Jack Mangan’s Deadpan: Episode 11. Jennifer Batten interview.

Contained in this podcast:

Ravyn Crescent (bumper)
Ex-Wife Files (promo)
Dani in NC (Stolen Rap Lyrics)
Amy Bowen (Dumbass Memories)
Unrelated thought
Guitar legend/virtuoso: Jennifer Batten – interview part 1.
Stolen Comedy Line
Mark Forman poem
Guitar legend/virtuoso: Jennifer Batten – interview part 2.
Spherical Tomi Spherical Tomi Spherical Tomi  promo and silliness
Chris Fisher’s: The Adult Spaces Child Free Podcast (promo)
Excessive outrobabble/announcements
Original music: Asteroid Speed Highway by Matt Mango.

Thanks to everyone! Follow that Jennifer Batten link and watch her “Flight of the Bumblebee” video. Then – if you own a guitar – take it and smash it into a million little pieces.

Deadpan is the way.

367 thoughts on “Jack Mangan’s Deadpan: Episode 11. Jennifer Batten interview.

  1. Jennifer Batten’s voice is totally unlike what I was prepared for-cool interview. Did you say ,”Down Ho” to her or was that Don Ho?
    Good stuff from the ladies Amy, Dani and Chris. You crazy chicks rock!
    Hey what ever happened to the GUY, you know the guy?

  2. Chris – Funny promo. Darn phone surveys.:)

    Amy – Don’t feel bad about being un-hip, I love the ZZ Top song “Pearl Necklace,” and only found out the second meaning of the phrase 3 years or so ago (Before the Sex In the City reference to it). I understand the song on a whole differnt level now.

    Dani – Mmmmmmmmmm, Little Bit…..
    I’ll be in my bunk.

  3. Another excellent cast. Loved the interview. Amy, don’t feel bad about it. I have to admit that I still don’t know the reference or the second meaning…so I’ll enlightened this weekend.

  4. Jack, your interview skills are improving with each episode. I just sat through an interview with someone I never heard of on a subject that I am not familiar with, and I enjoyed it.

  5. Interesting interview. There be some common themes this week and last, i.e. women in a “mans business”, etc. Very cool.

    CKing: “She wore a pearl neck-lace”

    Jack did I hear you throw down the gauntlet for us to get more comments this week? 1000, people. Thats the goal.

    Andrea you comment just like a boy!

    I love silliness. Woooooheeeeha.

  6. Jack WTF… Whoppi Goldberg and Demi Moore… make it stop!!!

    Dani- you are a hot mama

    Mark Forman- good job on teaching the world about OPP

    Jennifer Batten interview gave me musician envy– I wish I could play guitar… guitar players are sexy (especially bass players)

    I have to admit being in a childless relationship I am interested in trying out Chris Fishers podcast… sorry to all you mommies and daddies out there. Procreation and breeding are wonderful things.

    So how come you didn’t tell us before this podcast that there were comments here? If I had known that I would of been leaving comments.

    I want an mp3 of that song too Jack– add me to that email you are sending Alvie.

    Alvie- what do you mean I comment like a boy???

    back to work
    I hate work
    Id rather fantasize about rock stars

    PS- yes I think Jack is egging us on to get to 1000 this time… lets get to work kids

  7. PPS- I will be back to discuss a woman in a mans business topic later.

    C’mon you guys- you know I have to say something becasue I am an opinionated fucker thank you very much.

  8. I hate to give the impression that I’m jumping on the bandwagon, but I was actually going to E-amil you too, Jack, and ask for a copy of that song. It’s awsome and I love it!

    Actually I have to E-mail you about it anyways, but plese add me to your “Send Asteroid Speed Highway To…” list.

    IF you’re willing, that is.

  9. Buzz off, J from S.

    Your comments are not needed here.

    [serious] Im only joking [/serious]

    Oh, sorry Jeremy. I forgot you actually have a sense of humor…

  10. Boy y’all comment like a bunch of “P”s-this “P” is the second “P” from “OPP” yeah you know me. I heart the smell of napalm in the morning(well only in Francis Ford Coppola movies).
    Dani, Amy, Chris-we’re greedy we want more.
    Andrea Smarty Hotty-time to step up to the plate and hit like a man- snicker.
    Alvie-Is the Jimmy or the RZA?
    PFD-Is you Alvie’s beatch?
    JFS-Still talkin in class today.

  11. Is that a Pearl Jam reference? How clever! I’ve thought about the connection before. It’s like, the song, only you are talking about me! I thought I was funny, but, GOD! It like, puts a whole new meaning on the song, and how I bit the recess ladys tittie….I bow to you and your superior reference abilities, Sir.


    Bonus points for those who know what I am referencing there.

    Wait till you guys hear ALV-JFS’s new single. Its off the hizzy!!

  12. JFS-Flattery will get you a stolen Lyric for your lovely town of Starbucks fame:
    “Seattle” by PIL

    Don’ like the look of this old town

    What goes up must come down

    Character is lost and found

    On unfamiliar playing ground

    Get out of my world

    What in the world

    Shoeboxed around the rifle range

    Have all your functions rearranged

    Your mind and body gagged and bound

    On a new familiar playing ground

    The ordinary will ignore

    Whatever they canot explain

    As if–nothing ever happened

    And everything remained the same again

    What in the world (3)

    Get out of my world (3)

    Get up, get out, get out of my world (repeat)

    Open your mouth now

    Secret signs and knowing looks

    These sunny days will cook the books

    Happy to take the misery

    This mortal life can bring to me

    Don’t like the look of this old town

    What goes up must come down

    Character is lost and found

    On unfamiliar playing ground

    What in the world (3)

    What in, get out, get out, get out of my worlkld

    What in the world

    Palaces, barricades, threats meet promises


  13. Jeremy I am sorry i do not know the reference. But it seems familiar……do tell us what it is?

    I am leaving work early becasue I am pissed off. I busted my ass and got shit done half hour early when they were talking about everyone staying late tonight.

