675 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #276: One With the Stillness

  1. Hmm, bandwidth for the podcast server is a bit off this morning. Currently showing about 50 more minutes to finish. Looks like I’ll be catching this one tomorrow.

  2. Jack Magans Deadpan #276: One With the Stillness

    Amy Bowen mmmmmeetup airport update

    Justa J0e plays road-shambo

    Jack talks Science Fiction

    Amy’s airport update part 2

    Brad P from NJ sends in his playoff team requests

    Jack returns to science fiction

    Amy talks about the mmmmeetup.

    More culture talk with Jack

    Amy Bowen with comes home

    Grease is the Word
    ditto
    EssBee
    AmyBowen
    Used Hair
    TCat
    DJ Bunny
    Ed from Texas
    Lo Pan
    Vanamonde
    Lo Pan
    JR Murdock
    Tony Mast
    Rhettro
    Desert Pixie (first of the week)

    Let Jack know if you want to join in the final episode.

    mini palooza on Slaughterhouse 5 – send in content

    Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

    Closing Music

  3. “Report: Roy on verge of becoming Avalanche coach”

    I dont know if it would work, but I’d sure be excited to Roytch what transpired.

  4. Your crap joke for the day:

    The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn’t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, “Hi Grandma, you’re looking good! How are they treating you?”
    Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, “They won’t let me fart.”

  5. So discovered ‘Charley and the Angel’ on Netflix UK.

    The last time I saw that film I was in a flea bitten cinema called ‘The Crown’ around about 1974.

    Ummm…

  6. Your crap joke for the day:

    Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

    A. They can both smell it, but can’t eat it.

  7. “If Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne were both drowning, and you only had time to save one, what kind of sandwich would you make?”

    Ah 4chan… posing the hard questions

  8. Bonus crap joke:

    One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night.” the postman comments. Bob in obvious pain replies, “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.” The postman thinks a moment and says, “How do you play that?” Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our “privates” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.” The postman laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.” Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responds. “Your name came up four or five times.”

  9. CA: my niece’s softball tournament with my brother – in – law. Not only is he embarassing his 12yr child, but he is utterly embarassing ME!

  10. You know what, that new Daft Punk song might be the flavor of the moment, but it’s pretty goshdarned good.

    In other daring, cutting edge statements, Kate Upton has a great body and I’ve sampled the Taco Bell Doritos tacos.

  11. CW: Episode 2 of ‘The Fall’

    I think I’m jealous of the person confident enough to let slip their hotel room number in conversation in an effort to get laid.

  12. … and blundering into the billiards room for a moment …

    Exactly what activities are the Boy Scouts planning on doing, in which the scout’s sexual preference will be a critical part of the activities? Do they have a fornication merit badge now?

    • Tinkling in the woods. It’s only OK if someone sees you tinkling in the woods if they can’t get aroused by it… unless of course you’re a scout master.

      • Tongue-in-check I know … but that gets to my point. It’s my understanding that BSA advocate the whole abstinence before marriage thing and if that is the case … would that not apply to both homosexual AND straight young men? Aren’t they supposed to be instructing them against under-age, premarital sex?
        Why/how would being gay change that?

        I guess my point is, the BSA does not have to approve of gay sex in their ranks because they are not supposed to be approving ANY sex among their scouts!

        • I guess I’m not seeing what you are upset about. The boy scouts just came out and said in no uncertain terms that they will no longer deny membership based on sexual orientation, that they are a youth organization in which all sexual activity is discouraged to begin with and that they aren’t interested in doing additional investigations to debate the matter. I thought it was pretty straight forward, but I could be missing something.

          http://www.scouting.org/sitecore/content/MembershipStandards/Resolution/results.aspx

          • UH, I hadn’t heard anything about this since some time Wed when I heard the BSA were debating it again. Until you posted your link I hadn’t heard there had been a resolution. A resolution that I see as the common sense answer. I find it encouraging.

          • That makes more sense. Your comment and the statement came at about the same time so I though you were having a reaction to the statement. Seems we’re probably on the same page. Especially considering I still thing BSA has a long way to go. At least they are moving faster towards the last part of the 20th century than the Catholic Church. We’ll work on the 21st century some other time.

