Jack Mangans Deadpan #194: Spatupalooza

Show notes? Show notes? We don’t need no stinking show notes!

(update: We now have Show Notes. Thanks, Bunny!)

Jack Mangans Deadpan #194: Spatupalooza

UHF Palooza time

Best wishes and big hugs for all Panites who may need it

    UHF Submissions by

Jeremy from Seattle
Jack & Dan Shaurette
ditto as Joe Spadowski
Cj
Amy Bowen
Crazy Joe

Thanks to all who submitted content for this Palooza

Send in content: 480-788-JMDP(5637) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

(Yes, I noticed the screw-ups at about 14:00. Forgive me.)

782 thoughts on “Jack Mangans Deadpan #194: Spatupalooza

  1. I have this picture of a mechanic opening up Hudson Bay and after digging around “under the hood” for a while pulling out something and saying “Well, Theirs your problem. Try it now” and Canada comes to life.

  2. Morning, Pan.

    Heading out to see if I can go find a wife to bring home. Though, I suspect this game is rigged for a certain outcome :)

  3. Way to go Andy! So is that a real still or a doctored one. I know that is it somewhat of a Disney animator tradition to sneak things like that in.

  4. T Cat will work her ass off today.
    the two lucky cats that live here rent free with the dog will play.
    But I’m not bitter or anything.

  5. Good morning, Deadpan!

    I dreamed about the next Deadpan Mmmmmeetup last night. I was in a room in somebody’s house, and a whole bunch of us were there, including Andrea, Hugh, and two women whose names I can’t remember who were friends of theirs. Then we all went out of the room to a place where there were these loft-style cabins, and we had to climb ladders that were on hinges to get to the rooms where we would be staying. After several attempts to climb my ladder, which kept rotating back and forth on its hinges, I gave up and said, “Okay, this is not working.” The people going into the cabin to my right (don’t remember who), on the other side of a gap between two buildings, were climbing a series of wooden boards that were attached to the vertical side of the building, and they were managing it just fine.

  6. My UHF submission that I didn’t get to woulda been kind of funny. It was going to be something about “I wonder what Victoria Jackson and Michael Richards have been up to since UHF”

    You’d have laughed.

    I’m C: listening to all Tegan & Sara all the time

  7. haven’t finished the episode yet, but I did enjoy your segment Jeremy. I doubt I will have time to record a response for UHF, but having rewatched it on Netflix it made me remember that I couldn’t make it through it on my first viewing. LOL In general, I like Weird Al a lot. But I think music videos are a better medium for him, being shorter more focused. His schick of being an Asberger laiden dweeb gets a little tired after the first few minutes. The movie can be somewhat forgiven though for being intentionally campy and hyper aware of itself as a silly movie. Worth watch for being Weird Al’s only movie, but nothing to recommend it for a second viewing.

  8. Cj: I am quite fond of a good spinach salad with some kind of salty cheese, cranberries, and nuts. Bacon and raspberry viniagrette doesn’t hurt things either.

  9. There is actually bacon, chicken, and cherry tomatoes also. I chose bleu cheese dressing, but I’m really not a dressing person.

    I had a yummy Greek salad last week that was like salad soup. Next time I’m at NYPD, I’ll get the salad with the dressing on the side for SURE!

    (and I’ll be more careful with the olives. *cough*)

  10. “The materials are hydrogen-based, and so when used produce no carbon emissions at the point of use, in a similar way to electric vehicles”

    I wonder how many people actually read this as “no carbon emissions, Hoary!!!!!!!” forgetting the “at the point of use” part. Don’t get me wrong I do think that is very important because controlling one emission source is way easier and I would bet more efficient & effective but details like that seam to get lost often.
    I like the safer handling part too

  11. I’m out of ice-cream. What the heck’s that about?

    Now te question is, can I wait until the weekend when I go shopping or do I sneak out and get some today

  12. Okay, Mac gurus:

    Anybody know how to Enable all macros and “Trust access to the VBA Project object model” in Excel on a mac?

    ugh . . .

  13. Considering your last mashup Jack, you totally need to do a David Lee Roth / Hal 9000 exchange.

    DLR: “Yaaa AAHHAAAA”
    HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
    DLR: “I reach down between my legs”
    HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
    DLR: “She’s runnin’ I’m buying…”
    HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
    DLR: ” I got it bad, soooo bad.”
    HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
    DLR:”Ain’t nothing like her, shiny machine”
    HAL: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.
    DLR: “Yaaa AAHHAAAA”
    HAL: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
    DLR: “I’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passing buy”
    HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave, you’re going to find that rather difficult.
    DLR:”Ain’t got no love, no lovecarioooo, Ain’t got nobody waiting at home.”
    HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

  14. Jeremy, that Red Letter Media guy is a twisted genius. Even for prequels apologists (I’m one, I’ll admit it), it’s hard to refute most of his points. The ones that make sense, at least.

