871 thoughts on “Unshow Un 35

  1. “Full beers,” Jack walked over to the bar where Joe was buffing away with a bar towel.

    Joe looked up, “What was that?” and then as an afterthought, “Nice legs.”

    “You’d do better with full beers, or at least mugs of water, better weight to them.”

    “Yeah, I guess.”

    “Frosty mug would help too, I bet. It should be illegal to get this hot up in the mountains.”

    “I hear ya. Typically isn’t this bad.”

  2. Who will be the first to record themselves eating a creamcicle for the DP? (Don’t look at me, I’m more of a Del-Monte fruit-cicle person).

  3. Just then a small man burst through the front door of the bar. He paused a long moment, looking back out into the blinding sunshine, searching, then let the door fall closed. As he stepped up to the bar, Jack and Joe could see that he was panting and sweating profusely.

    “She’s-” he paused, gasped, took a deep breath. “She’s coming! I need to hide it! Please!”

    Jack looked to Joe, gave a little shrug. The small man placed a small black cube on the bar. “It needs to be hidden very well, or she will detect it.” Joe peered at the cube. “Hurry!” The man nearly shouted, in exasperation.

    Joe shrugged back at Jack, then pulled out the stepladder. “I’ll put it on the top shelf. Hmm, it’s heavy!” Joe hefted the leaden box up and pushed it into the cache hole.

    “It can’t be that simple!” the man panted, though he was regaining his breath by now.

    “Trust me,” said Jack. “That spot has hidden more than you’d believe in the recent past.”

  4. Hey, cynful – long time, no see!

    I think the amazon.com thing is curious, but am choosing to think the best (i.e., that it was a glitch). It’s been kind of a rough week to be gay, from my perspective, so I just couldn’t stand it if amazon.com was out to get me!

  5. You know in regards to TNG, I can remember hating Wesley but not Tasha Yar…where does the hate for TY come from?


  6. Van: Bad actress? I don’t know.

    I didn’t like either Wesley or Tasha, but I certainly didn’t hate them. The fandom can be unjustifiably harsh sometimes.

  7. Morning Van, Cynful, EssBee, etc, etc.

    I was never a TY fan. I actually liked Wesley more than her. I can’t really give a good reason why. She just never clicked for me.

    Now back to scanning photos. Presently doing wedding pictures. I wore black to my own wedding.

  8. Denise Crosby’s acting was pretty bad. I don’t personally have any Tasha hate – but since I am watching TNG through for the third time, I have to say that her lines (as well as many others’) simply were horrible. It’s not entirely her fault.

  9. And good morning now to EssBee, ditto, TEB, Cynful, again to Van, NS, and of course, JB who made me laugh out loud first thing this morning with

    ‘Joe looked up, “What was that?” and then as an afterthought, “Nice legs.”’

  10. It’s interesting because the focus has been on the LBT&G community but this effects even Health books and classic literature. One book mentioned in previous articles “Our Bodies, Ourselves” and authors Anais Nin, J.D. Salinger, Eugenides and Khalid Hossein.

    And I do think this would get attention if it was the SF&F community because it is amazing how powerful those authors can be and the community that supports them….. look around at all these amazing people.

    Okay…. endrant.

  11. The first cup of coffee is starting to take effect.

    I’ve packed my darling hubby his lunch (though he’s still snoring away in bed *jealous*), fed my kids breakfast, taken my vitamins, and even indulged in a nice toasty Eggo waffle myself.

    I’m toying with the idea of taking the kids on a little hike around The Riparian Preserve to see some birds this morning. http://www.riparianinstitute.org

  12. Or… I’ll just go grocery shopping because really, one cannot live on Red Vines, Robin’s Eggs, and coffee alone…

    Will wait until I’m well into my 2nd cup of coffee before I decide today’s fate.

  13. ditto, I knew that. I actually saw the book in our local book store.

    As for the TY discussion. I liked her better once she became a Romulan (spoiler alert?)

  14. TEB: Silly me going assuming things again. 😉

    And I agree, she was much better as a Romulan. And even when she reprised Tasha in the Enterprise C/D episode. I think by then the show had better direction and she decided to have fun with her new roles. I wish they did more episodes with her Romulan character.

  15. I haven’t watched DS9 yet. I’m looking forward to it!

    I’ve seen all of the Original Series once through, the first season of Voyager, and I’m on my third way through TNG. Just coming to the end of the 1st season there.

    Oh, and I did watch all of Enterprise, which unlike most people, I really enjoyed.

  16. Enterprise crew must get paid. There are some jobs on there I couldn’t see people wanting to do for free, even if it means travelling in space (red shirt?)

  17. A deep rumble filtered into the room from the street outside, getting slowly louder. “She’s here!” The little man’s breathing quickly un-recovered, and he began looking frantically about the room.

    Jack took the man firmly by the shoulder. “We can hide downstairs, you wouldn’t fit in the cache with your cube.” He looked to Joe. “We’ll be in the keg room, keeping cool.”

    The rumble grew even louder as Jack and the man went downstairs, then cut off suddenly. Joe put on a bar apron, and began to polish the bar. Bright sunlight flooded in from outside, and he could at first only see her silhouette, tall and sleek. The door fell shut and her footsteps rang through the quiet bar. She was clad in motorcycle leathers, impossibly tight and leaving very little to Joe’s fevered imagination. She had a body by DC and a face by Marvel, thought Joe.

    She looked down at him with an expression that somehow mixed condescendence and amusement, with just a drop of pity. “I am the Ambassador.” She sniffed deeply. “Where is the box?”

