303 thoughts on “SLAM Awards 2026”

  12. Your good deed for today:

    Support Life And Music is going to raise music mental health awareness at SXSW (South By Southwest) in 2027. Please click the link and vote for our “Facing the Musician Mental Health Crisis” panel. It only takes a minute, and it will help musicians of all ages and all levels – – and your vote will help S.L.A.M.!

    Don’t wait – – the voting window is short!

    THANK YOU.

    https://participate.sxsw.com/flow/sxsw/sxsw27/community-voting-sxsw/page/community-voting/session/1784618929927001KEhb

  20. Crap joke for the day:

    A man walks into a bar, orders a double bourbon, neat, and downs it in a single gulp.
    “”How big is a penguin?”” he asks.
    The bartender says, “”Around 18 inches.””
    He orders another double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down.
    “”What’s the biggest a penguin can ever be?””
    The bartender frowns. “”3 feet, maybe an inch or two more.””
    The man orders a third double bourbon, neat, and downs it even quicker. He sighs.
    “”I may have run over a nun.””

  26. Extracted from a FB AI rant:

    “ The trouble starts when “more capable” quietly becomes “better.” Human beings have never had a particularly impressive track record of limiting themselves to noble pursuits.

    A brilliant AI tutor can help a child understand algebra. It can also do the algebra for him. A legal assistant can help someone understand a contract. It can also help your most irritating neighbor produce twelve pages of extremely convincing nonsense about your fence. A writing assistant can help someone communicate better at work. It can also help Janet from Accounting send an email that sounds polite while making it unmistakably clear that she would like you to die.

    That is not a criticism of AI. That is what happens when you hand humans tools. Silicon Valley has always struggled with this, because the imaginary user inside a product launch is an unusually wholesome person. She is curious, productive and desperate to improve herself. Give her infinite intelligence and she will learn Mandarin, study physics, finally understand her retirement account and perhaps take up the cello. The real user is going to ask whether her ex’s new girlfriend is prettier than she is, and frankly, I understand her.

    We already carry nearly the entire sum of human knowledge in our pockets. We can use it to read Plato, learn another language or study the Roman Empire. We also use it to Google “why does my dog stare at me when I pee.” The phone expanded what we were capable of. Then humanity got involved.”

  28. CP: Primeval — John Carpenter

    Yes, that John Carpenter. He’s collaborating with his son and Daniel Davies to make a soundtrack to his new graphic novel, “Cathedral”

  29. When did Amazon start lending books like a library? I went to look at the price of an ebook and it said I could “borrow” the ebook free with my Prime membership. Obviously I went for it. Free is better than any price I’d pay.

    • You can’t switch off government alerts here. If there’s a tornado coming, they kind of want you to know, no matter where you are.

  33. Another crap joke:

    Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
    Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
    Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had….Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room..
    A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
    An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
    Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’
    Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck.
    Where do you want me to unload ’em??’

    • Surely you knew that going in? Cos it’s one of the things everybody mentions about the bloody movie.

      I enjoyed it and did not need to pee till after the film had finished.

      • I knew it was about 3 hours, yeah. But this one especially felt like 3 hours.

        All that hate seems unwarranted. . . I don’t regret seeing it. There were lots of good parts. I like the way it handled Odysseus, the horse, and a bunch of the other classic bits.

        My only complaint is that it felt long. I doubt if I’ll ever watch it again.

      • I did have to pee once during the film. But I have bladder issues, so there are few movies I can sit through without needing to pee, even if they aren’t 3 hours long

  39. Back in America from our big Eclipse trip. After getting clouded out a couple of years ago, Mrs. from Texas was determined for us to find a way to catch one. Took a cruise out of Southampton that included the eclipse and four stops in Spain and one in France.
    Overall a most excellent trip – though we really need to get those transporters invented. International economy flying is definitely getting harder. Though, honestly, walking through the business class section to get to the cheap seats, they didn’t look lime something worth paying 4x for.
    This was our first family trip since my youngest turned 21 and I don’t think I was prepared for how that would change the character of the trip with all four of us being unrestricted adults now. It was nice and I know we aren’t going to get many more chances like this.

