Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #144: Gross

Gross Show Notes.

Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #144: Gross

The Wide World of Deadpan (courtesy of Kurt)

Tales of the Children Podcast by P.G. Holyfield (http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/) and Angel Between the Lines (http://www.angelbetweenthelines.com/)

Cj with the contents of her purse

Huey Lewis is a LIAR!

Paul Maki with the Broken Lyrics challenge.
Last week’s winner was Vanamonde!

Greasy Nipples by
Johnny Null
Ed from Texas
Not the Bunny
Amy Bowen (first comment of the week)

Jack gives us thoughts to ponder on Yoda

More on Cj’s purse

Join the Duel of the Fates 3 team. Only 3 people allowed on each team. Check out the website for more information. E-mail Jack with a request to join a team.

Also, send in 12 second “intangibles” by Wednesday November 18th.

Saturday, November 14th, Jack will be perfoming at Podcamp AZ at approx. 2:00 or 2:30. Watch the show live streaming (http://podcampaz.org/)

Send in content: 206-350-Tomi (8664) or e-mail: sphericaljackmatgmaildotcom

Closing music

416 thoughts on “Jack Mangan’s Deadpan #144: Gross

  1. LostRalph, are you sure your in the right place 🙂
    sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m a sucker for being “that guy” if it involves a cheap laugh

  2. I have a complaint about the promo at the beginning of the episode. Near the end of it a cat meowls. I thought it was my cat so had to pause and get up to see what was wrong. It completely confused Reeny when she came when called and I didn’t really have anything for her 😉

  3. “Oh I wish I were back in old Canada, a land which I never shall lampoon. How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba and the beauty that is Saskatoon.”

  4. Things are coming along nicely for these early chapters. Of course, I don’t really need to do research of any proper sort to write about my hometown in 1990. Later chapters will take some actual foield trips to the MN Historical Society collections and things will slow down accordingly.

  5. Breaking down my Boogie, man. Building up some marshmallow Stay Puft goodness. Bricking up some casks of amontillado. I’ve lost my pendulum somewhere near the pits. I’m never seeking out a pet raven ever more. Don’t forget to pet the cat…

    Ok. This is officially stupid and I’m not going to spew anymore weirdness on this perfectly normal Friday.

    Good morning, Pan!

  6. OK. so I’m officially behind again… My wife’s going out of town without me… I’ve barely breached the 2000 word mark on NaNo… and my kitten has been having vomiting fits…

    I’m blaming Friday the 13th… Largely because there’s no harm in doing so, and no one will complain about it… (I’m adding extra ellipses, because I like hearing Jack say that word…)

  7. Good morning.

    Hope goat kitteh has a speedy recovery.

    Hubby is at WordCamp so I’m home doing laundry and enjoying the quiet.

    Time to change the laundry.

  8. J0e, ditto, just watch the Duel of the Fates infomercial tonight at 2:30am!!!!!!! Adrian Zmed will yell into the camera for 30 minutes to tell you about how our patented Duel of the Fates system can
    Change! Your! Life!

  9. Bunny, of course you would scare the zombies. After all, you’re not locked in the creepy old house with the zombies, they’re locked in there with you…

    Once upon a time, long ago in a land called Bozeman, I asked Martha Quinn what she thought about Mojo Nixon. She said she figures someday she should send him a big bakery basket backstage full of muffins with a card “From Martha.”

  10. You should absolutely be at Podcamp, Lejon. There will actually be WordPress instructional panels there, too.

    I’m doing a preso at 11:45, then talking on-camera to Dan and Cj after lunch at about 2, while doing soundcheck to set up for my 2:30 – 3:15 concert.

  11. My wife is having one of those multi-level marketing parties for a friend who got suckered into it, so I’m not sure if I will have the chance to “tune in” to the stream…

  12. Yeah. Nail biting is terrible. I am actually very thankful that I haven’t ever partaken… hmm partook? in that habit.

    wait.. can you tell me again how to immobilize Jack? 😈

  13. Van – intangibles would be like … well, you verses Flash (AAA aaaaa) Gorden – in the event of a sudden downpour he would catch pneumonia where as you would have certainly remembered your coat. “Surviving a rainstorm” would go to Van.

