656 thoughts on “Jack Mangan's Deadpan #109: Crapstorm

  1. Ooooooh new DP episode, I’m keeping my fingers crossed my 3G connection is stable enough to listen.

    Morning Pan, today is sniffle day…

  2. Okay, wp didn’t like the gutenberg link. So, anyway, The Dodge Club is now live.

    If you’re in the mood for a great funny read, romance and adventure, about Americans getting into various messes in Europe, then you’ve found it with De Mille.

    He’s become one of my favourite writers. I read the book three times to proof it, and I’d still read it again.

    Comments on the book or its artwork could get us to 400 😛

  3. You need to broaden your base, Van. You don’t fight people who hate you, you fight people who are cruel to other people.

    Of course, those twits will end up hating you, but that’s a win.

  4. Linked! Wasn’t sure between “Friend” and “Colleague” (A bit of collaboration here and there, after all). So I just went with that we had both attended the NME…

  5. “Friend” is just the easiest on LinkedIn, whether you know the person or not. Thanks JB, and everyone else who’s linked or sent messages today. And thanks for the well-wishes. I’m not crying for sympathy, just trying to network and look strong for potential employers.

  6. Hello Deadpan! Been forever since I’ve posted, usually just too dang busy at work these days. Sorry to hear about the crapstorms all over. Thankfully my wife and I have avoided them so far in this economy. Good luck to all!!

  7. Well, he did make some classics of American cinema, like “The Ten Commandments”. . . . oh, not that De Mille? 😛

    Marlo’s Gutenberg link is free, btw. (He was great in Police Academy).

  8. Today’s useless tip:

    When heating milk in a microwave (for making a cup of hot chocolate) in an open top glass container don’t heat for 4 minutes at 800 watts. Unless of course you like cleaning the inside of microwave ovens…

  9. You just know, that there is somebody out there, who gets turned on by cleaning the inside of microwave ovens.

    Scrub, scrub, scrub…

    So although I agree the main character in The Mentalist is not very likable, I’ve been enjoying the series so far.

  10. Crap joke:

    I’ve never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

    The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

    I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

    I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

    Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

    I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

    Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

  11. Yay! Van gets post #100!

    Happy Halloween, Deadpan! It’s overcast here, and I’m off to co-lead a Halloween storytime at a local health clinic. I’m dressed as a pirate; any other US Deadpanites dressing up today?

  12. RE:Diebold – Makes the computerized voting systems. Well documented how easily and transparently they can be hacked. Documented cases from last election of the machines swallowing votes or reporting more vites for Bush then there were voters registered to have used the machine. CEO of company is big Bush/ Republican supporter who said they would deliver the election to Bush Co. although it was NOT said in direct connection to his voting machines.

  13. Trailing so far back in the polls, a definative McCain victory would look too suspicious so the McCain camp start laying ground work for a Diebold win last week.
    They marched out talking points about a psychological disorder whereby WHITE voters might SAY they supported Obama but when they had the ballot in front of them they wouldn’t BE ABLE to actually vote for him.

  14. … also this morning on CNBC they keep talking about a NEW poll showing that 14% of polled voters say they are STILL undecided.

    So right there is the license to allow Diebold to change the votes totals by 14% and claim it was a sweep of the undecideds.

    Not saying it WILL happen. I am saying there would be no way to prove otherwise if it does.

  15. Howdy, Deadpan! Hope everyone is doing okay for a Friday.

    Jack, thanks for sharing what’s up with you on pod this week. Thanks too for the well wishes, as I’m one of the other Deadpanites under a shitcloud right now. Me = starting to get it together.

  16. No dress up for me. But, after trick or treating with the kids, they’re off to spend the night with my sister-in-law because my nephew’s birthday is actually today.

    Which means – date night for me and momma! Definitely falls into the treat category.

  17. So today was a “birthdays free lunch” at work. Apparently at this new company, each month on the last day they have free lunch for all employees in honor of all the birthdays in that month.

    I was expecting cold cuts and rolls or something, but they had it catered in by a local restaurant. Fried chicken, carrots, mashed potatoes, salad, rolls, and cake. Amazing, at least after working for the pennypinchers at the last job…

  18. Just ‘cuz I don’t think anyone has mentioned it, Target Corp has acquired the rights to Domokun in America, and is heavily using the Domokun in the Halloween season.


    And it seems like only yesterday (actually was 2000 or so) when I first encountered the Domokun in the “Everytime you masturbate” internet meme…

  19. no offense to a certain Ed from the great state of Texas, but MAN its sure good to be home again 🙂

    Houston is a damn nice city though. Its not Chicago, but it was nice. Yes, we are 100% biased. Although the trip was so hectic we need to go on a vacation now to get over it.

    Oh! We got tickets to the big Obama bash here in Chi-town for election night! We are very very excited! Although we ain’t standing out there in the cold waiting all night. We’ll head out to the rally if we are sure Obama is winning. We only want to go is its to see an acceptance speech.

    How is everyone else?

  20. On topic for Halloween!

    Been watching bits of all these “Horror” films that have been playing on the SciFI channel this month and have been surprised at not just the bad acting, bad dialogged and completely un-original plot-lines … but at the complete lack of originality in how victims are dispatched.