  18. I liked Enterprise, CJ. However I admit I liked the last season best. That seems to be when they decided to let go and have fun.

  19. Jack shivered a bit and folded his arms, looking across at the sweating, nearly-hyperventilating man. “Okay, let’s get some answers. Who are you, who is she, what is the box and why are you here?”

    The man swallowed hard, and attempted to bring his breathing back under control. “I’m Dr. John Boze,” he said in a small voice. “She calls herself ‘The Ambassador.’ The box is my experiment, and I’m desperately trying to hide it from her, but she keeps tracking me down.”

  20. Overall, I think Star Trek, on television anyway, peaked during the late seasons of DS9. Voyager had it’s moments, but could never really escape the whole “Gilligan’s Island in Space” concept.

    Enterprise stumbled to early. My wife watched all of it and I came back during the fourth season. I really would have liked to have seen in continue as they were coming along well by then. But, I think the verdict had already been given.

  21. Malcolm was too much of a whiner for me to really like him. But I admit I wouldn’t kick either Connor Traneer or Scott Bacula our of my bed 😉

    My husband has a T’Pol Christmas tree ornament 🙂

  22. The woman bent down, looking directly into Joe’s eyes. Her eyes are brilliant green, thought Joe, then…

    “I am the Ambassador, but you may call me Amelia.”

    Joe’s mind buzzed. “Amelia?”

    “And soon you will call me ‘Mistress!'”

    Joe blinked and the fuzziness faded away. “Uh, I think you may have me confused with my friend C.A.”

    “What? This is not possible. I smell the box. It is here, but it is everywhere, and you should be enthralled by me!”

  23. TEB – True.. Scott Bakula=YUMMY and I didn’t think much of Malcolm Reed until I was at the Star Trek con in 2007 and Dominic Keating walked right past me and stopped to offer me a big smile – I was just staring and he blushed and smiled more… I immediately fell in love.. In real life, he’s just delicious!

  24. He was also a vampire in an episode of Buffy. I remember we were rewatching it once and my husband and I saw him and both piped up “Hey, that’s Malcolm!”

  25. “I’d been increasingly fearful of what my measurements have been telling me about reality.”


    “It isn’t. I can say that firmly at this point.”


    “Right. We are living in an unreal universe. All around us is fiction.”

    “Are you really a doctor?”

    “No, the title just gets me laid.”

    “Oh, thought so.”

    “Yes, I’m really a doctor, and yes, this reality is not.”

    “So what is the box?”

    “Once my suspicions were 99 percent confirmed, I developed it to prove the last one percent. It works by concentrating the fictional vorticies in a localized spatiotemporal region.”

    “‘vorticies in a localized…’ Is this all true?”

    “Sort of. If you’d been paying attention just now you’d see that truth is fiction.”

    “My head is starting to hurt.”

    “That’ll happen.”

  26. “What is this place?” the tall woman was becoming demanding, whipping her head back indignantly, which caused her blonde tresses to arc backward, yet land in perfect array.

    “This is the Deadpan. Jack Mangan’s Deadpan.”

    “I will return, Jack Mangan. And I will have that box!” She turned and strode to the door. Joe watched her go. Really, couldn’t help himself, as this view was just as intriguing as when she entered.

  27. Well, I need to buy a new pair of work-out runners. Maybe I’ll have lunch at the mall at the same time.

    Later, Pan!

  28. “Well, the box is perfectly safe. The top shelf of this bar has it’s own pocket universe, as far as we can tell. Joe put it in there.” The small man grew pale and still. “What? It’s perfectly safe, I assure you…”

    “He couldn’t have!”

    “Well, sure it seems that way, given my understanding up till now of reality, but after what you just told me…”

    “No! I mean he couldn’t have, based on my calculations, inserted the box into a subset spatiotemporal reality construct.”

    “Uh, well, I can’t say it that multisyllabically, but, yeah. He did.”

  29. CP: American Dream — Lucinda Williams

    Last time I saw you, you had dirt under your nails
    Your eyes were glassy and you looked so pale
    You said my life has become a livin’ hell
    Ain’t got enough money to pay my bills

    Everything is wrong
    Everything is wrong

    Got a friend with a needle stuck in his arm
    He got hooked on heroin in Vietnam
    It used to help kill the pain some of the time
    Now I can’t sleep at all since I got back home

    I worked in the strip mines off and on
    Now I can’t seem to get rid of this cough
    Ain’t been many jobs these last few months
    And the last one I had I got laid off

    I ain’t got no hot water and they shut off the heat
    Can you loan me some money for something to eat
    Been out here on this corner for about a week
    Tryin hard to stand on my own two feet

    They want to try and tell me where I can live
    They kicked me off my land and told me they’d give me
    A nice little tract house with running water
    But how am I gonna explain that to my Navajo mother

    My American dream almost came true
    But the things they promised me never came through
    I believe in the American dream
    But things are never quite what they seem

    Everything is wrong
    Everything is wrong
    Everything is wrong
    Everything is wrong

  30. Back from spending money, again. Had a bacon cheese dog for lunch, yum

    CJ, next time we’re on Skype at the same time, ring me. I want to talk to you about something (nothing evil so don’t worry 🙂 )

  31. JohnBoze: LOL! I seem to have coined a term. 😀 And yes, these Effpiem-wide outages are getting annoying. I keep having to wait until later in the day on Thursday for my new Deadpan.

