Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #138: Garden State Parkway North

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Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #138: Garden State Parkway North

promo – Theme and Variations (http://www.themeandvariationsanthology.com/)

imag1narynumber with the contents of his fridge

Greasy Nipples by:
Vanamonde (first comment of the week)
DJ Bunny
Lejon (Some Guy from Chandler)

The Energizer Bunny has a few words for Paul Maki

Amy Bowen talks about special guest for Questors Effpiem

Jack gives Haiku readings

Johnny Null – Extermination

Justa J0e with music moments of note

Jack Mangan – Nowhere in Jersey is Safe pt. 3

More contents of imag1narynumber’s fridge

The Energizer Bunny continues her thoughts of World Con

Next DeadPan is the start of the Flash in the Pan

Next Deadpanmmmmmm meetup – March? 4th anniversary of Deadpan.

Outro music mashup – The Photon Meters

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

516 thoughts on “Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #138: Garden State Parkway North

  1. Now that I have cough up with Deadpan I like the nipple reading way more.
    I always thought “wow that could be a lot better in context” Now I fondly remember the context and in some cases realize just how bad of a speller I am.

  2. Nomad Scry: I’m glad to hear that your Linux experience has improved. It has become really pretty easy to use in the vast majority of instances. And man is it fast compared to Windows.

    The Mac OS is built up off of BSD. There’s a BSD out there that runs as a LiveCD.

  3. I’m up for a March DP Meet up. Month end doesn’t fall on a weekend at all in March so any time is good for me. Although hubby has report cards the first two weeks so it’ll likely just be me again. But that’s ok, I’m the cuter of the two of us 😉

  4. Thumbing through the Deadpan FB page, I noticed that my flash fiction is in this episode (Thanks Jack!). This is the first thing I’ve written since junior high. I would like some critiques if you please. And I can take constructive criticism.

  5. Reaper is sad. His wife just informed him “My Name is Earl” isn’t going to be on this year.
    Reaper now feels like Grimlock. Me Reaper is a much happier now.

  6. JohnBoze: It was actually a relief we kept running in to dead ends with the stories and it seams like a good idea to finely kill it… can’t seam to squeeze another death reference out of that one… might be beating a dead horse…

  7. I thought “Earl” was a funny concept and the first season had something special about it … then it was as if the producers said “Okay! Now that we’ve made it we no longer have to be creative … let’s replace all the writers with the “Sitcom Script-bot 2000”.

    I don’t know if they DID actually change writers but the show became drastically like all the other “product” that was on the air.

  8. I will mostly miss “Earl” because it was one of the few comedies I could watch with the family. Randy doing something dumb or Earl not having his eyes open for any pictures, for us, never got old; you didn’t have to understand some obscure concept. Most everything out there is hard to watch because we have to stop and explain (we don’t really mind doing that) or stop and tell my son to quit doing something annoying or obnoxious because he is taking something too far. It was a show we normally would pause because we where laughing to hard…

  9. Thanks. That means a lot. Especially as I know you put a lot into your own visuals. My stomach got all knotted up when I saw it came out in this episode.

  10. Okay, I don’t like to bitch about my job, largely because I hate it and I don’t know when I’d stop. However, I just got an e-mail from my boss with a pdf showing how to do some really top-quality work fairly easily. Stuff that would be really great to do. His sole comment was “This looks interesting.”. Yes, it looks very interesting. However, it’s abundantly clear that this REQUIRES equipment that would easily run in excess of $50k. I had to wrangle with him for over a year to get a $10 part. (*censored mumblings*)

    Ah, I feel better now.

  11. Jø – you should craft an EXCITED response to your boss about the pdf and ask if he has already put in the request for funding for the equipment or would like you input on which bits of equipment to get. Then watch him squirm as he has to explain that he didn’t mean you WERE going to be getting this new equipment and has to basically admit that he has given you less then the necessary tools needed to “do the job right”.

  12. Oh and a very late good morning to everyone.

    It’s been a crazy day for me so far. I’m looking forward to some sitting here and staring at the air for the next 15 minutes.

    breathe in

    breathe out

    tick tock tick tock

    I need to listen to the newest Deadpan episode. Must put son down for nap and do just that.

  13. J0e: The female version of Beefcake is Cheesecake. Q.E.D.

    I guess I’m just a gentleman in the traditional sense of the word. You know, the tradition that’ll get me kicked in the balls nowadays.

    Jack Mangan: Hrmph. You and your changing font colors to match the background. Hrmph

    *PSSST* How’d you do that?

    DeejAy! Rain sometimes comes with thunder…Don’t de-frak your harddrive right now, though… Bad juju.

    reaper: I officially cancel you too. I won’t be requiring your services. No offense.

