. Today’s episode was particularly interesting. While I still think the likes of Ken Lay and Bernie Madoff are pretty much scum of the Earth, this suggests we may not all be immune when temptation/desperation comes along.
I recently researched percentages of people who commit fraud, based on what the en-devour was. I was motivated by what I see as a a public that is ready to condemn ALL people who receive public assistance based on the dozen or so folk tales of such things that pass around the Internet.
What I found was that in ANY group, be it home loans, credit card fraud, food stamps or investment banking … 3% to 5% of those participating commit some form of fraud.
I found this kind of startling. Glad the number is so low but interesting that it was so consistent.
I am also amazed at how we justify it as “just a few bad apples” when it is a millionaire that gets caught cheating but when it is some guy getting caught using food stamps to buy beer we condemn the entire welfare program.
In other news –
My allergy issue has ruined my Friday. Stuffy, achy and low fever now.
I want to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn but I am all out.
wtf happened to reaper?
Crap joke for the day:
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
*slow clap ending in slow clap*
And Detroit is gone gone gone. I’m surprised they didn’t put up more of a fight.
Yeah they just werent the same team 3/4 of the season through. Something was…off.
Next, Vancouver drops. (Unless they dont)
A little disappointing but not totally unexpected.
CD: sitting at the cinema waiting for the following to start:
I just read the plot and … seriously?
You are voluntarily going to see this?
Romantic comedy is painful enough but “must choose between the hatcheries expert and the boyfriend who she thought was lost in the war”?
Wait, are you being coerced?
Does someone have a gun pointed at you?
If yes, post this emoticon :pan: twice.
It was very pleasant and very English (even with the Scottish bits).
I’ve seen worse.
Are your allergies leaving you grumpy again? 🙁
my grumpy setting is on “eleven” today.
There ‘s a women on the train home that looks like a young Joan Cusack, even displaying some of her on screen mannerisms.
Liar. Joan Cusack never looked young
Not as impressive as the guy who looked like HP Lovecraft though.
Better, I suppose, than a woman who looks like John Cusack.
“There ‘s a women on the train home that looks like a young Joan Cusack”
Sounds like a line from a Bob Dylan song.
A view on why there is less malware on iOS:
And since we’re talking NHL. . . Really, Shanahan? *25* games for Torres?? It appears you’ll cave to the social media hysteria, rather than make the right call. The inmates are now running the asylum.
I was thinking 5.
So Essbee, interested?
After being around a convention hall filled with estrogen — Im ready for Game 5 of the NHL Playoffs. Blackhawks vs. Coyotes
We will be there in person to cheer the Coyotes to victory!
This week’s episode of Fringe rocked.
I was SOOOOO pleased with where that episode went. I was absolutely floored the entire episode.
That does look interesting.
Thanks for the find.
I am 3 episodes behind on Fringe.
“Oh, ear” – LOLs
I am so happy to be home, though am home and sick now.
Feel better, Ess.
Yo, fuck Don Ameche.
Do I hafta?
I’m not into necrophilia..
So, you’re more of a “Team Jacob” kind of guy?
I don’t remember Don Ameche in that movie.
“Twilight – the story of one girl’s struggle to choose between bestiality and necrophilia.”
Your crap joke for Sunday is:
An elderly man in the Atherton Tablelands had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and lychee trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a twenty litre bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said,
‘I’m here to feed the crocodile…’
Some old men can still think fast.
What’s a “litre”?
Think of a metre.
If Ottawa pulls off the upset itll be well well deserved. I cant remember the last year there were TWO 1-8 upsets.
I’m CW: hockey!
And its bye-bye Penguins
Another finished series. Looks like Cynful will have to choose between Rocky 6 and The Village. I’m sorry.
At least The Village is only 1/4 awful.
The Cutting Edge or Phoenix Lights will be played before Rocky VI or The Village.
please disregard the post above by me. Error x 100
That’s okay. I might’ve enjoyed those choices more.
I had resigned myself a week ago before Pittsburgh’s attempt at a rally.