    SO …. give us your lists –

    – Scariest film.
    – Goriest film.
    – Horror film that was most like a GOOD film only scary.
    – Most original death scene.
    – Other

  21. Scariest film:

    Can’t remember it’s name, but it’s a short film about a man getting trapped in a phone booth…at the end he’s dumped into a warehouse full of dead people trapped in phone booths.

  22. – Horror film that was most like a GOOD film only scary.

    Alien – good scifi/horror

    Although if anybody thinks that doesn’t qualify it can pass.

  23. Other (or scariest film as a kid):

    The Norliss Tapes

    The zombie husband had green eyes, at the time I had a green light bulb (I slept with the light on from time to time), this was not a good idea for a peaceful nights sleep.

  24. I don’t really see many horror movies. I mean, I saw a bunch growing up, but I don’t know if I’ve seen enough to rank any “best”.

    That said, I’ll go with “Shaun of the Dead” for comedic horror.

    Oh, and nothing beats “Night of the Lepus” starring Janet Leigh and DeForest Kelley for cheesey horror. Killer rabbits FTW!

  25. Van-

    I didn’t like the Carpenter take on that. I was a big fan of the original novel “Vampire$” by John Steakley. Not that that enters into the gore factor, but I’m just sayin’

  26. I have of course knocked on wood, but…

    I’m over the hump of the backlog here at work for the time being. It took about 15hrs of OT to do it, of course. No, 20, actually, 15 by me and 5 by a cow orker. Now I get a day where things a re a little looser schedule, a free lunch, and some quality Deadpan…

  27. I recall seeing some of “Videodrome” on the neighbor’s HBO back when I was… Hmm, couldn’t have been much older than 9 or 10…

    That was a bit disturbing at the time…

  28. This was way back in the day, back when you got HBO by mounting a special antenna on the side of your house. We never did, and had to wait until the city of Saint Paul fought out a CableTV contract with a provider they could accept in 1986 to get cable…

  29. Crap movie overall – but the scene in the original Salem’s Lot where the kid’s vampire friend was scratching on his bedroom window….. yeah, slept with the lights on after that one.

    I think Shaun of the Dead, Army of Darkness, and Young Frankenstein are the funniest in the genre. Evil Dead 2 deserves an honorable mention.

    I’d also recommend The Devil’s Backbone and Pan’s Labyrinth for quality movies with horror elements.

  30. Dang, was there a hottie sighting? Got today on account of my four day work week. At least the misses was home so lunch was pretty eventful.

  31. Hmm, on the slightly more negative side of working here, I just heard they laid off 2 people today here, and others at other branches across the country. 100% of the layoffs were people who came over to the new company from my old one…

  32. You know the whole “multiple universes splitting and splitting and splitting (or perhaps forking would be the better description” as always struck me as a bit disrespectful of conservation of mass/energy.

  33. The kids are out with Teresa treat or treating. I’m manning the house, dishing out candy to the kiddies. I’ve elected to reinstall F.E.A.R. on my PC and play during the interum. 🙂

  34. Head still itches.

    I’m not much for scary movies, but the scariest thing I’ve ever read was one by Raymond E. Feist.

    — Had to go look up the title. Faerie Tale. The synopsis sounds rather trite, but I kept having to shake the feeling that it was too plausible to be just a story.

  35. So after playing the demo of the new Tomb Raider game that is coming out soon, my thoughts were:

    It’s very pretty.

    Karate kicking a Tiger is just WRONG.

    I will be buying it.

  36. St. Olav’s Gate_Tom Russell

    Drinking black market vodka in the back of the Scotsman’s saloon
    Then it’s red meat and whiskey like a coyote drunk on the moon
    Outside in Oslo the buskers’ all sing the same tune
    And it’s Waltzin’ Matilda while the bagpipes play old Clare de Lune

    Here’s to the lady you love and don’t see again
    The night is warm whiskey… the mornin’s a cold bitter wind
    The blue eyed madonna leaves town while the drunken man waits
    Standing alone in the shadows of St. Olav’s Gate

    She was a lady, she came down from Bergen she said
    She spoke little English, they laughed and drank whiskey instead
    In the mornin’ he found it… a rose with a note on his plate
    It said, meet me at midnight on the corner of St. Olav’s Gate

    Here’s to the lady you love and don’t see again
    The night is warm whiskey… the mornin’s a cold bitter wind
    The blue eyed madonna leaves town while the drunken man waits
    Standing alone in the shadows of St. Olav’s Gate

  37. Early good morning, Deadpan!

    We’re heading off to visit my parents for the weekend today – it’ll be a short trip, more driving than visiting, really. We have a large load of firewood (from our recently fallen tree) for my dad.

    Have a wonderful weekend, all y’all! Here’s hoping that marlo is doing very well.

  38. And the most pointless infodump award goes to:

    Episode 4 of The Eleventh Hour ( US version)

    Oh and as for Essbee and her firewood:

    I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok…

  39. Have a safe trip Essbee. Hmmmm… a girl with her own wood. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

    Jack – sorry man … but we TRIED to get you to go trick-or-treating with us! How many Halloweens in a row now, have you spent all night waiting in a pumpkin patch?

    Don’t frett though, I’ll be happy to share my loot with you. My bag is really heavy. Let’s take a look and see what … oh rats, just rocks AGAIN!

  40. Once again, J0e and I have the same joke in mind. . . . “I got a rock”

    Every year, I say that my Halloween costume is going to be a ghost under a sheet with about 20 holes in it (a la Charlie Brown).

