765 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #226: A Commemorative Plaque

  1. Your crap joke for the day:

    The Mrs swallowed after a blow job for the first time in 5 years last night… I wonder if it’s a sign she’s coming out of her coma!!?

  2. In,, gee wiz what a surprise news, we were watching a show and they showed Randy Bachman’s place in BC, he then started to play Taking Care of Business on a semi-hollow guitar. Turns out hubby doesn’t have one of those. I caught him in the website of one of the local guitar stores checking out prices. *sigh*. I love my hubby dearly but sometimes I just want to throttle the man

  3. Good Morning Pan!
    I’m more of a quiet onlooker, who has an occasional opinion or snarky comment. All of you seem like fantastic people and I wish you a rockin’ Thursday.
    Stay safe, Live & Love.

    DP~

  4. According to my e-mails this morning, apparently the IRS has some of my money and are waiting for me to claim it. I want to know how the hell the IRS has any of my money? I bet they have some of Vanamond’s money too :wink:

  5. Jack Mangans Deadpan #226: A Commemorative Plaque

    Deadpan, now with sound effects!

    Amy Bowen’s Christmas Content call in

    The truth behind the the Twilight Zone’s Terror at 20,000 Feet by Tony Mast

    More from Amy Bowen

    Duel of the Fates, Naughty Holiday Edition

    Edmond Gwenn – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0350324/

    Used Hair and his Christmas beers

    More from The Twilight Zone

    Greasy Comments
    Lo Pan
    Desert Pixie
    Dj Bunny
    Cj
    ditto
    dotto
    Justa J0e
    DJ Bunny
    Vanamonde
    Ed from Texas
    Amy Bowen

    More Christmas content by Amy

    Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

    Closing Music

  6. The problem with it being so cold is my back door freezes shut. So instead of just throwing my garbage out the back, I actually have to put my coat on and walk around the house to the garbage bin.

    *sigh*. I’ll be glad for the weekend when we’re suppose to warm up

  7. Show Notes here, until I have the time and capability to place them in the actual episode post. Thanks Bunny, as always!

    Jack Mangans Deadpan #226: A Commemorative Plaque

    Deadpan, now with sound effects!

    Amy Bowen’s Christmas Content call in

    The truth behind the the Twilight Zone’s Terror at 20,000 Feet by Tony Mast

    More from Amy Bowen

    Duel of the Fates, Naughty Holiday Edition

    Edmond Gwenn – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0350324/

    Used Hair and his Christmas beers

    More from The Twilight Zone

    Greasy Comments
    Lo Pan
    Desert Pixie
    Dj Bunny
    Cj
    ditto
    dotto (dotto?)
    Justa J0e
    DJ Bunny
    Vanamonde
    Ed from Texas
    Amy Bowen

    More Christmas content by Amy

    Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

    Closing Music: Kool Katz – Matt Mango

  8. Ok, on Tuesday I saw War Horse, the cinema was festooned with posters of characters in the upcoming Avengers movie.

    Thing is, I recognised all the characters but a plain looking guy with glasses, who the hell is he in the movie?

  9. So EssBee, just to clarify – – that Deadpan Research skit was written by me; Tony Mast just did the reading (although the WETA joke was his alone).

    I do apologize if it came across in any way that sounded homophobic – – I think/hope you know that would never be my intent. In defense of the skit, I’ve observed quite a few gay men and cougars in flight attendant jobs, as well as on Bravo television programs. The fault lies with me for any offense, however – – not Tony Mast.

    I also blame Jason C.

  10. Cj
    January 19, 2012 at 8:44 am · Reply
    Just wanted to post an update to let you all know that my babysitter woke up last night and is doing fine. Still no knowledge of what the cause is/was.

  11. Hi Everyone! Just peeking in to ask each of you to help me out, if you can — It’s Cancer Kick-Ass Day for a dear, longtime friend of mine. Her Mom is kicking IT today in a ‘radical’ way. Whatever you have in the cosmos to spare, is much appreciated.
    The Big C is lame & needs a good swift kick by the masses.

