Jack Mangans Deadpan #198: Nine Inch Smurfs

Brainy Show Notes.

My thanks to the Energizer bunny for her Show Notes write-up.

I think we’ve done something pretty special here with the Nine Inch Smurfs collaboration, something that’s never been done before, and I want to thank everyone for their brilliant ideas and contributions. (I’ll update this space later with the full credits)

Jack Mangans Deadpan #198: Nine Inch Smurfs

Deadpan is Bad Ass

Promo – Untrue Tales Book Four by Teel Mclanahan

Ditto doesn’t know why he’s calling

Earbuddies
EssBee
Jeremy from Seattle

Nine Inch Smurfs – PG version
Thanks to everybody who contributed

Golden Girls idea by Lo Pan

Earbuddies
Jeremy from Seattle
EssBee

Smurf idea by Lo Pan

Paul Maki meets a big guy

Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

Closing content – Nine Inch Smurf – R rated version

616 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #198: Nine Inch Smurfs

  1. Hey Van, I finally watched the video you linked for Al Lewis. Very nice, reminded me aurally of Oasis. And I dig the way Welsh (??) doesn’t so much roll off the tongue as get stuck everywhere and forces its way out.

  2. Oh and for those not on facebook, a crap joke for your Thursday morning:

    I got invited to a dinner with Garry Kasparov the other night. I noticed that the table we sat at had a chequered tablecloth…

    It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

  3. A few years ago, I went to dinner with Anatoly Karpov, Victor Korchnoi and Bobby Fisher. There was a fist fight, followed by the singing of ABBA-guys/Tim Rice tunes.

  4. Morning Pan

    I woke up with a sore throat this morning. I blame all you sickly Deadpanites for spreading your germs around the board.

    *grumble, grumble* that’s what I get for hanging around with a bunch of sickos *grumble, grumble*

  5. My boss is away for the next couple of days. As such, I am already done everything I have to do for the day.

    Woo Hoo! :cheerful:

  6. I always took offence to Smurfette. She was originally an evil brunette that was turned into a good, sweet blond. I know a number of evil blonds.

  7. At least he was able to maintain the structural integrity of his head while blowing mind all over.

    If there’s one thing Lo Pan is good with, it is structural integrity, oddly enough…

  8. What hasn’t happened in a long time, Van? You sharing your coat, Lo Pan’s brains bubbling all over the floor? Or Cj and I cuddling? :cheerful:

  9. The news today says invitations to the royal wedding have been sent out. Knowing what postage is like between Britian and Canada I guess I can expect my invite in about three weeks

  10. Warning! Danger!
    Just found my bestest beer EVER.

    Chimay Blue.
    (and I had decided that by the 2nd sip so that is NOT just the 9.0abv talking … although the ABV does have a LOT to say right about now)

  11. I shall run to my fav beverage store (Applejack Liquor, featured in Beer Wars!) and pick me up some Blue. Also a bottle of Russian River Damnation Golden Ale. Its going to be a Belgian kind of night.

    Now if only that Belgian was Jessica Van Der Steen.

    Ill get Van’s coat…

  12. jj: I love Chimay Blue. It’s one of my favorites for a long time. I wish I had some right now. It would certainly make me feel better. πŸ™‚

    Rhettro: Loud moaning is always a plus.

  13. re: GM Gunbot
    I think they have decided that for half of what they spend on marketing, they could simple send the Gunbots out to threaten to exterminate anyone not driving a GM car.

  14. Well, killed a bunch of creatures. Found out the guy holding my sister is evil (duh). And just generally moved the story forward.

    Now sucking on a Halls and contemplating making meatballs for tonight’s spaghetti dinner

  15. On a related note, know what ticks me off? Buying “extra lean” hamburger and still having to drain fat from the pan. What’s that about?

  16. Picked up 1 bottle, Chimay Blue.

    Picked up 1 bottle, Avery 2011 Collaboration Not Litigation Ale (cant wait!)

    Still in for a Belgian evening. If only that Belgian was Sylvie De CaluwΓ©.

    Someone have Van’s coat…?

  17. Good morning.

    Sarah has a fever and a cough.

    Fletcher has a fever and an affinity for snuggling and rubbing my arms.

    I have a desire to go back to bed and sleep.

    Something tells me that I’m up for the day.

  18. Fox is basically well I think, Iris has runny nose and night cough. Darcy is recovering from stomach ailment, possibly due to a bad german chocolate brownie. I’m probably going to sleep 4 hours during daylight, but not sure if Darcy wants more help for AM or PM…

  19. Morning Pan.

    Ugh.

    Tried to sleep in this morning by hubby was couldn’t get the lid off the co2 detector to change the battery so I was rudely awakened to him banging on the thing.

    Ugh.