    My appearance in the Deadpan Bar stories has come!!!!! I’m so excited!!! I look forward to what comes next! I love what you’ve done with this story arc, by the way. I’m a huge fan of stories involving alternate dimensions/universes/realities/etc., which is why I loved Really Big Things so much. 🙂

  32. Adding to an earlier discussion: I followed Enterprise during its third and fourth seasons. I enjoyed them, the fourth more than the third. I think I would have enjoyed them more if I had actually seen TOS, instead of just reading all about it. (I’ve only seen bits and pieces here and there.)

  33. Sure, ditto. My plans are pretty much set for The Sept long weekend anyway. I’ll be at the Tempe Mission Palms. So if anybody else wants to hook up, just let me know (via e-mail is fine).

  34. I don’t want to hear about spiders, Van. I’m the type that, if I see a spider, I run to the other room and scream at my husband to kill it.

    Whereupon he will capture the spider and take it outside. Leading to many (not actual) arguments about how evil that is because the spider will just find its way back inside.

  35. I’ve got more! Though it is still all “upstairs” at the moment…

    Glad to see this gets the Ambassador’s stamp of approval. Not going to comment too much “in process,” (though that is exactly what this style affords) but “Amelia the Ambassador” in the bar is not exactly nice. She may be a statuesque badass, but she is the antagonist, probably not purple-eye evil… There were elements I had some concern over.

  36. JB: I don’t mind being cast as the antagonist. It’s something different for me. I’m not anywhere near as statuesque in real life as I am in your story, but I’m flattered by it.

  37. TEB: I agree. When he starts throwing around “betrayal to the fans” when talking about TV show writing, well… I just feel like telling him to lighten up.

  38. I’m home from shopping. I forgot to buy bread. DOH!
    (not bread dough- Bread, Doh!)

    I didn’t buy any creamsicles either…

    hm. I did buy milk, soda, and lunch meat and this bar of soap that smells pretty good.

    I’m lured by pretty smells.

  39. Hi there.

    I’ve been writing a bunch today. I made a little progress on my ’07 NaNovel today. What a massive, tangled morass of plot threads and motivations it is. It’s like opening an old jewelry box to find all your old necklaces tangled together in a ball. You can’t even see how many you have or what they are, let alone start untangling and separating them. I still had some fun writing, though.

  40. Good night, Amy. I really shouldn’t be up this late, either.

    Alas, I’m geeking out over a new Geotagging tool I’ve discovered.

  41. Alright, I’m sending myself to bed now. Work still beckons in about six hours. I am getting to old to get away with that little sleep anymore.

  42. The guy on Tor talking about BSG is a little hyper, eh? He’s wrong that the narrative voice has to tell the truth. It’s hard to an unreliable narrator that doesn’t destroy the tale, but it can be used to good effect. I just wish I could think of the examples I’ve read. Stupid useless memory.

  43. Yes, the BSG rant was a humorous read. Why is it that atheists seem more likely to assume that “God” was behind Starbuck and the Head characters? From the way it played out, it seems it could have as likely been an advanced alien race such as the Vorlons or the Ascended ones from Stargate.

    I think Moore and company left it open ended enough for each viewer to have their own preference of belief.

    And the ranter really doesn’t understand “Deus ex Machina”.

  44. But, enough of BSG. It is finished.

    Here’s today’s Haiku theme challenges. Pick one or pick them all:

    British Sci-Fi
    Card Games
    Sea creatures

    Run, imagination, run.

  45. I’m an unbeliever… and I love mythology. So I don’t have a problem with the religious aspects, even at the end. What bothered me was the poor pacing and the answers that weren’t delivered. I can ignore the way everyone fell out of character at the very end simply because I don’t see any way to wrap it up from where they were without extending the story for a few more episodes. Some things had to be dropped.

    What bothered me was the way that everytime I started to become emotionally invested in a scene, it changed tone. For instance, the whole opera scene… I was getting seriously excited, this is it, what is it going to mean… oh.

    It meant nothing. Great, now I’m emotionally conflicted, i.e. ANGRY.


    I like subtle stories that don’t bludgeon me. Show me how she loves him, don’t just have her saying it over and over again. On the other hand, give me something to work with. Don’t promise me an explanation and then don’t deliver. I’m referring to Kara and the head*s. There is NO explanation for Kara, just speculation from the viewers. And the “angels”… Head*six literally held Baltar up at one point and there is nothing about her being an angel that in any way explains how that happened or what it meant. I don’t care, fine, she’s an angel. What the hell did that mean?

    Hm. I was going to save that up for a BrainWyrm, but… well, here it is.

  46. Morning Deadpan!

    Last night was very nice, in which ditto and I overcame several hundred miles and our respective spouses to feed the Deadpan rumor mill 🙂

  47. TEB and ditto! Creamsicles and Whhhipped cream. It must be Friday.

    I’m drinking water, Nomad — it has a lot of coffee in it, though. Does that count?

  48. Wolf – Who needs TV? I have netbook, mwuahaha. XP

    Oh no. Another podcast to podsume. And just when I’d worked my back log down to 35 hrs… not including serials.

    Erg, I just remembered. I never did check out that Chattanooga radio ‘cast. Do you still have the linkage?

  49. Just finished putting a new shower curtain in the upstairs bathroom. My hubby was upset when he found out I was changing it. The old one had little fishies on it which, for some reason, he was quite partial to. The new one doesn’t.

  50. Dr. Boze motioned to Joe. “Hit me with another.” Joe passed John a fourth bar napkin.

    Jack set down his beer, two thirds empty. “So how is it working out?”

    “Well, based on The Ambassador’s insistence the the box was ‘everywhere’ I think introducing it into a subset space amplified and distributed its effect.”