    Suck It Cancer. Hard.

    Thanks all.

    DP~

  12. EssBee,

    Your apology is not necessary.

    While Jack wrote the jokes (or most of them), I took the time to read them, adapt them and add to or remove from them at will. I made the choice to speak the lines, save the file, edit it and send it to Jack. I’m not going to let Jack take the bullet for it. That’s not fair.

    I hope you found the rest of it amusing (especially the Weta/LotR joke, that one was all mine).

    If anyone needs to apologize, it’s me. I’ve been sitting on that script since October. I’m just glad that Jack didn’t give up on me and pass it along to someone else. :)

  13. CD: Mikkeller Black Hole (Red Wine Aged)

    HOLY stong stout, Batman. Very reminiscent of Mephistopheles by Avery. The wine really stands out and here that aint a bad thing. And at 13.4% ABV its Yippie ki ay Mikkellerfuckers!!!

    *head spins*

  14. I can’t believe there’s a professional writer young enough to have seen Spaceballs before Star Wars.

    I do agree with their #1 choice, though. “Amish Paradise” is still hilarious, every time I hear it. In fact, I can’t listen to Coolio’s version without channeling “Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone.”

  15. BTW, sorry for once more introducing an exploration of a trope in the Deadpan Bar then not returning to it. Busy work sched plus prep for Sunday podcast recording. This week is Supernatural Episode 5 “Bloody Mary” (no spoilers please).

    • Now there’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time…..a long time.

      I can almost remember when I thought my religious devotion to voting each month for my favorite podcasts had some influence on helping people find them.

  16. Good morning, Deadpanites. Have a great day.

    Something tells me I need to find maple syrup… Body must be missing some critical molecule it provides.

  17. There was a Canadian politician once, I don’t remember which one sorry, who was asked about Russia’s closeness to Canada through the north. I don’t remember the exact quote but the general idea was that he felt doubly safe. If Russia ever tried to invade through Canada, the US would be forced to jump to its defense, contrariwise, if the US tried to north through Canada, Russia would then jump to our defense. The reporter then went on to about feeling doubly scared, not doubly relieved.

  18. You know the rest of the world thinks that Canadians are Americans already so why don’t we just become one unified country? Then we could teach those uppity french Canadians to speak proper ‘Merican!

  19. Plus, I hear they have oil up there. Sorry, Canada. This invasion is all about creating jobs. Your elite squads of John Candy’s, Michael J. Fox’s, and Jim Carrey’s don’t scare us.

  20. Well Haywire was a bit strange, almost like someone said lets have an arty action movie

    Bonkers plot, acting pretty bad in places, some nice fight sequences though.

  21. Ugh.. Why do financial companies have to make everything confusing. I’m trying to deposit money into my kids’ college funds and I’m pretty damn smart when it comes to these innernetz things… and this site is hella confusing. grrrr…

  22. I have never been completely sure I understand the concept of irony enough to know it when I see it.. but I just learned all the highlighters my employer uses are manufactured by the blind.

  23. Well, that’s enough silliness from me today. I’m leaving shortly to get my head and neck rubbed. Got to figure out a way to move a snoring kitty from my lap without totally pissing her off

  24. Your crap joke of the day:

    my 1yr old son fell asleep on my lap last night so i quietly took him upstairs an laid him down I then went back down stairs to relax for half an hour….every one on the bus thought I was a right bastard!!

  25. Good Morning Panites! (its mearly morning for those of us who work the dreaded zombie shift). TGIF!
    I was awakened from dreaming about drag car racing by my loveable Tag Team Duo– it seems they were up to some all-day antics in the house…

    Er, maybe it was drag queens with braces.

  26. As the new kid on the block (not NKOTB), do I get a free pass for learning who everyone is?
    I know a little bit about that Jack Mangan- he’s a cool cat fo sho.