    Stupid work

    grumble grumble grumble

    I need to go home and make myself a happy vodka drink

    I need a sugar daddy…. anyone? anyone?

  14. All these music references…it’s kind of confusing. Here’s will help Al V and Andrea SH:
    Sugar, Sugar

    Sugar, ah honey honey
    You are my candy girl
    And you’ve got me wanting you.
    Honey, ah sugar sugar
    You are my candy girl
    And you’ve got me wanting you.
    I just can’t believe the loveliness of loving you
    (I just can’t believe it’s true)
    I just can’t believe the one to love this feeling to.
    (I just can’t believe it’s true)
    Ah sugar, ah honey honey
    You are my candy girl
    And you’ve got me wanting you.
    Ah honey, ah sugar sugar
    You are my candy girl
    And you’ve got me wanting you.
    When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could be
    (I know how sweet a kiss can be)
    Like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me
    (Pour your sweetness over me)
    Sugar, pour a little sugar on it honey,
    Pour a little sugar on it baby
    I’m gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
    Pour a little sugar on it oh yeah
    Pour a little sugar on it honey,
    Pour a little sugar on it baby
    I’m gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
    Pour a little sugar on it honey,
    Ah sugar, ah honey honey
    You are my candy girl
    And you’ve got me wanting you.
    Oh honey, honey, sugar sugar ..
    You are my candy girl ..

  15. Stewie making fun of some girl for saying “You are the weakest link, goodbye”

    “Sugar Daddy” by Thomson Twins, one of my faves at the time.:
    Well you’re all grown up and lookin’ good
    Been painting your face like a geisha would
    Been practising the art of treachery
    Little girls learn this at their mothers’ knee

    Sugar Daddy gonna me you happy
    Sugar Daddy gonna make it nice
    Sugar Daddy gonna give you candy
    But you gonna pay Sugar Daddy’s price

    Well I know what you want and you know how to get it
    Nothin but money gonna make you feel better
    I’ll buy you a dress and I’ll buy you a car
    I might even buy you an electric guitar


    (Sweet) Oh smile for the camera
    (As sugar) Yeah smile for the world
    (Sweet) Oh smile….give me your best smile
    (As candy) Like a sweet little girl

    So don’t bother me with all your personal life
    And I will ignore your little white lies
    And when the fairy falls from the Christmas tree
    Don’t ever think that you can run to me


    Yeah Sugar Daddy gonna make you happy
    Sugar Daddy gonna make it right
    Sugar Daddy gonna give you candy
    But you gonna pay
    Yeah, you’re gonna pay Sugar Daddy’s price
    Yeah yeah yeah
    Yeah yeah yeah

  16. Did Starabucks boy ask for this?
    Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye

    Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye

    He’ll never love you, the way that I love you
    ‘Cause if he did, no no, he wouldn’t make you cry
    He might be thrillin’ baby but a-my love (my love, my love)
    So dog-gone willin’
    So kiss him (I wanna see you kiss him. Wanna see you kiss him)
    Go on and kiss him goodbye, now

    Na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye
    Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye

    Listen to me now

    He’s never near you to comfort and cheer you
    When all those sad tears are fallin’ baby from your eyes
    He might be thrillin’ baby but a-my love (my love, my love)
    So dog-gone willin’
    So kiss him (I wanna see you kiss him. I wanna see you kiss him)
    Go on and kiss him goodbye, na-na na-na-na na na

    Na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye

    [fade in]
    Hey hey-ey, goodbye
    Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye
    Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye
    Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye
    [repeat many times and fade out]

  17. Mark! Whatsamatta yo links!

    Jack, Right Said what now?

    Ha Ha, Ive seen Jeremys “real” picture of himself.

    Hes a crackwhore. Ha Ha.

    Im a model, yknow what I mean?

  18. w000t! drinky drink. Yeeepa!

    Wait, Mark, DItto witholding???? Thems fighting words.


    Hi Ravyn!!!!

    Andrea already counting…

    Also, I heart Jack Mangan.

  19. Yes Ravyn I feel I need to rally the troops- so I wasted a comment asking for more comments. Yes it is cheating.

    My bad day continues so I have no deadpanisms to add to the conversation. I am enjoying some nice cold vodka beverages this evening in hopes of improving the evening.

    I hope the rest of you are well

    Jack Mangan is the shiz-it

  20. Andrea, Ive had a bad week. I understand. Perhaps its the curse of the Pool Party gods.

    Just know you have our hearts.

    Jack Mangan is the shpadoinkalist!