    Sorry for the Charlie Brown-iness. But thanks for the positives. You guys are awesome friends – and NEVER disappointments. I hope everyone had a fun Halloween.

    OK, I gotta leave for Podcamp! My panel-thingy is in 2 hours.

  41. I’m to report to the hospital at 7am on Monday. If nothing goes horribly ugly during surgery, I’m supposed to be out by late afternoon.

    In another move of ensuring confidence, they keep giving me contradictory medication instructions :/

  42. Okay been playing the Mirror’s Edge demo.

    Cool As Fuck

    However the first person view makes unarmed combat a bit difficult.

    So many games, so little time…

  43. Look at this, so much achieving going on around the Panland here. Surgeries, novelizations, trick or treats and silly walks.

    Most excellent. Count me in also for hoping Jack took a recorder with him to the Podtaint panel.

  44. Yo. Apparently my panel was ustreamed and recorded today. Probably the same will happen for tomorrow’s Podtaint panel. Check the PodcampAZ.com site – – – I also did an impromptu half hour live on microphones with Dan & CJ, which I assume was recorded. . . .? I’ll try to let you know if I learn anything else about any of this.

    But – there’s other news around here. WTG Amy – we’re all rooting for you. I hope we get another update, like we did the last 2 years. And I guess ou’ll be too busy for another Questors, huh?

    Marlo – while contradictory advice would irk me too, these people ARE professionals. . . they should answer reasonable questions. Best wishes for Monday. Please do drop a note, as soon as you feel able. Everybody here is pulling for you.

  45. Morning Pan, the comment count is going well this week though.

    Can’t seem to see a link to the recording on the PodcampAZ site, just the ustream window, but could be missing something.

  46. Good luck Marlo

    I was amazed the first time Hugh had major surgery how quickly they sent him home.
    But really, as much as people complain about being sent home so soon, it is nice to recoop at home. Nothing sucks the joy of life out of you more than a hospital.

    Its amazing how much quicker you recover in the comfort of home

  47. Hugh sez: I always get conflicting info on my meds, but I just follow what the doctor told me when he prescribed them. If you listen to nurses, or read bottles it can get confusing.

    and I’m sure you figured this out already but DONT look anything up online. The internet is the absolute worst place to get medical advice. From making it sound like you are going to drop dead any minute to just confusing things.
    I’ve made the internet searching mistake more times than I care to admit when panicking about Hugh’s medical things.

    Hugh sez: but there have been a few good things we found online

    true. For our situation we did find a couple really good resources, just to get an overall idea of things. A couple really good informational sites.

  48. Oh! I started to load some of my Houston photos on our flickr.

    Methinks some of them came out cool

    Hugh sez: You need Ed to tell you whats what

    LOL. Yeah, I was saying that.

    Ed, you have to look through my photos of the downtown buildings and tell me which building is what 🙂

  49. Morning TSHs,

    you know you get into a routine, you think you’ve found the right way to…well if not happiness at least contentment at how your life is going. Then you encounter somebody who makes you think you’ve been fooling yourself, who makes you wish you could be different. But routine traps you, makes you are so averse to risk that instead of taking that first little step to try to get to know somebody (even though rejection is the probable outcome), you end up doing nothing.

    I grasp the dice and throw…

  50. You know, the problem with downtown Houston is the building names keep changing when some new owner takes over. When I used to work downtown, the building that I was in changed names twice.

    Does that happen in other cities?

    Although, for the long time locals, even though the official name changes, the original is often what we refer to them by anyway.

  51. Jack: Thanks! “Way to go” to you, too, for the panels! I wish I were there.

    Oh, yes. The Deadpan will be getting an Earbuds segment covering my choices of noveling background music for this year, as well as an excerpt from the novel after the event is over.

    I refuse to let Questors podfade before it’s even halfway finished! I plan to spend a little bit of today moving forward on that front.

    TSH: Thank you!

  52. Van – I think you should take the chance. What do you have to lose? You get rejected and your life goes on as before. Or, it leads to something great in your life. But at least you tried it. At least you will know. Its better than not knowing and regretting not trying.

    Some of the best things in my life came to me because I took a chance on something. Even the things I took a chance on that ended badly, i learned so much about myself.

    Complacency is the worst thing anyone can do to themselves.

  53. speaking of taking chances.

    Hugh and I are celebrating our 15 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. I would say that was a chance we both took that worked out well for us. 🙂

    So on that note, I was just informed we are going out of town until election day

    All you Americans out there, please make sure you vote Tuesday

  54. Interesting article about the rise of fan fiction and comic book culture:


    I loved the quote from the creator of Wonderwoman, who claimed WW:

    “satisfies the subconscious, elaborately disguised desire of males to be mastered by a woman who loves them”


  55. You can find part of Jack’s talk at:


    Click on the bottom left window of the podcampaz’s videoclips.

  56. By request, I have completed a mix tape for the spousal unit to pace around to in the hospital. Gut ripping fear has a seven hour soundtrack. 😛 Now I have to teach the use of my music player…

  57. I hope there’s no Bowie on the tape for your hubby, MarloDianne 🙂

    So – I don’t think it was streamed or anything, but the podtaint panel seemed to make a little bit of an impact at Podcamp. The discussion was really lively. . . I stood quietly for a lot of long stretches while the attendees talked. It was cool.

    The rest of the day was pretty cool. Made some good connections.

