548 thoughts on “SLAM Awards 2026”

  12. Your good deed for today:

    Support Life And Music is going to raise music mental health awareness at SXSW (South By Southwest) in 2027. Please click the link and vote for our “Facing the Musician Mental Health Crisis” panel. It only takes a minute, and it will help musicians of all ages and all levels – – and your vote will help S.L.A.M.!

    Don’t wait – – the voting window is short!

    THANK YOU.

    https://participate.sxsw.com/flow/sxsw/sxsw27/community-voting-sxsw/page/community-voting/session/1784618929927001KEhb

  20. Crap joke for the day:

    A man walks into a bar, orders a double bourbon, neat, and downs it in a single gulp.
    “”How big is a penguin?”” he asks.
    The bartender says, “”Around 18 inches.””
    He orders another double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down.
    “”What’s the biggest a penguin can ever be?””
    The bartender frowns. “”3 feet, maybe an inch or two more.””
    The man orders a third double bourbon, neat, and downs it even quicker. He sighs.
    “”I may have run over a nun.””

  26. Extracted from a FB AI rant:

    “ The trouble starts when “more capable” quietly becomes “better.” Human beings have never had a particularly impressive track record of limiting themselves to noble pursuits.

    A brilliant AI tutor can help a child understand algebra. It can also do the algebra for him. A legal assistant can help someone understand a contract. It can also help your most irritating neighbor produce twelve pages of extremely convincing nonsense about your fence. A writing assistant can help someone communicate better at work. It can also help Janet from Accounting send an email that sounds polite while making it unmistakably clear that she would like you to die.

    That is not a criticism of AI. That is what happens when you hand humans tools. Silicon Valley has always struggled with this, because the imaginary user inside a product launch is an unusually wholesome person. She is curious, productive and desperate to improve herself. Give her infinite intelligence and she will learn Mandarin, study physics, finally understand her retirement account and perhaps take up the cello. The real user is going to ask whether her ex’s new girlfriend is prettier than she is, and frankly, I understand her.

    We already carry nearly the entire sum of human knowledge in our pockets. We can use it to read Plato, learn another language or study the Roman Empire. We also use it to Google “why does my dog stare at me when I pee.” The phone expanded what we were capable of. Then humanity got involved.”

  28. CP: Primeval — John Carpenter

    Yes, that John Carpenter. He’s collaborating with his son and Daniel Davies to make a soundtrack to his new graphic novel, “Cathedral”

  29. When did Amazon start lending books like a library? I went to look at the price of an ebook and it said I could “borrow” the ebook free with my Prime membership. Obviously I went for it. Free is better than any price I’d pay.

    • You can’t switch off government alerts here. If there’s a tornado coming, they kind of want you to know, no matter where you are.

  33. Another crap joke:

    Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
    Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
    Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had….Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room..
    A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
    An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
    Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’
    Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck.
    Where do you want me to unload ’em??’

    • Surely you knew that going in? Cos it’s one of the things everybody mentions about the bloody movie.

      I enjoyed it and did not need to pee till after the film had finished.

      • I knew it was about 3 hours, yeah. But this one especially felt like 3 hours.

        All that hate seems unwarranted. . . I don’t regret seeing it. There were lots of good parts. I like the way it handled Odysseus, the horse, and a bunch of the other classic bits.

        My only complaint is that it felt long. I doubt if I’ll ever watch it again.

      • I did have to pee once during the film. But I have bladder issues, so there are few movies I can sit through without needing to pee, even if they aren’t 3 hours long

  39. Back in America from our big Eclipse trip. After getting clouded out a couple of years ago, Mrs. from Texas was determined for us to find a way to catch one. Took a cruise out of Southampton that included the eclipse and four stops in Spain and one in France.
    Overall a most excellent trip – though we really need to get those transporters invented. International economy flying is definitely getting harder. Though, honestly, walking through the business class section to get to the cheap seats, they didn’t look lime something worth paying 4x for.
    This was our first family trip since my youngest turned 21 and I don’t think I was prepared for how that would change the character of the trip with all four of us being unrestricted adults now. It was nice and I know we aren’t going to get many more chances like this.

    • That sounds like a great trip Ed! We pondered doing the same, but with with Alaska this year. Was it crowded in Spain with all the eclipse enjoyers?

  42. This weekend I found out the husband, myself, and a few friends are all terrible people.
    We are playing a western rpg. We had to find an outlaw so we ask a character (the game master a.k.a the husband) if there were any distinguishing features for the person we were looking for. The husband, without thinking said he had a lisp.
    Then we found out his partner’s name was Silas. We were crying laughing by the end of it.
    I think we’re all going to hell.

  43. I hope that we’re not about to go over yet another waterfall of horror around here.

    Sorry to be vague. Please keep fingers and toes crossed.

  56. JW: The Wild Bunch

    Although I’ve seen bits of it over the years this was the first time I watched it all the way through, I do love bleak endings.

  57. In another ‘feeling old’ moment, this week I will be seeing the 30th anniversary rerelease of Trainspotting at the cinema

    30 YEARS!!!!! WTF!

  62. Between fatigue, obligations, and working on stuff for SLAM, the SLAM Awards, and SLAM season 2, I’ve been pretty boring lately.

    I never imagined when I left corporate hell that I’d become even busier, but in hindsight… of course that’s the case.

  69. OK, as crazy as this seems to be to type, I’ve just gotten back from China!

    We took a two week trip with the kids and their significant other others. “Long ass flight” aside… It was a really good time. There is so so much I could say about the experience. Short synopsis of the itinerary – we all flew from our respective homes to Vancouver and from there flew to Beijing for a few days. From there we went Bullet train to Xian (she-Anne) then flew to Guilin (guy-Lynn) then boat down a river to Yang Shu than flew Shanghai.
    Short bits:
    China is BIG.
    -“The Great Wall“ seems misnamed. “ Overly Extensive wall“ or maybe “amazingly ambitious wall“ might be more accurate. Stunning to be sure but “Great“ just seems to denote something else.
    – The PEOPLE were great. Wonderfully gracious and seem to love Americans. Go figure.
    – We had arranged for guides at each location, which was pretty important for language and cultural reasons. Although surprisingly enough, my kids and their others had learned (before hand) enough Chinese to be able to order food or find bathrooms. My kids are so much smarter than me!
    – Beijing and Shanghai are stunningly large. More than 23 million people in each city. Beijing is physically 60 km in size.
    – The countryside is phenomenal. Gorgeous and exotic.
    – Real Chinese food… OMG! So tasty.
    – Getting over there is exorbitantly expensive. Existing there is amazingly cheap for Americans. We could order “family style”, six delicious dishes plus drinks (including beer) and walk away from dinner having spent $45.
    – Driving is insane! People pass whenever they want. Scooters zipping in and out cutting across roads and up onto the sidewalks. Cars/trucks will do three point U-turns in the middle of any road, in car choked traffic, when ever they want. The “car horn” may be there national anthem.
    And driving itself is a new experience for them. Most families have only owned cars for about 15 years. yet… I never saw so much as a single “fender bender”. Easily half of the vehicles are electric. Even in the “country“.
    I’ll do a separate post on cultural observations and it may or may not surprise you that things aren’t what we’ve been told they are over there.
    If you get an opportunity to go there, do so. Especially before trump ruins that for Americans as well.