    I would love to know the cliffnotes about each of you all too!

    Pixie~

  27. EssBee is single handedly trying to bring down corporate America from within. She’s pretty she she’s on the trail of the famous, big red “Do Not Press” button. (Why they always install one of those is anyones guess)

  28. Bunny, I love moose!!! Have you ever seen one up close? I also like me some hockey and Canadian beer. Canadians are very nice– esp those of the snowbird variety. They drive nice…and s l o w.

  29. I wonder if the Spice Girls were actually Smurfs trying to asimilate into modern human society. There had to have been a Sporty Smurf somewhere in the original tribe. I will admit I don’t remember a Posh Smurf, but wasn’t there a Baby Smurf? Scary Smurf was probably originally a failed Gargamel experiment, kept fed but locked safely away. Ginger Smurf never made an appearance on Saturday morning, but she probably could of given Smurfette good competition in the egg laying .

    Okay… Clearly I need to sign out and call it a night.

  30. Eggcorns

    Eggcorns have been described only recently as a separate phenomenon. The term was coined in 2003 as a result of a discussion on the Language Log website. The name “eggcorn” comes from a discussion about a woman who misheard the word acorn as eggcorn. Such a change isn’t a mondegreen because it doesn’t create a new meaning, and it isn’t a spoonerism (or a malapropism) because the swapped words sound the same—they’re homophones.

    Other examples of eggcorns include coming down the pipe instead of coming down the pike, duck tape instead of duct tape**, and chomping at the bit instead of champing at the bit. Many of the most common eggcorns seem to swap in homophones in familiar phrases, such as H-E-R-E for H-E-A-R in here, here, B-A-I-L-I-N-G for B-A-L-I-N-G in baling wire, and T-O-W instead of T-O-E in toe the line.

    If you think eggcorns are fun, the men who coined the term have written a book called Far From the Madding Gerund.

  31. Morning Pan!

    Apparently NAAM is going on right now. What is NAAM you ask? God know I made the mistake of asking when hubby told me. Without going into the twenty minute explanation I got, simply think of it as the CES of guitars. That’s easier

  32. I think I’ve said it before but, one of the problems with getting up at five AM normally is that seven in the morning is considered sleeping in. I’ll be so glad when the sun starts waking up early too

  33. I love roller skating and today… I’m teaching my daughter. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long. I figure once she’s skilled (I give her 10 minutes before she masters it) I can take them both skating. The little dude has more trouble with balance and stuff… he’s still having trouble staying on his bike. I think I lose 5lbs every weekend running up and down the street with him on that thing.

    I got a bike for Christmas and I REALLY want to be able to go on rides with them, though my bike chain is jacked up and I have no idea how to fix it. I’d like to get everyone’s fixed and ride down to the park and stuff… before the blazes of summer hit.

  34. Crap joke for the evening:

    A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as it comes home, it rushes and fucks all the 150 hens… The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all the 150 hens. The farmer gets tense now. Next day, he finds the cock fucking all the ducks and geese. Later, the farmer finds the cock pale, half dead & vultures circling overhead. Farmer says “you deserve it, u horny little bastard!” The cock opens 1 eye, points up and says “sssh. They’re about to land”.

  35. CD: Monk’s Stout from Brasserie Dupont

    What would happen if a dry stout was brewed in Belgium? This beer. Nice tan head, aroma characteristic of a belgian dark ale with a slight hint of roastiness. The flavor is primarily that of a dry stout’s roastiness, and bitter hops, with just a hint of belgian character. It’s has a refreshing mouthfeel, like I could drink it by the pint.

    I really would like to try an imperial stout version of this beer.

    Oh and for the record this is the same brewery that sets the standard for saison and my favorite saison.

  36. CE: Processed nut packet from my McDonalds McYogurt.

    CL: Deadpan from roughly a year ago; burning through backlog after listening/lurking hiatus.

