Jack Mangans Deadpan #204: Return of the Maki

Making sandwiches while talking to Paul Maki.

Jack Mangans Deadpan #204: Return of the Maki

Special Guest Paul Maki

Ummmm… I’ve never had the Maki effect

Jack 0 – Lyrics everything

Promo (sort of) – The Twin Peaks Podcast (http://welcometotwinpeaks.com/news/twin-peaks-podcast/)

Greasy Nipples
Lost Ralph
DJ Bunny
DJ Bunny
Lo Pan
Vanamonde (Frist of the week)

Promo – Dr. Demento (http://www.drdemento.com/)

Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

Closing music – Solid Reborn

Once again, thanks to Paul Maki for being such a great guest *mwa!*

555 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #204: Return of the Maki

  1. Show notes are going to be a little late today, Jack. I’m taking my car in in about 20 minutes to remove the snow tires.

  2. Crap Joke Alert:

    Sam & Joe are in a pub when a woman starts chokin on her food. As she starts to go blue in the face Sam rushes over an goes behind her, whips her skirt up, pulls her knickers down & runs his tongue up and down between the cheeks of her arse ! The horrified woman gasps & spits the food across the room. Joe says well done Sam. I’ve heard of the hind lick manoeuvre but thats the 1st time ive seen it done!!

  3. On a different note, comments for April 2011 totaled 2,343. This was down from the same period last year

  4. Paul Maki: you actually pronounced everything correctly, or as correctly as I know the names.

    In the future all the game shows will be replaced by reality tv shows. This future being 2012.

  5. I don’t watch any “reality” shows. I have enough problems dealing with my own reality let alone anyone else’s

  6. Last night I realised that my nephew is very much a clone of me. The rather beautiful waitress at the restaurant was flirting with him and he didn’t have a clue..

  7. Ah womens and their secret codes. It’s a rare event when one breaks ranks and let’s you know what some of the hand signals are, but the intelligence is good when it happens.

  8. So it’s just me, my beer(s), and an empty deadpan bar tonight.

    Oh yeah, and everyone at the real bar I’m attonight, but they don’t know the way.

  9. I’d not been thinking of “Return of the Mack” yet heard about it twice in 24 hrs, once in this conversation, then a second time on the Frank Skinner Podcast. Odd.

  10. Morning!

    I am SO glad it’s Friday. I cannot tell you all what a crazy couple of weeks I’ve had.

    C: slamming coffee while my eggs boil so I can get to Evil around 6 a.m. Lots to do. . . lots to do . . .

    xox and mushies

  11. Great. Now I’ve started watching Twin Peaks. Like I really have time for this. Stupid damn brilliant shows that I missed and now have to go back and deal with. Grumble, grumble.

  12. Morning Pan!

    Know what I hate. People who say, “it’s de ja vu all over again” I just want to bob them in the nose, then show them what de ja vu means. :devil:

  13. Know what else I hate? When you take your car in to be serviced and the mechanics not only change your radio station (which I could live with) but they reprogram the radio so their new station is now programmed where your old station was. That ticks me off.

    (go ahead, ask me what kind of day I had yesterday… I dare you)

  14. Know what I hate? Employees who are supposed to send you a report daily but decide, since you’re waaaaay across the country, they can hold on to them and only send them once a week. No matter how much you plead, beg or threaten otherwise.

  15. Know what I hate? When my teddy bear recommends a free app and stupid I-tunes decides it doesn’t want to access the app store.

    (as you can see, my day today is shaping up to be as good as yesterdays)

  16. It was a bad enough day that I was grumpy to my hubby for no reason. I’m making him fudge today to make up for my grumpiness.

    • Lo Pan, busy busy busy. Maybe things will slow down next week. But good Finely got a call from my son from BMT (basic milatary training)

  17. Anime I’ve been watching:
    Gosick (ep 16) — excellent series
    Deadman Wonderland (ep 3) — good so far
    Hanasaku Iroha (ep 5) — very good slice of life series
    Battle Girls (ep 5) — fun alternate history show
    AnoHana (ep 3) — potential to be excellent
    Steins;Gate (ep 5) — good so far
    Tiger & Bunny (ep 5) — very good show about superheros on a reality show

    Shows I’m not sure I’ll stick with:
    Blue Exorcist (ep 3)
    [C] Control (ep 2)
    Aria no Hidan (ep 3)
    A bridge to the Stars (ep 4)
    Denpa Onna (ep 3)

  18. *ignores Jack*

    Well, errands have been run. Fudge is in the fridge setting. Now to rustle me up some grub and watch the noon news.