  73. There was/is a band called Hue and Cry. They had a few hits in the 80s.

    Saw them perform in the early 2000s, they had changed direction with their music and it’s the only concert I’ve been too where a load of people just walked out.

  74. My life is boring so I haven’t posted much but I thought I should get this one in as the next post I make will cost (most of) you 50% more

  75. Memory is a strange thing I always remember what a pain in the ass defrosting the small chest freezer is when I start defrosting the freezer.

  84. It’s been a whirlwind of a day. The next few days promise to get even more crazy.

    Lots of exciting stuff and some less good stuff on the agenda.

  89. Started listening to a podcast that is the third season of Death of an Artist. It covers the suicide of a a couple, Petra and Michael Mathers (children author and photographer). Although in their late 70s they were both healthy, sent letters to family and friends then killed themselves.

  91. JW: The Dog Stars

    Left me rather unimpressed even though it’s pretty faithful to the book it’s based. Weirdly the protagonist’s plot arc reminded me of Logan’s Run of all things

  93. We have to take the little one for a crappy appt today. It’s a minor thing, but not as minor as I’d like.

    As fate would have it, today is also the big day for SLAM. I’m releasing the awards show video tonight. We got the final video this morning!

    • -Host:

      Cathy Rankin

      -2026 SLAM Award Recipients:

      Michael Alago (Legendary record label executive and artist. Subject of the acclaimed documentary: “Who the F**k is That Guy?”, author of “I Am Michael Alago.”)
      John Bambino (VP Artist Management for In De Goot Entertainment)
      Dani Cutler (Scene Mom Says, ex-KWSS Radio DJ)
      Rob Halford (Hall of Fame singer for Judas Priest, author of “Confess” and “Biblical”)
      Amy Sciarretto (Trendsetting music publicist, founder of Atom Splitter PR)
      Darryl “DMC” McDaniels (Rap/Hip-Hop pioneer, author of “Ten Ways to Not Commit Suicide”)
      Pamela Parks (Headity Artist Management)
      Jason McMaster (Iconic singer from Dangerous Toys, co-host of Talk Louder podcast)
      Dr. George Musgrave (aka Context, a Rapper who’s worked with Rihanna, Ed Sheeran, others. He co-wrote a groundbreaking clinical paper on musician mental health)
      Dr. Dorian Lamis (Psychologist, author, and professor who co-wrote the clinical paper, “Musicians, the music industry, and suicide: epidemiology, risk factors, and suggested prevention approaches,” with George Musgrave.)
      Marc Lopes (Singer with Let Us Prey, ex-Metal Church)

      -Music videos and performances from:

      Chuck Tomasi – Technorama
      Garrett James and the Wanderers – Alice Cooper’s Solid Rock Teen Center
      Jack Mangan – S.L.A.M.
      Cathy Rankin

      -Guest presentations from:

      Jose Mangin – SiriusXM
      Todd La Torre – Queensryche
      Mark Pruett – The Whiskey Network
      Michael Stackpole – Author
      David Ellefson – Kings of Thrash, ex-Megadeth
      Burton C. Bell – Solo artist, ex-Fear Factory
      Dobber Beverly – Oceans of Slumber
      Ben Wells – Black Stone Cherry
      Monte Conner* – Nuclear Blast Records
      Evo Terra – Simpler Media
      Dr. Sheila Dee – Simpler Media
      “Metal Dave” Glessner – Talk Louder
      Jonathan “JJ” Jacobs – Rawkstars
      Ari Jacobson – Backline
      Hilary Gleason – Backline
      Debbie Watson – Nuci’s Place
      Rob Dukes – Exodus

  99. My Sony TV has started acting up, won’t stay switched off, ignores the remote, and just acting weird.

    If I didn’t know better it feels like it’s been hacked.

    Tried the usual, soft then hard reset and switching off a load of things in setting but same strange behaviour.

    • Most Sony tvs use ir remotes. I don’t know about yours.

      Try turning your tv off and putting the remotes in a drawer. See if the tv is still behaving badly. It could be one of your remotes is malfunctioning and causing this behavior. It could also be due to a neighbor messing with your tv via a universal remote.

  100. Crap joke for the day:

    A 65-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken into hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.

    Seeing God, she asked, Is my time up?

    God said, No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth.

    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

    Right in front of God, she demanded, God, you said I had another 33 years to live. Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?

    God replied, I didn’t recognize you.

  102. Hopefully I will never find out how being skinned alive feels, but wearing new shoes that have skinned the back of my foot gives me a hint.

  103. Crap joke for the evening:

    SEX AFTER DEATH
    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
    After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
    “Marion…Marion…”
    “Is that you, Bob?”
    “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
    “That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
    “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
    Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again.
    Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”
    “Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?”
    “No…I’m a rabbit in Arizona!”

  108. There is a nice documentary on Netflix called the Last Salute, it’s about the last squadron of the Indian airforce equipped with MiG 21s which are being retired. It appears it was a well like plane among the pilots.

  110. Crap joke for the day:

    At the end of the tax year, the tax office sent a particularly thorough inspector to audit the books of a large regional hospital.

    While reviewing the procurement ledgers, the auditor turned to the hospital’s CFO with a smug grin. “I notice you order enormous quantities of bandages. What happens to the scraps at the end of the roll when there’s too little left to wrap a wound?”

    “Good question,” the CFO replied smoothly. “We save all the scrap ends and mail them back to the manufacturer. Every few months, they recycle them and send us a free roll in return.”

    “Oh,” the inspector said, visibly disappointed at receiving such a practical answer. Determined to find a loophole, he pressed on: “And what about all these plaster purchases for orthopedic casts? What do you do with the leftover powder and wet mix after setting a bone?”

    “Standard procedure,” the CFO nodded. “We collect all excess residue and return it to the supplier. Once a year, they send us a complimentary crate of fresh plaster.”

    Growing frustrated at his inability to rattle the CFO, the auditor smirked and asked:

    “Alright, wise guy… what do you do with all the discarded tissue left over from circumcision surgeries?”