  20. I promptly grabbed a stool and had the thing off in a couple of minutes. I love my hubby dearly but mechanically inclined he is not.

  21. Well, back to work even though I’m still sick. Just too much to do. At least I feel a lot better than I did the past couple of days.

    BTW, I finished reading the Hunger Games trilogy. Great series. I think the only reasons that this can be considered YA is the writing style, and the fact the character is 16-17. Books 2 & 3 are far more brutal than the first book.

  22. Working from home is both an advantage and disadvantage when you’re ill. Advantage – you don’t have to leave home and can stay snuggled up warm. Disadvantage – you’re working from home so have no real excuse to take time off

  23. “…I was rudely awakened to him banging on the thing.”

    Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you like) you said you “had it off” instead of “got it off.”

    *Grabs a random coat*

  24. Kevin Pollak tells a story from the making of “Willow.” He played one of the sprites, and their stuff was shot greenscreen in a studio. Apparently Ron Howard was all big direction and description “and you DUCK someone almost STEPPED on you!” etc.

    One day Ron was unavailable, and George Lucas stepped in to direct a few scenes, and was more like “Action… Okay cut. That was pretty good, let’s do it again…”

  25. Tis sad but true.

    Well not sad as such, as it means everybody has better things to do.

    Umm, well found out today that the Canadian holiday I had booked is definitely off. The only up side is that the money for the deposit will be returned as the holiday company messed up.

  26. *Oscar spoiler

    Natalie winning best actress makes me either pissed that she mailed it in for the prequels or livid that Lucas’ writing was worse than I thought. I dont know which.

  27. This^

    I call bullshit. I worked in Staten Island for 2 weeks… I never saw a child, let alone a whole chorus.

    And so ends the whitest, “hippest” Oscars ever. Mmmmboooo.

  28. Yawn.

    This beer is the only thing that made staying up for the Oscars worth while.
    Well … maybe Ann Hathaway’s last dress … but I could have waited to see that on the Interwebs tomorrow.

  29. EssBee: Thanks for the shout-out, and for the compliment on my clarinet playing! :happy:

    Just finished watching the Oscars. Because I’m fond of cooking as a medium for fan-artistic expression, I also made a special cake to celebrate the night. The recipe and pictures are up at my LJ.

    I’m very happy about the four technical awards that Inception won, and equally happy about all the awards that The King’s Speech won. Those are the only two nominated films I actually saw.

    Good night, spinning top.

  30. Basically the company said they couldn’t give us the dates we had booked a year in advance. Since my holidays are rather inflexible due to shift work, I couldn’t go on the dates they wanted to change the holiday too.

  31. Based solely on the first four hours of my Monday, this week is going to blow chunks.

    That said, I’d rather have this than have my big trip fall through. I’d be ripshit livid if I were you, Van.

  32. Whoa, holy reversal, Batman. Up is now down, and single-page comment board a thing of the past. I think this was one of the last single-pagers I knew of…

    • Don’t get me wrong, the single-pagers I used to do had the threaded commenting all the way back to the Anarchy board in the late 90’s so yay threading…

    • Not so good with the default Android Browser, at least on my G1, but that version of Android is pretty out-of date. All the text is in a 5-character-or-so wide stripe. May have to re-dl the opera browser or some other to see if that is better.

      • Do you have access to the Skyfire browser? I used to have that on my old Windows Mobile phone and it did a splendid job of making the real web work on a 3″ screen. I thought I’d heard they’d made an Android version, but… ?

  33. Fine tuning is still a work in progress. The more feedback about how this looks in different browsers and mobile devices, the better.

    As for the avatars, they are all being pulled from gravatar.com. Folks who don’t have a Gravatar profile will just show up blank.

    In order to clean up the feed, there’ll be a switchover from podpress to powerpress a little later. Some missing shows have already been incorporated back into the website, but if you find or know of any more that are missing the MP3 enclosure, let us know!

    • It works in Firefox while using the NoScipt, AdBlock, and Flashblock plugins so I’m happy.

      It also works, and is much faster to load, in the standard browser on my Android phone.

  34. Jon Chu, the mastermind who brought us such classics as:

    Step Up 2: The Streets
    Step Up 3-D
    and
    Never Say Never: The Justin Bieber Documentary

    is going to direct the next Gi Joe film. AS if that franchise could get worse. Here’s hoping for some mad street dance offs between Snake Eyes and Zartan.

  35. I think prefer the thumb of death, having all the comments on one page was/is a good idea.

    It’s why ‘The Register’ pisses me off, easier to scroll down then keeping clicking on page numbers.

  36. CD(oing): Finishing a for-pay voiceover project (Yes, I do this now. Via Fiverr.com. Don’t worry, Deadpan content from me will always be free. :happy:) I will be SO glad when this is finally done.