  21. awwww thanks Alvie

    I love all you guys over here

    Deadpanites rule

    Yes I believe some Gods were greatly offended by the pool party

    We must sacrifice virgins to said Gods

  22. Okay Alvie, I am feeling like giving tonight. You can have virgins. Mark? would you like some too? Go ahead.

    I get a 20 yr old Cabana boy


    Everyone is happy now

    Buenos Noches
    hasta Manana mis amigos


  23. Saw on yahoo music that Joan Jett has a video out called ACDC, with Carmen Elecktra, very cool video and song. But the really cool thing is a lady called Katie Melua, one damn sexy voice. Bought both of her cds after lisening to one song.

  24. Nothing like proof of drunken debauchery… I think Paul (from Des Moines) has the blackmail material on you Alvie.
    You may re think about the Des Moines comments…

  25. Ha ha.. Alvie don’t you worry. Next to Evo, everyone sounded sane. You had to defend yourself against Evo’s insanity.

    It probably is safer among deadpanites though.

    We got your back. We have a motherfuckin’ Spherical Tomi.

  26. Hey thanks alot Alvie…. I was just feeling better too, and thought, oh let me go be happy with the deadpanites.


    My husband is not a negative person, he is actually pretty happy-go-lucky but he has a saying that applies with that story: People ain’t shit. Because honestly most people suck.

    and i mean suck in the bad way, not the good way.

  27. Good saying. Theres a band called Slipknot, which I loathe, but thats niether her nor there. Point is they have a song called People=Shit. True dat.

    Except Deadpanites. If only the world could emmulate our community and its leader. What a wonderful place it would be…

    How the hell does this brown stuff keep getting on my nose???

  28. I actually kind of like some Slipknot, and I have that song. Please don’t hold that against me Alvie.

    The world would be a much happier place if they acted like Deadpanites.

    Dare I say Jack Mangan in ’08? Who would be his running mate? Alvie? are you up to that challenge?

    Hey I think I have something on my nose too now…. weird…

  29. Man I wish I could share with you the phone calls I have been getting for the past half hour or so. Argentina won their World Cup match today and I have been getting these crazy drunk happy phone calls from my family.

    My dad took today off work and is at home with his friends drunk. He has been drunk since like 9 this morning.

    My family is insane.

  30. Alvie,

    Although royally f’d up, it doesn’t surprise me in the least. As much as I’d like to think that America is the morally right nation we try to portray to the rest of the world, some of us just don’t give a shiiat.

    And by “us”, I mean all Americans, me personnaly. I’m not sure I would have the balls to lose my job over something like this, but I would like to think I would.

    Oh, and f’n AWESOME WIVMS, guys!!

    And the Deadpan wasn’t half bad, either. Seriously, Jack, it just keeps getting better. Dani said “I just sat through an interview with someone I never heard of on a subject that I am not familiar with, and I enjoyed it.” I completely agree with that.

    Great work!

  31. Youre family Is insane…
    because they like Futbol.

    [serious] I really am joking [/serious].

    I wont hold it against you, Andrea. Tho I will say you surprise me more and more.

    I dont think Jack would have me as a running mate, tho Id love to. Erm, did ya HEAR the WI! VM show?

  32. Mark. You said it, brutha. I like to think I would be able to stand up and give a big “fuck you” but at the same time, the family has to eat.

    America – land of the beautiful… as long as you have cash and/or are morally corrupt.

    K Im pissing myself off now.

    Oh, glad you are joining us, Mark… Sacrificial lambs..er..urm.. other posters are always welcome!

  33. Mark- I totally agree, Jack Mangan does the best damn interviews. I love them everytime.
    and yes next time please break it up we need to get to 1000 here.

    Alvie- Dont mess with a hispanic family and their futbol, seriously. My Dad was crying when his hometown team won the Argentine league. He was in tears. Tears I tell you. A grown man.

    Also I bet I have even more surprises for you. You just wait.

    Well then I guess I could be Jack’s running mate if he will have me.

  34. America- the land of so many possibilites and I think every day we throw the opportunity for true greatness away.

    Imagine (not to take John Lennin song here) just for a minute if we could use all that we use for war and power and greed and corruption and used it for good to help the world…

  35. Trust me, I get it. The world loves their World Cup like the U.S loves their Super Bowl. I get passion. I do.


    …more surprises?

    If youre gonna be Jacks *snicker* mate, be careful not to fall into the eye candy trap. You make sure the peeps know youre a SMARTY and A HOTTIE.

    The competition has no chance.

    …the hell is Jason C. at?

    Or Ditto…


  36. The Stanley what now?? Jack?!?!?!? What is this Hock-ey thing Mark is talkin bout?!?!?!?!?

    Andrea Id never make fun of you… and be serious about it.

    Saturday Saturday Saturday! 7:30 PM! Yurcak Field! The Denver Outlaws! The New Jersey Pride! The MLL’s finest!!!
    Prediction: Denver 20 NJ 18.
    Rebuttle, Jack?

    Also, I stick with Carolina in 6. Not that I want it, just that I feel it.

  37. Alvie I know- no need to even say it. We are all good at the deadpan.

    Sorry I have nothing to add to the hockey conversation but I hope all of your teams win (I know that is impossible but I don’t want to pick sides)
    The only other sport I know about is basketball and that is purely by osmosis becasue my husband is OBSESSED with basketball. (please dont tell him i said that) So uhh… go Miami!!!

    Alvie, good luck. I hope that they give you a huge raise.

  38. Sorry I’m out of it guys. I’ve been in bed for the past 2 days with a severe case of food poisoning. And, joy of joys, it looks like it will be the second year in a row that I miss my American Cancer Society Relay for Life event. Just sucks to be me, I guess.