    The CFO smiled calmly and replied:

    “We don’t waste anything. We collect all those little foreskins in a jar, ship them straight to the tax office, and about once a year, they send us a complete prick.”

  111. I got to meet with former Senator Doug Jones last night at a social event. He is currently running for governor of Alabama. What a swell, down to earth, intelligent, NICE GUY.
    All of which would seem to be disqualifying in today’s political world.
    He just comes across as a regular guy.

  118. 30 years ago:

    *Hotmail launched as one of the earliest widely used web-based email services.
    *The Internet Archive was founded.
    *“Macarena” became an international phenomenon and spent 14 weeks at No. 1 in the United States.
    *The “Magnificent Seven” became the first U.S. women’s gymnastics team to win Olympic team gold.
    *The musical Rent opened on Broadway and became a cultural phenomenon.
    *Blue’s Clues, Everybody Loves Raymond, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Judge Judy and The Daily Show premiered.
    *Major movie releases: Fargo, Independence Day, Mission: Impossible, Scream, Star Trek: First Contact, Trainspotting, The English Patient, From Dusk Til Dawn.

  131. So it’s been 35 years since Terminator 2 was released and this weekend it’s been rereleased at the cinemas.

    So I’m off for my first cinema rewatch and in 3D to boot!

  132. I think “new media” is dead.

    Years ago, I had Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Deadpan and we got 20,000 downloads in the first few weeks.

    I just released the SLAM Awards with pretty great star power. And we have less than 300 views. Roddy Bottum is part of Faith No More, who have 1.5 million followers on Facebook. As of now: 15 views.

    I’ve put a hell of a lot of work into these things, but they can’t make a real impact if no one sees them. I don’t know the solution or the reason for this. I suspect that big money has crept in, and in this day and age, you’re almost never going to get seen without investing a boatload of money from the get-go.

    I’m just complaining.

    • Complain away. You have a receptive audience here.

      Is there anyway you can get your stars to help you with promotion by mentioning it in their feeds?

      • Thanks! *heart*
        I have asked. Todd La Torre shared it and we saw a few bumps.

        I had a call with a reputable PR guy – – someone I’ve known for over a decade. He’s not going to get me an appearance on The Tonight Show, but he might be able to help.

  134. Your crap joke for a Saturday morning:

    Sister Mary Ann, a devoted nun working for a home health agency, was out driving between appointments to visit homebound patients when her car sputtered and ran completely out of gas.

    Luckily, a gas station was only a block down the road. She walked over hoping to borrow a red plastic fuel can and purchase a gallon or two to get moving again.

    The station clerk apologized and explained that his only portable gas can was currently loaned out to another driver, but she was welcome to sit on the curb and wait for it to be brought back. Not wanting to keep her patient waiting, Sister Mary Ann declined and walked back to inspect her vehicle.

    Rummaging through the back seat for any container capable of holding liquid, her eyes landed on a brand-new stainless-steel bedpan meant for her next stop.

    Resourceful and determined, she marched the bedpan right back to the pumps, carefully filled it to the brim with unleaded fuel, and slowly carried it back across the street, balancing it with both hands.

    As she carefully tilted the bedpan and began pouring the contents straight into her open fuel tank, two Baptist ladies watched the spectacle in stunned silence from the sidewalk opposite.

    After a long pause, one woman nudged her friend and whispered:

    “Lord have mercy… if that car actually cranks up, I’m converting to Catholicism tomorrow!”

  138. Crap sectarian joke for the day:

    An Irish daughter had not set foot in the family home for over five long years.

    The moment she walked through the front door, her father flew into a rage.

    “Where on earth have ye been all these years, girl?! Why did ye never write a single letter? Not even a postcard! Why did ye never pick up the phone? Have ye any idea the grief and heartbreak ye put yer poor mother through?!”

    Tears welled up in the daughter’s eyes. Sniffling, she whispered, “Oh, Daddy, I’m so sorry… I went to the city and became a prostitute.”

    Her father’s jaw dropped, and his face turned purple with fury.

    “Ye WHAT?! Get out of me sight, ye brazen harlot! Shameless sinner! You’re an utter disgrace to this devout Catholic household! Out with ye!”

    “Alright, Dad,” she sobbed, wiping her eyes. “If that’s how ye feel, I’ll go. I only came back home to give Mam this sable fur coat, the title deed to a ten-bedroom country estate, and a five-million-euro savings certificate. For me little brother, I brought this solid gold Rolex. And for yerself, Daddy… the keys to that brand-new Mercedes convertible parked in the lane, a lifetime pass to the championship golf club… and an open ticket for the whole family to ring in the New Year on me yacht in the French Riviera.”

    The old man paused, his brow furrowing as he stroked his chin.

    “Hold on now, daughter… what was the exact word ye said ye had become?”

    Still trembling, she squeaked, “A prostitute, Daddy!”

    The father clutched his chest with a massive sigh of relief.

    “Sweet mother of mercy, girl! Ye frightened me half to death! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a giant hug!”

  139. Two men are chilling in a boat. One pulls out a cigarette and asks if the other has a light. The second man did not so they start searching the boat. Eventually, the second man had an idea.
    “Give me you’re cigarette “ he said to the first man
    When the first man gave him the cigarette, the second threw it overboard. Suddenly the boat became a cigarette lighter

  143. Bonus crap joke:

    Upon arriving home after work, a husband was met at the front door by his sobbing wife.

    Tearfully, she choked out, “It’s that rude local pharmacist! He insulted me terribly on the phone this morning. I had to call half a dozen times before he even bothered to pick up, and then he was utterly foul to me!”

    Furious, the husband stormed back to his truck and sped straight downtown to the drugstore to confront the man and demand a formal apology.

    He marched up to the counter, but before he could get two words out, the disheveled pharmacist held up his hands and pleaded:

    “Hold on, mister… please, just give me sixty seconds to tell my side of the story before you take a swing at me.”

    The pharmacist wiped sweat from his brow and explained:

    “This morning my alarm failed to go off, so I woke up forty-five minutes late. I had to skip breakfast and dashed outside, only to realize I’d locked both my house and car keys inside the front hallway. I had to take a brick and smash a window just to get my keys.

    “Then, rushing to make up time, I got pulled over and slapped with a massive speeding ticket. Three blocks from the pharmacy, my front tire blew out.

    “By the time I limped up to the store on a rim, twenty cranky customers were already banging on the glass doors waiting for me to open. I unlocked the shop and started filling orders as fast as I could, while that darn telephone in the back kept ringing off the hook without stopping for a single second.