    Wow. I had so many responses… Oh, and Wolf, the whole impale thing, Red Riding-hood reference… sorry.

  14. I usually catch up on the days nipples through Google Reader, so Jack’s nipple was just big and bold. I am so happy that I just came straight here today and got to see a big “empty” nipple first.

  15. We have both the black rat looking squirrels and the cute fuzzy brown squirrels. They seem to hate each other and it’s amusing to watch them battle it out for supremacy. Unfortunately the black ones usually win as there are more of them.

  16. Wow, Jack’s iPod selection is odder than my mp3 collection. That cool beat helped to bring it together. Reminds me of something I heard recently. I’ll have to use Lady J’s memory to tell me what mine isn’t remembering.

  17. Taking the princess to school and then the little dude to his Friday morning play date.

    Then I come home and clean my “house” to get ready for the arrival of the “Brazilian”

  18. Re:Felecia Day in commercials

    She was also part of a Sears campaign that had sales staff in blue shirts, quirkaly solving costumer problems. Seemed awfully “Nerd Herd-ish” to me but I was just glad to see her working!

  19. No Joe, I too will be spending my Friday evening at home. Got a few things DVR’d, the Misses sez she’s cooking a chicken dish. I may have a beer. We’ll see.

  20. we are, JOe. Just a regular night, struggling to stay awake until 9 p.m.

    We’ll probably watch Season 2 of Big Bang Theory on DVD, and last night’s Fringe.

    Wild women, us.

  21. Okay I enjoyed the first episode of the new Fringe, apart from the cheesey voiceover at the beginning..gawd it was like something out of the 70’s.

  22. We are staying in tonight also. Just got back from the video store with 7 movies couldn’t find Flash (AAAAAAA AHHHHH) Gordon though or Zardoz…

  23. We are mostly staying in tonight. Our Brazilian visitors want to go out for Arizona Mexican food, then we are coming back here to watch Star Trek and record LLAP.

  24. Leftover spaghetti is one of my favorite leftovers. I love the little crispy edges.

    nom nom

    (that happens when you reheat by baking it)

    (in case you didn’t know or just thought I was crazy)

  25. Arr, me hearties!

    A couple o’ the applications over on Facebook be sayin’ “It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day!” already, so I s’pose I may as well start the celebratin’ a little early. Yarrr! 😀

  26. JOe, I hear you!! Why didn’t I try a screaming orgasm during Flash? Crap!

    Happy Saturday, DP!

    Sly B and I are officially on vacation. It’s a stay-cation, with some landscaping and R & R planned. I already feel a little more human.

  27. “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” is a fun movie. And, surprisingly enough, it is neither Pixar nor Dreamworks.

    Though, it does harken back to Star Trek: The Motion Picture….but better.

  28. Good Mornin’

    Had a great time recordin’ llap with t’ Brazilians! Today I’m takin’ me daughter t’ see Cloudy With a Chance o’ Meatballs. I do hope it’s better than Star Trek t’ Motion Picture. I’ve already slept last night.

  29. I agree, Borat was 99% drek. I think it’s in a stealth-genre. It’s so stealthy I don’t know what it’s called. A movie that sucks, but talking about it after is vaguely enjoyable. I include Napoleon Dynamite in this class.

  30. JN: Napoleon Dynamite at least didn’t have naked wrestling. I think they are both terrible movies with some (few) really good parts but I could never watch Borat again. Napoleon Dynamite i can at least sit through as long as I have a laptop with me.

  31. I too think Napoleon Dynamite was waay overhyped.
    FWIW – here is my take on ND.

    The formula behind most of the big hit, cult, teen angst films like “Pretty in Pink”, “Sixteen Candles”, “Better of Dead” … is that the nerdy outcast kids struggle for an 60 minutes or so and finally get the best of the popular/jock/cheerleader crowd and end up winning the girl/guy/head cheerleader/star athlete/entire schools admiration. They do this by being smarter/more clever/ more talented and generally, more human.

    So, imagine you actually were the popular/jock/head cheerleader back in High School. Now for some reason or another you are an adult who now produces feature films. You want to try to cash in and make one of those teen angst films for a new generation … but because you were the guy who was shoving all the nerd into their lockers when you were in school … you never really “got” the point of those movies. In fact you probably didn’t really care for them that much because you thought that the REAL hero’s in the movies were always being demonized.
    Anyway, now you are going to make one of those movies but since you never really “got it”, your nerd heroes will win the day but still be portrayed as hopeless, backward retards whose victory was basically a fluke and who might have won the day but will obviously never amount to anything else because they are such LOSERS.
    The result is Napoleon Dynamite. A film made by the guys who were the very jerks in high school that these films usually portrayed as the protagonists.