  13. We finally got around to watching Savages, the much maligned Oliver Stone film. Not as bad as we’d heard, but still not very good.
    There ya go.
    Goodnight :at least The Doors movie was good:

  14. A mysterious caller from Swansea, and ticket booked for the Fadt and Furious flick (I know I know but I’ve got the itch to see a film)

    • Washed Noodles, Boiled Arugula?
      Wicked Nighties Billow Arousingly?
      Wash Neither Browncoat Alliance?
      Warty Narwhals Bray Aloud?

      Whatever it means, sign me up too!
      (Let us know if you come see it live)

      • It’s the nighty thing, for sure. I would like for you to imagine me and my people in that way, just for fun. It is a holiday weekend!

        I would LOVE to come catch a Suns game – LOVE.

    • “after an abstract canvas from his art collection for fetched a cool $43.8m at auction.”

      Why don’t I have that kind of art?

  15. Ok Deadpan!

    Today’s movie is The Apparition

    The DVR write up: in this unrelenting tale of terror, a young couple are haunted by an entity that feeds on fear following a parapsychology experiment. Desperate, they turn to a noted supernatural expert for help

  16. So, the cast of Babylon 5 is at Phoenix Comicon for the 20th anniversary of the show.

    And, Brandon Sanderson is at Phoenix Comicon for a Wheel of Time panel.

    I am not a Phoenix Comicon. There’s something decidedly wrong about this.

  17. So playing Alan Wake last night reminded me why I got out of PC gaming (well the cutting edge stuff).

    Messing around with settings to get the game to run smoothly..oh joy!

  18. Tonite is the annual pilgrimage with the kids to downtown Denver to see Fishbone. I’m not sure a 10 minute drive constitutes a ‘pilgrimage’ but dammit, it does now!

  19. Any fans of the “His Dark Materials” books out there? Any strong, non-spoilery feelings about the Pantalaimon character?

    I haven’t read the book or seen the film, although I recall that Joe Murphy was a fan, and I know that Pixie love the movie.

  20. Jack, Sly B is a big fan of His Dark Materials and I like them ok. B has no specific thoughts on Pan.

    Our youngest kitty is named Serafina Pekkula!

  21. The BBC archive is truly a treasure trove of quaintness.

    Currently listening to Peter Cushing talk about collecting birds eggs as a child.

  22. Hi guys and dolls!

    We’re home from a lovely visit with Sly B’s mom and grandma. I’m smoking my first brisket tonight – putting it on in a few hours. We are also binge-watching S2 of Once Upon A Time. We just started E14.

  23. From Justified:

    Raylan — “Dewey, can you still take a piss?”

    Dewey — “They took my kidneys, Raylan. Not my dick!”

    Raylan — “Your kidneys are for pissing. Go take a leak and if can still poss, then we know you still have your kidneys.”

    (Dewey goes and unzips his pants and takes a leak.”

    Dewey — “You mean I had four kidneys, Raylan?!”

    I heart Justified alot.

  24. On Saturday morning a brand new toner cartridge was put into my printer. This morning I go to use the printer and it tells me the toner is low. Since I didn’t print anything on the weekend it must be the cat’s fault. Hubby usually blames everything on the cat.

  25. Well a victory for Apple Maps, it safely pointed in the right direction to get us to Belsay and Brinkburn Priory and back again.

    Sadly no dragons.

    • omg. Blast from the past — Parker Lewis Cant Lose.

      Holy crap.

      And I bet Hulk Hogan makes a cameo, in a sex scene with his daughter (bad taste)

      • “Do you know why I admire the bonsai tree, Parker?”
        “Because it’s small and twisted?”

        That show may have been a direct rip of Ferris Bueller, but it had its moments.

  26. While the rain comes down, we shall watch Sand Sharks
    The DVR write up: prehistoric sand tiger sharks attack a wild beach party following an underwater earthquake

      • I do hope he does well for the Avs. I’m still smoldering from the Devils’ tragic experiment with former star, John Maclean. And let’s not speak of the Gretzky debacle in Phoenix.

        Of course, Roy has had success with running minor clubs. . . MacLean was only ever a moderately successful minor league coach. And Gretzky. . . was obviously ever good at/ever gave a shit about one thing in his life – – and he stopped both of those in the early 90s.