    “Which is?”

    “Beg pardon?”

    Joe stopped his somewhat compulsive polishing of the bar. “You’ve never really said what this box is, just that it ‘concentrates fictional vortices.’ What is that in layman’s terms?”

    “Oh, well, see,” Boze mopped at his perpetually sweating brow. “All of the potential plot threads become concentrated near this box, so…” He searched and then grabbed a fifth napkin, and drew a target on it. “Out here, on the periphery, you have typical drama, maybe a coming-of-age novel or something. Slice-of-life stuff. Then closer to the box, things get a little more gritty, real sturm und drang, murder, passionate love, hate, death. Then as the vortices are concentrated closer and closer they get hyper-real, then finally a thin veneer of surreal, which is the region from which the Ambassador sprang forth.”

    “So if that’s been amplified ‘everywhere…'”

    “Things might start to get, keeping with layman’s terms, pretty weird around here.”

  51. We have a big trial happening in my neck of the woods right now. It’s the murder trial of Angie Zapata, and the first test of Hate Crimes Legislation as applied to transgendered people in the state.

    I started following the victim’s sister on Twitter, and have found it extremely painful to follow along with what is happening in the courtroom.

    My question for this morning is this: Why can’t we just treat each other with simple respect and dignity?

  52. EssBee, I wish there were a good answer to that question. There’s certainly far to much hate around. I hope her family finds justice.

  53. Ah Amiga games. I recall beating SDI and It Came From the Desert. Loved playing Laser Chess with my father and there was one where you commanded a starship on a grid. Something with Zaldrons. Loved that game.

  54. EssBee, I recommend a book: The Lucifer Principle. “Evil” is born in all of us as with all life. Great read. Not to say we should just allow “evil” to get the best of us and run rampant, you understand.

  55. Sorry to alarm you Nomad, I was just sighing at the human race.. which brings me to EssBee’s question:

    My question for this morning is this: Why can’t we just treat each other with simple respect and dignity?

    Because I truly dont believe the majority of humans have diginity, respect for one another nor grace. Humans are judgmental, very judgemental. I see fewer and fewer examples of just basic old human decency anymore. Call me a pessimist (although I am actually truly an optimist) I just believe when you are dealing with humans and they have a choice to let their guard down and actually be nice to one another, they will choose to sit back and judge. Most people care only for themselves, and what they want and don’t care who they step on to get what they want.

    But really, I am an optimist. I swear it 🙂

  56. Home from shopping and lunch. Now just waiting for my i-pod to sync so I can listen to some podcasts while I bake cookie.

  57. Remember Jack Nicholson’s speech during the campfire scene in Easy Rider?
    People who live unreflective lives feel absolute terror when they see someone who’s chosen a wildly divergent way of living. It shakes up their perceived stability of their narrow way of being. And sadly, those understanding-resistant types often act aggressively toward the thing that caused them to feel fear. Understanding, acceptance, tolerance, etc. – – would require a fundamental change in their way of living and thinking.


  58. I love that, Jack, and find it to be true. We also have the Bernie Madoffs scheming grandmas and grandpas and holocaust survivors out of their nest eggs.

    Sorry to be a downer! Back to celebrating Friday, how ’bout?

  59. CP: Can’t Help Falling in Love – Lick the Tins

    I want to go dancing, but looks like I’m having a garage sale tomorrow instead.


  60. CP: Aquarius – The 5th Dimension

    I suddenly feel so free and full of love – I wonder why… and where’d I put that ring of daisies… oh… it’s on my head…

    ting a ling a ling..

    la la la..


  61. CP: Run to You – Bryan Adams

    Speaking of which, time to run and pick up the kids. My parents are coming to visit for the weekend, so free babysitters while me and momma go out for a dinner w/o the kids 🙂

  62. There was a terribly pretentacious TV programme on the ‘arts’ in the UK that used that Aquarius track as it’s theme tune.

  63. Well, there’s no Dollhouse tonight. I guess we’ll watch the rain/snow fly and watch a DVD or something.

    I hope you all have a fabulous Friday night! I might check in later to make sure everyone is behaving, so be forewarned!

  64. Morning it is. The wife and I enjoyed our evening. Now, I must make the mental preparations for a couple dozen eight year olds running about for my daughter’s birthday party this afternoon.

  65. Read an article this morning about the FX designers working on the new Enterprise. While, I must confess, I think the engines on the new on are rather excessive and ungainly looking, I’m still looking forward to the new movie.

    Though, from the comments on the article, it seems J.J. Abrams has a shot at beating Lucas in the “raping people’s childhoods” race.

    I’m probably a near equal fan of Trek and Star Wars. I’ll save judgement until I’ve seen the movie, but from what I’ve seen so far, I think it’s going to be hard to beat the job of trashing an iconic franchise that Lucas himself did with Star Wars.

  66. Best FARK headline I’ve seen in a while

    “Empty pubs could get new lease on life by turning them into alcohol free-bars for teenagers with games, music, soft drinks and convenience food. Back in the days, we called those “arcades””

    Ah, to be young again. Battlezone, Gauntlet, Tron. I could probably retire if I still had those quarters 🙂

  67. Morning, Deadpan!

    I was planning to go visit my folks solo this weekend to celebrate Easter, but our snowstorm has other plans. So I’ll be home alone (Sly B is engaging the astronauts of tomorrow today) catching up on TV today. As I’m sad not to be eating the traditional Czech Easter foods, I will set out to make Sedak (Easter cheese) for the first time on my own. Wish me luck!

    CW: Kings. This show sucks. No longer watching Kings.