    • That sounds like a great trip Ed! We pondered doing the same, but with with Alaska this year. Was it crowded in Spain with all the eclipse enjoyers?

  42. This weekend I found out the husband, myself, and a few friends are all terrible people.
    We are playing a western rpg. We had to find an outlaw so we ask a character (the game master a.k.a the husband) if there were any distinguishing features for the person we were looking for. The husband, without thinking said he had a lisp.
    Then we found out his partner’s name was Silas. We were crying laughing by the end of it.
    I think we’re all going to hell.

  43. I hope that we’re not about to go over yet another waterfall of horror around here.

    Sorry to be vague. Please keep fingers and toes crossed.

  56. JW: The Wild Bunch

    Although I’ve seen bits of it over the years this was the first time I watched it all the way through, I do love bleak endings.

  57. In another ‘feeling old’ moment, this week I will be seeing the 30th anniversary rerelease of Trainspotting at the cinema

    30 YEARS!!!!! WTF!

  62. Between fatigue, obligations, and working on stuff for SLAM, the SLAM Awards, and SLAM season 2, I’ve been pretty boring lately.

    I never imagined when I left corporate hell that I’d become even busier, but in hindsight… of course that’s the case.

  69. OK, as crazy as this seems to be to type, I’ve just gotten back from China!

    We took a two week trip with the kids and their significant other others. “Long ass flight” aside… It was a really good time. There is so so much I could say about the experience. Short synopsis of the itinerary – we all flew from our respective homes to Vancouver and from there flew to Beijing for a few days. From there we went Bullet train to Xian (she-Anne) then flew to Guilin (guy-Lynn) then boat down a river to Yang Shu than flew Shanghai.
    Short bits:
    China is BIG.
    -“The Great Wall“ seems misnamed. “ Overly Extensive wall“ or maybe “amazingly ambitious wall“ might be more accurate. Stunning to be sure but “Great“ just seems to denote something else.
    – The PEOPLE were great. Wonderfully gracious and seem to love Americans. Go figure.
    – We had arranged for guides at each location, which was pretty important for language and cultural reasons. Although surprisingly enough, my kids and their others had learned (before hand) enough Chinese to be able to order food or find bathrooms. My kids are so much smarter than me!
    – Beijing and Shanghai are stunningly large. More than 23 million people in each city. Beijing is physically 60 km in size.
    – The countryside is phenomenal. Gorgeous and exotic.
    – Real Chinese food… OMG! So tasty.
    – Getting over there is exorbitantly expensive. Existing there is amazingly cheap for Americans. We could order “family style”, six delicious dishes plus drinks (including beer) and walk away from dinner having spent $45.
    – Driving is insane! People pass whenever they want. Scooters zipping in and out cutting across roads and up onto the sidewalks. Cars/trucks will do three point U-turns in the middle of any road, in car choked traffic, when ever they want. The “car horn” may be there national anthem.
    And driving itself is a new experience for them. Most families have only owned cars for about 15 years. yet… I never saw so much as a single “fender bender”. Easily half of the vehicles are electric. Even in the “country“.
    I’ll do a separate post on cultural observations and it may or may not surprise you that things aren’t what we’ve been told they are over there.
    If you get an opportunity to go there, do so. Especially before trump ruins that for Americans as well.

  73. There was/is a band called Hue and Cry. They had a few hits in the 80s.

    Saw them perform in the early 2000s, they had changed direction with their music and it’s the only concert I’ve been too where a load of people just walked out.

  74. My life is boring so I haven’t posted much but I thought I should get this one in as the next post I make will cost (most of) you 50% more

  75. Memory is a strange thing I always remember what a pain in the ass defrosting the small chest freezer is when I start defrosting the freezer.

  84. It’s been a whirlwind of a day. The next few days promise to get even more crazy.

    Lots of exciting stuff and some less good stuff on the agenda.

  89. Started listening to a podcast that is the third season of Death of an Artist. It covers the suicide of a a couple, Petra and Michael Mathers (children author and photographer). Although in their late 70s they were both healthy, sent letters to family and friends then killed themselves.