    But what do I know.

  32. I didn’t get NP. I mean, I UNDERSTOOD it, but I didn’t see the humor.

    We just got home from Borders, where I picked up The Other Lands, Book 2 in the Acacia series by David Anthony Durham. I can’t recommend book 1 enough, and can’t wait to read this one (but have to finish #6 of the Dresden Files first). We were the only ones there not buying the new Dan Brown book. That guy is raking the cash in.

  33. justa J0e: Wow, that was a very insightful, thorough wad of insight.

    I can say that I was very much the class nerd and often waved that flag quite high.

  34. WOOPS.
    In reading back over my post I see I made a big error,

    “A film made by the guys who were the very jerks in high school that these films usually portrayed as the protagonists.”

    A film made by the guys who were the very jerks in high school that these films usually portrayed as the antagonist.

    Man, there goes my grade point average. ;(

  35. Ahoy thar, Deadpan mateys! In a few minutes, I’ll be cookin’ a special piratey dinner in honor o’ Talk Like a Pirate Day: Spam with garlic and onions, crackers and cheese, and fruit salad. (And Underworld Garlic Bread, because I want t’ use up some o’ that thar garlic salt.)

  36. Aye, took my little girl t’ see Cloudy With a Chance o’ Meatballs. It was cute. We verily enjoyed it, gar! I recommend it for fun and laughter and action and maybe e’en a little misty-eyed moments here and thar. Arr

  37. Well the science of DG has always been suspect, but it got extra brownie points for reminding of my fav Gerry Anderson series.

    But VD..ugh, even worse than Twilight.

  38. The galaxy thing is amazing.

    Good quote/foto Jack

    Nomad Scry: That was a great book. Easy read, even for non-math folk. I did a presentation on fractals for school back in the day, including code for a couple different graphic calculators.

  39. JN – I think I picked up Chaos because it was in the library section with the particle physics stuff, which I’ve always loved just because it makes no sense to have named it Charm and Up.

  40. … and then there is “Mad Men”.

    2nd season in a row where this show has kind of bumped along the bottom until it reached mid-season, then … oh my.

    Last night’s show was (comment redacted by the emergency, spoiler prevention brigade).

  41. Good morning, Pan!

    Last night, I watched the last five episodes of the last season of “House” (Season 5). Wow. The closing sequence of the Season 5 finale was beautiful and bittersweet and heartbreaking and perfect. (I won’t go into details because they would also be massive spoilers.) Tonight is the premiere of Season 6, and I absolutely can’t wait!

  42. Good morning Amy and Rhettro too!

    I took the kids to school, picked up some fresh water bottles, and am now having some yogurt and clipping coupons.

    Oh the exciting life I lead. Can you even stand it?

  43. Nomad Scry: I cannot remember how I came across it. Of course, at the time fractals were going to explain everything in the Universe and solve all of our problems. Couldn’t agree more on particle names. It’s nearly as silly as quantum physics.

  44. I like to be an armchair physicist now and again. Going back and learning the calculus my teachers were incapable of teaching me is still on my list of things to do.

  45. An armchair physicist hoots, hollers, and cheers for his/her phavorite physicist. Dr. Hawking would be the Yankees of this league, methinks.

  46. Armchair Hero

    “You wanna talk? you wanna go?
    From your armchair things you know

    Secret plans, conspiracy
    Little people all around

    You curse love, you curse hate
    You curse you life, you curse your face

    Whatever you can be

    If only you could learn
    If only you could learn

    Narrow-vision, that’s the way
    It finally helps you through the day
    Too many reasons to believe
    No time to understand

    The clock is ticking like bomb
    Subversive things that’s going on
    Your only certainty

    If only you could learn

    Victim gravel on your knees
    Victim of your own disease
    Make my day, why don’t ya?
    From your armchair, you’re a hero

    Screaming beauty, suicide
    So cynical, you never tried
    To understand the reasons
    From your armchair you’re a hero”

  47. That’s odd. Wander Radio wouldn’t play from my RSS feed, I had to use that silly little flash player app on the episode’s homepage. Even the direct .mp3 download link didn’t work.

  48. WNDRWolf: Well, I’m already done listening to it. Other podcasts don’t seem to have that issue. Currently listening to The Fitcast. Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

  49. Oooh, Sly B brought me a gift of the Dollhouse DVDs today. Can’t wait to see the unaired episode!

    Looks like tonight will see premiers for Heroes (meh) and The Big Bang Theory (yay).