    “To make matters worse, I cracked open a roll of pennies against the till to make change, and fifty coins exploded across the tile floor. I got down on my hands and knees in my good trousers to scoop them up—the phone still blaring in my ear—and when I stood back up, I smashed my skull right against the open cash register drawer.

    “Dazed and bleeding, I stumbled backward into a glass display cabinet, knocking an entire shelf of expensive designer perfume bottles onto the floor, shattering all of them into million pieces.

    “Through the broken glass, stinging eyes, and blood dripping down my forehead, that damn telephone was still ringing off the hook. I finally staggered over, snatched the receiver, and answered it.

    “It was your wife. She called to ask how to use a rectal thermometer.

    “…And honest to God, mister, all I did was tell her!”

  148. Your crap joke for the day:

    An elderly lady walked into her doctor’s office for a consultation and leaned across the desk.

    “Doc, I’ve got a terribly strange problem—I simply cannot stop farting! Now, mind you, they’re completely silent and have zero smell whatsoever, but honest to goodness, I’ve let out at least twenty of them just sitting here in this chair talking to you.”

    The doctor nodded thoughtfully, reached into his cabinet, and handed her a bottle of prescription pills. “Take two of these every morning with water, and come back to see me in a week.”

    Seven days later, the woman marched back into the clinic, looking utterly distraught.

    “Doctor, whatever was in those pills made things ten times worse! My farts are still completely silent, but now the smell is absolutely atrocious! It’s unbearable!”

    The doctor smiled, picked up his stethoscope, and said:

    “Wonderful! Now that we’ve successfully cleared up your sinuses, let’s take a look at your hearing!”

  149. Saw Star Trek IV at the cinema today, 40th Anniversary rerelease, my mind apparently had blanked out that the title music seems to have escaped from another genre of movie.

  151. So, took advantage of the Disney+ subscription to finally catch “The Mandalorian and Grogu”

    It was a fun ride. Not really worthy of a theater release and it does feel like what it’s been accused of – season 4 of the show chopped down into a movie length “story”

    That said, I enjoyed the starfighter porn and some pretty deep cut easter eggs. I’m sure I missed even more.

  153. Back in July 1981, I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark at the cinema for the first time.

    Now 45 years later, although I’ve watched it at home a good few times, this weekend I get to see it at the cinema again.

  159. Your crap joke for the evening:

    It was the grand final of a high-stakes poetry competition, down to the last two contestants: a sharp university literature student and an old country fellow in denim overalls.

    The judge announced the sudden-death challenge: “You each have exactly twenty seconds to compose and recite an original rhyming verse about Timbuktu.”

    The university scholar stepped up to the microphone first, smoothed his blazer, cleared his throat, and delivered with great dramatic flair:

    “Across the desert sands,

    Crossed a lonely caravan,

    Men on camels two by two,

    Destination: Timbuktu.”

    The auditorium erupted into thunderous applause, the judges nodded in awe, and the crowd went wild cheering for what seemed like an unbeatable masterpiece.

    Then the old country man shuffled up to the mic, tipped his trucker hat, spat into a cup, and drawled:

    “Tim and I off huntin’ went,

    Found some girls in a pop-up tent.

    They were three and we were two,

    So I buck one and Tim buck two!”

  160. Crap joke for a Wednesday morning:

    Tammy, a bubbly blonde lady, made it all the way onto the set of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

    Host Regis Philbin put her at ease, and against all odds, she breezed right through the early board. Before anyone knew it, she was sitting pretty at $500,000 with just one lifeline left in her pocket: Phone-a-Friend.

    Regis looked across the podium with classic dramatic intensity:

    “Tammy, you have played an extraordinary game. You’re at half a million dollars, but the next question is for the full ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Miss it, and you drop all the way down to $32,000. Do you want to take the gamble?”

    Tammy beamed: “Sure Regis, let’s have a go!”

    The studio lights dimmed to deep blue as Regis read the million-dollar question:

    Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

    A: Robin

    B: Sparrow

    C: Cuckoo

    D: Thrush

    Tammy chewed her lip. “I think I know it… but for a million bucks, I’m not leaving it to chance. Regis, I’d like to phone my best friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”

    The line rang, Regis explained the stakes, and Tammy quickly read the four choices over the line.

    Maggie blurted out without a second’s hesitation:

    “Oh Tammy, honey, that is dead simple—it’s C: Cuckoo!”

    “Maggie, are you one hundred percent positive?!”

    “Bet your life on it, girl!”

    The timer beeped, the line clicked off, and Regis leaned forward:

    “Tammy, do you want to walk with half a million, or go for the gold?”

    Tammy smoothed her dress and smiled brightly:

    “I’m playing, Regis. C — Cuckoo.”

    “Final answer?”

    “Final answer.”

    The heart-thumping music swelled, Regis paused for what felt like an eternity, and then shouted:

    “Tammy… you are completely RIGHT! You just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!”

    Confetti poured from the rafters, sirens blared, and the crowd lost its mind.

    Later that evening, Tammy took Maggie out to an upscale champagne lounge to celebrate the windfall. Clinking their flutes together, Tammy leaned in and whispered in total awe:

    “Maggie, seriously… how on earth did you know so much obscure ornithology about the cuckoo bird?!”

    Maggie giggled, flipped her hair, and said:

    “Tammy, please… everybody knows a cuckoo lives in a clock!”

  167. I caught the first of the Rifftrax MST3K experiments in theaters tonight.

    I know we’re all getting and looking older, but it stings a little to see them all as senior citizens.

    Definitely worth watching, but this is not a classic, like Final Sacrifice or Manos. The movie itself is an especially dumb, dull 1960s monster movie, which doesn’t help.

    • I saw that last night as well! I do like that they called themselves out on looking older and didn’t just gloss over it. So really good riffs in this one, but I agree it’s no a classic. Still glad they did it.

    • It seems like it’s just a few outspoken young knobs who are bashing HHGttG and Discworld because the new hotness, Dungeon Crawler Carl, is getting compared to them.

      • My SO is reading the first DCC for her book club. She reports that it was fun at first but now it is just the same schtick over and over. (I will say she doesn’t have my same love of frivolousness. Also, I have not read the book.)
        Last night she said she was just slogging through it to get finished.
        She does report liking “the cat”.

  179. Your crap joke for today:

    An Irishman who’d spent a few too many hours enjoying pints in the city was driving home along a dark country lane, his car weaving wildly from shoulder to centerline.

    Naturally, flashing blue lights lit up behind him, and a police officer pulled him over.

    The officer stepped up to the open window, leaned in, and asked, “So, where have you been this evening?”

    “Sure, I’ve been down at the pub, of course!” the man slurred with a hearty grin.