    Hope y’all having a better time than I am.

  39. Oh no Ditto!! I hope you feel better sweetie.

    Nothing sucks more than food poisoning. Well maybe a stomach flu.


  40. Right now, Ditto, it does suck to be you. But not always, Im sure. We at the Deadpan believe it does not suck to be us. Nay, in fact to be us is to be funny, relevant, and downright sexy people. Jack Mangan has taught me this much…

    Life may suck, but we do not.

  41. Right on Alvie… right on…. I for one know I am funny, relevant and downright sexy and you are all too.

    What happened at your meeting?

  42. Well….

    The same thing that always happens.
    In a nutshell:

    Me: “I cant move up here. I need more money or a different job”
    Them: “Sure, sure I hear ya.”
    Me: “No really, Im not even breaking even working here.”
    Them: “Mmmkay, sure. Well see what we can do.”
    Me: (Muttering to myself) “Yeah, Im sure. Grad skool here I come…”

    All in all delightful.

  43. awwww poor Alvie.

    Jack, find him a job.

    Jobs suck. I am actually pretty happy where I am right now, this is a special place. They are all Deadpan like people (with a couple exceptions). But I have only been here 8 months. i have had some fucked up jobs though. So I feel your pain. especially the last place i was at. God that place was evil. I hope I can stay where I am now for the rest of my life.

  44. That must be a good feeling…

    Yknow I know its still early for the Bluesman, but where the hell is that bastard Jason?

    Betcha he’s sleeping. Thatd be nice.

    Not that I dont love talking to you, my dear…

  45. I hear you Alvie- Im not one of the guys. I understand. I know how men are.

    Actually I will have to be leaving you soon too. In about 20 minutes… but I will be back.

    Jeremy is still over at wingin it you can talk to him probably.

  46. Its not like that….

    Yeah, Jeremy is kinda, um, laying it on over there.

    Its kinda cool.

    Hey Jack, I hope you dont mind us using your comment board as our own personal chat room…

  47. I don’t even know where to jump in here.

    These boards are A-OK. Bear in mind – sometimes comments from new posters sit for an hour or so until I can get them out of Moderation, so those appear up in the middle of the pack, rather than at the bottom.

    I hear ya, Alvie. I like my day job, but yes, financial security would be nice.

  48. Yeah, it would. And to tell you the truth Im at the point where Id sell me sould for it. Joe and I were talking at the party about jobs you enjoy, but pay less vs. a job you hate but would pay well. I always tried to stick to the first skool of thought. Stay in my field even if the pay is shit.
    But, man, I can go to, say a Target and start at 50k a year being a manager. I promised myself Id never go back to retail. Not so sure anymore…

  49. I would pick happiness over money depending on how big the difference in money was. I did take a slight pay cut to be where I am at. But I think I have a better future here too. I also dont have kids. That changes everything.

  50. I think the middle-class cost of living is skyrocketing, but our formerly middle-class wages are in no way keeping pace. Living securely and happily are not exactly the same thing, but they’re closely linked. It’s hard to truly have much of one without the other.

    Knowhatamean? Knowhatamean? nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Say no more!

  51. [soapbox]Middle class? The whole point of the administration is to kill the middle class and create a large financial disparity. They are anti-union, anti-american jobs, pro-illegal immigration (illegal being the key word)…pro shooting friends in tha face with shotgun and blaming it on them.

    All this stuff is for the death of the middle class, which is what makes America great.[/soapbox]

  52. All I know is that I make barely a “middle class” wage yet, for my family size, Im technically below the poverty line.

    America, fuck yeah.

    [smelly] ass [/smelly]

  53. Wha’s the point of being filthy rich – if the rest of the population enjoys most of the same benefits? It’s hard to truly feel like you’re the elite when the poor and middle-class *also* get fair, efficient medical treatment, legal representation, etc. How can you feel truly superior if the commonfolk can occasionally afford those front-row seats next to you? If you’re wealthier than everyone else, then don’t you truly deserve more luxuries and benefits than the rest of the populace? Isn’t that the point of our system? Aren’t you entitled to preferential treatment?

  54. Well the middle class is there to pay for everything. The rich get a lot of stuff for free because places want their business, they get tax benefits, and anything they dont get for free thay can afford to get. The poor live off of government programs and dont pay for anything. The middleclass is what is holding this country together. We are the ones who pay all the taxes and rack up credit card bills and make everyone else richer.

  55. Glad to share my brown with you, Jeremy…

    Erm, scratch that.

    [rich] You got it Jack! Preferential treatment all around! $500 gift baskets for the wealthiest of actors! They need it! Thier families have to eat! [/rich]

    Heh…Stewie looks…

  56. Fubar bunch of brown references. Some guy from St. Louis tries to hijack my name and some Mangeran fels free to come in here pisssing and marking things? Bluesman gets afew hours of beauty rest and theis board goes to hell in a hand basket.
    Andrea-the Argies were kind of mean running up the score like that-but I still heart you(ooh some pink on my nose(prefered to brown 8 days a week).
    Jeremy-where’s my coffee today?
    Alvie-you goin down sucka!
    Jason-I’m guessing you took of the hockey mask and Texas sweetie said I want this boy and now you’re too busy to bother with us old folk.
    The world is… but I like you all that way anyway-in Taiwan we heart and liver people(sweetheart in Chinese is literally heart and liver person)… I can hear the eeeeews already.

