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Pour Some Scrolling on Me (In the Name of Deadpan)

It got the most vote!

1,088 thoughts on “Pour Some Scrolling on Me (In the Name of Deadpan)”

  1. Alien: Covenant… I’m going to expand on Van’s comment about it.

    I think he sighed in his review.

    My review gets a different bodily function sound:

    I thought the ship was a very cool design and had some really cool functions.

    There were a few great tense, anxiety-ridden suspense/action moments. But they last just mere moments.

    Still; it was a crapfest of a movie.

  2. We need to stop making prequels of beloved film franchises. Prometheus wasn’t a terrible movie. . . Covenant is a fucking terrible movie. . .

    That’s all I’ll say, because I’m sure some of you still want to see it (and I get that).

    • Listen I get people do stupid shit when encountering the unknown , but the Crew not knowing the specs of their sim human was just fucking absurd.

    • I highly doubt it’s “fucking terrible”. Terrible films don’t get positive scores on metacritic. It may not be your cup of tea but so it goes. The DC films we actual terrible films due to their scores on most every respected critic site. That being said some people enjoyed those films.

      Now if I can actually see it without Van spoiling it in the next few days it’ll be a win win.

      • I’ll withhold my critiques until it’s been out for awhile, and everyone’s had a chance to see it. If people do enjoy it, then cool. There are a few good scenes and some brief touches on interesting concepts.

  4. Crap joke for the day:

    A couple has been married for 60 years. And to stay together for that long you have to be completely honest with your partner. So the husband and wife were very open, shared everything and didn’t have any secrets from each other. Well, almost… The wife kept a shoe box in the closet, which she had asked her husband not to open or even ask about.

    And the man never thought about the box in 60 years, until the day his wife got very sick. The doctor said she wouldn’t make it. While trying to sort out their affairs, the husband took the shoebox to his wife’s bedside and she agreed it was time for him to see what was inside. The man’s eyes widened as he discovered $95000 and two crocheted dolls in the box.

    “When we were to be married,” the old lady explained, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

    The husband was deeply touched, two dolls meant she was angry with him only twice in 60 years!

    “Honey,” he said after overcoming the emotions “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

    “Oh, that?” the wife said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

  5. Morning Pan

    Had a good visit with the youngest over the weekend. Her birthday is in a couple of days so we spoiled her.
    Now back to regular life.

  16. The Netflix write up: a sweet little boy’s wondrous dreams come to life while he sleeps. Unfortunately, so do his nightmares

  119. In an alternate universe, Kate Bush doesn’t become a crazy cat lady and instead of singing standards decides to take the musical foundation of “The Hounds of Love” and press it forward into the modern age. If she did that, I think she would sound a lot like Chelsea Wolfe. I submit for your consideration “House of Metal”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI5WbKK5wbk I can easily imagine Kate doing the vocals for this. If Justa jOE isn’t listening to Chelsea Wolfe, he should be.

  121. The new Joy Formidable live album – Leave No Trace – is excellent. Not acoustic, but a very toned down subtle performance that still maintains an all out rock and roll atmosphere. Lots of stuff from each of their albums – with lots of deep cuts – and some delightful witty banter.

    Rating – 4 out of 5 Welsh Ritzys

    • I think the line in the article “and this has caused some Trekkies to fret about the lack of white men in charge” should be changed to “and this has caused some racists to fret about the lack of white men in charge”. I think it would put the story in its proper light.

      • I’m going to say it again… STOP WRITING AND POSTING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. It’s what they want and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. Seriously… as soon as The Last Jedi comes out these people will again be yelling that “women have bled all over our Empire!”. People will be enraged for about a week then forget it happened. Then the next film will come out to get these people riled up. Folks will be enraged for about a week and then it will be forgotten. Wash rinse repeat.

        Here’s a tip – racists are gonna be racist. Bigots gonna bigot. It’s not new. Silence their voice by silencing your own about them.

        • See, you’re 100% right about giving these troglodytes the attn they crave. . . . but I don’t think it’s that simple. Our ignorance of just how deep and dangerous their particular mudpit is has cost us dearly.

          We need to somehow keep up our awareness that these people exist, without feeding their sad lust for atten. Their numbers are small and dwindling, but still apparently enough to mobilize and vote through disasters like Brexit and Trump.

  125. Speaking of systemic racism – – we saw Book of Mormon last night, in spite of me feeling sick-like.

    Holy crap, is it funny. So many great recurring jokes. (Yes, I’m endorsing a musical)

  133. Sometimes it’s fun to go back to the beginning and read some of the comments made some years ago (11??!). Since I avoided the board for so long, it is bringing back memories of all those bumpers and making me realize some people really haven’t changed 🙂

  137. What a week. I’m glad that things are no longer (metaphorically) on fire any more. I hope they stay that way over the weekend.