    Intangibles are the little “extra” things a character brings to the table.

  14. It’s never fun when video cards go bad. Pulled the video card from my wife’s computer and stuck it in mine. Dragon Age now works perfectly. The Win 7 Aero interface works perfectly.

    Turns out I’ve been living for almost a year with a sleeper agent video card. I apparently just hadn’t been giving it a sufficient workout before.

  15. Be careful Jack. I had the dizzy/headache/fuzzybrain thing in mid-October. It decided to attack my lungs and become bronchitis. During that fight, there was tanks, tears, and bags of cough drops. Somewhere along the way I bruised a rib.

    I still don’t know how it went from really bad headache to bronchitis…

    Anyway, hope you feel better sooner than later.

  16. Thanks for the cautionary advice, null. I probably needed to hear that.
    Ugh. I’m leaning more and more toward a doctor visit on Monday.

    Hey govt, you want to fix healthcare? Get actual doctors offices working 24/7, not just during weekdays.

    Goodnight moo.

  17. Jack, do you netti pot? Might help – I dunno.

    Enjoy podcampaz, y’all. Today, in snowy CO, I’ll be cleaning the house. The big clean – not just the vaccuum/dust clean.

    We watched Ep. 2 of V last night and I have to say I really like it — except for Elizabeth Mitchell’s makeup.

  18. Morning all.

    Jack I swear, Cj and I haven’t used the ring yet so don’t blame us for your yuckiness 😉

    Get better. Warm blanket, warm drink and warm hugs are what is called for, I think.

    Have fun at Podcamp Jack, CJ. et. al.

    Now I have a cake to make.

  19. Sounds like it is quite the event with plenty of Mangany goodness.

    Jealous? Me?…..

    Hope you crazy Arizona kids are having a good time.

  20. Howdy all you Panties out there!

    I stopped by podcampaz…I was late. I only got there as it was ending.

    I worked most of the day getting a podcast edited and posted (yes, ironic, I know)

    I also got lost on the way…so… I got there and was only able to play a little bit with the Microsoft Surface for about 20 minutes before I had to go feed my sister’s cats… (30 pound cat, I swear… I don’t know why I had to feed it)

    I did catch up with Jack and Cj at Chino Bandido (Chinese-Mexican Takee Outee) after the event. I may make it tomorrow… seems like a bunch of good folks there.

  21. My throat hurts.

    My feet hurt.

    And… I’m happy!

    Jack was, as expected, amazing today. (seriously, seriously, amazing!)

    Lejon, I look forward to seeing you again. *swooon* you are so cute!

  22. 16,439 words total. 1,688 words written today, of which roughly 821 were written by typing them into my cell phone during other activities and then transcribing them onto my computer. That was fun. Hoping for much catching-up tomorrow.

    Good night, mush.

  23. So back from seeing 2012. Silly fun and dare I say it much better than that pile of crap that was ID4.

    But a warning for some, just ignore the mutated neutrinos bit..cough.

  24. Hey pan

    Hope you are all good.

    San Francisco has been rough, but good to us. Ever since we got here life has been on total fast forward and can’t figure out how to stop it. BUT, Hugh’s treatments are going damn well. He is doing great.

    Jack told me he had a show at the pod thingy there in AZ this weekend. He told me about it but I couldn’t get to listen. Did anyone by chance record it?

    I will try to check back here but really I would really really appreciate it if someone could email me if they know. My gmail address is andreadmw.

    Hope you are all well.

  25. Van – just guessing the following ;
    To get arrested, someone would have to know they took it. Usually it is management who notices all that stuff is gone … and they were the management!
    Eventually the folks back at the shop will notice stuff missing … but who are they going to tell? London? London doesn’t know what is what in the NY office.

    So … for the time being at least, they can get away with it.