  19. I don’t know how Sam’s club can make any money selling hotdogs with krout, relish and 2 gallons of soad for $1.70 but i’m glad they do.

  20. Want You Gone (Jonathan Coulton)

    Well here we are again, Itโ€™s always such a pleasure, Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh, how we laughed and laughed, Except I wasnโ€™t laughing, Under the circumstances Iโ€™ve been shockingly nice.

    You want your freedom take it, Thatโ€™s what Iโ€™m counting on, I used to want you dead but, Now I only want you gone.

    She was a lot like you, (Maybe not quite as heavy), Now little Caroline is in here too. One day they woke me up, So I could live forever, Itโ€™s such a shame the same will never happen to you.

    Youโ€™ve got your short, sad life left, Thatโ€™s what Iโ€™m counting on, Iโ€™ll let you get right to it, Now I only want you gone.

    Goodbye, my only friend, Oh, did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it werenโ€™t so sad, Well you have been replaced, I donโ€™t need anyone now, When I delete you maybe Iโ€™ll stop feeling so bad.

    Go make some new disaster, Thatโ€™s what Iโ€™m counting on, Youโ€™re someone elseโ€™s problem, Now I only want you gone, Now I only want you gone, Now I only want you gone.

  21. Angels fear to tread where stands the fool
    But the air is warm, and the walls are cool
    So I’m kept away, so here I’ll stay
    Even the judges kneel and pray
    I am the winner in any event, SNAP!

  22. Space Invaders is that show where people surprise other people by redecorating their homes, right?

    Duhhhh! I dont live under a rock you know.

    • I think the Aerosmith song was already dealt with. How about some stolen dialogue from the movie Cocoon (set in Tampa) or a stolen paragraph from “Naked came the Manatee” (technically all writers from Miami rather than Tampa, but it’s close enough and who doesn’t love that title). Dave Barry is one of the authors. That should count for something.

      Or just make something up. Sing an ode to Cigar City Brewery or something.

  23. I’m into the Green Lantern trailer too, ditto.

    I think Sly B and I might be checking out Thor next week. We’re on vacation!

    So, how are you all?

  24. Needing to stay up late as possible. Got off work about 2:45PM, and next shift starts 11PM tomorrow night.

    So you may get a live-post PBP of something on Netflix streaming.

    Alas, it shall not be 21 Jump Street as they have pulled it from stream.

  25. Spent the night at LepreCon, did my toastmaster thing, introducing the famous people. Saw friends I never see anywhere except for these Cons. Good time had by all.

  26. I’ve been up for 25 hours, and oddly don’t feel too bad. I should have no trouble sleeping in prep for my shift tonight…

    OT is good, OT is good….

  27. EssBee – Fray is six months now, so she’s eating fruits and vegetables. We picked up a few teething rings for her today, the water filled kind, so she’s now playing “pick and throw”. I’m getting bored with the pick part, but she’s having a blast throwing.

    The adults are sick of the BS management at their jobs, but I’m sure you understand that bit. Rom is doing fine, though I wish he’d read more. And he drives me nuts complaining that he’s bored when he doesn’t have permission to use the PS3, though he has a gamecube in his room. And everything else that we wished for as kids. He’s not quite spoiled but… Damn close.

    So, good overall. And how’s yours? ๐Ÿ™‚ Neither of us have been around the Pan much lately.

    • Well now I want a few teething rings!

      We’re good here. Just celebrated a birthday for a niece who’s growing up way too fast. Same on the jobs.


  28. Quick story I have to share but realize only I find it hi-larious…

    Kids got it up their butt to have lemonade stand. I tell them its already 5pm and no-one will probably be out still looking for yard sales but there’s a half a pitcher of day old lemonade in the fridge and, if the do the work, they’re more than welcome to “sell” it out front. They say “ok” and put what I think is a very inflation laden 50 cents per cup price tag on the goods.