  91. JW: The Dog Stars

    Left me rather unimpressed even though it’s pretty faithful to the book it’s based. Weirdly the protagonist’s plot arc reminded me of Logan’s Run of all things

  93. We have to take the little one for a crappy appt today. It’s a minor thing, but not as minor as I’d like.

    As fate would have it, today is also the big day for SLAM. I’m releasing the awards show video tonight. We got the final video this morning!

    • -Host:

      Cathy Rankin

      -2026 SLAM Award Recipients:

      Michael Alago (Legendary record label executive and artist. Subject of the acclaimed documentary: “Who the F**k is That Guy?”, author of “I Am Michael Alago.”)
      John Bambino (VP Artist Management for In De Goot Entertainment)
      Dani Cutler (Scene Mom Says, ex-KWSS Radio DJ)
      Rob Halford (Hall of Fame singer for Judas Priest, author of “Confess” and “Biblical”)
      Amy Sciarretto (Trendsetting music publicist, founder of Atom Splitter PR)
      Darryl “DMC” McDaniels (Rap/Hip-Hop pioneer, author of “Ten Ways to Not Commit Suicide”)
      Pamela Parks (Headity Artist Management)
      Jason McMaster (Iconic singer from Dangerous Toys, co-host of Talk Louder podcast)
      Dr. George Musgrave (aka Context, a Rapper who’s worked with Rihanna, Ed Sheeran, others. He co-wrote a groundbreaking clinical paper on musician mental health)
      Dr. Dorian Lamis (Psychologist, author, and professor who co-wrote the clinical paper, “Musicians, the music industry, and suicide: epidemiology, risk factors, and suggested prevention approaches,” with George Musgrave.)
      Marc Lopes (Singer with Let Us Prey, ex-Metal Church)

      -Music videos and performances from:

      Chuck Tomasi – Technorama
      Garrett James and the Wanderers – Alice Cooper’s Solid Rock Teen Center
      Jack Mangan – S.L.A.M.
      Cathy Rankin

      -Guest presentations from:

      Jose Mangin – SiriusXM
      Todd La Torre – Queensryche
      Mark Pruett – The Whiskey Network
      Michael Stackpole – Author
      David Ellefson – Kings of Thrash, ex-Megadeth
      Burton C. Bell – Solo artist, ex-Fear Factory
      Dobber Beverly – Oceans of Slumber
      Ben Wells – Black Stone Cherry
      Monte Conner* – Nuclear Blast Records
      Evo Terra – Simpler Media
      Dr. Sheila Dee – Simpler Media
      “Metal Dave” Glessner – Talk Louder
      Jonathan “JJ” Jacobs – Rawkstars
      Ari Jacobson – Backline
      Hilary Gleason – Backline
      Debbie Watson – Nuci’s Place
      Rob Dukes – Exodus

  99. My Sony TV has started acting up, won’t stay switched off, ignores the remote, and just acting weird.

    If I didn’t know better it feels like it’s been hacked.

    Tried the usual, soft then hard reset and switching off a load of things in setting but same strange behaviour.

    • Most Sony tvs use ir remotes. I don’t know about yours.

      Try turning your tv off and putting the remotes in a drawer. See if the tv is still behaving badly. It could be one of your remotes is malfunctioning and causing this behavior. It could also be due to a neighbor messing with your tv via a universal remote.

  100. Crap joke for the day:

    A 65-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken into hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.

    Seeing God, she asked, Is my time up?

    God said, No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth.

    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

    Right in front of God, she demanded, God, you said I had another 33 years to live. Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?

    God replied, I didn’t recognize you.

  102. Hopefully I will never find out how being skinned alive feels, but wearing new shoes that have skinned the back of my foot gives me a hint.

  103. Crap joke for the evening:

    SEX AFTER DEATH
    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
    After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
    “Marion…Marion…”
    “Is that you, Bob?”
    “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
    “That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
    “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
    Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again.
    Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”
    “Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?”
    “No…I’m a rabbit in Arizona!”

