315 thoughts on “Unshow 94: It Takes Two”

  15. Today’s movie is, Seconds Apart

    The DVR write up: Twin brothers use their extraordinary mental powers to harm others

    Short and to the point

  56. Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission!
    (dancing hot dog and bun)
    Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission!
    (dancing hot dog and bun)
    Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission!
    (dancing hot dog and bun)
    Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission! Intermission!

  74. I had no idea how much some people hate the Mythbusters.

    Granted, I’m not as much a fan of their current more scripted shows – I thought the earlier, more freeform stuff they did in the beginning worked better.

    But, it seems a fair number of people think they do more harm than good in encouraging interest in science.

    There’s no vitriol like nerd vitriol.

  78. Crap joke for the day:

    A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.”I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” the caller said.
    “Are you light-headed?” my colleague asked.”No,” the caller answered, “I’m a brunette.”

  96. I was reading this description of the 1930 Henderson KJ Streamline Motorcycle
    “Stunningly beautiful but impractical and hard to ride …”

    and had a sudden flashback to a girl I knew when I was in my mid 20’s.

  103. My turn for a bad joke

    Two Irish nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside. “Oi, get your tits out, you penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
    The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, “I don’t think they know who we are – show them your cross”.
    So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts, “Fuck off you little wankers, before I come over there and rip your balls off”!
    Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks?
    “Was that cross enough?”

  110. Your crap joke for the day:

    I picked up my wife and her 3 mates after they had come from weight watchers, I muttered ‘fat cows’, she said ‘what was that?’, I said ‘you herd’….

  120. I’ve been absent, guys, sorry! We’re having a big party this weekend to celebrate our civil union – wish you all could come! I just pulled enough pork shoulder for 50, and massaged 4 whole briskets, which are going in the smoker in 2 hours.

    mwah!

  127. While vegging in front of the TV, I stumbled upon a James Bond marathon (which seems to happen a lot)

    I came in about 2/3 of the way through Octopussy (there’s just no dignified way to say that). It’s built on the premise of smuggling a nuclear bomb from Soviet East Germany to American West Germany.

    I actually had to think about it for at bit as I’m pretty sure Germany has been a single nation now for more of my life than it was East and West. The kiddos will never know when Germany wasn’t a unified economic engine of Europe.

  134. The Story of My Life – By Usedhair

    I have a friend that has had his boat on my yard for 4 years claiming that if it ever sells he will give me half the money. After much hemming and hawing and my encouraging him quite a bit to be a little more negotiable on the price, the boat finally sold yesterday. There were several times during the process where the sale looked like it was going to fall through, but I finally got to see an envelope full of cash pass into my friend’s hands (knowing that half was mine). As I sat, watching the envelope pass from one person to another, my wife taps me on the shoulder and says “the person that you lent our car to just called and said she had an accident. The bumper of the car is lying on the ground and it doesn’t look like it’s driveable”. The saddest thing about the whole situation is that it didn’t surprise me in the least. I’ve seen it all before.

    Clarification for the story: The insurance covered the tow to my regular garage (which happened to be 23 miles from the accident with a 25 mile tow limit) and the driver swears (I’ll believe it when I see it) that she is going to pay for everything that the insurance doesn’t pay for (like the $500 deductible). So technically, I’m not actually out any of the money from the boat sale (yet). It’s more just a reason for me to bitch than anything truly bad that has happened. I know a lot of people in my life right now that have real problems that make this seem like nothing indeed. My only fear is that the insurance company will total the car and I will have to get a new one. That will put me back into car payment mode (because I’m not likely to find a good used car for what they will give me for the old POS), which will really suck.

  136. Your crap (insert whatever region you like on retelling) joke for the day:

    Three friends married women from different parts of the world…

    The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away…

    The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

    The third man married a girl from WALES . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates…

  139. This week I’ve been mostly playing Spelunky.

    I thought the mines were hard, but the jungle is far, far worse, there are times I’ve come close to throwing my Vita across the room.

  141. Your bonus crap joke:

    Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” The boy replied, “Eight.” The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one.” ¯

  148. So, any of you more literate folks checked this out:

    http://i.imgur.com/WQohUJu.jpg

    Just found out about it today – apparently a comic series based on Lucas first draft of “The Star Wars” that is quite a bit different from the one that Lucas later used to rape our child hoods.

    • More power to ’em, but it’s hard for me to get excited about the production of his early drafts as anything but a novelty. Early drafts generally get changed and updated for a reason – and for the better.

    • I’ve read a few of the early drafts (including this one) and I did pick up the first issue of “The Star Wars”. I think both were pretty well done. That particular draft is quite different than what the movie turned out to be. It really was an entirely different story.

  153. Your crap joke for the day:

    A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.”What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl.The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.”
    “They’re just like people, aren’t they Grandma?” said the little one”How do you mean?” asked the Grandma.”Offer someone a helping hand,” said the little girl, “and they screw you every time!”

  156. Still waiting to hear from the insurance company, but just looked up the blue book value (which you never expect to get) of my 10 year old car with 130,000 miles on it and it’s only $750 in fair condition. My official prediction is that they will total it, say it was worth $500 which is our deductible and walk away paying us nothing. Have to see if I’m right or not.

  158. Does anyone know a method for copying text (as text and not as a screen capture or image file) from a CSS protected web page with Firefox (or safari)?

    I have tried the “javascript:void” command in the address bar and it does nothing. Turning off Java does nothing. Turning off CSS removes the text from the page completely. “View source” just shows you the CSS file name and not the text. “No style” does nothing to let me copy this.

    #witsend

          • Try Nuke Anything Enhanced. Install the add-on. Highlight the text you want, right click, and select Remove Everything Else. Then you might be able to save what you want as a text file.

          • Do you need the actual text, or would a screen capture (making it an image) be sufficient?

            Though, even if you did that, you could probably then run an OCR on the image and recover the text.

          • Might try the OCR approach. The Highlight some and nuke the rest approach is proving a little unwieldy.

            I am trying to pick a few dozen runners (as well as their times and the organization they represent) out of the final results from a race, for a news letter. It’s really annoying that they’ve decided these publicly announced results should be listed on a copy protected web page. I mean, good grief, if I spent the money to hold a large sporting event, I’d want my results reported as far and wide as possible. It’s like FREE advertising. *face in palm*

      • Yeh, “Save as” produced a page that was one lump of unformatted characters. The data could be picked out and then had the odd characters edited from it and then I could reformat it but that was very time consuming.

        I discovered that the ditto’s Duke Nuke’m add-on had it’s own “view source” feature in it that once you had selected the page, would display it a separate window,formatted AND copyable. FTW!

        • Yeah, I love that add-on. I it has been very helpful for “fixing” pages for printing, and copying for my own purposes. I wasn’t sure if it would work for your scenario, but I thought it worth a try.

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