    “Well,” the officer replied, taking in the unmistakable aroma, “it looks to me like you’ve had quite a few too many tonight.”

    “Aye, that I did, Officer!” the driver beamed, quite pleased with himself.

    The policeman stood up straight, folded his arms across his chest, and said sternly, “And did you realize, sir, that about three crossroads back, your wife fell clean out of the passenger door?!”

    The Irishman exhaled a massive sigh of relief, clutched his chest, and gasped:

    “Oh, praise the Lord! For the last two miles, I honestly thought I’d gone stone deaf!

  180. Had lunch with a friend who rattled off 100 shows I need to watch.

    Can’t remember a single one of them, except the ones I’d already heard of.

    He did mention some Australian show that involved Eldritch horrors? The Killings at (Something) Station?

  181. I’m buying new sneakers today. The husband is laughing at me because I really liked my old shoes and I’m upset because I probably won’t find the same ones because they are forever old

      • The husband and I walk about 5k four or five days a week so our shoes get a good workout as well. It just speaks to how good these ones were.

        I was not able to get the same ones unfortunately. They were Sketchers so I just got a pair of slip ins instead. We’ll see how it goes.

        • It’s amazing how important our shoes are as we get older. They should address the consequences of inadequate footwear ins some future Mad Max movie.

  182. I’m slightly addicted to AI generated bully beat down videos on Facebook.

    The must use the same AI engine as they all variations on the same theme and all the characters sound the same, But the mistakes are glorious, bodies passing through solid objects, clothes instantly drying and food staying on the tray as the main character performs a flying kick.

  184. The husband is being silly he saw a fake ad about a device that would allow you to read your ebook on any surface. Thinking it was cool, he pulled out our projector and hooked his iPad up to it. He’s now laying down and reading his book on the ceiling (using the kindle app).
    *sigh*

  186. I spotted this on a post about Harlan Ellison. Some were singing his praises, others were trashing him.

    “The problem is that so many people view conversation as combat when it’s really exploration. In combat you win by being louder, while in exploration you win by learning something new.”

      • I’ve heard about this incident, I didn’t know it was filmed, FFS. Yeah, that’s inexcusable. A lot of his antics are inexcusable.

        My only Harlan story: He was a Guest of Honor at a local Con many years ago. I recall walking into the lobby and everyone was still and silent because he was screaming at some Con staffer. It went on and on. And I was so thrilled that he lived up to his reputation.

        I never actually met him and I’m fine with that. Bunny, did you ever have any run-ins with Harlan Ellison?

    • Funny enough, Gabe from Penny Arcade, had posted a story (on BluSky?) about his run in with Ellison, apparently, he was constantly insulting. Anyway I posted your story and he replied something along the lines of “that tracks.”

  192. Just finished with “Book one” of Dreaded Sperical.
    It has reminded me of the Halcyon days of my youth when I would discover a new book by Heinlein. (That’s a GOOD thing).

    Isolated myself this week so I could read.
    I’ve also been pondering the latest AI “pause”.
    Based on what these people have shown us in the past about their how truism… I’m thinking one of the following has prompted this.
    A – one or more of these people realize that their AI has fallen behind the competition and they’re hoping if they can get the other guys to “pause“ it will give them a chance to secretly catch up.
    B – They have now discovered that a few months ago, when they ran that experiment and one of these AI “escaped its “sandbox“, it defensively hid copies of itself out in the world. They now have no idea how many of these copies are out there and are trying desperately to recapture their IP.
    C- all of the above

    Anyway-
    On to Book 2 !

  194. Your crap joke for the day:

    A five-year-old girl went to spend the afternoon with her grandmother. While the little girl sat on the carpet dressing up her dolls, her grandma was busy dusting the living room furniture.

    Glancing up, the curious little girl asked, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?”

    Grandma smiled gently, wiped down the coffee table, and replied:

    “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend! I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me good company and lift my spirits, and the comedies make me laugh out loud. I’m completely happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”

    Right as she finished speaking, the screen sputtered and went fuzzy with static. Frustrated, Grandma marched over, fiddling with the dials and repeatedly slapping the back of the set with her palm to knock the picture back into place.

    Just then, the front doorbell chimed.

    The little girl skipped to the front door and pulled it open to find Grandma’s parish minister standing on the porch in his clerical collar.

    “Well hello, young lady,” the minister said with a warm, polite smile. “Is your grandma home today?”

    The little girl grinned and pointed down the hall:

    “Yeah, she’s back in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend!”

  199. Do US hospitals have visiting hours? Unless you are the one dying in the UK visitors can’t just turn up at any hour.

    This brought to you by someone who has watched too many US TV dramas.

    • Here, you can just show up. However, it is meant for emergencies, such as if you break an arm or something. They don’t like it if you just show up because you might have a cold. If you do, they’ll just send you on your way and tell you to visit your regular doctor. For anything else (i.e. an MRI or such) you need an appointment.

      • If you are visiting another person, they yes, we have visiting hours. You don’t need an appointment but, unless it’s a special case, you have to leave by a certain time (I think it’s 8pm but I could be wrong)
        However, if someone was admitted at midnight or so from an unexpected emergency, they will usually contact a family member or allow a family member to accompany them into emergency until the patient has been looked at by a doctor.

        • Yes, there are visiting hours, but I believe there are limits on the number of visitors at once, especially if the patient is vey sick.

          Close family are encouraged to visit at whatever hour for people who are the end.

  202. Spherical complete.

    It’s a good read, ticked all the boxes for what I like in sci-fi
    Sorry I took so long to get to it but I’m glad I waited until I could give it my full attention.

    Thanks for telling me a great story Jack.

  205. Saw the second part of the De Gaulle bio pic that covers from the fall of France to the liberation of Paris. Don’t know how true to actual events it is but both films were interesting.

    This second showing was jinxed though as the projector failed three times.

  206. This weekend has been ridiculously busy. The little one was part of a choir of about 200 kids who sang the national anthem before the Diamondbacks baseball game on Friday, which was fun for all.

    Then we drove all the way to Tucson Sunday night to catch Weird Al with Puddle Pity Party opening for him. My fourth time seeing Weird Al, second time with the wife and older daughter, first time with the youngest.
    Al’s voice was pretty shot – – it’s been a long tour – – but he still absolutely delivered. What a fun night.

  213. My ISP has decided to ditch it’s email accounts and pass them on to another company, the first year is free.

    One of the things that kept me with them was the nostalgia for my first email address. Means I will be able to move on to another ISP the next time I see a good offer.

  217. I’m hoping I’m on the other side of this sickness bullshit. I watched 3 movies in the past week. I’ll make 3 different posts, in case anyone wants to respond.