  108. There is a nice documentary on Netflix called the Last Salute, it’s about the last squadron of the Indian airforce equipped with MiG 21s which are being retired. It appears it was a well like plane among the pilots.

  110. Crap joke for the day:

    At the end of the tax year, the tax office sent a particularly thorough inspector to audit the books of a large regional hospital.

    While reviewing the procurement ledgers, the auditor turned to the hospital’s CFO with a smug grin. “I notice you order enormous quantities of bandages. What happens to the scraps at the end of the roll when there’s too little left to wrap a wound?”

    “Good question,” the CFO replied smoothly. “We save all the scrap ends and mail them back to the manufacturer. Every few months, they recycle them and send us a free roll in return.”

    “Oh,” the inspector said, visibly disappointed at receiving such a practical answer. Determined to find a loophole, he pressed on: “And what about all these plaster purchases for orthopedic casts? What do you do with the leftover powder and wet mix after setting a bone?”

    “Standard procedure,” the CFO nodded. “We collect all excess residue and return it to the supplier. Once a year, they send us a complimentary crate of fresh plaster.”

    Growing frustrated at his inability to rattle the CFO, the auditor smirked and asked:

    “Alright, wise guy… what do you do with all the discarded tissue left over from circumcision surgeries?”

    The CFO smiled calmly and replied:

    “We don’t waste anything. We collect all those little foreskins in a jar, ship them straight to the tax office, and about once a year, they send us a complete prick.”

  111. I got to meet with former Senator Doug Jones last night at a social event. He is currently running for governor of Alabama. What a swell, down to earth, intelligent, NICE GUY.
    All of which would seem to be disqualifying in today’s political world.
    He just comes across as a regular guy.

  118. 30 years ago:

    *Hotmail launched as one of the earliest widely used web-based email services.
    *The Internet Archive was founded.
    *“Macarena” became an international phenomenon and spent 14 weeks at No. 1 in the United States.
    *The “Magnificent Seven” became the first U.S. women’s gymnastics team to win Olympic team gold.
    *The musical Rent opened on Broadway and became a cultural phenomenon.
    *Blue’s Clues, Everybody Loves Raymond, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Judge Judy and The Daily Show premiered.
    *Major movie releases: Fargo, Independence Day, Mission: Impossible, Scream, Star Trek: First Contact, Trainspotting, The English Patient, From Dusk Til Dawn.

  131. So it’s been 35 years since Terminator 2 was released and this weekend it’s been rereleased at the cinemas.

    So I’m off for my first cinema rewatch and in 3D to boot!

  132. I think “new media” is dead.

    Years ago, I had Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Deadpan and we got 20,000 downloads in the first few weeks.

    I just released the SLAM Awards with pretty great star power. And we have less than 300 views. Roddy Bottum is part of Faith No More, who have 1.5 million followers on Facebook. As of now: 15 views.

    I’ve put a hell of a lot of work into these things, but they can’t make a real impact if no one sees them. I don’t know the solution or the reason for this. I suspect that big money has crept in, and in this day and age, you’re almost never going to get seen without investing a boatload of money from the get-go.

    I’m just complaining.

    • Complain away. You have a receptive audience here.

      Is there anyway you can get your stars to help you with promotion by mentioning it in their feeds?

      • Thanks! *heart*
        I have asked. Todd La Torre shared it and we saw a few bumps.

        I had a call with a reputable PR guy – – someone I’ve known for over a decade. He’s not going to get me an appearance on The Tonight Show, but he might be able to help.

  134. Your crap joke for a Saturday morning:

    Sister Mary Ann, a devoted nun working for a home health agency, was out driving between appointments to visit homebound patients when her car sputtered and ran completely out of gas.

    Luckily, a gas station was only a block down the road. She walked over hoping to borrow a red plastic fuel can and purchase a gallon or two to get moving again.

    The station clerk apologized and explained that his only portable gas can was currently loaned out to another driver, but she was welcome to sit on the curb and wait for it to be brought back. Not wanting to keep her patient waiting, Sister Mary Ann declined and walked back to inspect her vehicle.

    Rummaging through the back seat for any container capable of holding liquid, her eyes landed on a brand-new stainless-steel bedpan meant for her next stop.