    Moving today… Deadpan is great for brain amusement while box packing.

  37. Well Pan, we won’t be seeing Underworld this week, hubby isn’t feeling too well :sick: We will see it next weekend instead. However, we are heading out to get a new TV for the bedroom. I think we are also getting a new Blu-Ray. You can get them quite cheap now so we’ll replace the regular old DVD player in the bedroom for a blu-ray. Which begs the question, if hubby is not feeling well enough to see a movie, how is it he’s ok enough to buy electronics? *sigh* One of the mysteries of men I guess *shrug*

  38. Excellent hockey game between Washington and Pittsburgh today, followed by a so far excellent football game. Hoping for the trifecta if the Avs beat the Ducks later.

    /twitterquack

  39. Hi pan

    Football day here in Chicago. Ravens losing = boo :( so close, so close.

    Putting all my backing behind our surrogate city San Francisco. I love NY and can’t really root against them, but San Fran holds a special place in my heart.

    I made a deal with Hugh I would sit through football today if he takes me to see Underworld when our local theatre has 2 for 1 night on Tuesdays.
    Like I had to bribe Hugh to see Kate Beckinsale in tight leather. puh-lease.

  40. !!!!!

    One of my banner ads is on the side bar of Deadpan!! Somewhere along the way my company must buy ad space from Farpoint Media.

    If anyone else sees ads for Williams Sonoma or any of the Pottery Barn on here, those are my ads :)

    • Tried it years back. I really did. Its looks great and you can tell the creators/actors really care about what theyre doing. But in the end I think I like the idea of Phase 2 more that I like Phase 2 itself. Just me tho. I can see why it appeals to so many.

  41. Hi, Pan.

    Roofing repair guy comes to our house tomorrow. I was told that I should clean up the spare bedroom (which I use as an office because it has a desk in it) because he might be working in here, so I did. It sure is nice to have a clean room. :-)

    Bunny, JB: I really needed those laughs from the conversation about monitors above. :-)

    Good night, :mush:

  42. Crap joke for the day:

    After a visit to a whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, so he goes to the Doctors.

    “that’s serious!” says the doctor. “u know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?” “yes.” says the man nervously. “well,” says the Doctor: “you’ve got “brothel sprouts!

  43. Today’s “The More You Know”!

    “Venture Capitalism” is when private investors put money into a corporation in it’s “Toddler Years” to help it grow into a fully mature company.

    “Private Equity” is when a group of investors pool their resources to get a BIG loan and use it to buy out a moderately successful, publicly traded company. Once they are the major shareholders they take the company private and then add the debt of the loan they used to purchase the company to the company’s own balance sheet. Next, they strip out all the really profitable units of the company and sell them off to raise quick cash .. which is used to pay themselves (the owners of the Private Equity Firm) for doing all of this “restructuring” work.

    Left with just the lessor profitable bits of the company and a shinny new mountain of loan debt, the company usually goes bankrupt.
    At this point the Private Equity Firm sails off into the sunset (frequently to banks in the Cayman Islands).

    Private Equity firms used to be more accurately known as “Corporate Raiders” but diligent PR and lobbying efforts have seen them re-branded with the kinder, gentler, less accurately descriptive term “Private Equity”.

    “Venture Capital” and “Private Equity”, there IS a big difference.

    … and that’s “The More You Know!”

  44. For any Song of Ice & Fire fans out there, there’s a smart newish podcast out there called The Boiled Leather Audio Hour. I’m listening to E1 right now and it’s really thoughtful and not geek-mean. The sound is rough, but they’ll work that out. E1 is: “Do the Right Thing: Honor, Morality, and Power in Westeros”

  45. Question – see… when Facebook asks someone for you if you wanna accept their friend request, they should require you fill out a field that says, “How do you know this person?”