  57. Ditto-poor bastard! You want sympathy (if you’re smart and I know you are ) get it from Miss Smarty Hottie. Get well soon buddy.
    Mark picking himself of the floow and wiping all of Andreas passionate kisses of his fae…. Damn, Andrea hearted me-I fainted and some German Shepard came by and licked me. Dat ain’t right.
    AL V.-you going down son, down down all the way down to chinatown!

  58. Mark panting-Andrea said all of those wonderful words: Argentina, South America, Latin America, Andrea Smarty Hottie-all in one post. Be still my hard, er HEART? Ooh-I so want to go to dem places, rapido, mas rapido.

  59. Woof woof,er, not drool. Woof Woof water of suspicious origin. Hmmm isn’t the Jack Manganimus the exper on canine water issues?
    Jeremy-more correctly we are at war with sanity, justice and integrity.

  60. Alvie,

    I heard that one the other day on the radio. At the time they didn’t know whose head it was, but they knew it came from the guys truck. It was also being speculated that he caused the accident hoping to hide the murder. Sorry, extra heads at the scene of an accident with no body to match up with: sounds pretty Evo to me.

  61. [Ignignokt] Behold y’all, the digital vats of urine
    [Err] Drink up bitches! Taste our liquid gold
    [Ignignokt] Err, you must respect yourself
    [Ignignokt] Forst you wreck yourself
    [Err] Hey man, you made a rhyme!
    [Ignignokt] Yes it is for I am a rap God, from beyond the moon

    [MF Doom]
    Everybody talkin ’bout pistols, gats is borin
    He came with a new topic to flip you, vats of urine
    All pro, check the stats, his style scorin
    While you at it, double check that Cristal you’re pourin
    Born of the pleads that needs a P in geniuses
    Broads don’t see it, since they don’t got these, conveniences
    Thank God she’s not a ho
    In the studio when you gotta go, you gotta go
    Before you flow, make sure you practice or you losin
    You don’t wanna miss and let the cactus get to oozin
    If any contestant splash, he’s disqualified
    Even if one drip should slide down the bottle side
    Put a bum in a even better pickle
    Reality show, how far would you go, to get a nickel?
    … let alone a buck
    Listen by the window, you can hear him moanin – yuck!
    Remember, tomorrow is garbage day
    It’s not the kind of stuff you want to save and harbor away
    Once it gets ripened and fermented
    It takes on a bouquet that I should say is naturally scented
    Tempted by a empty can of Guinness
    Or waitin until we get there, say two or three minutes
    Yeah, when it’s fresh, it’s sterile
    Some say digestible, even edible
    If you was stranded out to sea, alone and in trouble
    Survive dehyrdation, guzzle your own cup full
    Some day, you may even show your son how
    to use it to make potassium nitrate for gunpowder
    Funded by friends of ours who’s generous
    Join us next time when we discuss disgusting enemas

    [Err] He’s like a rap God
    [Err] He’s like a big log, that you find in your toilet
    [Ignignokt] Fo’ real!
    [Err] Bow down and suck his knees!
    [Ignignokt] And I am about to kick it all up in here
    [Err] Stand by for kicking!
    [Ignignokt] I am the kicker Err, not you
    [Ignignokt] You kick elsewhere
    [Err] This sucks man, I’m bored
    [Ignignokt] Me too!

  62. Yo PearlJammin JfS,
    That was def now check this here out:
    Rage Against The Machine
    The Battle of Los Angeles (1999)
    Mic Check

    Wait a minute now
    Ha Aha Cmon
    Wait a minute now

    To tha young r to tha e tha b to tha e tha l
    Never give up just live up
    Fed upon America
    I be spittin it up
    Rippin it up
    Even amount in each cup
    To my brothers burning bare feet on black top
    Whose curled neath tha shadows
    From the gaze of the cops
    Whose huntin for 9 to 5s through factory locks
    Is now hunted on this modern day auction block

    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?

    Te te te te te Huh
    Back in

    Flexin and mashin
    With complex text
    Fast and in a fashion
    That snap back necks
    Quicker than a fed cash tha company checks
    Huh, I be tha fire only Marley could catch
    Yes, I be tha flame in tha cellar beware
    Where nameless cold millions gaspin for air
    Tha naked and wageless
    Scream within cages, huh
    They make you pull your shit
    Just to get your share, what?

    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?

    Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go,
    Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go, Huh go,

    (walk e’m) down with the warrior sound, Uh.

    With this mic device
    I spit nonfiction
    Who got tha power
    This be my question
    Tha mass or tha few
    In this torn nation?
    Tha priest, tha book or tha congregation?
    Politricks who rob and hold down your zone?
    Or those who give tha thieves tha key to their homes?
    Tha pig whos free to murder one Shucklak
    Or survivors who make a move and murder one back?

    This mic device
    I spit nonfiction
    Who got tha power
    This be my question
    Tha mass of tha few
    In this torn nation?
    Tha priest, tha book or tha congregation?
    Politricks who rob and hold down your zone?
    Or those who give tha thieves tha key to their homes?
    Tha pig whos free to murder one Shucklak
    Or survivors who make a move and murder one back?

    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
    Mic Check, Ha Aha
    I be the anti-myth rhythm rock shocker, what?