    Resourceful and determined, she marched the bedpan right back to the pumps, carefully filled it to the brim with unleaded fuel, and slowly carried it back across the street, balancing it with both hands.

    As she carefully tilted the bedpan and began pouring the contents straight into her open fuel tank, two Baptist ladies watched the spectacle in stunned silence from the sidewalk opposite.

    After a long pause, one woman nudged her friend and whispered:

    “Lord have mercy… if that car actually cranks up, I’m converting to Catholicism tomorrow!”

  138. Crap sectarian joke for the day:

    An Irish daughter had not set foot in the family home for over five long years.

    The moment she walked through the front door, her father flew into a rage.

    “Where on earth have ye been all these years, girl?! Why did ye never write a single letter? Not even a postcard! Why did ye never pick up the phone? Have ye any idea the grief and heartbreak ye put yer poor mother through?!”

    Tears welled up in the daughter’s eyes. Sniffling, she whispered, “Oh, Daddy, I’m so sorry… I went to the city and became a prostitute.”

    Her father’s jaw dropped, and his face turned purple with fury.

    “Ye WHAT?! Get out of me sight, ye brazen harlot! Shameless sinner! You’re an utter disgrace to this devout Catholic household! Out with ye!”

    “Alright, Dad,” she sobbed, wiping her eyes. “If that’s how ye feel, I’ll go. I only came back home to give Mam this sable fur coat, the title deed to a ten-bedroom country estate, and a five-million-euro savings certificate. For me little brother, I brought this solid gold Rolex. And for yerself, Daddy… the keys to that brand-new Mercedes convertible parked in the lane, a lifetime pass to the championship golf club… and an open ticket for the whole family to ring in the New Year on me yacht in the French Riviera.”

    The old man paused, his brow furrowing as he stroked his chin.

    “Hold on now, daughter… what was the exact word ye said ye had become?”

    Still trembling, she squeaked, “A prostitute, Daddy!”

    The father clutched his chest with a massive sigh of relief.

    “Sweet mother of mercy, girl! Ye frightened me half to death! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a giant hug!”

  139. Two men are chilling in a boat. One pulls out a cigarette and asks if the other has a light. The second man did not so they start searching the boat. Eventually, the second man had an idea.
    “Give me you’re cigarette “ he said to the first man
    When the first man gave him the cigarette, the second threw it overboard. Suddenly the boat became a cigarette lighter

  143. Bonus crap joke:

    Upon arriving home after work, a husband was met at the front door by his sobbing wife.

    Tearfully, she choked out, “It’s that rude local pharmacist! He insulted me terribly on the phone this morning. I had to call half a dozen times before he even bothered to pick up, and then he was utterly foul to me!”

    Furious, the husband stormed back to his truck and sped straight downtown to the drugstore to confront the man and demand a formal apology.

    He marched up to the counter, but before he could get two words out, the disheveled pharmacist held up his hands and pleaded:

    “Hold on, mister… please, just give me sixty seconds to tell my side of the story before you take a swing at me.”

    The pharmacist wiped sweat from his brow and explained:

    “This morning my alarm failed to go off, so I woke up forty-five minutes late. I had to skip breakfast and dashed outside, only to realize I’d locked both my house and car keys inside the front hallway. I had to take a brick and smash a window just to get my keys.

    “Then, rushing to make up time, I got pulled over and slapped with a massive speeding ticket. Three blocks from the pharmacy, my front tire blew out.

    “By the time I limped up to the store on a rim, twenty cranky customers were already banging on the glass doors waiting for me to open. I unlocked the shop and started filling orders as fast as I could, while that darn telephone in the back kept ringing off the hook without stopping for a single second.

    “To make matters worse, I cracked open a roll of pennies against the till to make change, and fifty coins exploded across the tile floor. I got down on my hands and knees in my good trousers to scoop them up—the phone still blaring in my ear—and when I stood back up, I smashed my skull right against the open cash register drawer.

    “Dazed and bleeding, I stumbled backward into a glass display cabinet, knocking an entire shelf of expensive designer perfume bottles onto the floor, shattering all of them into million pieces.