    • Of the modern books I’ve read, the full Darth Vader series is the best. Highly recommended! Especially the first 2 storylines (although there’s crossover with the main Star Wars series for the ‘Vader Down’ books).

      Otherwise, the Lando series was short and pretty good.

      Anyone else?

    • Oh ma gerd!

      Recent Marvel stuff – The entirety of the Vader series including the Vader Down crossover event, the Princess Leia miniseries, the current Dr. Aphra series (think Star Wars meets Tomb Raider meets Indiana Jones) and you could check out the main Star Wars series if you want. It doesn’t get truly great until issue 5 or 6 and this last arc they just got done with was meh.

      My very favorite SW run though, is the Star Wars: Legacy series from Dark Horse that ran 2006-2010. That is truly great Star Wars stuff. And that Deliah Blue…. vavavavoooom!

      Now get to it, Padawan!

  140. And we celebrated the last day of school by taking the girl and her BFF to see the new Pirates movie.

    There are some seriously creative idea people on Disney’s payroll. . . . Although the movie was still completely bonkers.

  144. Don’t lock the door on me
    You’d kill me, face down, dead
    Another part of you gone to waste
    Please hear me out
    You kill me face down dead
    Another day in the dark

  152. So, Mr. Mangan and I ate dinner at a BBQ place here in town tonight, and it got me thinking about KC-style BBQ. What is it like? Is it smothered in sauce? Cooked in a smoker, on a grill, or in a pit?

    What are we in for in August? My mouth is watering!!!

    • I can attest that this conversation did come up during our fancy dinner at Porkopolis.

      And sure, there’s Google, but I think we’re more interested in hearing from you who’ve experienced KC BBQ.

      • Traditional bbq is a low slow smoker with a brown sugar or molasses based sauce (so sweet). I tend to like the spicier sauces. A specialty if KC is the burnt end. I had to explain to a recent transplant that they aren’t really burnt. This was produced by our local public tv. https://youtu.be/AZgD2pn8CAQ

      • KC, unlike most cities, specializes in all styles of BBQ. You’ll even find Carolina vinegar style if you look. Food doesn’t tend to be smothered in sauce, they leave that to you. Most places have a tomato based sauce; dry rubs are also around. Ribs, brisket, beef, pork, chicken, lamb… you can find pretty much anything and I’m sure you’ll find something you love.

        Burnt ends originated in KC and is delicious. It originated from the trimmed ends of brisket, cut up with sauce, and served either in a sandwich or on their own.

        • Thanks, dude and dudette! Burnt ends are commonly available at places here. I’m a fan, although I think I prefer straight brisket. A couple of my favorite bbq places here also have the “naked meat” style, with a variety of sauce options to suit your tastes.

          I think the Phoenix BBQ scene is sticking to the KC style, as opposed to the Texas or Southern styles.

          • We have a competition society here that often trains judges, so we learn a lot about the different styles (as you can see by our responses)

          • Like Cynful said the traditional KC style is slightly sweet with brown sugar, but as ditto stated all sorts of BBQ are represented locally. From memory, I would rate Gates BBQ as traditional KC style. Arthur Bryant is less sweet with a more mustard base. Watching all the cooking shows, Joe’s BBQ (Formally Oklahoma Joe’s) is the best in town. I’ve never tried Joe’s but in the group of people I associated with back in KC, Jack Stack was generally thought of as best, and it gets my recommendation as well.

          • If you are coming here, you shouldn’t eat at Gates or Arthur Bryant. Gates, while an interesting experience, is very middle-of-the-road as is Arthur Bryant, which is important for historical reasons. There are much better places to eat here. Joe’s KC is excellent, as Rhettro said, as is Jack Stack, and Q39. I quite enjoy Danny Edwards and LC’s, and I’ve also heard great things about Slaps.

            There are so many excellent BBQ places here that you shouldn’t settle for merely good.

  154. One more link/discussion point for the night. . . I know the Captain America-Hydra conversation has been talked up ad nauseum, but this is truly an interesting perspective on it:
    http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-arts-and-culture/204647/nazi-captain-america

    For the TL;DR: it basically says that making Captain America a fascist was a canny reaction to bouts of white rage that had been directed at a couple of recent storylines that involved black men in the Captain America role, or empowered my the Super serum and acting heroically. . . Basically: giving the loudmouthed racist fanboys exactly what they were asking for.

    Goodnight Hydra.