  58. TSH: Thanks. Early in, I began making the split of medical advice into has a clue / doesn’t have a clue. When it came to pre-op instruction, I figure the surgical team crushes the opinion of the guys who do paperwork–and can’t do the paperwork right. 😛

  59. Oh, and to TSH: Congrats. I’ve been with the spousal unit 17 years, and I still get excited and love every minute we spend together, and feel sad every minute when we’re apart. Hope it’s the same for you.

  60. Jack, don’t worry. From the time I first touched a keyboard, I’ve been teased that not even death could keep me from the computer.

    They won’t let me have it in the hospital though, so if I don’t check in, just assume things went kind of ka-ka and I’m still at the hospital.

  61. The host is from Florida, so maybe not unexpected.

    But why do immigrant in these stories never have old wounds from fighting right wing corrupt governments or tyrants?

    Oh yeah, the US supports those…

  62. I’ll sure be happy when I can turn on CNBC in the morning and once again get FINANCIAL news.
    It has completely degraded into non-stop political infomercials for those wishing to desperately fling there BS.


  63. BTW – the History channel was doing a review of all of the past U.S. Presidents this weekend. I saw up through Jackson. I don’t know whether to be relieved or depressed that the current level of political BS is actual a long standing American tradition.

  64. Hi Cj!
    Welcome to the “Podtaint free” zone.

    Whether that means “there is no podtaint here” or that “we are giving it out at no charge to you” is strictly up to personal interpretation. Actual mileage may vary and some settling may occur during shipping. Professional driver on a closed course. Simulated picture. Action figures sold separately.

  65. So, would the “Jack Mangan” figure be considered an “Action” figure or a “Collectable Characture” ?
    I mean, I know it would come with “Kung Fu Grip” but is “Deadpan” an action?

  66. Morning all. To echo what ditto said, good luck Marlo, concratz Hotties and welcome aboard CJ. May any taint you see on the Deadpan board be of the non-Pod variety.

  67. Wow. Thanks for the welcomes. Yes, I’ve seen more than my fair share of taint in this world although I don’t entirely know how much would really be my “fair share”, but I doubt I’ll find any here. I’d like to see the board make it’s goal of 400 and then, I think I’ll stick around. I’m enjoying myself here.

  68. Cj – CP = “currently playing”
    CPIM (pronounced “See Pim”) = “currently playing in my mind”
    WordPress – “fucktardbot”
    TSH = “The Smarty Hotties”
    ditto = “doing intersting things to otters”

  69. Actually, that’s the super grim part. I don’t have what they thought I had. Instead, I have something they ruled out in their differential almost at the beginning.

    So they stitched me up and sent me home, and I’m going to have to wait six more months, still in agony, for another crack at surgery.

    Yes, I’m serious.

  70. That is indeed grim news MD, fingers crossed you won’t have to wait six months.

    To give you an idea how bad old people can get treated in the UK, my father ispassing kidney stones and all they are giving him for the pain is paracetmol.

    Don’t get old DPers…at least not in the UK.

  71. … and I have been dirceted to issue the following disclaimer …

    Management would like me to point out that nothing interesting has actually been done too the otters … for quite some time now.
    In fact they are quite bored and have logged several complaints about this.

    Thank you.

  72. Despite the ongoing crap storms that have been raging these last few weeks there have been some bright spots.

    1. On this weekend’s Mythbusters’ episode, Kari was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt.

    2. AC/DC’s new album beat out High School Musical for the number one album.

    3. My busty bank teller was wearing a v-neck today. 🙂

    4. Learned how to play the guitar part to “Breaking the Law” on Saturday.

  73. Ask – The Smiths

    Shyness is nice and
    Shyness can stop you
    From doing all the things in life
    You’d like to

    Shyness is nice and
    Shyness can stop you
    From doing all the things in life
    You’d like to

    So, if there’s something you’d like to try
    If there’s something you’d like to try
    Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

    Coyness is nice, and
    Coyness can stop you
    From saying all the things in
    Life you’d like to

    So, if there’s something you’d like to try
    If there’s something you’d like to try
    Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

    Spending warm Summer days indoors
    Writing frightening verse
    To a BUCKTOOTHED girl in Luxembourg

    Ask me, ask me, ask me
    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Because if it’s not Love
    Then it’s the bomb, the bomb, the bomb,
    the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
    That will bring us together

    Nature is a language – can’t you read ?
    Nature is a language – can’t you read ?

    So, ask me, ask me, ask me,
    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Because if it’s not Love
    Then it’s the bomb, the bomb, the bomb,
    the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
    That will bring us together

    If it’s not Love
    Then it’s the bomb
    Then it’s the bomb
    That will bring us together

    So, ask me, ask me, ask me,
    Ask me, ask me, ask me
    Oh, la…

  74. Stick this in Ithoughthewasdeadandgoodriddance category. According to the latest Ansible, John Norman is plugging his latest Gor book with the tagline:

    ‘What man, in his deepest heart, does not want to own a female, to have her for his own, utterly, as a devoted, passionate, vulnerable, mastered slave, and what woman, in her deepest heart, does not want to be so intensely desired, so unqualifiedly and fiercely desired, that nothing less than her absolute ownership will satisfy a male, her master?’

    Words fail me…

  75. Thanks so much for posting the link, Cj!

    Currently: Starting to work on my weekly family update email. Then: writing and an early bedtime. It’s going to be a very long, very full day tomorrow.