  27. Rhettro, my Detroit buddy posted a pic on FB today of a woman at the game holding a sign that says “Hey Ref! Does your wife know you’re cheating? Because you’re fu@!!ing the Wings!”

  28. Crap joke for the day:

    My son said, “Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?”I said, “I was 18. I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I’d ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her.”He said, “So what happened?”I said, “Nothing. Unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your Mother.”

  29. Ah the tyranny of asymmetric connections.

    When uploading a file, it’s quicker for me to tether my netbook to my phone and use 3G than to upload the file over my broadband connection.

  30. “Heads up” Van.
    Swellness coming to your side of the pond.

    “They Might Be Giants” European shows! No presale, but on sale on Friday 5/31!

    EDINBURGH Friday November 15. Venue: http://www.thequeenshall.net/

    BELFAST Sunday November 17. Show info: http://bit.ly/18ujNxa

    DUBLIN Monday November 18. Show info: http://bit.ly/117BpHr

    LONDON Tuesday November 19. Show info: http://bit.ly/10zUpBW

    MANCHESTER Wednesday November 20. Show info: http://bit.ly/1331WZD

    WEISSENHAUSERSTRAND Friday November 22. Rolling Stone Weekender Festival. Show info: http://bit.ly/146p5YU

    BERLIN Saturday November 23. Festaal Kreuzberg. Show info: http://bit.ly/11p0dtF

  31. The severed head beats the feathery wheel!

    The final 4 now are:
    Pittsburgh (unclaimed)
    Boston (Desert Pixie)

    LA (Rhettro)
    Chicago (Brad P from NJ)

    One of you lucky 3 will be doing the Unshow.

  32. So heading back home after seeing ‘Mud’ at the flicks.

    Pleasantly surprised, although the shoot out was a bit OTT for a coming of age film.

  33. Crap joke for the day:

    Message to the person who stole my trainers while I was on the bouncy castle , fucking grow up !…

  34. Spent a couple of hours at Walmart with my grandmother. No sitting in the bank parking lot while she deposits her pension cheque. It doesn’t get any more exciting than this

  35. BREAKING NEWS: “Amanda Bynes spotted jumping on trampolines at Sky Zone.”

    ..we now return you to your regularly scheduled Deadpan.

  36. Somehow I’ve convinced my company to send me to a technical conference in Vegas. And, since I require adult supervision, the wife is coming along. Though, while I’m spending my daytime hours going through different classes, I think she’s setting up for spa days at every hotel on the strip.

  37. omg. Huey Lewis & the News. On Jimmy Kimmel.

    He’s old and sings like an old man. The horns amd saxes were fabulous, tho.

  38. Morning Pan!

    My grandmother turns 94 tomorrow. She doesn’t use a walker, she doesn’t have a hearing aid, and she has all her faculties. I can only hope I’m in half as good shape when I’m that age.

  39. Skeptical. Still, food for thought. If my “Crash Day” novella ever was truly released by that British publisher (who knows?), then you could see that this has been a topic of interest to me.

  40. Speaking of. . . well ok, this isn’t really related at all.

    Hey tumbleweeds, Slaughterhouse Five is currently available for Netflix streaming. Van and I are going to discuss the film and the book sometime in the weeks ahead for one last impromptupalooza. I encourage you to play along!
    The film is quirky, strange, love-it-or-hate-it 70s sci-fi, it’s based on a classic novel from a beloved author – – it’s practically screaming for the Palooza treatment.

    I think we’ll keep things to one episode for this one.

      • I thought the character development in Thor bordered on awful. For instance, it was totally unbelievable for Natalie Portman’s character to fall in love with Thor that quickly. Perhaps the movie was edited down too much, but I really had to ignore those aspects in order to enjoy the movie.

    • I think I was in the minority but I thought Thor was quite the superior film compared to CA. Then again, I enjoy the character more so that may have a lil sompin to do wit it. Jive?

  41. Well friends, I’ll probably be even more miss than hit this week with the “business” trip.

    Jack – we actually saw Penn and Teller several years ago when my wife and I went on our own. This time, among others, we’re catching “O” at the Bellagio.

    Should be quite the week.