    And the scenes in his basement are fhilarious.

  15. Re: Red Letter guy

    When he does the bit where he has those folks describe characters from the original and then try and describe characters from the prequels … only, the characters in the prequel were so thin and forgettable that can’t even remember who they were … that was a BRILLIANT example of how Lucas had failed basic script/story writing.

  16. RedLetterMedia – My fave is still the first one I ever done saw – Star Trek Generations. Its stunning in its passionate vivisecting.

  17. Good evening, Pan.

    Pleased to say that the wife has been liberated from her confines. We celebrated with a quiet dinner out. My parents came into town to help out, so they watched the kids for us.

    Not a bad evening at all.

  18. Honestly… the fucking cellar bar scene goes on for 25 fucking minutes… ALL BUT 3 MINUTES IS DIALOG… and its more intense than 75% of all the action films devised. Beauty.

  19. Random video comments:

    How is this a Capella if there is a drum set?

    There is a band called Apacalyptica that played heavy metal music with only 4 cellos. It was brilliant for the first album, but then they started throwing all kinds of other instruments into the mix and they started to sound like every other heavy metal band out there. I feel the same way about putting drums behind an a capella group. Be unique or don’t. Don’t cross the streams.

  20. Something to look forward to (heavy sarcastic sigh on iTunes upgrade).

    On the plus side, the latest Interzone finally arrived at my local seller of papers.

  21. UH I have that first album (Apocalyptica), its great and I still break it out. Heard their new song an the radio the other day. Thought it was Stone Sour. Then I thought maybe it was another clone-metal band (as youve described them). Then I head it was them and thought to myself, “Are you kidding?” So long story short, no, youre not asshat.

  22. Ed: That’s good news!

    Jack: Sweet. I’ll read that this weekend.

    UH: Van Canto is a lot of fun. I think drums don’t count for considering a band a cappella since they aren’t a tuned instrument. And I disagree, they are unique.

  23. See. That’s what I meant about being an ass hat. Someone posted a link and I was an ass hat about it. My appologies. They are unique and I liked it aside from the drums. But I still don’t think drums should be part of an a capella group.

  24. We’re far to nice to each other here. Something needs to be done. Screw you Ditto. Your link is teh sucks and you look funny.

    There. My machismo has been apeased.

  25. Sorry you nasty English knnnnnnnnnnnnnnigits. My work computer keeps making me put in a password to go to this “unaproved” site. Sooner or later Big Brother will notice I’m not working and I’ll get in trouble. Have to pick this up later.

    Fart faces.

  26. Apocaliptica: I always thought they were an interesting group, but I never purchased an album from them. The stuff they play on the radio doesn’t sound much different that the other “standards” out there, but I have really enjoyed the guest vocals of “Christina Scabbia” *swoon* and Sandra Nasi?.

  27. WORTH the wait.

    The nice Mr. Man is going to make an exception to their warranty(which, through the use of stolen alien technology, actually expires 90 days BEFORE the date of your purchase) and send me a whole new item.

    Yea !

  28. Today is Friday.

    This is very unusual.

    it’s a bit of a melancholy Friday for me – though I’m looking forward to my first weekend off … actually … OFF

  29. Yahoo needs to make their image “safe search”, customizable.
    In my case, it is not nekkid photos I want them to protect me from … it’s current photos of girls who were HAWT 20 years ago.

    I want a “show me NO current pictures” mode.

  30. I’m learning EverNote today.

    And..

    My desk drawer soda supply has dwindled, but I can’t fathom paying $1.25 for a soda from a machine.

    Let’s hear it for free water!

  31. CD: Homebrew – “Midnight Beatdown Porter”

    D-elicious !!! “Blackhole” dark. No light escapes this glass and yet the thick fluid drinks with out any bitter aftertaste. mmmmmmm

  32. According to the Pintley site – “You just need 247 points to start beating Lo Pan”

    Which I am re-posting here because I find it somewhat amusing to see the internets trying to get me to “start beating Lo Pan”. :drevil:

  33. I swung by a beer store tonight on the way and they were having a Widmer Brewery tasting. I didn’t taste, but I did pick up their limited Russian Imperial Stout. Gonna try it. I was gonna link it up for you guys, but their website looks a bit outdated. tsk, tsk.