  63. Oh now see, I should of come here first… I was corn-fused by the Afghanistan is in Latin America joke… ha ha ha. We dont have the Taliban in Argentina we harbor Nazis. Yes Im not proud of it. It was a dark time in Argentine politics.

    Hey there is Mr Jason C.

    Ditto sweetie drink fluids. Go back to bed, let me tuck you in.

  64. Thanks Andrea. The cramps are the worst part of this thing. Oh well, at least I know I can always be entertained here.

    You guys are great. Crazy, but great.

  65. Jack Mangan WINS!!!!!!! Yes it was Basil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers.

    Jack email me so we can arrange for me to give you your prize

  66. Sure, now Jason comes out to play… you dont have any more hippie cracks for me?

    Wow looks like fun has been being had here.

    Has, been , being, had, here…

    Vat do yousk expect? Lime nart an Engurish majior.

    MF DOOM is da bomb.

    All well, continue on. Ill be back. And Ill leave you with this, pertainingto our earlier economic classes in America conversation.


  67. Biggles: Er…. Nobody…um….
    Ximinez: Expects…
    Biggles: Expects… Nobody expects the…um…the Spanish…um…
    Ximinez: Inquisition.
    Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect –
    Ximinez: Our chief weapons are…
    Biggles: Our chief weapons are…um…er…
    Ximinez: Surprise…
    Biggles: Surprise and —
    Ximinez: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there – stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! … our chief weapons are surprise…blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
    Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. ‘My old man said follow the–‘
    Biggles: That’s enough.
    [To Cleveland] Now, how do you plead?
    Clevelnd: We’re innocent.
    Ximinez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!


  68. Ok sickies Mark from Taiwan is leaving now. Don’t forget to take your meds.
    Yo Jack I ain’t doing that mop up thing so you best clean up here yourself.
    Yes-I heart and liver you all (I think I’m going to become a vegetarian)

  69. Mary says, “Jason-Word!” Mary picks up package, put’s it in place and reverts to MARK. Mark says, good film there Jason.I’m organizing 21 gun salute and aiming all 21 guns at yoiu-Human Shiled boy0Evil snicker). Motto: Jason talking all the bullets so mark doesn’t have to.
    Ditto-Steaks on a plane madrefulcrum
    Alvie-leave that crack alone, dat shit’s bad for ya.

  70. Ditto: Which end has the greater water pressure now? Black Rain was a cool flick, no flied lie though. No ticki no laundry-ooh. Laundry. Gee I’m feeling a little pooped out.

  71. [100% serious] yes yes everyone. I would never do any of the things mentioned. I love kids. Im just not a mom, and its hard to discipline someone elses kids [/100% serious]

  72. “with that said…*Puts another orange in his sock* “Come hear you little brat!â€?”

    *opens window. sticks head in*
    WOOOOOOO!!!!! Sock talk over here too!!!!!!!! Boom over here!!!!!
    *slams window, runs away*

  73. [socks] I wish my son dinna need to sleep in the sam bed with us in order to fall asleep [/socks]


    They do tend to barf a good deal. Depending on the chillin.

  74. Now awake with the chillun, he was up on the middle of the night (5hrs ago) so hopefully some more sleepy will kick in.

    Oooh, and just now withe the barf, narrowly missing the mouse.

  75. w00t!

    Chillins are awesome like that!

    Chill, yall. Im checkin out choc-o-late chollos on champagne chime – a – chos!

    Right. That made sense. Not a stretch at all.

  76. Alvie- what the fuck are you talking about dude?

    I am happy to say I survived the evening and I didn’t need to spike the kids drinks with vodka. Now I am about to pack them up and go hang out on the beach!

    I hope you all are well. I may or may not be on the chat this afternoon.

    John- I hope your kid stops barfing.

  77. Me too. Barfing != fun.

    I won’t be on chat today. If I’m not in bed, I have to be at a friend’s birthday party at an Italian restaurant. That’s not going to be fun. 🙁

  78. “Yeah, next time we are in Denver to visit the father-in-law, I’m gonna habsolutely have to track Alvie down up in Boulder for a beer… ”

    Damn well better, sir…

    Andrea- What the fuck are YOU talking about?

    Oh god, ditto… I weep for your colon.

  79. Sorry I confused you Alvie- now I am really drunk so I will not say anything else because I will probably embarrass myself. Not that i really care, who fucking cares if I say something stupid right?

    I heart you all, it is still so fucking humid I just want to take my clothes off. Okay that was probably the before mentioned something stupid I would say while drunk

    time to go out again, because I am not nearly drunk enough

  80. Ditto, I weep for your semi-colon.

    Hey, sorry to bring up the podcast on these boards — but (I forgot to say) thanks everyone for your kind words about the show – and most notably about Asteroid Speed Highway. And thanks even to Jason for saying, “meh”, in a cool way.

    We are the Deadpan.

  81. Yeah I was sitting here thinking , and all of a sudden this impression popped into my head. I was “Alvie” thanking God and my lucky stars that i wasn’t “Evo.” I was also glad I wasn’t Jack Mangan, not becuase Jack isn’t cool beacause I realized as “Alvie” that Alvie is cool. So if being Alvie is cool and being Jack is cool, doesn’ that mean being Evo is … You know I think I’m going to quit here while I’m ahead of the game. Sometimes I’m so confused-where’s that bottle and clothes free humid latina?

  82. Finished listening to the show, a few blurps and beeps but a good interview all the same. Now I just got to figuire out what finger tapping is.

