Big Palooza Un Little Deadpan

You know what The Energizer Bunny, ditto, and Vanamonde always say in times like these. . . Thanks very much to the three of them for taking the time to record their thoughts and insights about Big Trouble in Little China!!

More episodes to come, with lots of room left for your recorded thoughts/skits/jokes/ideas/reviews/etc. of the film. Don’t end up in the Hell of Those Who Didn’t Contribute to the Palooza! Chime in with your audio!

813 thoughts on “Big Palooza Un Little Deadpan

        • Wow.
          I’ve been in this relationship.
          The girl who SAYS she wants you to take the lead but in the end, she can’t possibly relinquish any of the control on anything whether it is making dinner or following your lead on the dance floor. As a relationship bonus, she can’t SEE that the reason why she is “having to do everything”… is that she can’t let anyone else do it their way.

  1. Today’s movie is Vampire Academy

    The PVR write up: At a secret boarding school, a half human/half vampire teenager trains to become a guardian for her best friend– a vampire princess. Based on the novel by Richelle Mead

    Strap in and prepare to be wowed

  2. Nice job, ladies and gents. Muy enjoyable.

    I think I’m more offended by Vans Expendables 2 comments than anything else :P

    And yeah, they really do pull off the comic brilliantly. I think it helps that Carpenter co-writes it. Or at least gives input to it.

  3. Spotted on my reading suggestion list, a comic mashup of Doctor Who and Star Trek TNG. My brain first went WTF and then said, “I must find this.”

    • I will probably get these as they were the pinnacle of 90’s gaming for me, especially TIE Fighter.

      Though, I really wish we could get a full on remake of these with some modern graphical horsepower behind them.

  4. Today’s movie is Stage Fright. The PVR write up:
    Blood begins to spill soon after the daughter of a Broadway diva wins the lead in the summer showcase at performing arts camp

  5. The following is based on true events
    While the names have been changed to respect their victims and families, the musical numbers will be performed exactly as they occurred

  6. uggggggggggggggghhhh. My printer, therefore my scanner, are both BROKEN!!!!!!!!

    I don’t even know where I can go to scan many, many documents urgently. Anyone know of a place?

  7. So – – Pixie and I will do our best to cross post all of our Halloween pics on the Deadpan Flickr page too, to share with those not yet assimilated by the Faceborg. I’ve seen lots of awesome pics of pumpkins and costumes on FB and in other communicatiosn – – I’m gonna request that you guys also repost your Halloween photos to Flickr.

  8. Your crap joke for the day:

    Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally,
    they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female
    moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the
    costume and shoot it.

    They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, “Okay, let’s get out and get him.” After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, “The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?” The guy in the front said, “Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”

  9. Posted on FB by a NJ friend who does counseling work with teens:

    Kid: “I’m going in costume but not wearing a shirt to my Halloween party tonight.” Me: “Then what are you dressing up as?” Kid: “Premature ejaculation…I just came in my pants.”

  10. Spent the entire night at the Folk club convinced I had seen the young woman sitting near me before (in a non folk club setting).

    Ho hum.

  11. Your crap joke for the day:

    A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says,“Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”The mother agrees.
    The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,“Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”“I don’t like her.”

  12. loved everyone’s kid halloween pics on FB.

    Today is Broncos v Pats day at my house. I’m already in the recliner with a heating pad on my shoulder (graduated from ice!) and ice on my ankle (sprained the fuck out of it yesterday).

    Sly B is making chili in the kitchen for lunchtime enchiladas. w00t!

  13. CW: Sword Art Online, Ep. 1

    Just coing down from the high of another fantastic Anime NebrasKon. I had a ton of fun cosplaying and participating in panels and activities, but I felt out-of-touch in terms of anime knowledge, so I decide to check out a newer series for myself.

  14. Your crap joke for the day:

    A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop up
    right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. “Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?” Very uncomfortably she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?” He answers, “Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price.”

  15. Well I’ve given the new Dr. Who a bunch of episodes now and I just don’t like him.
    That is not to say I don’t like Peter Capaldi’s performance. I think he is doing a great job of portraying the character they have given him.
    For some reason though, (maybe they want to prove how hip they are) the producers have decided to take the character of “The Dr.” in a grumpy, cranky, unlikeable direction and they are doing a bang-up job of it.
    Very edgy but not much fun. I find I no longer anticipate the new shows. They just kind of hang around on the Tivo until I get to them.
    Hope this isn’t the season that kills the reboot’s run.

    • There are rumors that they may be trying to reintroduce a theme from the old series (I keep hearing Valeyard being thrown around), but there are also rumors that Moffatt is trying to kill Doctor Who so he can concentrate on Sherlock. I hope both rumors are wrong, but I feel the same that it is hard to invest in this version of the Doctor.

    • I can hardly disagree. Capaldi is doing a great job, but The Doctor this season alternates between buffoon and bastard. Not much to like there.

      There are moments this season that I find very interesting, but…. *shrug*

      TBH, while I think the writers are trying to be “subtle”, I find this season’s theme to be very heavy-handed: Who is The Doctor? I don’t need to be beaten across the head to “get it”.