  37. While I really like The King’s Speech, I still don’t think it deserves Best Original Screenplay, since it’s based on a true story. Maybe they need another category.

  38. I enjoyed King’s Speech. I don’t have a comment on the screenplay bit, though. It was a helluva lot better than Social Network and The Kids Are Alright, IMO.

  39. He does… but, it’s endearing. I would probably have a crush on the character that he played in The Social Network if I actually met that guy in real life.

    I’m unique in my own ways.

  40. Watched Social Network last night, actually… and disliked Zuckerberg, Timberlake, and the twins as much as the movie intended.

    When Fincher’s on, holy crap he’s on. When he’s not, find a Panic Room.

    • I watched it with my mom yesterday too. Mom fell asleep after about 20 minutes and I sat there and wondered why it was Oscar-worthy.

      I do like Eisenberg, Cj, just am missing the “hawt” part.

  41. Don’t forget, The Social Network is LOOSELY based on Mark Zuckerberg and the creation of Facebook. From what I understand, the producers took a lot of liberties

  42. Really? It’s going to start my comments on a brand new page? Call me grumpy, but that’s going to get annoying after a bit. Especially when trying to follow comments

  43. I do think the threading option should remain intact, even if most of us will never use it. And even if it is a bit annoying to most of us.

    As a general rule, I think options are usually better than limitations.

  44. On another note: Rhettro, I finished Two Worlds II. I dust do all the side quests and still put in about 35 hours so, even though the game was a little cleche, I feel I got my money’s worth

  45. I agree with Jack, leave the threading in. Just dint be surprised if I don’t use it or miss a few comments *shrug*

    Maybe Van and I are starting to show our age. :cheerful:

  46. I am having an absolutely delicious Samual Smith’s Oatmeal Stout to help kill this pain in my jaw/gum.

    Wow this is a tasty beverage. Who knew a stout could rock you in it’s arms like this?

  47. … and another thing.
    Why is it legal to pay someone THAT much money to lay you back in a chair and feel PAIN but it is illegal to pay them the same amount of money to lay you back in that same chair and make you feel the 180degree opposite of that pain? Huh? Why?

  48. Tonight, in approx. 2 hours to be exact, I’ll be drinking a Snakebite courtesy of Four Peaks… while sitting in Four Peaks Brewing Co.

    Is it time to go yet? I am ready!

  49. I get the comments through the RSS feed, so threading is meaningless to me. The comments still show up in chronological order with no threading.

    It was a bit disconcerting when I clicked on the last comment in the RSS feed and was directed to halfway up the page where the comment was threaded instead of the bottom of the page where the newest comment would normally be. But, I can easily get used to that.

    Seems like a lose-lose situation for me. If I continue to read the comments through the RSS feed, I loose the ability to see the threaded comments (I’m sure I will miss some continuity that will be assumed in these posts). If I switch to reading the comments on the site, I loose the ability to know where the new comments are. With threading, I will have to go through the entire set of comments again to figure out where the new ones were posted.

    Think I’ll keep reading on the RSS feed for now.

  50. Straight from Summer ^^^

    summer
    February 28, 2011 at 9:03 pm Β· Reply

    500 is too many per page… the longer your pages take to load, the more problems it can inflcict on the server (one of the reasons I’m updating all the older sites).

    I say play with 100 and 250, see where the happy medium is. Change is good. Embrace it.

    @Van: too late. the negative is all you πŸ˜‰

    Problem is, with threading, the comments will never be in just chrono order, even if they’re all on one page. The threads will be in group order.

  51. Okay, if I zoom back from the default, it sizes out to be functional on the standard browser on my G1. Did not find that any other browser worked any differently.

    But Deadpan is a definite go on my phone now.

  52. I’m ok with limiting the number of comments per page. It will definitely help reduce bandwidth and server stress, after all, we can comment a lot.

    I’m not sure if wordpress (or whatever this is) supports it, but maybe the current page for comments can use “latest” instead of a page number? That way refreshes will keep you current even if the comments get paged.

    • They quite a way from the last playoff spot, but given that they’ve won 9 of their last 10 games, it isn’t totally impossible they’d make it.

  53. “CITY OFFICIALS in Providence, R.I., have announced the mass firing of all 1,926 teachers in Providence schools, effective at the end of the school year.”

    Are you fucking kidding me…

  54. NS posted a link to that story on Twitter a while back.

    I gathered that due to the contract, they have to give a certain amount of warning if pay and conditions need to change.

    So although all the staff have got pink slips, not all are going to be fired.