  42. Crap joke for the day:

    In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him.They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, “It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.””That’s correct”, said the boss.Another glass. “It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels.”Correct.” The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!”
    The boss collapsed…

  43. Got my phone bill today. For some reason, around when I landed in Deadpan Land my phone decided to run something on its own and gave me $160 in roaming charges. The rest of the weekend was fine but that 1/2 hour period shortly after I landed… I will have to remember to double check to make sure everything is off and no extra apps are running when I go out there next year.

  44. Well tonight I finally finished Osama by Lavie Tidhar and it only took me about six months.

    Not a reflection on the book (which was ok) more an indication of my declining ability to concentrate.

  45. Anyone recall seeing a castle/temple thingy from the highway in Phoenix? I also pointed it out fromthe Light Rail en route to the Science Center. It opened to the public for the first time last year.
    We took a tour this morning. Interesting piece of local history. I’m pretty sure there will be pictures on Facebook.

    • Never read Gatsby, never saw any instantiation of the movie(s), no intention to do any of them. Cabin in the Woods does, indeed, rock.

        • I’m still stunned they felt the need to release it in 3D, if ever there was a film that didn’t need to be in 3D ‘The Great Gatsby’ is it.

  46. Finally caught up with comments. Will be reading and watching Slaughterhouse-Five along with y’all.

    Regular and freelance work have both been kicking my butt this week. So glad to have a weekend. :happy:

    • Favorite characters (doubt I’m in any way outside the norm here): Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion, Aria, Daenerys
      Most hated characters: Joffrey, Sansa, Theon

      I have seen seasons 1 and 2, but not yet seen any of Season 3.
      I have read the first book and am half way through the second book.

      PS, I don’t hate Joffrey because he’s an ass-hat (like many people). I hate Joffrey because he is one dimensional and boring. His ass-hatness is not in any way unique, clever or inspiring.

      Has anyone switched liking/disliking of characters between the books and the series? I’m curious.

      • I havent read any of the books, Ive just been watching the TV series and I am half way through Season 3. I hated Sansa in the first season, pitied her in season two and so far in this season, I see her innocence. I think Martin is doing a fine job at “raising” her in the Capitol.

        Thats all the spoilers I can give, ATM.

        • I read the first 3 books years ago. I have to go back and reread them now that there is a possibility the series will be finished in my lifetime. ;)

      • Some of the characters come across slightly differently in the series, but they still mostly parallel the books.
        To Martin’s credit: if you stick with it, then I think your feelings about most of the characters will shift and evolve as the series progresses.

      • My impression is that (unsurprisingly) the book has more time to develop the characters so the ones I feel different about are the secondary characters that I like much more in the book (like Sandor Clegane and Jorah Mormont) and am fairly meh about in the series. No one I can think of that I have actually flip flopped on.

        • Alright. To start, I have to say that I have what is practically an aphasia for names especially when I hear (rather than read) them and I’m listening to the audio books. So in looking up Jorah Mormont’s name it has only just now dawned on me the obvious relation to Jeor Mormont (The Old Bear). Gads I’m an idiot.

  47. Bought the Kindle edition of Slaughterhouse-Five this afternoon, and read through the first few pages. I will definitely record some thoughts for the impromptu mini-palooza episode.

  48. Driving by.

    Had a lot of fun (O was most impressive) over the weekend. Now it’s time for the stuff I’m getting paid for.

    Looks like HBO is hitting early instead of saving for the season finally. Can’t wait to see it.

    • If you see this, Ed – – you should really take Pixie’s suggestions and hit the Pinball Museum. It’s not glamorous at all, but it’s a neat trip back in time. And the guy who runs the place is a Scooby Doo villain come to life.

    • I have it installed in my iMac. I havent really *used* it, per say. Its more of a nuisence, as it is slow to start up my mac every time. I lost patience with it.

      My iMac is old and needs memory upgrade, so Im sure that is part of my issues.

  49. Crap joke for the day:

    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’ He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumb ass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Dawn called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
    Just then our bus arrived….

  50. We finished S1 of Rectify last night and really enjoyed it. It was a very sad, emotional series. Looks like it’ll be around for a 2nd season.

  51. I’m envisioning a new version of rocks, scissors, paper called “Kings,Yotes,Hawks. Yotes beat Hawks, Hawks beat Kings and Kings beat Yotes.

  52. OK, go post on the new Unshow page! This one is done.

    (Someone should bring Zdeno and Sidney with us, though)

    Off to dinner.

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