  26. He’s started!

    j0e!!!! Can you hear me!!!!!!


    aww. I miss you guys. I wish life wasn’t so damn complicated 🙁

    but like i said things are going well here, and this is pretty damn important so that is cool. The rest of life can just wait for this to be over, right?

  27. I love a man who plays guitar

    Hugh sez: I HAVE to take those fucking guitar lessons!

    Jack sez: We’ve got like 1000 people in here”

    awww.. Jack is so poular!! No wonder he is so nervous

    Hugh sez: Jack this is the part you should take your shirt off and throw it into the crowd


  28. OK, … I don’t get this “skunk” thing. YES, I have had waaaay more then my share of wine but I DON’T have an order or a stripe down my back.
    “Drunk as a skunk” pshaw.
    What’s the dealeo with THAT?

  29. PodCampAZ was awesome and lots of fun.

    Gotta give it up to Jack who I know wasn’t feeling that great. He was a real asset to the podcast stream and did a great job providing musical talent (especially himself 🙂 *swooooon*) and helping out chatting on the stream.

    Thanks, Jack! You are wonderful, amazing, brilliant, and appreciated!

  30. Cool, a visit from TSH! Hi there! 🙂

    Wow, I wrote 4,652 words today. That puts me at 21,071. Still 3,929 words behind, but much, much further along than I was at this point last year. 🙂

    Glad to see that everyone enjoyed their Sunday.

    Good night, Pan.

  31. Yet to be seen. I’ve sent links to the main site, explaining that I’m on the comments page just about daily, then a link to the episode with “Quitting Time,” and a link to RBT Ep1 “Spoonbridge with Cherry.”

  32. Woot! TSH sighting.

    Van: encryption doesn’t necessarily prevent traffic shaping if they are watching well-known tracker addresses.

    Well, it’s going to be a rough/busy week so I won’t be on much. Have fun everyone!

  33. Morning, Bunny and JB!

    ditto, Morning! You will be missed. Hope you are feeling better!

    Actually, good morning everyone. I feel great today except for the broken (ok not really broken) knee, achy feet and the fact that I’m pretty much mute. I’m not sick, I’m just in a state of PodcampAZ recovery. I don’t know how many people I talked to and/or interviewed, but my voice is shot.

    It was worth it 🙂

  34. I’m going to be here working all day so that’s rest-like.

    Having coffee right now… it is my favorite liquid 🙂

    Dan is still sleeping. He’s wiped from this weekend too!

    Jack, when you get here… let us know how you are doing!


  35. I’m actually off for a while. I have a number of things to do this morning.

    Hubby also said he wants to catch a live hockey game during his winter break. I’m glad he told me now. The Flames are quite popular at the moment and you do have to get tickets several weeks in advance now. So I’ll be doing that when the mall opens in an hour as well.

  36. Holy Cow!

    I guess Bon Jovi tickets went on sale today. The line up was fairly long and they wouldn’t sell me non-Bon Jovi tickets until everybody else was dealt with first. 🙁

    Oh well, they did give me free coffee coupons for various stores at the mall.

    The Flames were mostly sold out. I had to go forward to December 30th in order to get tickets. Go figure

  37. I’m starting to get a backlog of games. Sims World Adventures just showed up today. I haven’t finished Dragon Age, yet (heck I haven’t finished Risen for that matter). I’ll install it, but then I’ll put it aside until I’m done DA. Good for when there’s a lull between game release dates 😉

  38. BTW, we have 5 people who’ve pledged allegiance to specific DotF3 characters – – with one more commitment pending. Are you interested in playing along? Supporters of the winning character will win crap. . . .

    The deadlines for joining a team AND for 12-second intangibles (free-form reasons why you prefer one character over the other in less than 12 seconds) in the 1st battle – – Ming the Merciless vs. Flash Gordon – – are due before the editing/release of the episode, Wednesday night.

  39. I also wish to say, bragging rights ate yours if you give correct Broken Lyrics answers. I never threw down a deadline, but I may produce the next segment as early as tomorrow night…

  40. As long as the sabotage comes in audio clips of less than 12 seconds!

    No getting eaten by bragging rights.
    I am completely stumped by this week’s lyrics. What is this segment called?