  68. It’s a really mild cheese made with eggs and milk. Some people put cloves in it, but I don’t like cloves. I’ll throw some parsley in for pretty, I think. My only challenge is that I can buy cheese cloth, but I can’t sew a bag to hang the cheese in. Hmm. I guess i kind of need my mommy.

    The cheese is served with horseradish. It is part of a Russian Orthodox Easter meal, and everything has connotation. The cheese is made with eggs and milk – bounty and Spring. The horseradish is hot, and reminds us that there is hard times that must be conquered during the year. There are lots of other foods served as well. I just want the cheese!

  69. Morning Pan!

    Off to kick butt in an hour. Apparently I’m testing in May so I have to practice lots

    Lots of comments last night.

    Still 3 weeks behind in Heroes so don’t know what you’re taking about EssBee.

  70. It will be my “green stripe”

    Basically this is the transition between a junior and a senior belt. Green belt being considered a senior belt – which would be next.

  71. I finished all my “front side” self defenses (that means, in theory, if someone comes at me from the front, I can handle it) and have now been working on what to do if I’m attacked from behind in various forms.

    As I said before, I seem to be really good at kicking butt.

  72. Good morning!

    Ed, thanks for the links – I just spent like 30 minutes going through them. “Squatter” is such an unattractive word.

    EssBee, good luck with your cheese. Mmmm I love cheese.

  73. So according to the latest quantum physics research, if skynet ran on quantum computers, it could reset it’s memory and transfer to a univerese where John Connor never existed.

    Wouldn’t have made a good movie though..

  74. Currently Drinking: Root beer and milk. “Just like Mason Rocket drinks on TV!”, according to that kid in “Really Big Things.” I decided to try it today, and I like it.

  75. EssBee, I had to google Dharma Initiative. I see it’s a part of the TV show LOST, which, alas, I was never really able to get into.

    CJ – I think next week’s “Cheesy Bits” section of LLAP should be dedicated to Sedak in honor of EssBee. Sedak sounds suitably Star Trek, I think – like some lesser known Vulcan philosophers 🙂

    I agree, cheese is good.

  76. NERDS!!

    A fast food joint called Five Guys Burgers and Fries just opened down the street and I tried them for lunch. While I’m sure I just gained five pounds, that was THE best burger I have had in a long, long time. Damn . . .

  77. My husband showed me something silly last night, which I will have you guys demonstrate. It’s hard to visualize without someone doing it in front of you, but here goes…

  78. Now relax the arms and the hands a little bit, keeping the hands in Vulcan salute mode, just somewhat relaxed. Hold them closer to your chest (not right at your chest, just in a relaxed arm gesture), one hand slightly higher than the other

  79. TEB, Last night was totally worth getting pretty for. No sour cream though, I did have hummus. Jack can tell you about the giant tree leaves that floated onto his pizza though. (They really weren’t THAT big /that’s what she said/)

  80. I love me some hummus. Thankfully Costco now carries the big tubs of Sabra hummus. Hands-down the best premade hummus I’ve had. Have yet to make my own yet, though. Supposed to be very easy to do.

  81. EssBee I know you said you just moved your subscriptions to scifigenre, but here is another good subscription place. Its the one I use:


    usually comics are 30-40% off, but sometimes it is even higher. They boast that you can get comics up to 75% off and its true sometimes. Like usually some of my Batman comics will be that much off.
    They do not offer free bags and boards, you have to pay for them but the bags they use are really nice quality.

  82. Morning Pan.

    Calgary down 0 & 2 in the playoffs. Not totally surprised (I know you picked them to win in 7, Jack but I had them losing in 6)

    Beautiful Sunny day right now. Only plus 4, but should get up to 12.

    Later, will be taking my Boo to the fabric store. She wants me to make her some curtains for her new place.

  83. Heh, that was me w/ the “cock & endless balls”. *blush* I submitted that when my friend Steve died – that poem was kinda how I felt.

    Thanks for the tip on the Mailorder comics! I’m a newbie, so need all the help I can get!

  84. So Hugh you think Energizer bunny is waiting for us to leave 😉

    Hugh sez: that happens to us alot

    methinks people here hate our play by plays, Hughie 🙂

    Hugh sez: eh, who cares. We are enjoying ourselves

    sorry if we annoy the crap out of everyone here 🙂

  85. We won’t stop EssBee.. we just always remember this one time we started a play by play and it was Truckre Overdrive who had wanted to put a comment up for everyon to see and answer and he literally waited until we were done to post his question again, it was kinda finny. We felt bad 🙂

  86. Survived the storms – I hear we broke records for rainfall. The drainage ditches around here were the highest I’ve ever seen them.

    Thankfully, we were smart and had my daughter’s birthday party indoors this year. She and the kids had fun. I’ll have to get some pictures posted later.

  87. anywho.. I consulted the historical documents:

    Greasy Spoon Cigars Comments spoons Comments nipples through unshow XX

    Vanamonde: 5
    EssBee: 4
    wndr wolf: 4
    Jack: 3 (from ep 100)
    ditto: 2
    Cynful: 1
    Justaj0e: 1
    Ed: 1
    Smarty Hotties: 1
    Amy: 1
    Rhett: 1
    Brad P: 1

  88. Hugh sez: I love that band

    they are AMAZING live. We saw them play here recently and we are hoping they end up in the Chicago area for Lollapalooza this year

    Hugh sez: and we are hoping they do some lollapalooza after party thing


  89. Jack sez: (about the 6 nipples) Which are 4 too many or not enough depending on how you look at it

    Hugh sez: it depends on the male to female ratio of those nipples. 4 female, 2 male sounds good to me!

    or 4 male and 2 female

    Hugh sez: or all female


    Hugh sez: NOW who is the pervert?