  34. Re: fantasy draft thing
    I’m not sure if i think it is stupid yet. I can tell you some of these can’t talk well. (I’m watching the replay of it and I’m 20 minutes in).
    I don’t understand, are they actually picking the teams so it won’t be East Vs. West?

  35. I just found out I will actually be able to watch the all-star game. Apparently there is some pro-dish or pro-cup or pro-something game on right after the all-star game. I thought they where on at the same time.

  36. I kind of like this fantasy draft thing because they give lots of stats and also I get to watch random teams so it is hard to really learn players. other wise i think it would stink.

  37. Right now, my son is explaining to his sister (through the use of his Hulk action figure) what todays immunity shots do to his immune system. Its…its glorious.

  38. So I have an interesting dilemma this year. My daughter in-law is from wisconsin and presented me with a cheese-head hat because I likes teh cheese. A friend of mine gave me a packers jersey because he had received it by accident and the company didn’t want it back when they corrected the order. This puts me in a prime position to root for Green Bay in the super bowl. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at these things), I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about football. Do I bother to pay attention because of my possessions? My most likely course of action is to try to sell the jersey on ebay and hope someone want’s to pay for it because the packers are in the super bowl and keep the cheese-head because I likes teh cheese.

  39. Used Hair, I would sell it. I am a packer fan only because I live 1 hour from Green bay and I would sell it or gift it to someone who would really like it.
    I just don’t like most sports team memorabilia other than to sell it to someone who might really enjoy keeping it.

  40. That video is pretty amazing. Teabaggers should observe an uprising of truly oppressed people demanding their basic human rights of a totalitarian regime. None of those people are marching to the orders of some dimwit on TV and unwittingly protesting their improved health and lowered taxes.

    My next comment will be more fun.

  41. So, I was having this amazingly great day.
    It was going so well.
    seriously.
    I was happy and giddy and giggly and positive.
    Then.
    BLAMMO!

    Evening suckage.

    What a great way to start the weekend.
    I should take up heavy drinking or under-rock-hiding.. or sticking-my-head-in-the-ovening.

    I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep tonight, on my huge pillow.

  42. I already used it for Halloween this last year. Selling it was really what I want to do anyway. It just occurred to me last night what an opportune time it is to do it now.

  43. Re: the video link form earlier

    Is anyone else becoming uneasy with the startling similarity between what is happening in Egypt and what took place in Iran that changed it into the militant, aggressively anti-US, Islamic state it is now.

    History has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

  44. “Right now, my son is explaining to his sister (through the use of his Hulk action figure) what todays immunity shots do to his immune system. Its…its glorious.”

    Lo. I would have so loved to see that!

  45. Hmm, I know the adobe one works with my nook, I’ll have to mess with it to see how well it works. I’m looking for an easier way to load and manage ebook content that I don’t get through the B&N store. I have to say that anything bought from B&N is handled equally robustly as Amazon handles the kindle content. At least from what I’ve read about Amazon’s service.

  46. Hubby’s downloading Dead Space (1) on the XBox as we type.

    You know, it seems to me, he gets more use out of this birthday gift for me than I do. But then, back in July when it was brought up, I knew he would :wink:

  47. We’ve had approx 4″ of snow since late last nightsnd are expecting another 6″ over night (converted from cm just for you Americans)

    What’s funny about this is we broke warmth records on Thirsday. Silly weather :silly:

  48. Since we’re in the middle of 60degree weather I’m beginning to have my doubts any housework is getting done.

    *gleam*
    *points at Bunny*
    *gleam*

  49. Also got a message from a Xarnya on the XBox. Will have to check it out once credits are over. Then I think hubby wants to play his new game

  50. To kill things in hubby’s game you have to completely dismember them

    Really disturbing

    I think hubby’s playing just because I’ll cuddle extra close to him tonight from the freaky dreams I see this thing causing

  51. But then I go and do something like this:

    Last night we watched “Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore”

    The kids loved it and we enjoyed it as well, particularly when taken as the James Bond spoof it wanted to be. I’m halfway surprised they got away with a title like Kitty Galore, considering the source.

    As far as movies to watch with the kids, I say this does pretty well on the not so painful for adults to sit through factor.

  52. Tonight, we just finished watching RED (i.e. Retired, Extremely Dangerous)

    You just can’t lose with a plot that features Helen Mirren with machine guns.

    Definitely put this one in the WIN! column.

  53. My mother-in-law enjoyed RED

    I saw The Hangover tonight.

    I’m Xarnya on Xbox360 live.

    I may be around less and for that, I’m sorry for so many reasons.