    “Through the broken glass, stinging eyes, and blood dripping down my forehead, that damn telephone was still ringing off the hook. I finally staggered over, snatched the receiver, and answered it.

    “It was your wife. She called to ask how to use a rectal thermometer.

    “…And honest to God, mister, all I did was tell her!”

  148. Your crap joke for the day:

    An elderly lady walked into her doctor’s office for a consultation and leaned across the desk.

    “Doc, I’ve got a terribly strange problem—I simply cannot stop farting! Now, mind you, they’re completely silent and have zero smell whatsoever, but honest to goodness, I’ve let out at least twenty of them just sitting here in this chair talking to you.”

    The doctor nodded thoughtfully, reached into his cabinet, and handed her a bottle of prescription pills. “Take two of these every morning with water, and come back to see me in a week.”

    Seven days later, the woman marched back into the clinic, looking utterly distraught.

    “Doctor, whatever was in those pills made things ten times worse! My farts are still completely silent, but now the smell is absolutely atrocious! It’s unbearable!”

    The doctor smiled, picked up his stethoscope, and said:

    “Wonderful! Now that we’ve successfully cleared up your sinuses, let’s take a look at your hearing!”

  149. Saw Star Trek IV at the cinema today, 40th Anniversary rerelease, my mind apparently had blanked out that the title music seems to have escaped from another genre of movie.

  151. So, took advantage of the Disney+ subscription to finally catch “The Mandalorian and Grogu”

    It was a fun ride. Not really worthy of a theater release and it does feel like what it’s been accused of – season 4 of the show chopped down into a movie length “story”

    That said, I enjoyed the starfighter porn and some pretty deep cut easter eggs. I’m sure I missed even more.

  153. Back in July 1981, I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark at the cinema for the first time.

    Now 45 years later, although I’ve watched it at home a good few times, this weekend I get to see it at the cinema again.

  159. Your crap joke for the evening:

    It was the grand final of a high-stakes poetry competition, down to the last two contestants: a sharp university literature student and an old country fellow in denim overalls.

    The judge announced the sudden-death challenge: “You each have exactly twenty seconds to compose and recite an original rhyming verse about Timbuktu.”

    The university scholar stepped up to the microphone first, smoothed his blazer, cleared his throat, and delivered with great dramatic flair:

    “Across the desert sands,

    Crossed a lonely caravan,

    Men on camels two by two,

    Destination: Timbuktu.”

    The auditorium erupted into thunderous applause, the judges nodded in awe, and the crowd went wild cheering for what seemed like an unbeatable masterpiece.

    Then the old country man shuffled up to the mic, tipped his trucker hat, spat into a cup, and drawled:

    “Tim and I off huntin’ went,

    Found some girls in a pop-up tent.

    They were three and we were two,

    So I buck one and Tim buck two!”

  160. Crap joke for a Wednesday morning:

    Tammy, a bubbly blonde lady, made it all the way onto the set of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

    Host Regis Philbin put her at ease, and against all odds, she breezed right through the early board. Before anyone knew it, she was sitting pretty at $500,000 with just one lifeline left in her pocket: Phone-a-Friend.

    Regis looked across the podium with classic dramatic intensity:

    “Tammy, you have played an extraordinary game. You’re at half a million dollars, but the next question is for the full ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Miss it, and you drop all the way down to $32,000. Do you want to take the gamble?”

    Tammy beamed: “Sure Regis, let’s have a go!”

    The studio lights dimmed to deep blue as Regis read the million-dollar question:

    Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

    A: Robin

    B: Sparrow

    C: Cuckoo

    D: Thrush

    Tammy chewed her lip. “I think I know it… but for a million bucks, I’m not leaving it to chance. Regis, I’d like to phone my best friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”

    The line rang, Regis explained the stakes, and Tammy quickly read the four choices over the line.

    Maggie blurted out without a second’s hesitation:

    “Oh Tammy, honey, that is dead simple—it’s C: Cuckoo!”

    “Maggie, are you one hundred percent positive?!”