    Long story short… in 15 minutes they sold 3 cups and made 8$. Yeah, you do the math. Thats the last time I doubt their savvy. Jeebus.

  29. The problem with all these cool looking movies coming out is I have to wait until they come to video to see most of them ๐Ÿ™

  30. I missed you, my friend:

    demoncat said:

    given hollywood love of remakes. surprised that seeing this list no one had tapped the troma library for those films are just perfect to be remade . though surf nazies would have a tital change given how un pc nazies are and no studio would now a adays even consider children at play mostly due to the canibilism .

  31. Finally listening to this week’s Deadpan and cracking up over Jack trying to remember that guy’s name. The one with a V in the middle of it.

    Okay, so maybe ya had to be there…

  32. ^Some of those celebs are younger than I thought they were. LOL The only real surprise to me was Grant and Tory both being 40, they both seem like late 20’s to me.

  33. Also, not sure if this is sad or not, but I only know about half of those “celebrities”

    The Mythbuster guys each being 40 definitely comes as a surprise. I would have put money that I was older than either of them.

    • Lots of volunteers have shown up. About 3 days after the tornados, the local governments ask for volunteers. They were hopeing for 500, they got 2000!
      Still, there were some 60 homes destroyed just in my sister’s area. That’s a lot of rubble to sift through.

      That’s an interesting point. Ever wonder what happens after a neighborhood is reduced to kindling? Well … I guess I should call that in to the deadpan.

      Spoiler … it’s nothing like on TV.

      • See, every time someone bashes the U.S for being too jingoistic and “me-centric”(which I’m not really arguing with), folks up and support the shit out of each other. Just wish it didnt take a tragedy. Cliche but true

  34. Does anyone at all remember the band Letters to Cleo? Forgot how awesome and terrible they could be. Groovin on em.

  35. Hey Pan

    Having a yuck day so far this morning.

    My kitchen tap decided it doesn’t want to shut off so we had to shut off the main water valve to the house. I took it apart, which was a bad idea. Called our regular plumbers, they can’t get in until next week. The next plumbers I called will be in between 2 and 4 this afternoon. Going the whole day without running water sounds like fun to me.

    • TEB: Depending on the type of faucet you have, the “stop” pin might have broken off. The easiest thing to do is to replace the faucet. It really isn’t hard to do, but it can be intimidating if you haven’t done it before.

      • You do not want to know what’s involved in changing the faucet. Being an older home, the faucet is soldered into the copper pipes with no joints (I’ve changed the bathroom tap once because it’s more modern so I do know a bit of what’s involved). I think I’ll leave it to the professionals.

      • Yeah, once you described that there were not cutoffs, I figured it would not be fun. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.

  36. Jack, I know I owe you a recording. I was planning to do it today but… I kind of have other things on my mind. Like how am I going to go to the bathroom with no water?

    • TEB: Under the sink should be two cutoff valves: one for the cold, and one for the hot water. Turn them to the right (I think) and that will shut the water off to the tap. Then you can turn the main water back on.

      • You would think that wouldn’t you? No our house is an older home so doesn’t have any of those new fangled tap things. I want to renovate my kitchen so we’ve been putting off some of the minor repairs until then but sometimes it just can’t be helped. I won’t be renovating until the cat passes on because having workers in would kill her (really it would)

          • For one day? naw, I think I can survive. We do have two bathrooms so when I finish with one I’ll use the other. Bottled water works for hand washing and little stuff. In theory, the tap will be working by the time I need to make dinner, especially since hubby has said he’s going to be an hour or two late coming home.

  37. By the way, Here are the standings so far:

    ROUND 1
    JR Murdock sings Shania Twain โ€“ Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under
    Jack Sings Kiss โ€“ Detroit Rock City (DONE!)
    Ed from Texas sings Grateful Dead โ€“ Estimated Prophet
    Cj sings Mel C and Bryan Adams โ€“ When Youโ€™re Gone
    Ditto sings Rocky Theme โ€“ Gonna Fly Now (optional)
    Energizer Bunny Sings Bostonโ€™s โ€“ Donโ€™t Look Back
    Lost Ralph sings Aerosmith โ€“ Lightning Strikes
    Nobody had New York so nobody sings for Lo Pan.