    *raises hand*

  90. Justajoe- ditto serving cake. Food that causes orgasms

    we miss justa j0e!!!

    ditto- sieze the extra small day

    Smarty hotties: pan unshow 16

    Rhetrro- is this offline?

    Dubshack- 12 minutes of Jack Mangan rummblings

    Justa j0e- 8

  91. Greasy Spoon Cigars Comments spoons Comments nipples nipples through Ep 102

    Vanamonde: 5
    EssBee: 4
    wndr wolf: 4
    Justaj0e: 3
    Jack: 3 (from ep 100)
    ditto: 3
    Smarty Hotties: 2
    Rhett: 2
    Cynful: 1
    Ed: 1
    Amy: 1
    Brad P: 1
    Dubshack: 1

  92. Hugh sez: speaking of food that causes orgasms. My baby made Chicken Cacciatore yesterday. Holy fuck, babe. I know I orgasmed while eating that

    it was damn good wasn’t it?

    Hugh sez: I can’t wait to try it today after its sat in the fridge and gotten even better

    mmm mmmm!!!

  93. More orgasmic food: Sly B made burgers the other night (grass fed, free range, butchered by my dad) that had green chile (grown in our back yard) mixed in and a disc of goat cheese in the center. OMG.

  94. Hey, TSH. Not waiting for you to leave. Just doing other things this morning so being very intermittent on my posts 🙂

  95. Someone is rambling about work being a pain and that if it frustrates you you can consider changing careers

    Hugh sez:I used to do that climbing the corporate ladder thing. I’m over that now 🙂

    LOL.. I love the sound effects you’ve added to this

    Well see baby, I think thats the difference between you and many others. You didn’t go to school for what you do. You started that job because it was just a job that paid money at the time and then you found you really loved it and moved up the ladder

    Hugh sez: plus, I am happy. I’ve made my money. We live a good life. Now at almost 40, I’ve changed my focus. I want art and my wife to be my focus in life. I like where i stand at work and I don’t need to move up anymore. They like me, they like the work I do. Life changes that way.

    Right like we were focused on us for a long long time, then when we got straightened out we both kinda focused on work for a while, now we are back around and focusing on us again.

    Hugh sez: exactly.

  96. its cool bunny 🙂 we were just being stupid.. like i said there was that 1 time when Trucker Overdrive was waiting for us to finish and we felt bad 🙂

    Essbee is clean!

    Hugh sez: time to get her dirty again!

    LOL.. 🙂

  97. He hasn’t given up
    he is ok with what he gets paid
    its good enough
    enjoys his evenings
    enjoys nights at home with his wife


    Hugh sez; good for him. But I don’t regret my choices either. I enjoy the life my working hard for a few years is allowing us to have now.

    Well I guess the key to what he was saying is you stopped climbing the ladder to take the time to enjoy what you did, enjoy the fruit of your labor. Some people never do that

  98. We forgive you for being late with ep 2 of Questors, Amy 🙂

    Hugh sez: sez the people who are what? 5 months behind on Deadpan?

    LOL.. true 🙂

    Wait, we can figure this out.. ok this episode had me calling from Lolla, I assume he used those vm’s not too long after i sent them.. that was August of last year

    Holy moly!! Thats 9 months ago!!!

    Hugh sez: we suck

    9 months behind????? thats inconceivable!!

    Hugh sez: inconceivable!!

    [inigo montoya] I do not think that word means what you think it means [/inigo montoya]

  99. It is August for sure, TSH. Steve passed away on August 6th, and I recorded the “cock & balls” stolen stanzas then.

    Back to comics – I just read the latest Buffy Season 8 (issue 24?) and Faith’s boobs are GIANT. She would have a helluva time kicking ass with those knockers.

  100. Buffy Summers would kick ass!

    Jack we 2nd (and 3rd) the Buffy Summers vote!

    Hugh sez: put her up against that lame vampire from Twilight

    oh man.. I hope none of you loved that movie. Hugh and I were thoroughly disgusted by that movie. Didnt even finish watching it

    Hugh sez: we pay per viewed it and I wanted my 3.99 or what it was back

  101. How do those comic book babes kick ass the way they are drawn

    Have you seen Catwomans boobs??? and then her tiny waist- how the hell does she stand upright?

    Hugh sez: plus she is in a painted on outfit so her boobs have no support, they are just flapping around

    LOL “flapping around”

    Hugh sez: LOL it was more of a comment on how her outfit is so tight it HAS to be painted on. Boobs that big need some support.

    would you like to support them Hughie?

    Hugh sez: Yes, yes i would

  102. I like the idea of doing the Watchmen graphic novel too
    what a great idea!!

    you should do it!

    Hugh sez: I think he does

    he does!?!?!?? 😉

    he is truly outrobabbling

    Jacks most painful music

    Jack sez: “I like to do deep and sultry”

    I bet you do Jackamo 😉

    hugh sez: *swooon*


  103. Oh thank you Amy.. *blush*

    we have fun doing them, and that is what is most important to us. After everything we’ve been through the past few years, we treasure the moments of peace, quiet, and fun.

    Hugh sez: we treasure our moments together

    we do 🙂

    sorry to get all sappy on you guys 🙂

  104. Mmmm reading is the best.

    Today I’m doing laundry, making grocery lists, and cleaning house.