  54. Talking of movies, saw ‘Hereafter’ last night.

    A movie with enough plot for 30 minutes running time that was stretched to 2 hours.

  55. E from the T: I hadn’t even thought about the source of the title for Kitty Galore. Nice. My daughter and I thought the movie was good, but not as good as the first Cats and Dogs.

  56. My 14 year old daughter and I watched Legend of the Guardians: Owls of Gahool. We both thought it was way too predictable and preachy. Bit of a stinker for older kids and adults. But I’m willing to bet the younger kids will like it well enough.

  57. my gamertag on xbox 360 is usedhair (surprise, surprise). But, I only play about once a week and I only own Halo Reach and Burnout Revenge.

  58. So, I didn’t see any of the NHL stuff this weekend. Bunny, what do you think of the draft now? It looks like it was fun and different, though it could get tedious year after year.

    We have the owl movie coming up in our queue. Not a good sign with the negative reviews here… although I’ll reserve judgment til we watch it. I’d hate to be a mierenneuker without seeing it first.

  59. Thank you for posting that. I have been meaning to go read it and just kept forgetting to look it up.

    I think they’ve got some really good points, but I don’t think that all the stories need to be “politically correct”. Sometimes, a good fantasy is something you know would be wrong in reality, but… wouldn’t it just be great if it turned out I really was a Prince from Mars and now I can beat the ever-loving tar out of those assholes…

    i.e., A chosen one.

  60. I met Sam Sykes last year; he seems a decent guy. In some circles, he’s being touted as one of High Fantasy’s next big voices. He seemed pleased when I joked that his story involving fishmen sounded like the same old thing – – and he got it – – he didn’t get haughty and offended.

    I do like that both he and Jemison say they want to shake up the formulas and cliches. Interesting that he talks about compromising a little bit in the attempt to be a bestseller.

  61. 2nd intermission for All-Star game. The first had 3 Doors Down. Playing Kryptonite. Really? Now they are going to reveal Stan Lee’s NHL super heroes. Pretty lame overall.

    The game isn’t bad. 7-6 right now. I don’t really care who wins.

  62. Sorry if my earlier response to Van’s link seemed harsh, the post just twanged some of my pet peeves. And now that I think about it, I probably automatically skip over the kind of writing they were talking about so that I think there is a higher percentage of “groundbreaking” fiction than there actually is.

    CD: Grey Goose Vodka

    CL: Disgustipated – Tool

  63. CD- another of my Midnight Beatdown porters.

    This one is a little more bitter then the one I had the other day. Might be a temperature thing though, That one was at about 52degrees and this one was more along the lines of 60 degrees F.

  64. Hopefully LR switched to beer.
    Once you’ve reached “nice buzz” phase, you just want to maintain it.
    Quality liquor is wasted and will probably just push you past “nice buzz” and into wasted.

    Let it be written.

  65. Game was awful. Just terrible.

    Member LR, Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.

    Oh that didnt answer your question at all

  66. Very cool video Ed. Even as a long time astronomy geek that helped illustrate the various sizes of the planets.

    So if I go liquor, liquor, beer, liquor, liquor, beer, beer what will happen?

    I have to admit I’m at stage 5 and almost wasted. but deliciously wasted even so.

    …stupid alcohol interferes with grammer

  67. Its quite good, LR… but not quite what I was hoping for

    BA says: “The taste holds notes of roasted malts, dark chocolate, light spruce, caramel, and light oak. ” They should have specified heavy on the caramel. Not one Ill get again (especially at 9.00 a bomber) but glad I tried.

  68. LR and JJ (and whomever else wants to), you should swing over to Denver Sept 29 – Oct 1 for the Great American Beer Festival. Among that, me and EssBee could give the whirlwind pub tour as well as visit DaveCo – the worlds largest liquor store. Think about it, wont you!

  69. Very, LR. To be fair Ive really been enjoying the shit out of some grand smoked porters, so to get a strong coffee/choco aftertaste instead of smoke has me a bit off kilter. I’m noticing that it drinks really well tho…cause its about gone.

  70. Lo: If I can make it I definitely will be out there. Hell I wish I has the money for the strong beer festival that’s coming up in a week or so, in Denver.

    What smoked porters have you tried? The only one available to me is from the local Choc brewery. And while they do a decent job, I’ve yet to be impressed by any of their beers. Even their award winners are rather meh in my opinion.

  71. Its be super cool if you could.

    Lately Ive tried the 2009 Alaskan Smoked, Lefthand Fade to Black (which this year is a smoked porter), and t he stone smoked porter. Of all those I’d recommend the Alaskan. The stone is average and the Lefthand is almost out of control on the smoke.