  76. Thanks, EssBee – We were incredible lucky to have so many great guests sit at the mic! I also agree that Jack looked fabulous.

    That red backdrop made all the photos I took come out with red-eye which was annoying, but my 2004 copy of Paint Shop Pro 9 is fixing everyone up nice. I should get some new software.

  77. I was just joking primadonna-like about my insecurities. (but thanks, EssBee —- and CJ)

    Thanks so much for posting the video, CJ! You guys were such a major part of the Podcamp weekend.

  78. I played the Call of Duty: World at War beta last night on a private server. It looks like a good step up from COD4. You can tell that it’s the same game engine, but the whole atmosphere is completely different.

    I’m looking forward to picking up the full version.

  79. Well Apart from Mirror’s Edge, the Prince of Persia, and Tomb Raider Underworld…Gears of War 2 is looking nice.

    My credit card is giving me a frightened look.

    Right Pan, I won’t get into US politics, so I’m off to see the new Bond flick.

  80. I’m back from my polling place (which, to my amazement, had no line when I was there) and enjoying my free cup of Starbucks coffee. Starbucks decided to give free tall (=small) cups of coffee to everyone who came into their stores today and said they voted. They announced this via Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/5k9nbp

    I’m so glad I got to vote! 🙂

  81. Last night, I had the most refreshing call from a political campaign. As usual, it was recorded. But, for once, the candidate said what he was going to try and achieve in office and did so without criticizing or slamming any of his opponents. That was very nice for a change.

  82. That is refreshing ditto.
    I never let them get that far. I don’t care who they are or who they support.
    I am on the “Do Not Call” list and if they don’t care enough to honor that then they don’t get my time. grrrrrrrr.

  83. Just thought I’d share with all of you, my new friends, that today is the first day in my life that I’m voting. It’s a pretty big deal for me. I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to it or not.

  84. Congrats, Cj!

    Joe: There are several exceptions to the “Do Not Call” list, one of which is for political calls. I almost always hang up immediately for these calls. For some reason, the tone on the call last night was different so I decided to see how long I could last without getting annoyed. It was a surprising experiment. 🙂

  85. I’m off and going to the polls now.
    *steps onto the Deadpan Soapbox*
    I go with a great deal of skepticism about the “value” of my vote but I go with the determination of participating.
    I blame the bad behavior of our government not on the rapscallions in office but on the citizens who allow them carte blanch to behave that way.
    By taking part, I feel like I have at least made an attempt to be part of the solution.
    *relinquishes the soap box to others*

  86. Hmmm… Does this soap box contain phosfers to make my whites really bright, or is it an enviromental brand that good for nature, but leaves you with a slight yellowish tinge?

  87. ditto – I had a politicrit tell me that once.

    Caller– “Well sir, political calls are excused from that list.”
    Me – “So what you are telling me is that, even though I have made it VERY clear that I do not wish to recieve these sorts of calls … you are going to use a loophole to rudely IGNORE my request and call me anyway to ask me for a favor.”
    Caller – … (pause, stammer) er, well sir we don’t actually look at that list so we wouldn’t know you are on it.”
    Me – So you ARE aware that there is a list available to you of the people who would rather not be pestered like this … but because no one is FORCING you to do the polite thing and respect other human being’s wishes you didn’t even bother to reference it. That’s really nice. Now what is it you wanted to ask me?”
    Caller -” um, well … thanks for your time. “

  88. … aaaaaand I’m back.

    I live about a 7 minute drive from my polling place. There were about a dozen people there voting and about 5 of us going through the multiple check-in/show your ID proceedure.

    The optical scanner said I was voter #1232 for the day. I remarked at the pleasant lack of a line and a poll worker told me I had fallen between the before work rush and the Lunch rush.

    Yea to be me.

    That’s the election report from justaJ0e land. Hmmmm. I guess that makes me Joe the justa.

  89. This happens at other sporting events, doesn’t it?


  90. I think Motorhead has 1 other good song, aside from A of S:


    I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
    My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
    Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
    Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
    Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
    My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
    I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
    I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
    I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
    And still you play the sycophant and revel in you pain
    And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
    I am the politician, and I decide your fate
    I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
    I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
    I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
    I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
    Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
    For I am Mars, the god of war, and I will cut you down.

  91. BTW:
    The stock market is UP over 1000 points in the last 5 days.
    While NOT an endorsement of an Obama win, it clearly demonstrates that for all the blustering about how Obama would be bad for Wall Street … Wall Street clearly doesn’t really care. Investors just want this election nonsense over with!

    Something to be ready for though … when the market goes up this fast this quickly, stockholders like to lock in their profits. Once that starts the market starts to drop and everyone trys to sell to hang on to their gains.
    So, be ready for a sell off and be ready for the pundants to incorrectly blame it on the outcome of the election – which ever way it goes.

  92. Sorry Jack. I haven’t signed up for that one. Went to the site but just didn’t have time to sign up and fill it out.

    Kind of funny but the last “social networking” site I really participated in was when MySpace was all the rage. Then it was twitter but I procrastenated long enough that no one was talking about twitter, instead it was “Facebook”. Now it is “linkedin”.
    In the back of my mind I’ve been thinking that if I count to 10 “linkedin” will to become passe’ before I could even get the “about me” filled out.