  41. Some of the comments in the chatroom about female guests at podcamp were a bit strange.

    …and the guy asking whether this was the place to see a boxing match even more strange.

  42. Okay, small hints today, bigger hints tomorrow, after that I taunt you from the answers portion of the next recording.

    Release Dates/Band or Artist’s Hometown
    1) 1998/Saint Paul, MN
    2) 1990/Brooklyn, NY
    3) 1989/Manchester, UK

  43. Ah, sorry I didn’t get the chat live with you, Van. Should I have gotten into a boxing match? Thanks for tuning in, brother.

    Words to your motha?
    Spherical Lyrical?
    Really Big Lyrics?
    Lyrics Truck?

  44. There were some asshats in that chatroom, I agree. But I won a t-shirt! Jack truly sounded great, and Cj looked great!

    I’m exhausted, DP. I got some rotten news at the Dr. today – nothing worth sharing details of yet, and nothing life-threatening, just rotten.

    Okay – salmon night. It’s not gonna cook itself.

  45. EssBee, I’m sorry to hear that there’s a bad doctor report of any kind. Hope it gets better soon.

    And thanks for the compliments. It was a lot of fun!

  46. Yes, I contacted Mr. Brown personally to taunt him afterward. After all, that first clip movie was shot in…

    hmm, lemme think, I know the name of the town.

    on the tip of my tongue…

    Oh yeah, Phoenix, AZ.

  47. everyone get better.

    JB – I don’t remember the lyric but your 2nd clue gave that group away!
    Brooklyn’s very own “Ambassadors of Love” perhaps?

    Now, I’m taking my all-day-long migraine and I’m going to bed.

  48. Van-

    Thanks for pointing out Vuze, it plays back what had previously seemed to be weird codecs which I hadn’t been able to find plugins for, plus transcodes to iPod-friendly video automatically!

    Plus, it seems to be re-uploading back into the torrents, which my last torrent client seemed unable to do for some reason…

  49. You know, I suppose it was my turn eventually. I have seen no sign of the latest deadpan in my Itunes this week. Going for the manual retrieve.

  50. Just went back and listened to the Broken lyrics again.
    I got absolutely nothing. From the clues I thought #2 was TMBG but I don’t recognize “Kill Kill Kill Kill” as anything they have ever sung.

  51. Meh
    Finally got around to checking out Vuze.
    They sold me on it as being the greatest thing ever, so I tried to download … only to discover that you have to have OS 10.5 to use their latest version. There seems to be no option for downloading previous versions.

    i hate them

  52. Ed, Kurt said the theme was “supernatural” which was a little thin as themes go, possibly. Initially I had just the first two, and things were going in a B-Movie direction, but the third blows that as it’s definitely more a-list despite Gunn’s Troma pedigree.

    I was tempted to use “Planetfall” for the third film, but I’m still working on rebuilding my cred after that one…

  53. Let’s see:

    2 pairs of runners – one for everyday, one for workouts
    1 pair of sandals
    2 pairs of good shoes – one black, one white
    3 pairs of boots – 1 each of spike heels, 2″ heels, and flats

    Ok, I lied. I have eight pairs of foot wear. Any more than that seems excessive 😉

  54. Speaking of themes, the Broken Lyrics Challenge sort of had one, though I assure you these came via shuffle play.

    Okay, last clues, you have until maybe 9PM CST, when I’ll be producing the next one:

    The accidental theme is the process of art.

    1) Filmmaking – the title is a placename
    2) Music Making – The song might be about an effects pedal…
    3) Music Making – It’s as close to a gimme you’ll get on this one when I say it gets scatological…

  55. Last weeks DP still hasn’t downloaded for me in iTunes.

    I’m a minimilist when it comes to shoes.

    I pair of boots for bad weather.

    A pair of trainers for all other times.

    Oh and rare TMI moment for me…I go bare footed in the house.