  72. Well, as I understand it the Alaskan pretty much defines the style, so that is awesome.

    In all fairness the Choc smoked porter does a decent job of balancing the smoke and other flavors so that is not offensive. I just find it uninteresting, of course I may have been so disappointed that I’m too critical of their beers.

  73. I’m trying to find that balance of interesting and a nice, uninteresting, drinkable beer myself LR. Many of my fav beers are what youd call a simple session beer. Trying to let this area’s cornucopia not spoil me :)

  74. luckily Denver is only about 10 hours away for me so I just need hotel and gas money.

    Lo Pan you probably have it right, while avery has been teasing me with announcements I haven’t payed that much attention since I can’t go yet. Oh and if I were you I’d probably spend 5 nights a week at the avery tap room.

  75. I’f I had the money and cab fair home… and if the family wouldnt kick my ass.. I’d spend 5 nights one week at the Avery tap room. Then teh next 5 at Great Divide…then Breckenridge… then Oskar Blues… then Lefthand… then.. oh you get it!!!

    Gonna watch some Community. Good morrow, sirs

  76. So I was reading that some people can’t detect bitterness in food and drink they consume (due to genetic variation).

    After all this beer talk, I’m envious of them now..

  77. As it is, hubby has another stupid meeting tonight so won’t be home until quite late. Because it’s a little controversial (the government is talking about changing the purview of charter schools), he figures it could run very late.

  78. Alicia: In TMI news, I’ve just seen a commercial for what equates to Listerine for a lady’s hoo-hoo.

    My response: “Was the tag line “It kills germs that cause bad breath?”

  79. Okay the second one:

    Steph:There are exhibitionists in the womens locker room where I work out. No other explanation…

    Me: I always like a good exhibition.

    Steph: My friend said one girl was blow drying her vajayjay. We’ve evolved. It’s called trim and not bush for a reason.

    Me: Color me informed. LOL

  80. JOe: Not dry.

    Bunny: I’m more of an enthusiast than an expert.

    I’ve always liked Jennifer Love Hewitt, but the idea of sticking crystals on the surface reminds me of sandpaper.

  81. I’ll be off my 60hrs a week schedule after February 13th, my availibility should be much greater then. :) Of course after the vocal talents of Lo and EssBee, I would be afraid of being a dissapointment, having all the vocal presence of an asthmatic 12 year old. =P

  82. Be careful out there. *Hill Street Blues Theme* Seriously, be careful out there, all of you guys in the snow.

    J0e, since Deadpan is kinda sci-fi and desert-based, we probably ought to have a Deadpan landspeeder.

  83. Morning Pan, today’s cheesey fiction quote (from Ansible) is from Angel at Dawn by Emma Holly:

    ‘Her climax was a nail he was hammering repeatedly’

  84. There was an episode of the new Twilight Zone series (the colour series) where a man discovers every second of reality is shepered along by an army of people. I wonder if it was based on the same Dick story as the Adjustment Bureau.

  85. Oklahoma City News: We’re going to pre-empt all regular programming, and national news, to tell you every 5 minutes that it’s still snowing and you shouldn’t be driving.

  86. I find it wonderful that Denver is still only around 45% of our usual snowfall. I also find it wonderful that I knoe we’re gonna get our. For shits sake it was 70F just over 48 hours ago!!!

  87. Wow, it appears to be a snow day around here too. I sure hope everyone is well and safe in the real world.

    UsedHair – consider yourself IN for Earbuds Exchange of Doom. Or whatever we’re calling it.

  88. *sigh*
    Just found out that one of my nephews (23 year old) tried to kill himself last night. Took everything he could find in the cupboard.
    This from a sister who heard it over a breaking up cell signal from the breaking up mother who was making the 3 hour drive to the hospital.

    Details are sketchy but it doesn’t look good.

    meh

    Nothing I can do but wait for a phone call … so feel free to provide continued silly banter and distracting geeky links. Or even silly links and geeky banter.

    I shall drink this Sam Adams and try to wash the nasty taste of that Black Cherry beer out of my mouth.

  89. Ugh^. So sorry JJ. I personally had a cousin and grandma who did the same thing. Fucking depressing and helpless feeling. Stay strong brother.

    PS: I could have told you cherry beer sux ;)

  90. About to crack open a Great Divide Smoked Porter for the first time. I must say that as breweries go, I trust Great Divide the most at the moment (minus the fiasco that was the Denver Pale Ale).

  91. That sucks Joe, my sympathies.

    I actually enjoyed the Sam Adams Cherry Wheat I had several years ago. Though now I wonder if it would be too sweet if I had some again.