    Very cool end song. I’m going to see how many people I can fool into thinking it’s early Rage Against the Machine.

    Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.

  83. Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.
    Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.
    Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.
    Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.
    Love is knowing what to cut and what to paste.

    Fred’s right!!!!! This kicks ass….

    MARK 4MAN EVERYBOY!!!!!!! Dude’s 1337!

  84. Whinny! Neigh neigh whinny!*

    *Them are my relatives ya fuck!!!
    Wait, youre right, they are delicious.

    Hmmm, Paste eating… gotta be a Dumb Ass Memory there somewhere.

  85. Okay- This is all I remember of last night:
    – made and ate dinner
    – started drinking
    – went to bar continued drinking- I remember shots, and Cherry bombs
    – dont remember going home but I remember leaving home and getting into a cab
    – I remember dancing
    – I remember creepy guy bothering me and can hear my husband saying “get your fucking hands off my wife you piece of shit”
    – I remember eating at McDonalds and getting sick
    Everything else is a mystery. But I have since today found I sent 4 emails last night and apparently posted a comment on here. Sorry kids. Im going to go sleep some more now.

    Happy fathers day to all the dads here

  86. Hey Mark, I’m not sure why you are having problems making links the way that I do. You need to have the URL in plain quotes and you need to have the http part infront of the URL to work.

  87. Still a no go, my friend.

    Andrea, Lush is one of my favorite bands. Wht does that have to do with me calling you one? Nothin.

    Youre still A#1 fun in my book.

    Deadpanite powers, ACTIVATE!!!!!!!
    Form of, Dumb ass memeory!!!
    Form of, Stolen Hip Hop lyric!!

  88. I love Lush- you can say Im like Lush. Thank you. and thank you Mark you rock too my man.

    I miss Star Trek, call me crazy but I do.

    I just lent Star Trek Enterprise to my friend who came back from Iraq. He just finished getting hooked into Battlestar and I also made him watch Firefly and Serenity. Im so evil.

  89. Jason, I have enough love for both Star Wars and Star Trek– besides they are both totally unrelated. YOu cant compare them by any stretch of the imagination.

  90. I loved Lush. I was totally bummed when the band called it quits after Chris’s suicide, but I can understand why they wouldn’t go on. And as for being a lush, well, it is a fun state of mind!

    Mark, as near as I can tell, the problem is with your quotes. Stupid computers just aren’t quite smart enough sometimes.

    Set phasers on stun and target Jason C.

  91. w00t! Started a Lush conversation!

    gawdDAMN Im such a lady killa!!!!!

    [serious] we’ll see who the Lush fans are after that comment[/serious]

    Star Trek: TOS and TNG only

    Star Wars: Everything xcept for the “expanded universe”; unless its official cannon like Shadows of the Empire or the first Timothy Zahn Trillogy.
    w00t geek out!

    Jack Mangan truly fucks with the hands of time.

  92. And I believe all Star Wars books are canon. I think I remember reading that somewhere. I think Del Ray wont publish your Star Wars book unless it fits into the universe.

  93. I once was hip and knowledgeable about cool pop/alt-tributary music, but I have to confess I’ve never heard one note of Lush. So in a vain attempt to cover up my ignorance of your cool band – I’ll toss out one my own favorites:
    Mojave 3. Ever hear their “Ask Me Tomorrow” album? Clean shoehazing brilliance.

    My answer to the ultimate question of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Everything:


  94. Mark: It might be easier to email me to sort this out: david dot cattarin at gmail dot com

    Alvie: Kiss Chase, so there!

    Jack-mr-I-was-once???-cool: Once? ONCE?? Still are, dude. Don’t worry, bout Lush. There were one of those severely underrated bands that didn’t get any air play. It’s no surprise you never heard of them. I never got to listen to much Mojave 3. I’ll have to give that a try.

  95. If you like Lush, do you have any feelings for Mercury Rev or My Bloody Valentine? or possibly even Spiritualized. I spent a year and a half in a deep My Bloody Valentine obsession after Loveless came out.

    Jack- I do not know that band. i will check them out though.

    Knowledge of music bands is not coolness- the deadpan is ultra-cool.

  96. I do have feelings for Mercury Rev and My Bloody Valentine.

    Jack, Shoegaze is outstanding but I confess I dunno that band you speak of. I think of Catherine Wheel when I think of that sound. Forman hand a shoegaze band on not too long ago. Mark? Who was dat???

    God, how hot was Miki Berenyi? She went downhill when Chris died, but who can blame her? I never got that either. Youre in a rock band thats doing pretty well, you have a hot hot girl who happens to front the band, and you off yourself. Something else in there Im sure.

    Jason: Take that statement back right now “And I believe all Star Wars books are canon” now now now….

    This shoulda been 4 seperate posts.

  97. Anything authorized by George Lucas is Canon.

    In Star Trek anything authorized by Gene Roddenberry is canon- everything after Gene is speculation.

  98. Well Alvie sorry to spoil it for ya but even the Zhan trilogy isnt canon

    Another definition of canon, this one coming from Steven J. Sansweet, author of the Star Wars Encyclopedia:

    Which brings us to the often-asked question: Just what is Star Wars canon, and what is not? The one sure answer: The Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition — the three films themselves as executive-produced, and in the case of Star Wars written and directed, by George Lucas, are canon. Coming in a close second we have the authorised adaptations of the three films: the novels, radio dramas, and comics. After that, almost everything falls into a category of “quasi-canon.”

    read more here http://www.theforce.net/timetales/misc/intro.asp

  99. I hated the movies but the story is canon in my book. He wrote it therefore it is so.

    So say we all (or at least so say I)

  100. no Im not doubting the prequels are canon (they are) im saying that the hating fans wouldnt give a shit if George deemed the post RotJ books canon.