  56. Morning Pan, I know i have to many shoes. I realized to late that I don’t out grow my shoes any more. Also my wife doesn’t like me putting on brown shoes with black pants.

  57. In my head I can count (which means this isn’t all of them, I’m sure I’m forgetting a few)

    20 Pairs of flip flops
    5 Pairs of mules
    6 Pairs of Sneakers
    3 Pairs of boots
    8 Pairs of slippers
    5 Pairs of dress shoes/pumps
    1 Pair of black mary janes

    …….. the list goes on, but y’all didn’t ask for the contents of my closet.

  58. My Google-Fu has failed me, so I must ask a Brit…

    Hey Van, have they scheduled an airdate for the video of the RSC Hamlet with Tennant and Stewart?

  59. I got a very nice pair of Ecco’s about 6 years ago and other than a black pair I don’t think I will buy work or dress shoes again. After I shine them they look like the day I bought time and I have worn them nearly everyday since I got them.

  60. I think I may have to call in the contents of my . . . ahem . . . closet. I am a shoe hoarder.

    I have <3ed big-shoed men in the past.

    Mmm, chicken noodle soup.


  61. The good news is that, after the merger, Evil Inc. offers benefits to same-sex domestic partners of it’s employees. The bad news is that 1) I would have to pay for Sly B’s premium’s after taxes (which is a federal thing, so expected), 2) I would have to submit a written, notarized, affidavit discussing the fact that our relationship is exclusive (wtf?) and that we expect to stay together indefinitely, and 3) I would need to proffer proof of our relationship, like mortgage statements, car loans, bank statements, credit card bills (photos?).


    The wonderful news is that we are very privileged folks, and Sly B has her own benefits at her own job. We’re solid on all that. Still, this is kinda sad for me.

    Also, Sarah Palin needs to zip it. She is so lame.

  62. Well, so I suppose they’re going to have to take benefits away from all the heterosexuals in open or polyamorous marriages, huh? Only those who are “exclusive.”

  63. Getting ready to record LLAP when really, I should be sleeping.

    I’m gonna be yawning throughout the episode or giggling if ScottyJ and I start doing shots as he’s suggested…

  64. Got in at 6am to begin work on my phase of an intensive project.

    Unfortunately, starting involves the prior phase being started by someone else.

    Bet you can’t guess the status of the previous phase…

  65. Van, I believe I’ve restored balance by grabbing the entirety of the Hitchhiker’s radio series. I began by listening to the interview of Douglas Adams conducted on the 20th anniversary of its original airdate. It was very good, I enjoyed it thoroughly, and I was a bit sad, of course, especially when they were speaking of his very young daughter Polly.

    A bit less predictably, I then began listening to the series and found I had the urge to weep uncontrollably. I’ve managed to control it, I believe I can put that down to having read the paperback of the first novel at age 9, and thereafter watched the television series. The main theme therefore triggered some manner of…

    Or I’m just pretty tired.

  66. I can’t recall how the radio series ended, I know there’s a whole bit with Lintillas and Allitnils and the statue of Arthur Dent rejecting a cup of tea. Shoe event horizon? Yeah something like that, no?

    Interested to hear how the progression from Fit the Twelfth to Fit the Thirteenth will work, as I believe the third through fifth series were based directly on the corresponding novels…

  67. Thanks, Bunny!

    Van, as for your push/pull question, as for what I would do, I would evaluate the relationship’s value. If it’s worth it, I would address the issue. If the discomfort outweighs the joy, walk away.

    I’m of the belief that while relationships and people are very important and special on a whole, there are very few relationships or friendships that will come into our lives that are a so special and meaningful that they deserve to treated with unconditional love and understanding.

    … that was more than you asked for.

  68. I definitely think Deadpan is an aphrodisiac. We’ve all wound up in our bunk in one way or another thanks to Deadpan.

    It’s not just lust either… I’m in love with Deadpan.

  69. I’m heading back to my daughter’s school now. Wednesdays are volunteer days. I love being classroom mommy!

    Off I go to help teach our future overlords.