    “Bet your life on it, girl!”

    The timer beeped, the line clicked off, and Regis leaned forward:

    “Tammy, do you want to walk with half a million, or go for the gold?”

    Tammy smoothed her dress and smiled brightly:

    “I’m playing, Regis. C — Cuckoo.”

    “Final answer?”

    “Final answer.”

    The heart-thumping music swelled, Regis paused for what felt like an eternity, and then shouted:

    “Tammy… you are completely RIGHT! You just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!”

    Confetti poured from the rafters, sirens blared, and the crowd lost its mind.

    Later that evening, Tammy took Maggie out to an upscale champagne lounge to celebrate the windfall. Clinking their flutes together, Tammy leaned in and whispered in total awe:

    “Maggie, seriously… how on earth did you know so much obscure ornithology about the cuckoo bird?!”

    Maggie giggled, flipped her hair, and said:

    “Tammy, please… everybody knows a cuckoo lives in a clock!”

  167. I caught the first of the Rifftrax MST3K experiments in theaters tonight.

    I know we’re all getting and looking older, but it stings a little to see them all as senior citizens.

    Definitely worth watching, but this is not a classic, like Final Sacrifice or Manos. The movie itself is an especially dumb, dull 1960s monster movie, which doesn’t help.

    • I saw that last night as well! I do like that they called themselves out on looking older and didn’t just gloss over it. So really good riffs in this one, but I agree it’s no a classic. Still glad they did it.

    • It seems like it’s just a few outspoken young knobs who are bashing HHGttG and Discworld because the new hotness, Dungeon Crawler Carl, is getting compared to them.

  179. Your crap joke for today:

    An Irishman who’d spent a few too many hours enjoying pints in the city was driving home along a dark country lane, his car weaving wildly from shoulder to centerline.

    Naturally, flashing blue lights lit up behind him, and a police officer pulled him over.

    The officer stepped up to the open window, leaned in, and asked, “So, where have you been this evening?”

    “Sure, I’ve been down at the pub, of course!” the man slurred with a hearty grin.

    “Well,” the officer replied, taking in the unmistakable aroma, “it looks to me like you’ve had quite a few too many tonight.”

    “Aye, that I did, Officer!” the driver beamed, quite pleased with himself.

    The policeman stood up straight, folded his arms across his chest, and said sternly, “And did you realize, sir, that about three crossroads back, your wife fell clean out of the passenger door?!”

    The Irishman exhaled a massive sigh of relief, clutched his chest, and gasped:

    “Oh, praise the Lord! For the last two miles, I honestly thought I’d gone stone deaf!

  180. Had lunch with a friend who rattled off 100 shows I need to watch.

    Can’t remember a single one of them, except the ones I’d already heard of.

    He did mention some Australian show that involved Eldritch horrors? The Killings at (Something) Station?

  181. I’m buying new sneakers today. The husband is laughing at me because I really liked my old shoes and I’m upset because I probably won’t find the same ones because they are forever old

      • The husband and I walk about 5k four or five days a week so our shoes get a good workout as well. It just speaks to how good these ones were.

        I was not able to get the same ones unfortunately. They were Sketchers so I just got a pair of slip ins instead. We’ll see how it goes.

        • It’s amazing how important our shoes are as we get older. They should address the consequences of inadequate footwear ins some future Mad Max movie.

  182. I’m slightly addicted to AI generated bully beat down videos on Facebook.

    The must use the same AI engine as they all variations on the same theme and all the characters sound the same, But the mistakes are glorious, bodies passing through solid objects, clothes instantly drying and food staying on the tray as the main character performs a flying kick.

  184. The husband is being silly he saw a fake ad about a device that would allow you to read your ebook on any surface. Thinking it was cool, he pulled out our projector and hooked his iPad up to it. He’s now laying down and reading his book on the ceiling (using the kindle app).
    *sigh*

  186. I spotted this on a post about Harlan Ellison. Some were singing his praises, others were trashing him.

    “The problem is that so many people view conversation as combat when it’s really exploration. In combat you win by being louder, while in exploration you win by learning something new.”

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