  50. Hello!

    I wanted to announce that I have received a package from Bunny. It’s warm and might be a little melty inside. I’ve put it in the fridge to re-harden.

    Marinating pork chops for dinner.

    It’s been a productive day.

  51. GACK!!!


    sorry for that un-deadpan outburst but I have just been watching some Zero Punctuation game reviews.

    Also I really HATE that some marketing idiot at TWC has decided that I am interested in anything other than the day’s forecast, first thing in the morning.


  52. I caught about 30 minutes of House while getting geared up for work tonight and it looks like more of the same. I like how they’ve get reinventinteresting without changing the successful formula.

    I’m leaving the typo because I have no idea what the heck that was actually supposed to say before I brainfarted in mid-sentence.

  53. Amy – I see what you did there. Trying to catch me in the tropes trap! Hah!

    🙂 I like House, so while I don’t want it to get stale, I also don’t want it to change to much. So more of the same, including the way that they keep changing the supporting cast, is a good thing.

  54. NS: LOL! 😀 Yep, TVTropes… they’re like quicksand. 🙂

    Yes, tonight was definitely a good thing. Do you want me to spoil you as to what happened at the end of tonight’s episode, or not?

  55. I really enjoyed that one episode where he was a grumpy jerk and his staff had good logical ideas about the bizarre medical dilemma, but House did something unexpected and really dangerous to save the patient.

  56. NS, the Will Decker image is from his merging with Vejur in Star Trek the Motion Picture.

    Morning Pan, fascination continues, I’m dreading the inevitable slip away from that.

  57. I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen everything I’ll need of House. While I think Hugh Laurie and the other players are great actors, the fumbling about with the obscure medical condition of the week formula got old for me.

    For my TV watching time, I’ll take Castle.

  58. EssBee – you’re in for quite a treat with the Dollhouse DVD. Not only does it have the unaired “final” episode, it also has Joss original pilot.

    I must confess, I think Joss’ pilot was a better start to the series. The various “making of” bonus features also provide some great backrground.

    And, of course, season 2 starts Friday.

    I will not squeal….I will not squeal…..

  59. I do tend to do that from time to time. I called in a car accident once from my cell and told the woman that a car hit a fire plug. Probably took at least a solid two minutes to get her to understand what I was saying, since “hydrant” seems to have slipped out of my vocabulary.

  60. All right, then, I’ll talk about last night’s episode. SPOILERS if anyone else hasn’tseen it yet.




    It was very interesting to spend an entire two-hour premiere with an almost entirely brand-new supporting cast except for the one phone call to Wilson. However, the episode ended with House being discharged from the psychiatric hospital (yay!), and the preview for the rest of the season showed him and the whole gang back together at Princeton-Plainsboro, so we do have more of the same to look forward to. Another thought: Although House mentioned during the season premiere that he was no longer having hallucinations, I was very surprised that the episode didn’t actually show him dealing with/getting rid of the imaginary Amber and Kutner who appeared in the Season 5 finale. Perhaps those issues haven’t been completely resolved…? I don’t know, but I can’t wait to see what happens next.

  61. Each remake will have Flash as a different type of sports star. Track, Football, Polo… What’s next? Cricket? Basketball? Baseball…

    I’m looking forward to a Xanadu version of Flash where he’s a Roller Derby champion.

  62. ZOMG, I just saw Clay Aiken as a guest on Paula’s Dean’s show on Food Network.

    If he never spoke, I’d swear he was female. That boy is prettier than me!

  63. Call me a pinko commie, but I wanted House to live happily ever after with the woman with an accent..her family be damned.

    I’ll get my coat.

  64. Mr. Null said:
    “justa J0e: Or the new multi-billion-per spy sats that the US is planning on launching.”

    Which I misread as:
    “justa J0e: Or the new multi-billion-per spy cats that the US is planning on launching.”

  65. Well, now I’m going to be up late again because it’s a fricken’ wootoff! I’m just staring at my computer like it’s going to sell me something ridiculously awesome or something.

  66. I had kinda written off Pee Wee for his child porn charges. . . (really, who cares about his hilarious theater incident?) – but he’s since stated pretty vehemently that he has no sexual interest in children, that he didn’t have kiddy porn.

    Maybe he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

  67. Mreh? I didn’t know anything about that. Searching through Google News, I can find info on the charges in 2001, but nothing about a conviction or deal or anything really.

    No wait, the charge was dropped and he plead to obscenity.

    That’s sad. I’m not sure if I can feel relieved that the best death scene EVAR is untainted. Maybe.