  70. I have been following the “mammogram report” and find it disconcerting.

    A panel released it’s findings that recommend women under 40 should NOT get regular mammograms. They repeatedly said that they didn’t think they could save many lives and in fact could be “harmful”.
    Yet if you take the time to read through their report (which most people will NOT) you discover that they are talking about psychological harm NOT physical harm. They say that about 10% of women get a false positive and then have a great deal of stress until further tests show they are OK.

    While I DO think that is a terrible thing … I think their report is a (intentionally?) misleading attempt to scare women away from the tests.

    Maybe I am just a big-‘ol synic but I have to wonder if the real motivating factor is the cost benefit studies for the insurance companies. It is probably cheaper to let the 1 in 2000 women who are saved by the once a year screenings die – rather then pay for the other 1999 to have the screening.

    Oh and according to ABC news, there were NO breast cancer specialist on that expert panel.

  71. Great Googlymoogly I’ve been producing audio a bit too long…

    I’m listening to something produced out of the bloody BBC Radiophonic Workshop and thinking: “I think they clipped Marvin’s line just a bit just now…”

    Of course, I clipped a line of my own last night, but I’m hardly the Beeb.

  72. justa J0e, when i saw this crap the first thing i thought was was government trying to take over health care looking for anyway to make studys that show the cost would be less than it is.

  73. Lo Pan refuses to pay 55$ for a Pixies ticket. Lo Pan enjoys milk… however to BE milked is quite another matter. Tis its own hell altogether.

  74. Lo, Pixies tixies were $28 for the show last night in Boulder. I didn’t go, but was tempted. Come to the Rocky Mountains. You can haunt my guest room.

    Van, I think what Cj said is very wise. I’ve done a lot of work toward destroying my inner doormat over the past several years, and, with the knowledge that relationships of all kinds take work on both sides, only very few friends “get a pass” when a serious trespass has occurred.

    CP: shuffle of all my Pixies for the rest of the afternoon

    xox you wonderful MFers.


  75. EssBee
    Wait, but they played in Denver last night…no? AM I wrong? I totally walked over to the Filmore and called the box office and they said 55$. Bah! I would have gone for 28 probably. Did they play at the Boulder Theater??

    PS…. I already haunt the Rocky Mountains….

  76. Oh and now Lo Pan finds out that Puscifer is charging 48 – 64$ for a ticket to their show. Hell of the High Jacked Prices!!!!!!!!! I’ll just pay 13$ for Electric 6 or Baroness.

    Must….get……concert…..fix…. but…too…poor….

  77. Lo Pan, Rhettro and I saw Baroness open for Opeth – – Not crazy about their vocals, but I still kinda dig their approach. I also regretfully passed on overpriced Puscifer tix.

    Ew JB, what did you get on my hands??

  78. Lo Pan enjoys the dirtyclean growls of Baroness. Perhaps it translates better over vinyl/cd. They are quite the musicians tho. As is the Opeth. Lo Pan digs.

    Perhaps Jack would be more keen on Torche. Lo Pan approved!!!!

  79. Lo Pan, I admit my obvious error and submit myself for punishment. The show was in Denver last night, not Boulder.

    My cuz had TWENTY EIGHT dollar tickets — I was wrong about that too. She got that price because she’s been to 15 shows this calendar year (something about livenation?) or some such deal. She is young and potentially full of total crap as a young punk who has time to go to 15 concerts.

    Ah, nice to be home . . .

  80. Lejon – that homework article was interesting. The parents had a valid point … of course, sticking your neck out like that … now the onus of your kid learning the material is all on you. 8(

    You’d have to have a lot of confidence in your kids scholastic aptitude AND attitude.

  81. I’m taking my swelled up tongue and going to bed. Stupid allergy.

    Why do I have to have bizarre allergies. Aloe Vera and Eggplant are my enemies. How can two things that are so good be so bad for me? I’m defective!

    Since I’m going to the New Moon premiere at midnight tomorrow night/Friday morning – whatever it is – I need to be rested.. so off I go.

    Goodnight, rear-view mirrors.

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