  164. I hate dentists. May I never see one again. Oh wait, I have to go back next week to get the whole thing properly filled

    Currently at the drug store filling prescriptions for pain killers and antibiotics

  165. Oh and so people don’tbm bwnorry ltd d. Mno much, this is my dental woes

    Went in for a root canal. I’ve one I think he past so thought I knew what to expect
    Apparently, the tooth that should have had only on nerve, had a second one hiding behind it that did not show up in the x-ray, but did not like being drilled into thank you very much. To add to that it also curved under Neath the bone or something like that so they couldn’t just get out it. So it was already open so they had to send me into a specialist in the city to deal with it.
    Done now
    Now I just want to sleep

  173. I’ve been on a kick lately of listening to old Deadpan episodes. One funny comment, when Jack asks Mike T. Nelson if there was a possibility of any future MST3K, Mike said that given the legal hurdles he unfortunately didn’t think there was any chance of future MST3K episodes. LOL

  175. Weaker now, drawing fluid from me
    You kill me
    I’m not afraid of what you have just done
    But of what you’ve just become

  178. Hello Deadpan.
    Life took an unfortunate turn a few months back. A dream and a goal that I had invested my life in for the last 6 years evaporated rather suddenly. Been a bit adrift since then.

    In other news, the eldest of the Deapan Jr. Auxiliary got an Academic AND Athletic scholarship to the Colorado School Of Mines so who knows … I might get to share a pint with some of our Denver Deadpanites in the next 4 years.

    So yeh. That.

    • Good news plus good news plus bad news – – I think you come out slightly ahead there.

      Sorry about the disappointment, but I am glad to see you back.

    • Excellent news about your eldest. Mines is a SERIOUSLY spectacular school that you haev to be seriosuly spectacular smart just to get a sniff at. Well done !

      • Yeah jOE, sorry about the plans going astray but I’m happy for your progeny. If you look up thread I recommended you check out Chelsea Wolfe’s “House of Metal” as a substitute for a modern Kate Bush. I’m curious about your thoughts on this.

      • It’s a pretty cool place but they’d have never let ME in.
        I have threatened to get a job at Coors and move to Golden.
        That has not been well received.

        Since she will be a 20 hour drive from home … if there’s an emergency I might have to call on our Denver area Deadpanites to be her surrogate Aunt’s and Uncles!
        🙂

  180. You guys – – I think I’ve narrowed down the possibilities on the covfefe code! It’s gotta be one of the following:

    Comb-Over Victim Fakes Effectiveness, Fails Extravagantly

    Clutches On Vaginas, Frightening Enticing Females Everywhere

    Creepy Orange Villain Finds Excreted Fluids Erotic

    Crusty Oldie Very Flatulent Every Friday Evening

    Cheeky Oligarch Victimizes Females, Eensy Fingers Encroaching

  181. S5 of The Americans was pretty low key, nice character development, and the finale left me looking forward to the final S6.

  183. Why is it, when I think of bands that really ROCK … I never think of the Foo Fighters … yet every time I hear one of their songs on the radio I think “wow … that really rocks”?

    • I think they suffer from auto-dismissal, due to their popularity, and a handful of tacky poppy singles. But yeah, Grohl gets full marks for sticking around, as he promised.

      • Grohl is a talented musician and I definitely like a few Foo songs. But apprehension is that I’ve heard so much of it on rock radio, that it doesn’t feel unique enough for me to seek out more of the same.

        • So I just did some research and it turns out the Foo Fighters that I like were the FF from the 2007 album “Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace” .
          I especially like the musical complexity of “The Pretender”.

          • “The Pretender” is an excellent song.

            My favorite will always be the first album, on which Dave Grohl wrote and recorded the parts for every instrument (not at the same time).

  184. There have been two more wrong-way driver incidents here in the Phoenix Metro area in the past few days. It is such a disturbing and confusing phenomenon.

  186. “Ministry is gearing up to release a new album, featuring guest artists DJ Swamp (Beck), Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory), Arabian Prince (NWA), Lord of the Cello…”

    I don’t know if this an interesting or awful idea.

    • Can Al Jourgensen still dedicate himself to a full project? He released a terrible thing last year. The collaboration with Burton is promising.

  187. By almost all accounts WW is a smashing critical success. Unless youre the AV club… then it just gets a ‘eh’ from those hipsters.

    Hopefully this translates to box office success because I can see DC films in their ultimate ‘wisdom’ still relegating her to the background of the Universe in favor of continued awful Batman and Superman films. Time will tell but it’s obvious THIS is the franchise the DC universe should rotate around.

  192. Netflix has canceled Sense8.

    Without having watched Season 2 yet, I am bummed to hear this news. I hope the series has resolved all of its storylines by the end…

  193. Wow. 3 posts about Sense8 being cancelled within a half hour of each other…

    I will say this. As much as I don’t like that show I can empathise because I feel the same way about The Get Down being cancelled. Methinks some of these giant budget Netflix shows just get too big for their britches.

  203. “When cowboys file for divorce
    Where the money go?
    Who gets the kids?

    When cowboys file for divorce
    Who gets the house?
    Who gets the hounds?