Ready for rambling?
And happy birthday today to my favorite girl in the world.I can’t believe she’s 8!
Tell her happy birthday from me and Cali.
Oh not today… good stuff tho
Oh Salo it aint so!!!
Jarret just Stoll the series
Monday has come way too early this week. My wife and I share many things with each other, though I could do without the sharing of sinus infections…
those sure are the pits, Ed. Im sorry from one sufferer to another. What does work for me though, (aside from a good 14-day run of Augmentin) is daily Vitamin C, sinus rinses (NeilMed) and rest.
Good Luck and breathe easy.
I feel your pain.
Holy Crapfest Batman! 2012, the “movie” is a total shit storm of pooh.
On the plus side, there is a new KAMN episode out:
The Mayans were right!
Packed and ready to go. In a couple of hours I’ll go vote then off to the airport
Save Travels, Bunny
Have Ontarian fun, Bunny.
It’s a good think I keep a close eye on my banking. Just checked my credit card statement on line. Work messed up and charged the flight to my credit card. I told them I expect to get reimbursed when I get in.
I wanna sleep more.
btw, we are at the 10 day point… single digits HERE WE COME..
I expended entirely too much energy posting that in caps. *yawn*
Here I am, sitting at the air port, waiting to board my plane
Am I posting on the wrong thread?
No, I think it’s just quiet here in deadpan land, Cj.
My plane is late, by the way
CP: Sparks – “Angst in my pants.”
My plane hasn’t even landed at the airport, let alone ready for me to take off for parts east *sigh*
My iPad was at 99% when I left the house. It’s now at 74%. Hopefully I can make the 4 hour flight without it dying Lon me. I guess that all depends upon how long it takes fo me to actually get on the plane
In the last hour of “The Professional”, Leon died on Natalie Portman.
I don’t think he was above 74% though.
It was the salmon mousse!
Moral: don’t get: into it with psycho Gary Oldman.
Psycho Gary Owens is however, fair game.
She was 12 and that’s disgusting
CP: Cure – “Close to me”.
Hey, my plane has landed. Go figure
They have a tendency to do that. Fortunately. 😉
Now I just have to wait for the passengers to unload, remove and addd luggage,mrefuel. I think it’s still going to be a bit before I can actually board
Well have safe and happy travels when you do depart, Bunny.
I had an epic dream last night, with plot and everything. It was inspired by Jack’s short story “Bodies in the Water:” there was this giant manmade structure that a lot of people were living in, and it was raining so much that everyone had to escape from the structure, or they would drown. It wasn’t an enclosed dome, though; it was more skyscraper-like. An escape transport comes to the structure, but it’s a hot-air balloon, not a spaceship. Two people get into a fight over who gets to get into the balloon. Also, there’s a device that lets the user make someone else fight by typing commands at a command prompt.
After the hot-air balloon flies away, the rain becomes less intense, and a fleet of trucks starts pulling into the driveway that connects the giant structure to the rest of the world. The trucks start evacuating the rest of the people.
Crazy! I promise not to sir if you write it up as your own story.
#jokeruined by autocorrect
LOL! Thanks! 🙂
12 hours from the time I got to the airport to the time I got to my hotel. I’m tired.
I know van will have me beat next week but it was only suppose to be a four hour trip.
A three hour cruise
A three hour cruise
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Coyotes win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really? I’m more partial to Cougars.
Oh, wait … what are we talking about?
Joan Collins wins!!
Wooooooo!!! Bought tickets for the first home game of historic round 2, first ever for the Yotes. 🙂
1. Coyotes Win!
1a. Mike Smith is an iron-clad Gumby in front of the net.
2. A crowded bar full of Yotes fans cheered loudly
3. Coyotes Win!
3a. Gilbert Brule & Kyle Chipchura should always be linemates. Always.
4. Enjoyed a Breckenridge Oatmeal Stout (Thanks, Lo Pan)
5. Had a mini-celly at home for this historic day. Beer included.
6. People of Walmart (Sexy and I Know It) video is incredible.