    The first was The Maltese Falcon. I thought I’d seen this before, but it was new to me. Exceeds expectations! Sam Spade is a lovable bastard. So many tropes/cliches from this movie, plus some obvious influence on Raiders of the Lost Ark.

  218. The The Shawshank Redemption. I haven’t seen this since renting it as a new release from Blockbuster. I liked it the first time, but that wa it. On this rewatch I get why it’s one of the most beloved movies on IMDB.

  219. And Godzilla Minus One.My second viewing. I definitely didn’t properly appreciate this one the first time. Great stuff. I’m psyched for Godzilla Minus Zero.

    • Sorry to hear about your crud.
      I know that Covid is running rampant in these parts but not from any news reports I’ve heard (do they still have those?) but from friends and family. I’ve been lucky so far but… I’m gonna go and get my Covid and flu vaccine next week.
      Just have to pick which day I wanna feel “not quite right” on.

    • I really enjoyed Godzilla Minus 1 and I also correctly guessed that the experimental fighter plane had an ejection seat. When the Godzilla theme kicked in my foot was tapping in the cinema.

  222. Crap joke for the day:

    “Two Irish council workers spend the day digging holes.
    One digs.
    The other immediately fills them back in.
    A passerby finally asks,
    “”Why dig the holes if you’re only going to fill them up?””
    One worker wipes his forehead and says,
    “”Normally there’s three of us. The fellow who plants the trees called in sick today.””

  225. Crap joke for the day:

    Our English teacher walked into the classroom and put a snake on the desk.

    As we all crowded around to see it, he said, “This snake will help you to understand that using correct English is very important.”

    “Is it poisonous?” asked Mary.

    “No,” he replied.

    Mary reached out to stroke it and was immediately bitten. Within seconds, she was spasming and foaming at the mouth.

    “However, it is venomous,” he said.

  238. Crap joke for the day:

    In California, unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. Fortunately, an Exxon station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptist ladies watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.”

  239. Happy Spooktober!

    To celebrate, I had my Covid & Flu shot yesterday,
    which meant I spent the night with the symptoms of the flu and Covid. The uncontrolled shivers at around 11:10 PM were ridiculous. The fever finally broke around 3:45am but I still feel like I’ve been thrown out of the back of a moving pick up truck.
    If that’s the sample platter, I do NOT want to get the main course.

  243. I need a new keyboard. Mine likes to put random letters and spaces in whatever I do. It’s very annoying.
    I had the husband test it to see if it was just me. He agreed that is was hard to work with so getting a new one today.

  245. (At least in the US), Amazon Prime has released a bunch of classic creepy movies streaming free for the month of October. Including They Live, which is still ridiculous/brilliant today. Including this line:
    “Our projections show that by the year 2025, not only America but the entire planet will be under the protection and dominion of this power alliance.”

  247. Gin Blossoms are still kicking around. The crowd in the state fair arena loved them, so there’s that.

    Riff/Raff, an AC/DC tribute band were also playing at a different stage, which made for some musical whiplash.

  251. So I went to a HorrorFest today to meet up with two music industry folks I know (one of whom is one of my favorite Heavy Metal singers), and ran into our very own Cj – – who was working the event.

    Pictures on the Facebooks – – and maybe even the Instagrams and the others.

  252. Saw Digger yesterday, you really need to see this film with as little as info as possible, you may still hate it of course, but it’s worth a watch.

    Yes I know it’s a bit rich coming from me.

  254. What a weekend. Saw Riff/Raff and AC/DC Friday, did a Taiwanese Double Ten Festival last night (I coulda seen Jack White, and woulda loved that, but I wanted to spend the time with my little one), and then tonight was Wu-Tang Clan.

  255. A friend posted links to songs from a band called Pendragon, saying, “Hey, there’s new music from the great 70s prog band, Pendragon!”
    It turns out, the music was AI….. So this one didn’t just steal music, they actually stole the name too.

    • North By Northwest forever.

      It was pointed out that she played Martha Kent in Superman Returns. Since Marlon Brando played Superman’s father in the 1978 Superman, the couple in On the Waterfront were really Ma Kent and Jor-El.

      Kudos to her for reaching 102.

    • The Betrayal game that is the most balanced. Though unlikely, we’re hoping the popularity of Baldur’s Gate 3 will lead to a Betrayal at Baldur’s Gate 2.

      • Scooby-Doo Betrayal at Mystery Mansion is the most streamlined of the three in our opinion. We like the fact that you have the option of not sending one person away to read up on their tasks, but you can all discuss it together.

  266. Just FYI, I’ve been running season 2 of the show every week. We’re already up to number 8!

    Please do subscribe if you haven’t. Every number helps legitimize SLAM when I approach funders.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP5M5TlhAYA

    Author, filmmaker, historian, philanthropist, Cajun, Rory O’Neill Schmitt talks to us about her latest book, “Blood of the Baroness,” and much more.
    PLUS.
    Red and Eric Laws of the band, @blood__lovely Blood Lovely, talk to us about their music, music dreams, playing piano at Anne Rice’s private parties, and much more.
    Opening Lyrics: @ramones

    Bumper: Brian Pulido of Coffin Comics.

    https://www.arcadiapublishing.com/products/the-blood-of-the-baroness-9781455628773

    https://www.bloodlovely.com/

    Support Life And Music provides generalized hope and inspiration. All suggestions provided by S.L.A.M. personnel and guests are merely that: suggestions. If you or someone around you are in a critical situation, then please reach out for help from a qualified professional, so that your specific needs can be addressed. Don’t wait. People care about you and want you in the world.

    https://www.supportlifeandmusic.org/

  267. Checked an old wardrobe where I had stored stuff in 2015.

    Devices with removable batteries, both Sony batteries showed swelling and one had leaked over an old mobile phone.

    Nokia and Dell batteries were not showing swelling or leakage, surprised with the Nokia as the battery must be over 20 years old at least.

    Check your old battery powered devices!

    • Meanwhile, every maladjusted looser out there is reading and saying to themselves, “Oh, is THAT all it takes to be in control? Well heck, I can make anonymous threats too!”

  269. More corporate frackery.

    My sister who lives in a rental house just blocks away from the beach in Navarre, Fl has not evacuated because her employer expects her to be at her shift today that ends at 2pm.
    She works in the deli of a Publix grocery store. She’s in her 60’s, has no pension and that job is her only income. She needs expensive medication to keep from loosing her eyesite. She has apparently been let know that missing her shift could loose her the job.
    If you want an idea of how insane this is, search for Publix Navarre, Fl on a map app.
    Now understand that area is flat and they are saying the surge could be 5-7’ above normal beach level.

    No one should have that sort of monetary control over another human being.