  68. I don’t understand what benefit TI has in cracking down on this. Don’t highly modifiable device generally sell better? Or am I just hanging around with the wrong crowd?

    And it isn’t like the calculators have wifi and could get infected by poisonOSes. ? Poo on TI.

    Go go Casio.

  69. Wow, given the proliferation of laptops and handheld devices that can double as calculators AND run custom software applications wwithout the need of a hack … I’m amazed that TI can still sell enough calculators to warrent manufacturing them.

    Add that to the current economic situation and I’d say TI ought to just be glad that ANYONE is interested in buying there product and should stop bitching about what a small group of their dwindling customer base wants to do with it.

  70. As much as I loved the previous Pee-Wee Herman stuff, I don’t think even Paul Reubens can pull off that character at age 55. Let’s leave Pee-Wee as a great memory instead of one that we’re sad to see beaten into the ground.

    When Reubens was arrested, was Pee-Wee’s Pee-Wee Wee, or Un-Wee? Maybe some things are best left to the unknown.

  71. As I recall, the particulars in Pee Wee’s big porn adventure was that he had a very large, vintage porn collection. We’re talking “turn of the century”, very early 1900’s type stuff. Some of it bought in auction lots from larger collections.
    For reasons that were never clear to me, the local D.A. (the same one who prosecuted him for wanking in a porn theatre maybe ??) raided his home, confiscated the collection and after going through it all – found a nearly, century old book that had re-enactments of the original Greek Olympics. This included pictures of young men, probably teens, wrestling (no, not a euphamism … they were actually wrestling). Of course as we all know, the original Olympiads competed in the nude. Those whacky Greeks!.

    This is probably why the “child pornography” charges against him were eventually dropped. There was very little content in his collection that included under aged people and given that all those involved in making the images had been dead for quite some time it was going to be very difficult to prove the ages of the boys in those wrestling scenes. There was also a good chance that the defense could make an argument that the vintage and rarity of this stuff could actually be classified it as art.

    Sooooo, while Paul Reubens is clearly not a “normal” character (and quite possibly IS a visitor from another planet who has been stranded here) … if it makes you feel any better about him, the charges against him did not involve him having skanky pictures of kids.

  72. … and yet half the time, I can’t recall my own phone number!

    I think the details stuck with me because;
    (a) I liked his Pee Wee characture a lot and was really disappointed in Reubens’ penchant for self destruction.

    (b) The very “under reported” outcome of that case which really seemed to have the stench of an over zealous District attorney who was “out to get” Reubens.

  73. Nomad Scry: Thanks for the laugh. Made for a great visual.

    Doesn’t TI have a long and glorious history of shooting themselves in the foot? F’ ’em.

  74. Dan and I have always enjoyed the Pee Wee stuff, but after seeing him on Leno last night, I have to agree with UsedHair. Reubens looks old. They had to keep pulling the camera back. The voice is still there, but his responses were clearly setup and seemed canned.

    I don’t know if I’m disappointed or just a little demystified. I’ll always love his movies… but….

    “But what? Everyone I know has a big but. C’mon Simone, let’s talk about your big but.”

  75. Wolf,

    I’m gonna celebrate the all that junk inside my trunk…

    What you gon’ do with all that junk?
    All that junk inside your trunk?
    I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
    Get you love drunk off my hump.
    My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
    My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps.

  76. I’m very much looking forward to the movie. I’ll have to consume the graphic novel first. It’ll help me be more critical towards the film.

  77. It does seem like Pee Wee is constantly struggling to repair his image.
    It’s like he’s unraveling a sweater, but someone keeps knitting. . . a-ha-hand knitting. . . a-ha-hand knitting. . . a-ha-hand knitting. . .

  78. After the Leno show Dan says to me, “It’ll probably take us a while to get Big Top Pee Wee from Netflix now… So I showed him our e-mail box:

    “Big Top Pee-Wee

    Sent to: Daniel

    Arriving on or around: Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009”

    Because I’m faster than fast! (I’d put it at the top of the queue earlier this week like I’m psychic or something!)

  79. That reminds me. We really need to get the new episode online. We recorded this weekend, but this week has been so crazy busy, it’s still just sitting in the can waiting to be posted.

  80. I’m talking to this person and I can’t help feeling there is a door that we both want to walk through, but can’t admit to the other person that we want to walk through that door.

    …and on that load of old cobblers I’ll say night pan.

  81. I like the idea that the ultimate doomsday machine is actually a doomsday deterrent. My ancient survival instincts tell me something is fishy about the article though, and I tend to think it is more likely that the blueprints got drawn out and then the project was forgotten. That’s why no one knows about it.

    Or it’s just a bunch of scifi goodness.

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