    On the bright side, a reference from me would likely only get you hard time in the poky.

  93. “Hard time in the Poky” – isn’t that the title of a porno?

    My meh views on the social media fads and trendy toys is well-documented, but LinkedIn is actually used by employers, which is the only reason I’ve been pushing that one of late.
    No worries, J0e. 🙂

  94. “Hard time in the Poky” – isn’t that the title of a porno?

    Please! It was an art film.
    It had real social implications … and this incredibly hung guy named Art.

  95. I just got this in the email.
    I hear people talk about maybe, Americans DO believe Barack Obama can bring change, and that Barack Obama as President will bring change about in America.


    Americans (And news commentators) do not need to believe and be discussing that! What they NEED to doing in voting for Barack Obama is ackowledging the convicting and revealing truth he has been speaking for the last two years – and continue to let it hold up a mirror. And then – as a SIGN of this successful penetration into their own perspectives and hearts, they must cast their vote – as a SIGN of responsive ACTION. This vote is the BEGINNING step of the American people who have been hearing and watching Obama’s leadership. Their vote is a RESPONSE of change. And an answer to the true call going out, TO change. Obama is astute in this. He is calling people not to believe that HE is change, but that WE must change, because of all the things he has been saying. He is inviting America to change. And he will lead. But only will he lead successfully of Americans are casting their vote for him tonight as a RESPONSE to his call to individual leadership of each citizen (Brought to life by the hope, and confidence that is in his message), by CHOOSING change. To dare believe that change into something else could be something positive that we don’t see yet fully.

    If that is their cry, cementing the foundation through a decisive action – namely their vote: if people are taking the leap to jump OUT of the gate, OFF of the couch, AWAY from the screen, UP towards something that will not be grasped unless all is given to get there. If Obama’s persistant stand in the day of evil has given them strength to live TO change – and not just to let others “Do” change for them – then this election is a success. But only then.

    This will be our election day victory. Not to have elected Barack Obama as a righteous or true man to the presidency. But to have elected a VAST vast number of the minds and hearts of people with him. To have THEM
    change, rather than one man BRING change.

  96. As I watch this election coverage … I suddenly remembered that in 2004, Bush and the Republicans actually lost the popular vote. They won the electoral votes in FLA by just a few hundred votes.
    So if the Dems do win tonight this really shouldn’t be that big a surprise. It’s not like the whole country suddenly turned on the Republicans.
    It really just means that the Republicans lost some support over the last 4 years and given the endless war and sinking economy … that should be that hard to imagine.

  97. Can I take a rare “un-cynical” jaj moment and hope that this may be this generations “moon landing”. Here is hoping that this won’t be politics as usual but instead will be a turning point in a country that has arguably been in decline.

    For tonight I will allow myself to believe this.
    Congratulations to all of us.

  98. Well, we’ve paid with cash and thrown away the receipt. Now we get to spend the next four years finding out just what we’ve paid for.

    While it’s truly a sad day for the nation (actually, it was pretty much going to be sad either way), we’ve seen worse and I must remain optimistic that we’ll survive this as well.

  99. Agreed, ditto and JaJ.

    (Sorry Ed) I think there’s hope now for a reversal of trends and improvement in the next 4 years.

    I think the hope wouldn’t have been there with a McCain win.

    And best of all – No more bush!!! (in 2 months)

  100. It’s finally sinking in that this is really happening. I actually started to cry a little bit, because I was so happy. I haven’t felt this hopeful about the world in general since before 9/11/01. That day, and this moment, are the two times in my life when I’ve realized that I was alive to experience a moment when History was made. Needless to say, this time feels much better.

  101. ^ EssBee got post #500! Hooray!

    You know, with Election Night being part of this week, we probably could have hit the goal of 400 comments without needing an alphabet game. Oh, well, 20/20 hindsight and all that.

  102. Two things I’m still watching (but am probably hitting the hay and catching up early tomorrow):

    – Proposition 8 in California, which would undo gay marriage in that state looks like it will pass.

    – Amendment 46 in Colorado, which will roll back affirmative action in my state.

    G’night, friends.

  103. I’ve never been so involved or interested in anything like this election so other than being an emotional basketcase, I’m just excited to see what happens next.

  104. Hey Ed.
    I know it’s not much solace, but even if Obama did turn out to be a terrorist from the planet Regulon 5 … he still has an entrenched political system to deal with so it is doubtful that he could force anything truly radical and against the will of the Nation. Plus, the Supreme Court is still packed with Bush Administration yes men – so the plan for forced gay marriages will likely be voted down by them.
    So in reality, worse case scenario … the nation is in this exact same spot 4 years from now …

    … but for tonight (see my comment above) I choose to believe in hope.

  105. McCain really did do a nice concession speech. We’ve had eight years with the Republicans in charge. Now we can proceed with something different. Hopefully, things will turn out for the better. If Obama can inspire Americans to be better, then I truly think things will be better, regardless of his politics. 🙂

  106. Morning Pan, on the trivial side tonight is bonty night in the uk.

    Guys will be burnt and fireworks will fly:

    Remember remember the fifth of November
    Gunpowder, treason and plot.
    I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
    Should ever be forgot…

  107. Well I just started a refresher Earth Science course and I realise I’ve forgotten less than I thought I had.

    If you want to know about decompression melting in the mantle I’m your man. Doesn’t help with making quiches though….