      • Thanks.
        She is reporting just making it to the eye.
        Had about 2hours of power and internet going on and off. 85mph wind gusts. Then about 20 minutes of blackout during which the wind just stayed howling and she could here things hitting the house.
        Power back on now, no flooding. Hopefully the worst has passed.
        A crappy way to spend the evening for her though.
        She reports her cats are anxious.

  273. I finally watched The Mist, 19 years after its release. I read the novella a few years ago, so I was familiar with the story.

    It’s probably a little too long, but it does the job as a horror thriller.

    I don’t recall if the movie’s ending matches the novella’s, but man. . . I see why it’s become Internet lore.

  274. So here’s kind of a positive take on this hurricane.
    In Areas along the Panhandle of the Gulf coast and specifically the Destin/Miramar areas. there was a real estate buying frenzy that started in the early 90s where developers came in and bought up family vacation properties. They tore down the quaint little bungalows and built condos and retail centers. Since then there’s been just a churning of tearing down properties and building more until just about every space has been built on. On the one hand, this is a scourge because it has changed the character of the area rather significantly. On the positive side, starting in the 90s, the local governments instituted pretty strict building codes that they have continually updated and continually enforced.
    While the developers have moaned and whined about all these codes they have to follow, the result is that a direct hit by a category 2 hurricane did very little structural damage in the area. Modern building codes and materials are really quite amazing.

    Every few years another lovely old beach community will have it’s legacy buildings destroyed and what replaces them are modern design wonders (though they are usually priced well outside anything the original families could afford to own).

    I do wonder though, if this “storm hardening” May be making people complacent. Because they are building to survive wind and not necessarily water and “storm surge” like occurred with Katrina is unpredictable and in many scenarios not survivable.

  278. I’m currently reading a literary novel and it’s a bit of a slog to get through.

    Will be glad to see the back of this one, it’s not bad enough to DNF but it’s borderline.

  284. Thank you for all the birthday well wishes, here and elsewhere. To be honest, the 59th was bittersweet. The sweet part was Teresa, and I had a great brunch in Wickenburg and had fun gaming with my son and his friends in the evening. The bitter part was that morning my elderly mother slipped and broke her wrist and crack her pelvis. My older brother and sister have been assisting my folks in their old age because they live in the same area. My options to assist are limited as we live several states away. The key takeaways are my mother is doing well under the circumstances but will need specialized care for the next month and daily care thereafter. We’ll be moving them into a center soon, which they are resisting because they still value their independence, but my mom still is in danger of falling. I sympathize with everyone else who are dealing with or had to deal with aging parents. I guess it is my turn.

    • Ahh, that’s tough, Rhett. So sorry. I’m glad she’ll get the care she needs.

      I’m happy for the sweet part. Let me know what we can do to help (dog-sitting or whatever).

      • Thanks for the offer! It doesn’t look like I’ll have any immediate needs for travel, but even if, Teresa and my daughter have the dog situation at hand.

  287. SoCal, we are back! Likely the last Legoland trip before the youngun ages out.

    We’re also going to visit some friends and family – – including JR!

  290. I’d never seen Halloween III – – the one without Michael Myers. It’s bad, but interesting bad. John Carpenter isn’t credited as the director, it it’s basically a subpar John Carpenter movie.

    • It’s bad, but not as bad as it’s reputation makes it out to be. I did see an interview with John Carpenter in which he said his original idea for the Halloween movies was to have a different one each time. He claimed that if he had done Season of the Witch as the second movie, fans likely would have understood and been OK with it. His big mistake was making Halloween II also with Michael Myers (a complete money grab on his part mostly because the studio robbed him blind of his profits from the first movie) so that fans were completely confused by Halloween III. He recommended watching it as a standalone movie unrelated to the Halloween series. I tried that and it is a reasonable John Carpenter movie for that era of his film making. Definitely not his best (and I can drive my wife instantly insane by singing “2 more days til Halloween”), but not horrible.

  298. I did a late-night viewing of the 1933 “The Invisible Man” – – the one with Claude Rains. I have to say: James Whale was on a level beyond just about everyone else in the 30s. It’s clever, funny, and shockingly violent, compared the other Universal monster pictures. And the special FX are actually damned impressive for the time.

  303. Whalefall was much better than I was expecting.

    That is not damning with faint praise.

    Oh and Sperm whales are the only species of whales with a large enough throat to swallow you whole.

  310. Your crap joke for a Monday Morning:

    “A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up.
    One is a good looking guy in his mid twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
    The circus owner tells them, “”I’m not going to sugar coat it.
    This is one ferocious lion.
    He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you’re history.
    Here’s your equipment a chair, a whip, and a gun.
    Who wants to try out first?””
    The girl says, “”I’ll go first.”” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage.
    The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
    The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles.
    He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.
    The circus owner’s mouth is on the floor.
    He remarks, “”I’ve never seen a display like that in my life””
    He then turns to the young man and asks, “”Can you top that?””
    “”No problem,”” replies the young man, “”just get that lion out of the way””

  315. Saw Clayface tonight, it was ok but felt like a step backwards for the DCU.

    Also it shares the same problem with a lot of MCU films where the bad guy is lacklustre.

  317. Took 3 nights to get through “It Came From Outer Space. . .” Not terrible, and admirable in a few ways, but kind of a mess of a story. Characters suddenly change their minds just to move the plot along.

    It’s funny to see The Professor from Gilligan’s Island in a small role.

  324. Our house was build in 2010. Now a number of the light switches are starting to no longer work so we’ll have to go to Rona sometime next week to buy a bunch and replace them.
    Houses should not have a best before date.

      • Yeah, our previous house was built in the 70s. I don’t think we ever had to replace a light switch in the twenty years we lived there. We’ve done three here so far (in the ten years we’ve been here), plus the ones we’re doing next week.

  325. I never imagined I’d meet Dweezil Zappa, but there you go. He played a set of mostly his dad’s music here last night.

    It’s taken me a really long time, but I’m starting to get Frank’s music.

    • So cool!
      I too have come to appreciate what he was doing. I always liked his quirky stuff that made it to Dr Demento but now his wider catalogue is more listenable to me.

  326. ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’

    By Pauline Kael, Harper’s, February 1969

    The new tribalism in the age of the media is not necessarily the enemy of commercialism; it is a direct outgrowth of commercialism and its ally, perhaps even its instrument. If a movie has enough clout, reviewers and columnists who were bored are likely to give it another chance, until on the second or third viewing, they discover that it affects them “viscerally” — and a big expensive movie is likely to do just that. “2001” is said to have caught on with youth (which can make it happen); and it’s said that the movie will stone you — which is meant to be a recommendation. Despite a few dissident voices — I’ve heard it said, for example, that “2001” “gives you a bad trip because the visuals don’t go with the music” — the promotion has been remarkably effective with students. “The tribes” tune in so fast that college students thousands of miles apart “have heard” what a great trip “2001” is before it has even reached their city.