    Gotta find out who has Matzoh on sale. My Gram is requesting it for breakfast one day this week. And… while it is my favorite breakfast food, I don’t keep it on hand because nobody else here will eat it.

  105. CP: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python

    All the MP songs are from an album called ‘MONTY PYTHON SINGS’ released in 1989.

  106. Today I broke through a block I’d had for a long time on one of my novels. I’m about to get into a scene I’ve been anticipating for a long time. It’s not the climax, but it’s an important turning point that sets things up for how the climax will play out. I’ve been writing (not really nonstop, but close) since 5:15 – 5:30 ish, and it’s now almost 7:30 and I CAN’T STOP WRITING!!! Not even to go downstairs and get dinner! This feels fantastic and exhilarating.

  107. Thank you!

    Dinner has been eaten. Now relaxing with music, TVTropes, and other websites. Final word count for the night: 71,317. Novel’s still not done, but I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished today. 🙂

  108. Well, gang, I don’t know if I’ll be much help breaking records this week. Mrs. from Texas is out of town this week at her company’s home office. She normally works here at the house, but has to travel to the main office a few times a year. So, this week, it’s just me and the kids and the days are pretty full of various sports/church/ballet and homework.

    By the time I’ve gotten finished with the kids each day, I’m usually ready to crash myself. Which is what I’m going to do now.

    G’nite, Deadpan.

  109. and when we find we have no words, Mr. Jonathan Coulton is there to provide them.



    Some things we always remember, some things we forget
    No way to make it up now no room for regret
    That’s no good for anyone
    And so I come undone
    Now I am less than what I was
    Whatever’s left is yours now

    Fold my heart up small
    Or break it into pieces
    Find somewhere and keep it there
    Take it when you go

  110. ps music always has a funny way of saying the things we can’t say i’ve noticed. I’ve also noticed songs will evolve in my life. They start out meaning 1 thing to me, then something happens in my life and suddenly the song has a completely different meaning, or just a whole new significance.
    Plus my iTunes has that funny way of shuffling up those songs at that moment that say the things I cannot say. I will be really sad about something, listening to tunes unable to grasp my own sadness and a song will come on that says it all for me. I love that.

    that my dear pannitos is the main reasons I love music so much

    sleep mode has been delayed. Smarty hotties® will commence immediate shutdown procedures in 10…

  111. Then what does it mean when my iTunes shuffles up “Several Species of Small Furry Animals Grooving in a Cave with a Pict” ?

    In all, utmost seriousness – your friends are here for you and care for you.

  112. That maybe it wolf, some like the smell of wild wolf.

    So I feel I’ve become emotionally flat to horror stories. So I could appreciate what emotions the writer was trying to instill with the poem without actually feeling anything at all.

  113. The Smarty Hotties: 4/20 = weed. Dumb IMO, but lots of dumb things are popular. It’s also my sister’s birthday, but that’s not nationally recognized.

  114. 4/20 is a huge event on the CU campus in Boulder every year. Since I have an insider, I am always amused at the university’s attempts to quell the event. This year, they are expecting over 10,000 stoners to converge at 4:20 this afternoon outside of the library and toke up.

    Not too surprisingly, it is always a peaceful event.

  115. Good morning to all of you. This is so my favorite place on the web now.

    Unfortunately, I may be quiet today. I’m so sick that my dear husband has had to call off work today to help me. I have a migraine that surely surface from the depths of hell. It’s a cluster migraine which means that I’ll have moments of working vision and the pain will regress for a short time – like now. So, I took the free moment to drop in a hello.

    Now I have to get as much work done as possible before the next hit of incapacitation. Stupid spreadsheets are not going to help my cause.

    Have a great day! Hopefully I’ll be able to come back and read at least a bit later!

  116. Today is 10 years since Columbine, wow. I remember where I was on that day. I was in Fort Collins, doing an exit exam and picking up the bound volume of my master’s thesis at CSU. I had just started dating Sly B, and it was our first mini-road trip together.

  117. What’s most socially disturbing about Columbine is the number of gun-toting psycho incidents that have followed. Is this a cultural inevitability for this stage of our collective emotional development – – or is there some particular facet of contemporary culture that has helped enable this kind of thing?

  118. My $0.02 on the matter, Jack, is that as a society, we have allowed kids to raise themselves. Imagine that the Columbine shooters gathered up an arsenal in their parents’ homes completely undetected.

    Also, I think that bullying has become a constant torment and torture for kids who don’t “fit in.” Think of the 11 year old boy who hung himself last week in Springfield, MA rather than face school another day.

    One of the reasons I refer to my once-beloved employer as “Evil, Inc.” is because we used to deploy to communities where something awful like Columbine or Springfield happened because we knew how to help communities design and implement bully-proofing plans.

  119. Essbee – RE: 4/20
    Get a couple of boxes of Lucky Charms and a few boxs of small Ziplock bags.
    Fill the bags. Wander past the library at 4:25 selling the bags of sugared joy for a buck a piece.

    Ka ching!

  120. At 4:20 on 4/20 I will be responsible for 5 little minions running around my house.

    I’ll probably wish I was a partaker – but, alas – I have never been.

  121. As for the kids who cause destruction, I tend to lean toward the blame-the-parents end of the spectrum.

    Parents, IMO, of a very selfish generation seemed to either ignore or over-medicate their rambunctious children instead of spending time with them and paying attention to them. This doesn’t mean that it’s always the case, but I firmly believe that many of the negative actions taken by teens over the past decade could have been prevented with a bit of parental responsibility. I think these selfish parents decide somewhere along the line that the kids are merely a burden to them and basically toss them aside to fend for themselves.