          • I think this one has been the best of the season. I think it may be the one that featured the most “Dr” in it. Some of the others have seemed like “The Clara Show (with special guest star “The Doctor”) “

          • But I also like Clara being ballsy as well because what I did not like about the old Who was the assistants who were basically scream queens (with the odd exception of ones like Leela).

            But what do I know, K9 was one of my fav Dr Who charcacters..

    • Interesting. I notice Van’s reactions have been pretty positive.

      We’ve only seen the first 3. The kids are currently distracted by Smallville 90210 teen angst, so the cranky old guy is a bit of a tough sell. Especially when the Doctor generations they loved were young, dashing, handsome, and fun, full of romantic tension with their companions.

        • That ties into what I mean about “Who is The Doctor?” and whether or not he’s a good man. I haven’t seen all of the original series, but I get that this Doctor is a bit of a throw back. Still I can’t recall him being continually grumpy like this. I just hope that they end up doing something interesting with this contrast.

          • I do recall some grumpiness from Tom Baker and Peter Davidson, but of course, those were the days before the Doctor’s romantic subplots. He was a bit more of a detached Professor-type back then.
            I’d heard Colin Baker was also a bit of a crank, but I’d already Who-faded by the time he came around.

  16. Today I tried a new recipe. It seems a very odd combination of ingredients. Earlier I put into my slow cooker chicken, green chilies, green pepper, tomatoes, pineapple, kidney beans, chili powder, cumin, coffee, and chocolate.

    It’s now actually starting to smell quite good. I figure we’re either going to love this recipe or hate it.

  17. So there’s been more U.S. measles cases declared this year since 1994.

    Fun fact, it was declared eliminated in the U.S. in 2000.

    The more you know… *shooting star*

  18. Did we say on here that Lo Pan, Dani, and I are going to Sleater-Kinney in February? SO EXCITED! I’m listening to them all day today.

  19. The hockey team I root for is complete shit. After last season, this is the biggest case of blue balls since Mariel Hemingway made headlines after appearing mostly nude in 1992 on broadcast TV for an episode of Civil Wars. (yeah! Look that one up, asshats!)

  20. So the Dickpublicans control now. I’m sure this means (after the inevitable Dickpublican presidential win) that we’ll have 8 years of Dickpublican retardation and hatred, followed by 8 years of Retardmocrat ineptitude and ignorance. And thus the circle continues. God I love this country.

  21. Since I’m from your future I shall simply say:

    Happy Birthday Desert Pixie!!!

    Of course if you’ve the incorrect date in FB I will now have egg on my face.

  22. In the UK, because it’s 2014, we’ve been celebrating the start of ww1.

    How fucked up is that?

    Don’t laugh, 2017 isn’t that far off…

    • I think I’m really glad I stopped watching after the first Matt Smith season. I cant imagine I’ve missed anything I’d regret not seeing.

  23. My audio book narrators seem to be working at the rate of one chapter a week. One book the chapters are about 20 minutes, finished time. The second they are about five minutes finished time. It’s going to take forever to get these books done.

  24. Oof. And the pendulum swings aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way back.

    In Colorado, we’ve elected a Senator who 1) want’s to redefine “rape”, 2) outlaw all abortion, 3) reverse all legal gay marriage AND civil unions, 4) really has no other issues.

    • Blame Udall for not doing a goddamn thing during his umpteen years in office. Seriously dumb. Although I don’t think we’re in any danger from this new jackhole of going back to 1950. It’s almost impossible to get anything done in Congress anymore.

      • I’m not sure I agree about Udall. He was a major civil rights guy. Probably too liberal for our redneck contingent. They get ruffled feathers when women, people of color, the poor, and gays get rights.

        I am probably just disappointed in my neighbors, but I also disagree (today) about us not being in any danger. I’m really wondering if Sly B and I made a mistake going for the civil union.

  25. From my SPAM folder:

    We do not want you to ever get married.

    Two reasons.

    First, marriage sucks. Wives are a pain in the butt and just nag all day long.

    Second, you cannot sleep with a hundred different women each year if you are married.

    We can make it possible for you to sleep with a hundred different women this year if you want.

    We are going to offer you a dating site membership to the best sex-community in the world.

    Best of all, it won’t cost you anything. We are giving you this pass. So take it!

    Go here to get this dating pass:
    REDACTED FOR ALL YOUR SAKE

    Do not tell your friends about this pass. We can only give a few away.

  26. The Fifth of November

    Remember, remember!
    The fifth of November,
    The Gunpowder treason and plot;
    I know of no reason
    Why the Gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot!
    Guy Fawkes and his companions
    Did the scheme contrive,
    To blow the King and Parliament
    All up alive.
    Threescore barrels, laid below,
    To prove old England’s overthrow.
    But, by God’s providence, him they catch,
    With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
    A stick and a stake
    For King James’s sake!
    If you won’t give me one,
    I’ll take two,
    The better for me,
    And the worse for you.
    A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
    A penn’orth of cheese to choke him,
    A pint of beer to wash it down,
    And a jolly good fire to burn him.
    Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
    Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
    Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

  27. So apparently we’re getting an incoming arctic blast in the first half of next week. Stay safe and warm, Deadpan crew. I’ll be at home, working on my NaNo novel, getting the last of my fall quarter schoolwork out of the way, and trying to get this place livable before my family comes for Thanksgiving.