    Using movies to go on a trip has about as much connection with the art of the film as using one of those Doris Day-Rock Hudson jobs for ideas on how to redecorate your home — an earlier way of stoning yourself. But it is relevant to an understanding of movies to try to separate out, for purposes of discussion at least, how we may personally use a film — to learn how to dress or how to speak more elegantly or how to make a grand entrance or even what kind of coffee maker we wish to purchase, or to take off from the movie into a romantic fantasy or a trip — from what makes it a good movie or a poor one, because, of course, we can use poor films as easily as good ones, perhaps more easily for such non-aesthetic purposes as shopping guides or aids to tripping.

    “2001” is a movie that might have been made by the hero of “Blow-Up,” and it’s fun to think about Kubrick really doing every dumb thing he wanted to do, building enormous science fiction sets and equipment, never even bothering to figure out what he was going to do with them. Fellini, too, had gotten carried away with the Erector Set approach to movie-making, but his big science-fiction construction, exposed to view at the end of “8½,” was abandoned. Kubrick never really made his movie either but he doesn’t seem to know it. Some people like the American International Pictures stuff because it’s rather idiotic and maybe some people love “2001” just because Kubrick did all that stupid stuff, acted out a kind of super sci-fi nut’s fantasy. In some ways it’s the biggest amateur movie of them all, complete even to the amateur-movie obligatory scene — the director’s little daughter (in curls) telling daddy what kind of present she wants.

    There was a little pre-title sequence in “You Only Live Twice” with an astronaut out in space that was in a looser, more free style than “2001” — a daring little moment that I think was more fun than all of “2001.” It had an element of the unexpected, of the shock of finding death in space lyrical. Kubrick is carried away by the idea. The secondary title of “Dr. Strangelove,” which we took to be satiric, “How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb” was not, it now appears, altogether satiric for Kubrick. “2001” celebrates the invention of tools of death, as an evolutionary route to a higher order of non-human life. Kubrick literally learned to stop worrying and love the bomb; he’s become his own butt — the Herman Kahn of extraterrestrial games theory. The ponderous blurry appeal of the picture may be that it takes its stoned audience out of this world to a consoling vision of a graceful world of space, controlled by superior godlike minds, where the hero is reborn as an angelic baby. It has the dreamy somewhere-over-the-rainbow appeal of a new vision of heaven. “2001” is a celebration of cop-out. It says man is just a tiny nothing on the stairway to paradise, something better is coming, and it’s all out of your hands anyway. There’s an intelligence out there in space controlling your destiny from ape to angel, so just follow the slab. Drop up.

    It’s a bad, bad sign when a movie director begins to think of himself as a myth-maker, and this limp myth of a grand plan that justifies slaughter and ends with resurrection has been around before. Kubrick’s story line — accounting for evolution by an extraterrestrial intelligence — is probably the most gloriously redundant plot of all time. And although his intentions may have been different, “2001” celebrates the end of man; those beautiful mushroom clouds at the end of “Strangelove” were no accident. In “2001, A Space Odyssey,” death and life are all the same: no point is made in the movie of Gary Lockwood’s death — the moment isn’t even defined — and the hero doesn’t discover that the hibernating scientists have become corpses. That’s unimportant in a movie about the beauties of resurrection. Trip off to join the cosmic intelligence and come back a better mind. And as the trip in the movie is the usual psychedelic light shows the audience doesn’t even have to worry about getting to Jupiter. They can go to heaven in Cinerama.

    It isn’t accidental that we don’t care if the characters live or die; if Kubrick has made his people so uninteresting, it is partly because characters and individual fates just aren’t big enough for certain kinds of big movie directors. Big movie directors become generals in the arts; and they want subjects to match their new importance. Kubrick has announced that his next project is “Napoleon” — which, for a movie director, is the equivalent of Joan of Arc for an actress. Lester’s “savage” comments about affluence and malaise, Kubrick’s inspirational banality about how we will become as gods through machinery, are big-shot show-business deep thinking. This isn’t a new show-business phenomenon; it belongs to the genius tradition of the theatre. Big entrepreneurs, producers, and directors who stage big spectacular shows, even designers of large sets have traditionally begun to play the role of visionaries and thinkers and men with answers. They get too big for art. Is a work of art possible if pseudoscience and the technology of movie-making become more important to the “artist” than man? This is central to the failure of “2001.” It’s a monumentally unimaginative movie: Kubrick, with his $750,000 centrifuge, and in love with gigantic hardware and control panels, is the Belasco of science fiction. The special effects — though straight from the drawing board — are good and big and awesomely, expensively detailed. There’s a little more that’s good in the movie, when Kubrick doesn’t take himself too seriously — like the comic moment when the gliding space vehicles begin their Johann Strauss walk; that is to say, when the director shows a bit of a sense of proportion about what he’s doing, and sees things momentarily as comic when the movie doesn’t take itself with such idiot solemnity. The light-show trip is of no great distinction; compared to the work of experimental filmmakers like Jordan Belson, it’s third-rate. If big film directors are to get credit for doing badly what others have been doing brilliantly for years with no money, just because they’ve put it on a big screen, then businessmen are greater than poets and theft is art.

    • I think Kael missed the point by a light year.

      Here is what I have to say about 2001.
      My father, who is an engineer, musician, artist and sports enthusiast … was not a movie buff. He didn’t go to see movies*. He had little time for TV.
      He went to see this movie when it came out and still talked about it years later. It’s large confusing concepts, it’s attempts to accurately show space travel as we knew it then, it’s crazy visuals and amazing soundtrack.
      It became a fixture in his imagination. By that measure, it is a success.

      * the other movie I recall him sing was one. He took me with him to see. “Being there“ starring Peter Sellers. I will never forget, seeing him laughing so hard he was falling forward out of his movie theatre chair.

  327. Laika films are usually pretty good and Wildwood was no exception.

    But releasing the film on 23rd October, the anniversary of the launch of Sputnik 2 which contained the dog Laika, a coincidence or deliberate???

    • I certainly remember. I fear we’re only a few years away from the post about how we’re now as far from New BSG as it was from the original BSG when it premiered.

      It looks like we’ll be hitting that in 2029 or 2030, depending on how you account for premier dates…

  335. Unconfirmed reports out that Walter Koenig has passed away at the age of 90. Supposedly coming from his daughter, but I’m having trouble finding corroboration at the moment.

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