  55. Hubby said his commute to work this morning took two hours (normally 40 minutes). I’m going roads and traffic will be better for the drive home

  56. In case we haven’t figured it out, I’m done for the day. At least I’m making myself done for the day. I spent 10 hours at my desk today. My doctors would be proud… Not

  57. Jack, it’s suppose to get to -6 on Thursday. I might take advantage of the warmer weather (don’t laugh) and go downtown. That means you may or may not get show notes, depending upon when I get back

  58. Yikes. Safe travels up there in Calgary! Maybe you should drop in at a Timmy’s, while you’re out? This is an Unshow week anyway :), but thanks for the heads up.

    Interesting read about Zeppelin IV: http://books.google.com/books?id=6A3_LR6JtWgC&printsec=frontcover&dq=erik+davis+led+zeppelin+iv&source=bl&ots=t6RL2Op6x1&sig=BxIjmP8Y_0BiEx3hjbv7lxf-gGw&hl=en&ei=SC5tTZHHKoT58Aadz-CMDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCkQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q&f=false

  59. I didn’t know Elton John and his partner adopted. While one side of me says that’s cool, another side questions having a newborn when you’re pushing sixty. How hard is it going to be keeping up with a kid when they’re reaching their teens and you’re into your seventies? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

  60. My fav quote from the latest Ansible (thog’s masterclass) :

    ‘”I love you,” Jack told her as he drove into her, taking her completely with one stroke, making love to her all over the room wherever she looked, but the best place to look was right in front of her, directly into the head and passion of his gaze.’ (Anna Windsor, Captive Heart, 2011)

  61. Deadpanites, I would like to pick your collective brain about music yet again. I hope you don’t mind.

    I’m working on another fanmix, but there’s a big hole in the story I’m trying to tell with it. I’m currently on the hunt for a song that matches the following scenario and sentiment:

    Guy and Girl once knew each other, then fell out of touch for a fairly long while. Now, circumstances have put them back in each other’s lives, and they’re attracted to each other but are reluctant to admit it to each other and pursue a relationship. The song can be from either the guy’s or the girl’s point of view, or both. I have a slight preference for the girl’s point of view, because the songs before and after this one will both be from the guy’s point of view. (Those songs are “The Bends” by Radiohead and “Think I’m In Love” by Beck.)

    • I don’t think this is what you are looking for, but your query reminds me of Dreamtheater’s Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a Memory. The guy is undergoing hypnotherapy to regress to a former life where there was this girl and… really, I’m not sure what happens but it’s really good despite.

    • Depending on the circumstances of the couple falling out of touch: Entre Nous by Rush would be good

      And speaking of circumstances: Circumstances by Rush

  62. BTW Nomad, I keep forgetting to answer your question… Yes, I think I’d like to do remixes with less noise, then make the Nine Inch Smurf versions available for download.

    Sadly, those also wouldn’t work for Amy’s project.

    Goodnight :dune:

  63. Amy, I tried looking at “Your Wildest Dreams” by the Moody Blues, but that’s of a guy wondering if the love of his youth still remembers him, not so much about the renewal part.

  64. Amy – what about CHicago’s “Color my world” ?

    COLOR MY WORLD (Chicago)

    As time goes on I realize
    Just what you mean to me
    And now, now that you’re near
    Promise your love
    That I’ve waited to share
    And dreams of our moments together
    Color my world with hope of loving you

  65. Amy, there might be a better version of It’s all Coming back to me. I didn’t find the best one.

    My comment is awaiting moderation maybe due to all the links?

  66. Wait, is there a Nevermore song I can recommend? Probably not in this case. Seems like there may be a song off of Kate Bush’s “Sensual World” album that may work. “Between a Man and a Woman” comes to mind, but it is more about conflict.

  67. J0e has sparked my interest a bit. I Groovesharked a few more Professor Elemental tunes, and was generally pretty pleased; the guy has clever, catchy samples and beats with niche-y lyrics. Can he sustain the chap-hop gimmick?

    *twirling my handlebar mustache*

  68. ditto,

    He hung his head in shame for suggesting a timheless song by Cyndi.

    But wHATEver.

    I shall blow raspberries in Jack’s general direction.

  69. No, he hung his head in shame for not being able to come up with other suggestions, not for suggesting that song. At least that is my impression.

  70. Cool medical program on the TV, where they take cancerous organs out of the body, zap them with higher doses of radiation than possible insitu, and put the organs back.

  71. demoncat said:
    hilerious finaly some one did a take off of good night moon and made it awesome.almost tempted to have some kids some day so i can share the joy of good night dune with them.
    Posted Wednesday, March 2, 2011, at 5:54 pm

  72. Currently VERY much enjoying a Lefthand Oak Aged Wake Up Dead Russian Imperial Stout. Absolutely delish. There’s a hint of chocolate covered cherries here. If it was on Pintley (and of course its not) it would be a strong 4.8

  73. Bea is life. Bea is death. Bea… is everywhere. She cannot be removed. Not in mind, body, or spirit. She is all. She is one. We are one.

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