  28. And I finally watched the Dredd videos Roaming Asshat posted awhile back. The animation and humor are pretty crude, but I’d agree that these are much closer to the 2000 AD comics than either of the movies. Twisted stuff.

  29. Once a month I do a live interview with our authors, etc. Tomorrow the author is actually coming to my house for the interview, as well as our editor (my boos). I guess I better find out if my computer’s camera has a wide angle so I can get us all

  30. Bought a new PS3, super slim with the small SSD.

    Then ordered a HD caddy from Hong Kong so I can transfer the new HDD I had bought for the old PS3.

    Now I just have to get the ‘Last of Us’ disk from the old PS3.

  31. Saw “Big Hero 6” tonight.
    It was not PIXARs best effort but still good.
    That’s the thing I guess, you have to have a bunch of good films so that you can appreciate the rare GREAT ones.

  32. Morning Pan!

    I have a “small world” story.
    Last night I attended the book launch for one of our authors. The manager of the book store we were at came up to me and told me she was having lunch with a girlfriend. She was telling her friend about the upcoming launch and the book, author, etc. I guess her girlfriend looked at her and then told her she was doing the audio narration of that same book. How strange is that?

  33. Crap joke for a lazy Sunday Morning:

    A couple were Christmas Shopping. The shopping centre was packed and as the wife walked around she wass surprised to discover her husband was nowhere to be seen.

    She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she became so worried that she called on her mobile to ask him where he was.

    In a quiet voice he said: “Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”

    The wife choked up and started to cry and said; “Yes, I do remember that shop.”

    He replied: “Well, I’m in the pub next door!”

  34. Bit of coffee with my rum this morn.

    Bunny, looks like youve bested me this week. Congrats!

    That being sad, you got snow and I get to put up xmas lights in 70 degree weather (no Im not actually turning them on until Dec). Sooooo nyeh?

  35. A pyrrhic victory.

    Hair dryer trick managed to revived the old PS3, but think I ruined the ‘Last of US’ disk.

    Hopefully it will last long enough to get saved games off it.

    • Basically, wrapping the PS3 in a towel, and using a hair dryer to blow hot air through the rear vents for 20 minutes.

      It got hot enough to warp the case in places.

      Only if the problem was brittle solder contacts.

  36. Bonus crap joke:

    A man dies, and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and starts talking to them.”You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money.”Then she whispers, “You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes.”

  37. Operation: Jack Fucking Mangan The Man has come to end.
    In closing, we are relaxing late tonight with a brew from Eugene, OR:

    CD: Vanilla Oatis by Ninkasi Brewing Co.

    What a birthday celly week & weekend blast with all of my favorite people; well most of them! With special surprise Deadpan guests: LeJohn and CharlietheBeerGuy & Co.

    Thanks, Baby for being you and all that you do for ALL of Us! Love ya to the Moon!

  38. Well waiting for the doors to open to see ‘Nightcrawler’ at the flicks.

    The arty cinema has introduced seat allocation for all performances..bleurgh!

  39. OK deadpanny peoples. I am finally ready to invest in noise canceling headphones so I can actually hear shit when I’m on a plane. Any advice? Van, I know you got a pair recently.

  40. I’m looking to buy a pair of noise cancelling headphones to make my frequent plane rides more tolerable. Any advice on brands/models? Van, I know you bought a pair recently.

    • The Lindy ones I bought (NC-10 model) were adequate, they did reduce the background noise on the plane, but nipped my ears to the point I could only use them for so long.

      When I was doing research, Bose came out on top, but then they were also the most expensive. Since I fly at most a couple of times a year I couldn’t justify the expense of the Bose, but that may be different for you as a frequent flyer.

  41. My son hid my wallet this morning. I spent all day calling places and freaking out and almost cancelled everything thinking I lost it last night while out. And this little bastard watched me freak out all day and even came with me while I retraced my steps and kept a strait face better than any adult I know.

    Then my daughter got her period.

    And now I drink….

  42. Remember, Remember the 12th of November – the day Deadpan became Gross.

    It should be a world wide holiday, but I supposed we can settle for a drinking holiday instead.

    • I may crack open that bottle of cheap orange liqueur tonight that I bought months ago.

      Or depending on taste, use it to strip the walls..

  43. Your crap joke for the day:

    A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. The man says, ‘This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.’ His wife replies ‘I think you’ll find that’s a sheep’….the man replies, ‘I think you’ll find I was talking to the sheep!:*

  44. I’m surprised more game developers don’t just say ‘fuck you!’ To idiots that comment on their game pages on Facebook.

    The people behind the game ‘Monument Valley’ on iOS and Android have released further levels for a small charge.

    However they released the new levels for iOS first, some Andriod users are now threatening not to buy the new levels because of this.

  45. “Riding the red river”?

    I HAVE been absent a long time!

    C: stuck in fucking DFW for hours before flying to fucking DIA for a white knuckle icy drive home in the wee hours.