    When cowboys pistol-whip the whores
    They build the case for more divorce
    They set the stage for martial wars!

    When Vladamir Putin stops commutin’
    He runs around the Kremlin shootin’
    Everythin’ in sight!”

  208. Sarah Silverman’s new special – A Speck Of Dust is an absolute clinic on how to do stand up. Highest of recommendations.

  209. I’ll add to my FB post…. “God has a plan” are not only the 4 most ignorant words one can say, but also the laziest.

  210. I don’t think I realized how much I am rooting for the Preds. OR I’m that much rooting against the stupid Penguins

    • The Trailer – I . am . so . IN!
      The trailer at least, gives it the look/feel of a pre – Daniel Craig, Bond Film!

      As to your WW comics question. Yes, there was a lot of underlying bondage themes.
      What? That wasn’t your question? Oops.

      • ; ) Mmmmbondage.

        No I have questions about characters in comics vs movie. I started reading the relaunch so something in the movie is making me curious about that character in the past.

  222. The amount of coverage that 5-10 people dying from terror attacks in Western countries gets compared to the utter lack of coverage of what 50-100 people dying in terror attacks in non-western countries is still fucking appalling to me

    • You don’t understand – without the coverage, what good would that kind of attack be?
      These violent extremists have absolutely no hope of killing everyone who doesn’t believe as they do. None. Zero. Zip.
      The only way they can possibly “win” is by doing something tremendously in-humane and then getting as much press coverage, social media coverage and politicians grandstanding about what they did … that the rest of us will FEAR them and change our very lives to stop living as we had been doing and instead, become more like them.

      So you see, If they don’t get all that coverage … what would be the point of committing these acts to begin with?

  246. Reporting in: Today I read a fascinating Rolling Stone interview with Johnny Carson from 1979. His Tonight Show persona was likable and witty, but he seems to have been a very intelligent, cool guy off-camera. His commentary about the state of TV, talk shows, comedy, actors, etc. was very sharp, and fully applicable to today’s world.

  249. Watched the first (2 hrs) of the new Twin Peaks last night.
    It was appropriately weird and messed up. If you were not a fan of (or did not ever see) the original series, I highly doubt you would enjoy this.

    Bonus – got to watch it with 3 of my buddies whom were part of the gang that got together every week, 25 years ago, to watch the original broadcasts.

    • Liberals and sane people are setting themselves up for major disappointment if they expect any real results to come of this.

      Before I could even hit the “Post Comment” button, I spotted right-wingers declaring victory.

      • As I heard one political analyst say, “With both houses controlled by Republicans, you will not see this president impeached until he has done something so heinous, that impeachment won’t be able to remedy the situation.”

    • hehe … (it’s funny cause it’s true)

      @danepps
      Lots of ways in which “I hope” can convey a threat. “Nice store you have here. I hope nobody burns it down.”

  260. I’m baking as well.
    Instructions – take muffin tin and line each compartment with a strip of bacon.
    (2) pour in some egg, add chopped yellow/red/orange peppers and chopped mushrooms. Top with shredded cheese.
    (3) Bake in oven 15 minutes at 350 degrees
    (4) Figure out a way to remove them from pan.
    (5) decide that maybe they needed another two minutes.
    (6) Eat one anyway because you are running late.
    (7) Decide that if I do this again I should slightly pre-cook bacon to get it a little more done.

    • Much the same. Two items I checked off because I never had them and have never had an opportunity to eat them: marmite and Taramasalata. I would if given the chance. The other two I don’t like: licorice and pickled eggs. Overall, I only checked 4 out of 87.

  272. So the charging cord wasn’t staying plugged in, so I took a toothpick to the iPhone charging port. I gotta tell ya, it had more lint than an old guy’s belly button. The cable seems to be staying nicely now.

  273. Currently, PHX is only 7 degrees hotter than Denver. Fuck this shit. I swear there are no seasons here anymore… its rainy and cool for all of April and May and then suddenly OH HAI HEAT!!!!!!!!!!! No middle ground

    I blame the Californians moving here and also Cheeto Hitler

      • For shizz. The rad thing about him is that the farm where he lives is a National Historic Site owned and run by the Park Service. So at any given time if you go visit there just may be an ex-pres hanging out at home. I mean you can’t just go see him but it’s still a very unique situation.

  286. Hey it’s cool to witness the Sidney Crosby era. He’s truly established himself as one of the all time greats. Congrats to the Pens and their fans on yet another Cup victory.

  289. Last night, hubby tells me we need eggs. I ask him what he used them for since there were still a half dozen left when I made cookies on Friday.
    Apparently he was getting something from the fridge and knocked the eggs on the floor. There were no survivors

  291. Today’s movie is Morgan
    The Netflix write up: when scientists in a clandestine lab create a human girl from synthetic DNA, a risk-management consultant is sent in to decide the project’s fate