    Of course, Im not one of those. Im one of the few people who found the prequels enjoyable. I still have fun watching them. I asked for the movies to entertain me and they lived up to that expectation. I didnt ask for more. As some fans shouldnt have done.

    If you cant tell I like stirring up the pot. muhahah. I should be a super villian. the Stirrer.

  101. Look I liked the prequels. i hated parts, of course, but as a whole the story was good.

    the whole cannon issue, and Sansweet can make up whatever the fuck he wants, are simply those stories that, if George wants, can wipe off the map and say that they never existed. I bring up Shadows and Zahn because George has already SAID that he considers them as cannon and wont touch them. Will he someday? Sure. But someday he might decide Vader was never Lukes father. As it stands now, those are cannon and those are the only ones I know for sure.

    maybe I will read the books. dunno. really, whether something is cannon or not makes no difference on if Im willing to read it or not.

    stick that up you rTexas ass
    [serious] I like the conversation. Im just joking[/serious]

  102. I like Jason C Stirrer- has a ring to it.

    I agree with Alvie, I will read good books whether they are canon or not. Just like I continued with Star Trek even though I felt it wasnt part of Gene’s vision. I just will read the books knowing its not part of the story.

  103. Alvie on the X-wing books: Dude you gotta take my word on this Michael A. Stackpole (yes the one we here on Dragon Page) and Arron Allison make the best, gripping story, characters, and plots you can read in a Star Wars novel. You really get to know the characters, even love them, cry for them when they die. and characters do die.

    Plus the best part….No frackin Jedi! X-wings v TIEs/ Star Destroyers / etc. all the time, and ground blaster battles. And NO Jedi!!! wooo.

  104. Dear Mixer,

    Curses! You’ve found me new address.
    Ill have to kill that postman now.

    Hey wanna team up and get that no good bastard The Collagulater

    evily yours,
    The Stirrer

  105. I dont doubt you, Stirrer.

    I love that shit, Im a history major for fucks sake. I love those kind of war stories. You have my word, when life settles down I will check em out.

    No Jedi is good. I like that.

    Now be a good boy and go eat your squirrel stew.
    -The Mixer

  106. Actually I take that back Corran Horn, has a bit of Jedi in him. But its such a minor minor part of the first 4 books that you dont even remember.

    And I love Stackpoles books, I have to say Arron Allisons 3 books about the Wraith Squadron (a team Wedge puts together made up of misfits and outcasts) could easily be turned into the best damn TV show ever.

  107. You know what would be awesome would be just to adapt the three books into a script. Then I wouldnt have to think up my own stuff. 😉

    Of course if I did that I would want to get the permissions from Stackpole and Allison.

  108. MMM, you wouldnt want that, I think youd NEED it…

    Go for it. Do it do it do it.

    Not sure, but I think Mindless Self Indulgence is my fav band EVAR. At least they are right now. Thatll change.

    “All the people you love
    In a river of blood
    And dont forget to go
    Kill yourself
    Muthafucka go kill yourself”


  109. hmmm I think this Mad Hatter thing might be a good segment for my podcast.

    Take 5 or more related topics of the week and quickly discuss them before the Mad Hatter switched the topic. Im gunna write that down in my journal of evil…podcasting.

  110. huh? I cant keep up?

    Mindless Self Indulgence is a great name I do not know them
    I am obsessing over The Twilight Singers still.

    Blade series- I dont know….. Ill check it out though.

    Shakespeare- uhhhhh he ain’t so Jack Mangan Ill tell you that

  111. No one cares about your podcast!!!

    But um… cough… if someone did…er… hypothetically..cough… whats the link again…?cough…

    Not that I care…cough…urm.

    Wow, whats in the air?


    “The whitewall plaster
    It never catch on
    The whitewall a plaster
    it never catch on
    You always have to do it with a big long John
    Cause the whitewall never catch on”


    Jason: *thwack*

  113. Okay Im out, i cant keep up. You boys play nice. no broken bones please. ill come back and check on you in a bit.

  114. I mean, come on! Every one KNOWS that Hermione will end up with Snape, Ron and Harry end up in a torrid affair, and Ginny ends up being the bondage love slave to a reformed Voldemort! It was spelled out in book 1 people! Sheesh.

  115. Well, Im not really making a living.

    In a nutshell Im in front of a puter all day and I can actually keep up with work while I post this much.

    Archiving – yay.

    Id gladly trade it all for a better job with better pay.
    Actually I really should be working on studying for the GRE and applying for jobs with this time.

    Ah well, such is the way of the deadpan.

  116. See the problem is, as a history major, Ive unlearned all my math I ever learned, and Im ascared.

    My emphasis was American post 1900.

    Basically I like war.

    When did she take her GRE?

  117. 1995. And as a Theatre Arts major, not so big with the maths herself…

    Wow, you’re something like ten years younger than us, huh?

    Not that it matters…

    I’m mostly into pop-history, and never really concentrated studies toward it. You know, history of road systems, amusement parks, television history, that kinda stuff.

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