    ROUND 2
    Lo Pan Sings Aerosmith – Lightning Strikes
    Nomad Scry sings Mel C and Bryan Adams โ€“ When Youโ€™re Gone
    Nobody had Philadelphia so they don’t have to sing
    The San Jose/Detroit series is still going on.

  38. Speaking of which, we just saw the Terry Pratchett live action movie Going Postal. I think it was the best of the three we have seen (Hogfather, Colour of Magic, and Going Postal). I was kind of meh on the animated ones.

    • Your right about that Amy. The stories I have heard are simply fantastic but very few people write them down.

      Interesting note – ran into volunteers who had come from the Gulf Coast. They had been helped by volunteers from my sister’s area after Katrina and were now returning the good deed.

      What goes around ….


    Through a friend, my sister has been put in touch with a FEMA employed, victim advocate!
    This woman has worked as a building contractor in FLA AND was an adjuster for 2 major insurance companies so she not only knows EXACTLY what to look for as far as damage that needs to be fixed … she knows ALL THE TRICKS!
    Apparently there are things that the insurance companies are required to cover you for/do for you … but unless you actually know to ask for these things they aren’t required to voluntarily tell you about them. Evil Inc at it’s finest.

    Anyway, she talked with this woman yesterday and reports that for the first time since the storm … she actually slept through the night last night.

    Yea advocates! Yea FEMA!

  40. I’m picking out a faucet for you. Not an ordinary faucet for you. But the extra best faucet that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.

  41. Actually, I told him to give me the cheapest faucet they had. As I said, I’m redoing my kitchen probably within a year and paying for the stupid thing twice kind of annoys me

  42. Good Lord – I’ve heard about this – cheap faucets! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?

      • Well there’s a giant line between not kicking out of bed and being named #2 sexiest in the world. Someone put it best when they said, “Olivia Munn is Dairy Queen sexy. If you saw her behind the counter she would come off as smokin. In the big ol’ world of actresses, tho, shes way down the list”.

        I tend to agree. And I tend to think I’m spending too much time dissecting this.

  43. And it seems the #1 spot goes to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Who is she, you ask? Well shes a Victoria Secret model and Megan Fox’s replacement in the new Transformers movie. She also needs to eat a lil somethin.

    • I honestly don’t know. I have never read it. I have read more articles in play boy. Mostly while I worked for the company that prints play boy. My press didn’t print the pictures.

  44. I feel like Mr Rogers to day. Got to work took my coat off. Changed shoes (I have to ware steel toed shoes at work). Got cold so I put on my other coat. now i just need a song to sing.

  45. Hey deadpan. Sitting at the doctors waiting for the kinestheologist

    Saw the doctor already. She said I could travel to Arizona but might have to double up on my meds during the three hour flight

    Now to set things up with my goddess and Jack. I’m thinking the second weekend of July

  46. Sent an e-mail to Cj (cc’d Jack). How strange is it that the first place I want to go after being cleared for travel, is Arizona?

    Of course, since nobody wants to go to Arizona in the summer, flight prices are amazing.

  47. About to crack open a Big Jamoke Porter.

    *nods to LR across the bar like Boba Fett nodded to Boushh across Jabba’s Palace*

  48. CD: World Wide Imperial Stout from Dogfishhead

    Roast and dark fruits with the aroma and taste. I’m giving this a 4 out of 5 about equal to Mephistopheles but for different reasons.

  49. I walked past two giant pallets of Season One of He-Man just now. That was from replication.

    Here in duplication, I have a title about “Anal Irrigation” it is a medical-looking thing but I am hoping it is about very careful watering of crops.

    • Pandora’s comedy music station has been trying to push country music down my throat for the last half hour, so I read “two giant pallets of Season One of He-Man” as “Season one of He-Haw”. This, of course, lead to flashbacks of hats with tags hanging off of them, people jumping up from a field of corn to tell horrible jokes, and I gar-un-tee that I will have the “where o where are you tonight” song running through my head all day. Fuckashitpiss.

  50. Why does 3/4 of the songs that Pandora find eligible for a comedy music radio station have to be rap and/or country? I keep maxing out my ability to put a thumbs down of stuff.

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