372 thoughts on “WTFunshow 86

  1. Your crap joke for the day:

    An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.A gentleman approached her and said,
    “Pardon me, madam.I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”

    “Yes, I know,” said the lady. “I need both my hands to hold onto this hat.”

    “But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

    The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

  2. Hey Pan

    It snowed again last night. So far, we’ve had a dusting of snow every night for the last week. I’m sure my calendar said it was spring.

  3. Ok peeps, it’s movie time

    Today’s movie is The Pirates! Band of Misfits

    The DVR write up: in this high seas ad venture for the whole family, Pirate Captain competes against his two biggest rivals for the title of Pirate of the Year, while he teams up with a love struck scientist to battle an evil queen

    • Hey pixie, it was good. They had props from all six movies. The Identities bit was a little hokey but what are you going to do?

      I have pictures I put on my iPad. I can show you them when I’m out there in Mat

  4. This “The Name of the Rose” Netflix DVD is obviously going to be here with me unwatched until I’m as old as Sean Connery. Right next to the Samurai DVD that I’ve also had for months. I need to get better at downtime.

  5. Speaking of coffee makers, my cheapo Mr. Coffee finally bit the dust and I got an aeropress. ditto, do you have one?

    So far, I LOVE it. I’m not yet sure what I’ll do when my mom & dad come to visit next, as dad likes to get up at 4:30 and drink a pot, but I’ll figure something out by then.


  6. Crap joke for the day:

    A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
    A passing tramp stops and says, “Since you’re about to kill yourself, if you don’t mind, could we have sex, please?”
    The woman says, “No, fuck off!”
    The tramp turns to leave and mutters, “Fine, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom.”

  7. Crap joke for a windy Thursday:

    A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, “Who is this?”
    “This is the maid.”, answered the woman.
    “We don’t have a maid!”
    “I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.”
    “Well, this is her husband. Is she there?”
    “Ummm …. she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband.” The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, “Listen, would you like to make $50,000?”
    “What do I have to do?”
    “I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with.” The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. “What should I do with the bodies?” “Throw them in the swimming pool!”
    “What?! There’s no pool here?”
    Long pause… “Uh …. is this 832-4821?”

  8. I was listening to a Steve Martin being interviewed for a Radio 2 folk show (about his latest CD).
    Steve Martin was in LA, the interviewer was in the UK. Sound quality was crystal clear,

    Amazing at times this future we now live in.

  9. I think my furnace may have stopped working. It seems to be blowing cold air and the temperature in the house is three degrees lower than what we have the furnace set for.

    I’ve played with it a bit but if it doesn’t come back on in about half an hour, I may have to call for service.


  10. I feel your furnace pain, EB and am not making light, but “I’ve played with it a bit but if it doesn’t come back on in about half an hour, I may have to call for service.” is the greatest sentence ever.

  11. WTF? Furnace started working again on its own. I wonder if hubby was playing with the thermostat last night. I will have to ask him when he comes home. As far as I could tell it was set for the right temperature but maybe he changed an automatic setting without realizing it.

    Oh well. I have heat, that’s all that matters to me. :cheerful:

  12. In other news, I saw last night that Jared Axelrod ‘came out’ on his blog. Sorry, can’t find the link, atm. If you can, however, then you’ll note that he makes a pretty compelling case for equality of couples.

    I’ve been out of that East Coast scene for awhile, and so I never got to know him and his wife, J.R., all that well, but I met them enough times to vouch for them as awesome people.

  13. CR: Hyperion – Dan Simmons
    This was in a collection of top 100 scifi books, but I can’t say I’m impressed so far. He has some stock writing methods that leap out at me and bring me out of the moment. He is also really long winded and I find myself yelling at the book to just get to the damn point already. Is it just me?

      • Actually that may come over as a being flippant and that was not my intention.

        Hyperion was the first Dan Simmons novel I had read, and I enjoyed the plot and the characters but did get frustrated at the lack of answers.

    • I have lots to say about Hyperion :).

      You should know that Hyperion is not a complete story; everything is resolved in the sequel, Fall of Hyperion. It really should have been published as one volume.

      I read those books during my college days and loved, loved them. I liked, liked books 3 and 4, which function as a sequel. In fact, the AI stuff was a pretty large influence on that part of Spherical Tomi.

    • Yep, just you. 🙂

      I loved the book, but it really isn’t for everyone. One thing to keep in mind, this is a modern take on The Canterbury Tales. And like Jack said, you won’t know what happens until you read the sequel(s).

    • I got the Canterbury Tales aspect. I’m in the poet’s story right now and it is possible that some of the frustration is intentional (i.e., the poet is supposed to be long winded and no one in the group is enjoying his tale any more than I am).

        • I already have a set of likes and dislikes. I like Tolkein, Clark, Varley, Brin, Stephenson, Morrow and a whole, whole lot more. Don’t like Asimov, Greg Bear, Donaldson, but not too many. Overall, I like more than I dislike. I’ve been debating whether to stick it out and see if I can get something out of Hyperion or give up. He doesn’t seem to be a polarizing author (many likes, many dislikes) so I will stick it out and see what I can get out of it.

    • Van, I just finished Pat Summitt’s memoir (Sum It Up) and thought about you and your dad a lot as I read. If you don’t know who she is, she’s the winningest college basketball coach of all time whose career was cut short recently with a diagnosis of early onset dementia, alzheimer’s type. I’m not sure the book is for everyone, because it’s deep info into her women’s bball teams and history and stuff, but her foundation is of interest.


  14. I just talked to a co-worker in Boston. She reported that she received a reverse-911 call in the middle of the night saying “stay in your house and don’t answer the door unless you see a police officer” from the mayor. She said it’s pretty frightening, and her home-care nurse for her mother can’t get to them.

    Man, scary.

  15. Good morning.

    With all the bad news, I thought I’d share a positive.

    I had a 2 1/2 hour MRI this morning. Turns out, the pictures prove, I still have a brain.


  16. German word for the day: What is a “friedhofjodler”? Or literally translated, “cemetery yodeler?”

    In the old days tuberculosis was incurable. Whoever got it eventually died from the disease. The cough of a tubercular is apparently very different sounding from that of a normal cough. In Vienna when people familiar with the sound of that specific cough heard it, they’d say “There goes a friedhofjodler.”

  17. We saw that Oblivion movie today, so we could be more like Van.

    Meh. Not terrible.

    Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy. Strange how he keeps getting older, but the age of his female co-stars always stays the same.

    Pixie felt that in spite of Lo Pan’s crush, the Eastern European actress’s performance was lacking.

  18. My taste buds are getting old, I’m finding this black coffee that I have in my hands rather palatable.

    The maple syrup and sugar may help of course.

  19. Happy Monday, Pan!

    Now that my oh-some-consuming project at work is complete and my presentation is over… I can set my sights on helping with the MMMmmmeetup planning and getting everyone settled into town.

    Hit me with ideas, questions, comments, chains-whips-candlesticks, etc.

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