  108. “The Deadpan News Network – fairly imbalanced.”

    LOL!!! 😀 You should make a recording of that for a future Deadpan episode.

    It looks like there’s nothing like a major news event to bring friends together. I haven’t seen this many different names on one Deadpan comment board in ages. 🙂

  109. JOe – LOL on “even if Obama did turn out to be a terrorist from the planet Regulon 5 …” THAT was a good way to start the morning.

    I’m headin’ in to Evil, Inc. I might be joining some of you gentlemen in search of work very soon. Jack, I’m setting up my Linkedin account today – maybe we can scratch each other’s backs.

    marlo, you out there? Are you hangin’ in, girl?

  110. I liked the original F.E.A.R. a lot, especially the AI of the soldiers trying to kill you. Played a bit on Halloween, and it was just the right amount of creepy. Looks like there is a lot of quality horror titles coming out soon, FEAR2, Left for Dead and Dead Space. I can’t afford to buy these right now, but when they end up being discounted, I’m there. 🙂

  111. I can’t imagine playing F.E.A.R. on a 360, Halo works okay though. I’m guessing I’ll end up getting “Left for Dead” and “F.E.A.R. 2” for the PC and “Dead Space” for the 360. I tend to buy the version that the game was originally developed for and avoid “ports” as much as I can.

  112. Van: I agree, but both those games used some aiming tweeks for consoles. I don’t think there was any decent aiming assist in FEAR. I need to play it again before the sequel comes out.

  113. My dumbass moment for the day.

    Started playing the latest Wander Radio, paused it as I got a drink, unpaused and heard the ringing tone…thinking that somebody was ringing me, hit the answer button on the headset and said:

    “Hello, anybody there”

    Turns out it was a promo for a show…groan.

  114. Game console topic.

    So, as someone who still owns NO game system but plans to do so before I die … this conversation makes me wonder if instead of deciding between a 360 or an X-Box … maybe I should just by a PC dedicated for gaming.
    Cost effective idea?

  115. Hmmm…

    XBOX 360 $299
    10 XBOX 360 games at $59 = $590
    Total: $889

    PC with enough horsepower to run modern games: $890 (less monitor)
    10 PC games at $39 = $390
    Total: $1280

    A few things to keep in mind, a 360 really needs an HDTV to shine, so plan on spending an additional $700 at least.

    A good 22″ PC monitor can be had for around $280.

    Then it ends up being somewhat of a wash.

  116. One added piece of info to Rhettro’s logic: If you plan on PC gaming and want good or excellent quality video, you should plan on upgrading your video card every year or two. That may run anywhere from $100 to $500.

    In general, consoles are much cheaper to replace since new models are released every 3-5 years. Gaming PCs are made obsolete at a much faster rate.

  117. Damn, Prop 8 passes in California, along w/ gay marriage bans in Arizona and Florida.

    Amendment 48 in Colorado, which was our creepiest one dealing with “Personhood” failed. Whew.

    Amendment 46 in Colorado, which will undo affirmative action here, is still too close to call.

  118. Lets just say I already have a 360, PS3, Wii, NDS and PSP.

    So cheaper now to by the upcoming winter games than getting a new graphics card.

    If you don’t have a console than of course the maths is different.

    Better not get started on the netbooks..cough.

  119. The one funny line from the Saturday Night Live election night thing – (paraphrased)
    Tina Fey as Sarah Palin “We hold the traditional view that marriage is the sacred forced union between 2 unwilling teenagers of the opposite sex”.

  120. JOe, Tina Fey was on NPR’s Fresh Air Monday and talked about that joke being the only one that she was a little worried about when standing next to Palin.

    Wolf, hello?

  121. Also ironically funny – listening to BBC radio news. A resident of Obama’s ancestral hometown said there had been a long time, old saying there that (due to their tribe’s ethnicity) it would be more likely for one of their tribe to become President of the US before one of them would ever be elected President of Kenya.

    There ya go!

  122. ok trying to catch up…

    Thanks everyone on your congrats to us for our anniversary and the kind words. Hugh and I have been through a lot the last 15 years and I will be the first one to tell you that happiness never comes easily. A loving, respectful relationship takes a whole lot of work. I am just grateful Hugh wants to and does try as hard as I do.
    I think the secret to our relationship is that above all, he still remains to this day my best friend. I can talk to him about anything and everything, and he comes to talk to me about anything and everything in his life. And yes he still makes me feel like a silly giddy swoony hormone-overloaded teenage girl when he looks at me 🙂

    CJ – welcome

    ditto – please elaborate on the interesting things you do to otters. Curious smarty hotties want to know.

    Marlo- ugh. Im so sorry you went through all that. I think that is the most aggravating part with Hugh’s medical issues. The waiting. I know that they don’t have all the answers immediately and they need to try things out and do tests and have surgeries just to figure out what to do next. But getting all your hopes up and waiting and waiting. That and our astronomical medical debt.

    Jack – congrats on your podtaint. Umm.. wait… that just doesn’t sound right at all

    EssBee- congrats on your sobriety 🙂 Keep it up. One day you will look back and years will have passed and you won’t even believe you ever needed to drink. Hugh and I are ex-users ourselves. Had a successful stint in NA many many moons ago.

    EssBee2- sorry that propostion 8 passed 🙁 that sucks. Im sorry.