    The person must respond in order to send the request. Something like

    “Deadpan” – Yes, I accept your friend request.

    or

    “I randomly friended you because 3 of my friends have you as a friend and I don’t know you and you probably won’t friend me back, but I’m hopeful because I saw your picture and I think you’re hot.” – OMFG! Stop, just stop!! NO NO NO!!!

  46. Well a dull and dreary Tuesday (yah!), and yiur crap joke for the day:

    Female college lecturer reminds her students about exam 2moro.
    “Apart from a death in the family or a nuclear attack Im not taking any excuses 4 not taking the exam.

    “Smartass at the back says “What if Im suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

    Class erupts into laughter.

    When it quietens down she looks at him and says “Then you’ll have to write with your other hand”.

  47. Well the new Underworld film was a bit poo, even KB in the PVC suit coulldn’t save it for me.

    Oh and the 3D was also very poor, the 3D effect was better in the Panasonic TV ad shown before the film.

    • Um … doesn’t that mean she is bi ?
      When you are okay either way and choose pursue one for a period of time, I thought that was considered “bi-sexual”. The period of time for which she pursued one particular partner or another would seem irrelevant.

      To me the whole article seemed to be going the really long way around of saying that it is not unheard of for women to be bi-sexual, sometimes want relationships with men and sometimes not. The thing I DID find interesting was that perhaps this is more common then I thought.

  48. Wait, no youre wrong, Ess. Because I distinctly remember a few months ago over my morning coffee and eggs that “eureka” moment I had when I chose to be strait.

    “My god”, said I, “Ima choose to be strait! So lookout world!”

    SO… so bully on you. N stuff.

  49. I actually do think that for those of us with bi-leanings, there is some “choice” involved. It’s just the small-minded bigots we gotta worry about when talking about it. I think purely physically-speaking, for a person who could go either way, there are some “preferences” that are taken into account outside of the bedroom when we decided how we’re gonna walk the walk.

    That’s my opinion, at least.

    • Agreed its an interesting debate. But pretty much what stands out is “you dont get to define my gayness for me”. Simple. Elegant. And one that people have a real hard time understanding

    • Interesting article, in my opinion, people like Cynthia would more accurately be called bisexual. As an aside though, people seem to get pretty hung up on labels. Everyone is different and complex, you aren’t defined by a word.

  50. You know… many men have frustrated me beyond a certain limit in my life thus making me want to be a lesbian, so goodness knows if I could make such a choice I might have done so. No offense men, but you are brutal and make me cry! Grrr.

    However! I like the men. I like them a lot. Too damn much. All of you with your cuteness and manly scents… What was I saying? Oh oh…

    Now, Cynthia Nixon says she tried both and one way felt better than the other. So I don’t really see her choosing to be gay. I see her choosing what feels best for her. It’s all just twisting of her words at this point. Love is awesome. People should love and love and love! Love is good and beautiful. I’ll never understand all those people who are trying to stop the love.

    People who are mean and full of hate… those people… those are the ones we should rise up against. Smack them and say “be nice!” For they do not know or accept the love.

    I may have had too much caffeine. Sorry.

    • A better ticket options would certainly help. If Mike Smith didn’t have his off days and Doan and Vrbata made more goals like they could, that would be a lot more 1 point games decided in their favor.

    • I agree with both of you guys, Lo and Rhettro. As a diehard Yotesfan, my personal view is that I would see them play anywhere– however; I must conceed to the masses’ point of views. The west valley was the cheapest option and 8 years ago, the Valley expected an explosion of population in the west- Surprise, Buckeye, Laveen, etc… If there where more commerce in the west valley, then people would come; just like those of us who deive to the east side feom weat side…

  51. Oh, what a day. I don’t think I ever managed to get around to a single podcast while at work. Yesterday wasn’t much better and tomorrow doesn’t look promising.

    Though, I suppose it’s better than having plenty of free time to listen to podcasts….

  52. Happy Birthday Jeremy!