    Bad parenting tends to really piss me off.

  122. Totally, agree about the parenting issue, Cj. I think that we were the first generation of latch-key kids, and our kids (thinking of kids who are near 20 now) are the first generation of self-raised kids.

  123. I think/hope it’s changing now. I even wonder how much the mommy/daddy blogging phenomenon has affected parenting now. I see more parenting blogs and my “MightyMommy” account on Twitter is being followed by anywhere from 3 to 10 new parent bloggers/podcast listeners daily.

    If it’s a trend in parents wanting to be better parents then hopefully, the generation of children who are small now, will have a better chance. My kids are 3 and 5 and I’m going to be 40 in a little over a month from now and I’ve noticed in the parenting groups of which I’m a member, most of the moms are close to the same age as me – so I think that parents starting later in life is also a trend and a good one at that! As always, I’m hopeful.

  124. I’ve been over an hour without headache issue. I think I may be out of the dark and after almost 3 days of this pain – I’m about to shout hallelujah.

  125. CP: Got to Get You Trapped Under Ice – Beatallica

    Selfish people will always set their own petty wants and fleeting impulses as a higher priority than the well-being of their children.

  126. I am not here to be my children’s best friend. I’m here to guide them, support them, and set boundaries for them. I’m eligible for vacation benefits after about 20 years on the job.

  127. Personally I think blaming the parents is a kopout. It’s an easy excuse to try to explain why kid x did these horrible deeds.

    I don’t care how you were brought up, you do a horrible act and the blame is on you and nobody else.

  128. Cj said: “This is so my favorite place on the web now.”

    Awww!! That warms my heart. It’s mine, too. 🙂

    EssBee said: “My $0.02 on the matter, Jack, is that as a society, we have allowed kids to raise themselves.”

    What both you and Cj said about this was right on the money.

    Cj: I didn’t know that parents starting later in life was a trend now. That is interesting, and I agree that it’s likely to be a good thing in terms of parental responsibility. I was born in 1986 (Mom was 33), and my sister was born in 1991 (Mom was 38). I think that was slightly unusual when we were growing up. I think the upside was that she had an established career, but the downside was that she had less physical stamina than parents who started younger, so she didn’t like doing things like going camping in tents (which I liked doing, and still do).

  129. Amy,

    I too enjoy camping! I love fishing and all of that stuff too… it’s my 33-year-old husband that doesn’t like it! grrr…. I shall make him be outdoorsy! I shall!


  130. Well, Deadpan, that’s it for me. I think I took some of your headache, Cj — not all of it, but some of it. Now I must stop looking at this computer for awhile.

    Nighty night, you beautiful denizens of the ‘pan.

  131. You know, now that I hold the new Enterprise in my hands – I have to say the new warp engines are indeed on the awkwardly large size.

    I hope the designers weren’t trying to compensate for something.

  132. We are old skool pot smokers and didn’t know about this 4/20 thing 🙂

    I’m not a parent so I can’t really comment reliably on the whole who is responsible thing.. but based on my experience- I do tend to agree that its the parents fault when they are young and impressionable, then there comes a point when a child is making their own decisions and at that point it becomes iffy for me. Real generalization here but when kids are living under their parents roof, parents should be more aware of whats going on. Once a kid is away making their own choices, it becomes the childs choice and the parents less.

    Essbee- I will tell Hugh of your basketball shout out 🙂 He just watched the Bulls play and now is watching the blackhawks.. I am hiding from it all. LOL. I did watch the end of the bulls game, it was a really good game.

  133. I can say based on my own life, my parents did have a huge impression on me. I am also from a hispanic family with slightly different issues then American families. When I look back at my life and my successes and failures I really do believe up until.. lets say… 14/15, maybe even 13/14 I could point the finger at my parents, after that I made my own choices.

    I can say that the worst my parents did was they did little to prepare me for the world. I learned most things about life on my own, through trial and error and meeting other people and actually going out and exploring life, seeing it for myself. Taking chances. So the choices I made when I did that are all on me.. but I guess if you wanted to look at my parents you could say they could of prepared me better and not just let me out with the wolves so unprepared. They were entirely way too overprotective of me, to the point that they stunted me in a way.

  134. Yes. TSH and to Van – Ultimately, once the kiddos are thinking for themselves, there are cases, where regardless of upbringing – people can simply be idiots or, deranged and unbalanced people.

    I think all points and perspectives are valid, but I still believe that if the parents had taken the time to get involved and paid attention to their children, at least some of these kids could have been helped or saved.

  135. You know, I’m mildly disturbed by the fact that I’ve only posted those images in the last few minutes and 40 people have already found them.

  136. Jack, only when they are closely supervised and have put down a deposit 🙂

    Nah, toys are meant to be played with. I’m not a true “collector” in the museum sense.

  137. Morning Pan

    Beautiful 20 C yesterday. The weatherman says snow for tomorrow.

    I don’t know if I can take anymore of this crazy weather

  138. A friend of mine starts her first day of work today. Normally, not an issue but in today’s economy she got a job in record time. She’s from the US and only received her work permit at the end of March. She put out her resume, did an interview and got a job within a couple of weeks. You don’t see that very much anymore.

  139. You won’t disillusion me Van, I know the evils of Rumplestiltskin. The poor man who tore himself in half…

    I still say the king was the bad guy in that story.

  140. Good morning, beautiful people. Consider yourself hugged. I’m hoping to be away from the computer for most of today, at least until I have to clock into work.

    mmmm artichokes – now I want to make one for dinner. Yum.

  141. TSH