    Ed – I hope sometime in the next 4 years our president will gain your trust and make you proud that he was chosen. I really do. Part of me really wants Obama to extend a hand to McCain on his cabinet. In an effort to mend the split in the country right now. of course I am not sure he will want to give up a precious senate seat. Also, the dems were told to deal with it when Bush first won 8 years ago, republicans didnt really try to extend their hand to the dems then. But who cares. That was then, this is now. I do feel that Obama will try to extend a hand to the republicans.

    Being in attendance at the rally last night was an amazing experience.
    The overwhelming feeling of hope in that crowd was electrifying and inspiring. I was very proud of America, and Chicago and felt a lot of hope for this countries future and my own personal future.

    Ok damn. This is one long, depressing post isn’t it?

  123. Nice “message” blog post, Justa J0e.

    Ah, Andrea’s making me nostalgic for the *naked grope hugs* of Deadpan yesteryear. Thanks so much for the Smarty Hottie update! Not overly long or depressing at all.

    Welcome to Deadpanland, BonyTony!

    Look at us, surpassing 600 nipples for the week. w00t to everyone! When we’re here, this place is a great twitter alternative (twitternative?). And hey, Deadpan was around before Twitter.

  124. You know what sucks more than waking up to discover your surgery has been wasted? And even more than discovering your next surgery will be worse?

    Your next 48 hrs when they send you home from the hospital without any painkillers. I’m fairly sure the neighbours could hear me screaming.

    My neighbours live miles away…

  125. Here’s a different spin:

    This is really a good time for the Republican Party as a whole. They finally got the painful experience of losing massively. This is a lesson a took the Democratic Party 8 years to learn. You can’t simply rehash the same idea. McCain should have distance himself from the established losing Republican Party. Even though their seats are gone the Republicans are still around. They could take this opportunity to reform the party around some principal core ideas.

    1. Highlight individual wasteful projects that do not served any useful purpose.

    2. Minimize the rhetoric of the theocracy, it’s no longer helping them.

    3. Demonstrate a willingness to work with Obama, giving them an opportunity to steal any ideas they can.

    4. Reject the Bush doctrine.

    I know these are pie-in-the-sky proposals but reforming the party image isn’t just necessary but could actually benefit the country as a whole. If the Republican Party really was for responsible and responsive streamlined government we wouldn’t have giant corporate bailouts and never-ending wars.

  126. Thanks Jack. That’s how I roll.
    I think it’s important to remember that though we choose separate paths we ALL want to achieve the same, basic things in this country.

    Along those lines – Today I removed the Obama sticker from my car and fixed the flag stand in my front yard so that I could once again fly my American flag.

    The choice has been made. Now it is time to stop being “us” and start being “we”.

  127. I’m very mad that anti-gay marriage amendments are getting traction. From what I understand same-sex civil unions are still legal in most of those states. From what I understand they have the same legal status there just banning the use of the word married on legal documents. While it’s a moral issue it’s not the complete end of days.

    My advice:

    1. Shine on but don’t blind, tone down Gay pride parades. Trust me I’m a very open-minded guy. Images of men riding penis floats wearing ass chaps don’t help the movement as much as Rachel Maddow does.

    2. Don’t shout I’m right next to you, the majority of people understand that they’re homosexuals in this world. You don’t have to shout at the top of your lungs or scream at us. I know coming out for individuals is a traumatic experience. Sadly, most people already knew you were gay years ago. (Folks take these with a tongue-in-cheek)

    3. Highlight the non-flamboyant, Ian McKellen, Rachel Maddow, and Ellen Degeneres do far more for the gay population than 10,000 Rue Pauls. They are also more like the majority of gay people I know. Simply being out but not outspoken does wonders for making people realize how silly prejudice is.

    I think this is sage advice coming from somebody who cares on the outside looking in. I’m sure somebody will think these comments are inflammatory, and that’s their right. I know many people are actually doing these things but remember change takes time. Your time will come. 🙂

  128. Van, that him on stage. I’m basing my opinions of Ian on the interviews on NPR and HBO’s real time. He probably gets more press over there. From what I know of his back story he came out during the start of the AIDS epidemic. Margret Thatcher wanted him to speak against homosexual rights. He turned her down and came out the closet. He struck me as outspoken but very rational. He never struck me as someone who would make his life into a performance piece.

    Hell, I have been wrong before that is the fun learning. 🙂

    Essbee, which part do you disagree with? I’ve often entered into these conversations only to have people stop talking suddenly without wanting to exchange ideas.

  129. Trucker, I think the notion of “toning it down” is what I have big problems with.

    I am queer. I am not interested in making myself palatable to people who can only understand what looks/sounds/acts exactly like them. In my opinion, that is like asking a person of color to be whiter, or a woman to be male-er because it would just make someone more comfortable.

    Homophobia runs on the belief that boy-girl, buttoned up, just-like-you behavior is the only real behavior.

    I wrote my Master’s thesis on this topic, so could go on and on and on . . . somebody stop me.

    /dykey feminist rant

  130. Trucker

    Well I can’t speak for EssBee, but from my point of view: I disagree with what you said because you are telling people to blend in, and be more like everyone else to fit in. What kind of advice is that?

    Thats like telling women to hide their breasts to look more male, and black people to lighten their skin. Black people wear loud flamboyant colors, would you ask them to tone it down?

    I dont know. But I just dont think they should be quiet about it. They should scream as loud as possible.